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MRS. BROWN DOES A FAVOUR.
I throwed myself on 'er with all my weight, and down she come I CERTINGLY didn't know much about Mrs. RANORFIELD more than with a squash, and I 'eld 'er on the floor; but law 'er strength was 'avin' seen 'er at MR. PADWIC" 's once or twice and 'eard say as she'd that tremenjous as she soon rolled me over and was up agin and at been 'ead nuss in a nobleman family, and was quite took aback by 'er the
young woman, as 'ad jest time to get out of the room, and left me a-comin' in to call on me, and that friendly as I didn't expect from one
at bay like with that drunken tiger. as I'd only took tea with ata mutual friend's, as the sayin' is.
I'd kep' the poker 'andy, so I says to 'er, "Now you keep off, or She come in werry elegant dressed, and a Chantilly wail as you don't ) else I'll try what cast iron can do." Not as I meant to 'it the poor often see, and
“Set down." says, "I've often promised myself the pleasure of comin' wretch with the poker ; but I says, to see you, Mrs. BROWN."
Well, she kep' er eye on me, and didn't move till she 'eard some I
says, "Mum, you're werry perlite,” as she certingly were, and one on the stairs, and then if she didn't take and lock the door. know'd manners, thro' 'er mother 'avin' been in the baby linen
So I says, “ This won't do," and I made up my mind for to close with line, and supplied the fust families and made shirts for the DUKE OF L'er, and so I did that sudden as she was throwed off 'er guard, as she York, as were sold second-'and at two guineus a-piece, bein' cambric, turned to lock the door, and I ketched her by the barms, and I throwd as wouldn't have fretted a baby's flesh, and 'ad 'em in my own 'ands
'er on the bed, and set on 'er legs and 'eld down 'er arms. and never paid for, as is often the way.
To 'ear 'er yell was awful. I called to them as was outside to bust So she set and chatted wery pleasant, and she said at last, " I must open the door, or else get a ladder and come in at the winder; I mabe goin'."
naged for tɔ 'old that deluded maniac down in the bed, as tried to bite I says, "Where's your'urry," a-knowin' as she'd nothink for to do. at me, and raved, and I was jest a-feelin' my strength a-giving way
"Oh,” she says, “I'm werry busy, and only come out for a little when a man's 'ead come up to the winder, as were soon in the room. fresh hair, thro' bein' nearly wore out nussin'.''
We'd a 'ard struggle to get the key from 'er, but at last we did, and I says,, You don't say 80; why I thought as you'd give that up then the gentleman as were the doctor's assistant, let in the servant long ago."
and another woman. Of all the figgers as ever you see I was the Oh yes,” she says, “ so I have,” but she says, “ Lady LIDIA come queerest without a bit of cap or 'air on my 'ead and my face scratched, in 'er own carriage, and was ready' to go down on'er knees to me for to and my gownd nearly tore off my back. come and nuss 'er daughter as is MKs. Neate.”
So says the doctor, “ Where did she get the drink ?" I says, "Oh! indeed, and I hope she's a.doin' well."
Says that impident hussey of a servant, “ This good lady give it 'er."
“ Me!" "Bless you, do," she says, "she might do well but for 'er temper, leastways," she says, a-checkin''erself—it's one of them cases as wants the
“Yes,” she says;
you told me to let 'er 'ave it." greatest care and watchin' constant, and I daren't 'ardly leave 'er as
I says, “I never did 'ear of sich a thing.". ’ave got 'er in a lodgin' near Clapham Common, but was obliged to get
Why!” she says, "you said to me, Let 'er have the drops, if a little fresh hair this mornin', and it's werry 'ard to think as she can't they'll pacify 'er.'” be left, for my boy's a-goin' to be married the day arter to morrow and for we 'ad our work cut out to keep that poor wretch in bed, and at
I never was more took aback, but there wasn't no time for talkin', I can't go."
"Well,” I says, " that is 'ard, to be sure ;” but I says, “Why not get last she was quite wore out and fell into a sort of stupor like. some one as you can trust for to watch 'er ?”
I says to the doctor, “She must have got at the brandy afore I come, “Ah!” she
says, “Where am I for to find sich a one-not as she's any for what I see 'er take couldn't 'ave drove 'er mad.” trouble, for she's always a readin' or a sleepin', except at meal time;
I stopped till jest on five o'clock, and then went away, as no Mrs. and all I wants is some one to mount guard for a'our or two while I'm RANCBPIELD didn't turn up, and if that woman didn't go and tell Mrs. away."
PADWICK, as she'd asked me for to look arter a lunatic for a 'our or “Well," I says, “Mum, if I could be of any use."
two, and 'ad been 'plied the poor crestur with brandy till I brought “Law," she says,
“Mrs. Brown, you're the worry one as I've been on delirous trimlins. longin' for."
