Dog Training the American Male: A NovelMeet Dr. Nancy Beach, a relationship counselor who hosts a local radio show called “Love’s a Beach.” One problem: The relationship guru can’t seem to make her own relationships work, sending her credibility and ratings into the toilet. Meet Jacob Cope—a walking thesaurus of phobias—a Lehman Brothers casualty who’s lost his job and swagger and now yearns to be a ventriloquist. When Nancy and Jacob are set up on a blind date and hit it off, their siblings, desperate to be rid of them, encourage the young couple to move in together. When the honeymoon stage abruptly ends, Jacob attempts to mend the fence by adopting a dog—a big dog—and Nancy flips out . . . until she realizes the dog trainer’s techniques can be used to housebreak Jacob and save her radio career. |
Contents
Chapter 01 Nancy | 1 |
Chpater 02 Jacob | 11 |
Chapter 03 Vincent | 14 |
Chapter 04 The Sunshine Hour | 21 |
Chapter 05 Always Be Polite | 28 |
Chapter 06 First Impressions | 31 |
Chapter 07 WOWFAM | 40 |
Chapter 08 Mother Cope | 42 |
Chapter 30 Bad Dog | 130 |
Chapter 31 Speed Bumps | 135 |
Chapter 32 Spencer | 137 |
Lesson Three Utilizing the Leash | 140 |
Lesson Four The Stay Command | 142 |
Chapter 35 The Alpha Dog | 145 |
Lesson Five Dealing with Separation Anxiety | 149 |
Lesson Six Breeding Rituals | 152 |
Chapter 09 Moving Day | 44 |
Phase One Nesting | 50 |
Phase Two Routine | 54 |
Phase Three When Does That Lease Expire? | 57 |
Chapter 13 Foofie | 61 |
Chapter 14 Sam | 64 |
Chapter 15 Dead Man Walking | 68 |
Chapter 16 The Cabots | 71 |
Chapter 17 Patel | 75 |
Chapter 18 Bitch Session | 79 |
Chapter 19 Lord and Masturbator | 82 |
Chapter 20 Ruby Kleinhenz | 89 |
Chapter 21 Anita | 92 |
Lesson One Conditioning | 95 |
Chapter 23 Old Habits | 98 |
Chapter 24 Old School | 104 |
Lesson Two Ball Playing | 107 |
Chapter 26 WOMB | 112 |
Chapter 27 Managing the Game | 116 |
Chapter 28 FauxPainting | 121 |
Chapter 29 BlackTie Elephants | 124 |
Lesson Seven Exercise | 158 |
Lesson Eight Toys and Accessories | 163 |
Chapter 40 Stray Dog | 168 |
Lesson Nine Social Issues | 171 |
Chapter 42 Distemper Issues | 173 |
Chapter 43 Love Hurts | 178 |
Lesson Ten Neutering Your Pet | 180 |
Chapter 45 The Vagina Dialogues | 183 |
Chapter 46 Male Bonding | 189 |
Lesson Eleven Scent Training | 196 |
Chapter 48 Blue Monday | 201 |
Lesson Twelve The Shock Collar | 207 |
Chapter 50 Ruby Tuesday | 212 |
Chapter 51 Dry Hump Wednesday | 218 |
Chapter 52 Shocking Thursday | 225 |
Chapter 53 Freakout Friday | 238 |
Lesson Thirteen Obedience Training | 247 |
Lesson Fourteen Unconditional Love | 257 |
Lesson One Becoming a Family | 262 |
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