Republican Party Reptile: The Confessions, Adventures, Essays and (Other) Outrages of . . .Writings from the old-school Republican and New York Times–bestselling author of How the Hell Did This Happen?: “Hilarious” (Christopher Buckley, author of Thank You for Smoking). In this collection of pieces, the outrageous political satirist renowned for such classics as Parliament of Whores takes on a wide range of cultural and political issues, and explains the platform of the Republican Party Reptile: “I think our agenda is clear. We are opposed to: government spending, Kennedy kids, seat-belt laws . . . busing our children anywhere other than Yale, trailer courts near our vacation homes . . . all tiny Third World countries that don’t have banking secrecy laws, aerobics, the UN, taxation without tax loopholes, and jewelry on men. We are in favor of: guns, drugs, fast cars, free love (if our wives don’t find out), a sound dollar . . . and a strong military with spiffy uniforms. There are thousands of people in America who feel this way, especially after three or four drinks. If all of us would unite and work together, we could give this country . . . well, a real bad hangover.” “To say that P. J. O’Rourke is funny is like saying the Rocky Mountains are scenic—accurate but insufficient. At his best he’s downright exhilarating . . . Republican Party Reptile is as rambunctiously entertaining as a greased pig catching contest. If you can find a funnier writer than P. J. O’Rourke, buy him a brandy, but don’t lend him the keys to your pickup.” —Chicago Tribune |
Contents
Tune In Turn On Go to the Office Late on Monday | |
A Long Thoughtful Look Back at the Last Fifteen Minutes | |
Ship of Fools | |
Goons Guns and Gold | |
Just One of Those Days | |
Ferrari Refutes the Decline of the West | |
HighSpeed Performance Characteristics of Pickup Trucks | |
A Cool and Logical Analysis of the Bicycle Menace | |
How to Drive Fast on Drugs While Getting Your Wing | |
Hollywood Etiquette | |
DinnerTable Conversation | |
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