Necessary Losses: The Loves Illusions Dependencies and Impossible Ex

Front Cover
Simon and Schuster, May 11, 2010 - Self-Help - 448 pages
From grief and mourning to aging and relationships, poet and Redbook contributor Judith Viorst presents a thoughtful and researched study in this examination of love, loss, and letting go.

Drawing on psychoanalysis, literature, and personal experience, Necessary Losses is a philosophy for understanding and accepting life’s inevitabilities.

In Necessary Losses, Judith Viorst turns her considerable talents to a serious and far-reaching subject: how we grow and change through the losses that are a certain and necessary part of life. She argues persuasively that through the loss of our mothers’ protection, the loss of the impossible expectations we bring to relationships, the loss of our younger selves, and the loss of our loved ones through separation and death, we gain deeper perspective, true maturity, and fuller wisdom about life. She has written a book that is both life affirming and life changing.

From inside the book

What people are saying - Write a review

We haven't found any reviews in the usual places.

Contents

NTRODUCTION
16
PART THE SEPARATE SELF Chapter I The High Cost of Separation
21
The Ultimate Connection
34
Standing Alone
43
The Private I
51
Lessons in Love
66
PART THE FORBIDDEN AND THE IMPOSSIBLE
81
When Are You Taking That New Kid Back to the Hospital?
83
Convenience Friends and Historical Friends and Crossroads and CrossGenerational Friends and Friends Who Come When You Call at Two in the Mo...
170
Love and Hate in the Married State
185
Saving the Children
205
Family Feelings
223
LOVING LOS ING LEAVING LETTING GO Chapter 16 Love and Mourning
237
Shifting Images
265
I Grow Old I Grow Old
284
The ABC of Dying
305

Passionate Triangles
100
Anatomy and Destiny IIS Chapter 9 Good as Guilt
130
Childhoods End
142
PART MPERFECT CONNECTIONS Chapter II Dreams and Realities
161
Reconnections
325
BLIOGRAPHY
417
ND EX
432
Copyright

Common terms and phrases

Popular passages

Page 396 - All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits, and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant, Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms; And then, the whining school-boy, with his satchel, And shining morning face, creeping like snail Unwillingly to school: And then, the lover; Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad Made to his mistress...
Page 86 - And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering: but unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect.
Page 396 - With spectacles on nose, and pouch on side ; His youthful hose, well sav'd, a world too wide For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice, Turning again toward childish treble, pipes And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all, That ends this strange eventful history, Is second childishness, and mere oblivion ; Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans every thing.
Page 364 - The phases and life tasks, defined elsewhere in this dictionary, are trust versus mistrust, autonomy versus shame and doubt, initiative versus guilt, industry versus inferiority, identity versus role confusion, intimacy versus isolation, generativity versus stagnation, and integrity versus despair.
Page 411 - It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Page 145 - Nothing I cared, in the lamb white days, that time would take me Up to the swallow thronged loft by the shadow of my hand, In the moon that is always rising. Nor that riding to sleep I should hear him fly with the high fields And wake to the farm forever fled from the childless land.
Page 396 - With eyes severe and beard of formal cut, Full of wise saws and modern instances; And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts Into the lean and...
Page 396 - The sixth age shifts Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon, With spectacles on nose and pouch on side, His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide For his shrunk shank ; and his big manly voice, Turning again toward childish treble, pipes And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all, That ends this strange eventful history, Is second childishness and mere oblivion, Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

About the author (2010)

Judith Viorst is the author of the beloved Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, which has sold some four million copies; the Lulu books, including Lulu and the Brontosaurus; the New York Times bestseller Necessary Losses; four musicals; and poetry for children and young adults. Her most recent books of poetry include What Are You Glad About? What Are You Mad About? and Nearing Ninety.

Bibliographic information