Susan Slutt, Girl Dick

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JMS Books LLC, Sep 19, 2010 - Fiction
2 Reviews
Step aside, Nancy Drew! Watch out, Hardy Boys! And back off, Nurse Cherry Ames! There's a new private dick in town, and her name is Susan Slutt!Why, who is Susan Slutt, you ask? Only the greatest girl detective since the invention of children's chewable Prozac! There's no mystery Susan can't solve, no criminal she can't bring to justice, and no bra that can hold in her enormous buzongas! Susan's hometown of darling Porkerville may be the most vice-ridden town in the entire USA. Grown men grope each other in the street, loose women shake their rumps for dollars, and the rate of sexually transmitted diseases has skyrocketed since the fleet pulled in!But that's business as usual for happy Porkerville. It's only when evil lurks, or when terror strikes the hearts of its fair citizens, that the people tremble with fear. But there's no reason to fear, fair Porkervillians! Susan Slutt will save the day!Using all the tools any traditional girl sleuth would wield -- her keen sense of women's intuition, her uncanny knack for outlandish coincidence, her lawyer father's fearsome reputation, and her gigantic tah-tahs -- Susan Slutt will get to the bottom of any gruesome crime! And she'll do it all without chipping a nail or getting her fabulously appointed coif out of place!Join Susan and her best friend Ashleigh, her adopted sister Butch, her fey pal Beverly Francis Bold, those intrepid and hard-partying Baccardi Boys Frank and Joe, and a whole cast of queer adventurers as Susan solves ten side-splitting, hair-raising adventures! Contains the stories: * The Red Trailer Mystery * The Legend of Black Booty * Secret of the Bar Window * The Clue in the Princess Dairy * The Missing Chumps * Susan Slutt Finds the Tomb of Tutt, Boy King * The Mystery of the Brass-Bound Hunk * Harry Potted and the Chamber Pot of Secrets * Susan Slutt, Urology Nurse * The Bitch's Omen

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It just doesn’t get any
better than seeing the gorgeous “Mrs. Anita Pelaez” over at her and her
husband “Captain Kutchie’s” place..Some Folks Also Call Him..”The
KutchMan others call him The Kutchmon!”…Most Just Call Him “The Most
Interesting Man In The World”….(Anita and Kutchie Pelaez’s Key West, Key
Lime Pie Factory and Grill)…Just watching the lovely couple baking together all those Yummy
Key Lime Pies at their Key Lime Pie Factory and Grill in Asheville.
…It’s always worth the trip to visit them in they’re Historic Key Lime
Pie Factory and Grill…It should be on everyone’s bucket list for
sure..And The World’s Best Key Lime Pies!..YUM-YUM-YUM….­­.”Talk About
World Class” What An Understatement!…….AA­­HHHHH!….The Magic Of The
Lovely..”Mrs. Anita Pelaez” And Her Delicious Key Lime Pies Baked With
Pure Love…Always……40 Years And They’re Still Going Strong….
….May GOD Continue Blessing “Anita And Kutchie Pelaez” and They’re World
Famous Key Lime Pie Factory And Grill Where The Personalities, Ovens And
Smiles Are Always Warm And Inviting. “Kutcharitaville” You’re The Best We Love You!….
…Now You Know Who Is The Hottest!…And Baby Let Me Tell You, Mrs. Anita Is No Act…She’s The Real Thing Baby!…
….Located Near The Biltmore House And Estate…..
….Who Could Ask For Anything More?…Anita’s Key Lime Pie…(Hell Yes!)
….Just Think, Kutchie’s Goody Goody Cheese Burgers, “The Original
Cheese Burgers In Paradise!”….Sorry “Buffett”…Kutchie’s Version Of
“Cheese Burgers In Paradise” Came A Few Years Before Yours Did, “Dog Ate
Your Home-Work?!!
….That Alone Is Quite A Pretty Big Deal If You Ask Me. ….”Hell”,..It’s A Pretty Big Deal Even If You Don’t Ask Me.
Continually Confirms The Fact That The Pelaez’s World Famous Key Lime
Pies Truly Increases Married Couple’s Sex Rates By No Less Than 300%
Respectively. It Also Shows That Said Sexual Encounters Are Much, Much
More Enjoyable Than They Ever Were Before The Consumption Of The
Pelaez’s KLP.
…..And On A Sad Note. It Has Been Reported That
The Consumption Of The Famous Key Lime Pies Are Quite Detrimental To The
Practices Of Divorce Attorneys. But, That’s Not Bad. Hell That’s Good
…Not A Sad Note, A Happy Note! The Pelaez’s Pies Are A Win-Win-Win For Everyone Involved!
….I Guess You Could Say What Has Been Said Many Times
Before,…”AHHH” The Magic Of The Lovely Anita Pelaez And Her Key Lime
….I Do Know First Hand That The Pelaez’s Famous Key Lime Pies Have The Ability To Turn Small Stream Squirters Into Major League Gushers Or Some Might Call Them “Niagara Falls”. Holly Molly, Let Those Good Times Flow, Baby!

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About the author (2010)

Cornelius was born in the Finger Lakes region of New York state. After spending several years moving up and down the Eastern seaboard, he has settled in Southern Rhode Island.

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