So I 'ad it out with 'er, and made 'er beg my pardon, for she found So I says to myself, "Oh! oh! my lady, that's what you come arter pas out as it was that servant as did used to let that poor thing 'ave the I was sorry as Td spoke, but law, she jumped at me so gudden as I sperrits on the sly, as was a confirmed drunkard as nothing wouldn't couldn't get out of it, so was obligated to go.
cure, and all brought on thro' the doctors a-giving of 'er them stinyIt was a quiet-looking 'ouse as she were a-livin' in, and I got there lants for medicines when low, as got 'er into the 'abits of drink, as I'm by ten in the mornin', and Mrs. Rancefield said as I were a dear, and told is werry common among the first ladies as takes to it like that. off she went, only sayin' as I needn't go near Mrs. Neste till I was not as she'll ever ask me ag'in, for that poor creetur is dead and gone,
But never will I forgive Mrs. RANCEFIELD a-playin' me sich a trick, called for.
I 'adn't been in the 'onse ten minits when I 'eard the bell ring like and never 'ad 'er senses no more not to know any one, as was werty thundor and lightning broke loose, and the servant says,
awful and a-warnin' not to give way to them sperrits when you feels
low, as only gives relief for a time, and is sure to end bad. So up I goes to the first floor front, and there was that inwalid asettin' agin' the winder with a face that flamin' as I says to myself ain't been bronght on by toast and water.
Cut your Coat according to the Cloth." When she see me sho says, “Oh, you're the old woman as is to amuse me."
GOODNESS 'knows ! I'm very willing I saya, ** Excuse me, mum, but I were not aware."
To regard this caution-but She says, “Oh, bother, cut it short."
Vain 'tis this to be instilling Well, I did stare at 'er to 'ear a lady talk like that; she says, “Don't
When I've got no cloth to cut! stand starin' there, come and set down.”
Some are lucky, birth provides them So I set down, and she says, “ Old faggot in flounces is out, and I
With their coats already made; mean to do as I like in spite of you, so ring that bell." In course I rung it, and up come the servant, and she says to 'er,
Such their style-no one derides them,
All their tailors' bills are paid. “bring me the drops." The servant pays, “ There ain't none in the 'ouse."
Others, true, have got the bother She says, “That's a lie, and if you don't bring it I'll raise the neigh
Of the making of their coats; bourhood."
But they get the cloth sans potherI says to the servant, “For mercy -sake give "er the drops, if they'll
No harsh fate their lot denotes. pacify 'er." “ Werry well,” she says, 's mind it's your doings;" and out of the
Others have much toil and racket, room she goes and brings back a black bottle.
For but little cloth have they, & Whatever drops are they?”.
Scarce enough for e'en a jaoketBut a-fore the gal could answer me that poor creetur 'ad grabbed
Yet that serves them in its way. 'old of the bottle, as I see and smell were brandy, and if she didn't
But, alas, for me, though clever begin a-drinking it out of the bottle.
In the "ontter's" complex art, 1 says to the gal, “ 'elp me get it away from 'er," and I'd 'ave got
For myself I labour never :it away only I see the young woman was afraid, so I watched my
Is it strange I've lost all heart? opportunity and got 'old of the poker and gave that bottle sich a tap as it flowed to atoms in 'er 'and.
Is it strange these words impel me If you'd 'ave 'eard 'er scream and dash the neck of the bottle at me,
To give way to bitter wrath ! as made a dent in the wall behind me 'arf a inch deep, and then she
How to cut my coat pray tell me made a rush at the gal and ketched 'old of 'er by the 'air of 'er 'ead.
But when I have got the cloth!
THE STREET SEMAPHORE.
Sam afore, and a' doant want t' see 'um agen. A s'pose as it's
statty to SIR ROBT. PEEL, I says, but we're boun' ta e Commons MASTER EDITUR-SIR,—Wheo us as live't a distuns comes up ta House and go cro88 I wull.” “Stop for yer life," sez another. Lundun ta spon' the Chriselmas holdays, it's mostly t' case that we “ Doan't yer see as the arms is up—and a green light. That means, goes aout an 'baout a good deal heer an' theeur for t see soights. stay where thou art." So we staid, tull t' arms went all but most Thairs t' waxwurk, an' Ľ Pollythickneck, an' t' Tower whair they down an' then we wos just off agen—wen 'nother roars out, “Not sa keep ta carown jewilary, an' t' Hoyde Parks, an Son Poles, an' mony sharp- red loight's on'y half way up.” “What o' thot," sez I. others for to go an' look at. Wot's mooar, their's t' Wassminst' Abby “Why that thou must stop were 't art, ef you doant want to be locked as shows a soite larger than our pairish church foive toimes ower. up.". So we stopped, till t' arms begun to move o' our side, an' then I But I tell thee, m. lad, that I never could ha' guessed t' see ruch soight tuk hard hold o' missis and made a run for 't. “Come back," roars as me and t' miosis come to t' day as we was away for t' peep inta † the peepul.” “What for ?" sez I. "'Cos there's one arm oop and t Commons House an' t' Haouse o' Loords. We ha' heerd somewat doun other down, and one green an' one red loight.” “What then ?" I sez, wi' us a boat the ways o' the Polis in London, an' that they was from the midst o' t' road. Why ta means that thou'lt be tooken in t be refoormed, along o' everything else, 'cordin' to t’ new Parly- custody, whether thou triest to go 'cross a whether thou stop were ť ment, so t paapers did say: but we had nought to say 'gin it. We art.” “Then,” I says, "Danged'if 't matters which," and I made a ba' no call to grezzle oursel's 'bout no polis when we live at hoam, roosh for t other soide—and two polis snatches hold o' me an' begins becos there's nobbut one elderly old person that answers to that naim for to drag me off. “Keep ť bands off o' om, Joe,” screams missis,
wi' us, and we care nought 'bout him whilst he keeps himsen to’msen. “an' go quiet, or else there's no knowin' what mayn't come on it, We had heerd how 'twere much t' same in London of late, and that for them polis all hang8 thegither an' might swear 't you was bloodfolk was minded to tak' care o' their own houses, an' just hold their thirsty." "She 'd read t' papers, Missis had—an' know the ways o' ť honds ready for to gi' onybody a swoipe that com'a-interferun wi' London polis coorts, an' so I held my hands off o' the pair ov 'em. un; but we worn't ready for to see wot t' koind C'missioners has When they seen this, I can't say at they did 's much for me, for they been doin' wi' the poor feeble chaps, so as t' keep 'em out 'o danger. poonched, an' kicked me all t way to t station, so that ma blood biled Them there's wonderfool playthengs, them “Sam afores" sure-ly; but to throttle 'em-an' I says, "What charge is there ta bring. 'gainst theire a bit mischeevious a' doabt, as me an' missis knows but too me." And they says, “ Magistraat wull tell you in th' mornin' what's well; an' t' ould lass aint ben ť same sence day 'fore yest'day, when t charge," and so he did—and he said as I were to be fined a pound we was stannin' at a main junction o' streets, an' waitin' for the for obstructin' o' the polis in th' axacation o' ther dooty; and when I peepul an' t cooaches to go by, so 's we might roon t' t'other side. said, “No such a thing.'- -as it was all along o' that ther Sam aforeWe was one foot off o' the pave, when a mon as stood near by hollers he says, “We doan't allow such language here; and when rooffians out, “ Hold hard," sez be ; " doan't yee see t' Sam afore i” “I doant like thee,” he says, “molest the polis in ther innercont amusements, thee care," I says, " whether sam be afore or b’hind, but go 'cross I wull," must be made to larn as t' law was made a porpos to proteck the an' begins to drag missis arter me, when 'nether feller says, “ You'll be polis.” An' so I paid † fine, and t' Commons House may be at t'. smashed sure-ly," sez he, "for now t' pollis is a signaloilizing for t bottom o' t' sea 'fore I go there agen.-Yours obedient, stop all t traffick boath horse an' foot. Look at t' Sam afore. Wi'
Joss. COGGLE. thot he pinted at a great big thing, as loike as one bean to 'nother to the things as I've seen on t' railway line, with arms like a apperition starked out o' either side, and great lamps as goggles at yon, red an'
Out in the Cold. Those who predicted skating at Christmas. green.
“ Wot's that P'' says I. “Why, t' new Sam afore," sez “ UNION 18 STRENGTH."— True, but what would become of our som un. “Well,” says I, “burn my picture if I seed much o' manufacturers without a division of labour ?
LA DONNA INCOGNITA.
would stand rather less chance than usual. We have looked over the two
numbers of the magazine, and cannot see anything either in prose or When cityward daily I travel,
verso wbich rises above mediocrity, or the publication of which is of My friends are discreet who suppose In the park, I'm intent on the gravel,
any good to anyone-except its author. Seriously, the scheme is only
likely to benefit the proprietary committee, and will do little to further And muse, in the street, on my toes.
the interests of the ambitious amateur, who, if he have the stuff in Still in spite of this excellent virtue,
bim, must succeed. The magazine is calculated to encourage the vain I'd whisper in passing and own
aspirations of those who fancy literature the easiest thing in the My feelings whenever I skirt you,
world. We have over and over again seen the letters of people who, My little unknown.
having failed in trade or commerce, are **anxious to make a little You've children-ges, three-to take care of,
money with the pen." What would a bootaraker say if an amateur Your voice is more sweet when it scolds,
offered to make a pair of boots, or an engine-driver if he offered to I would give balf the world for a share of
pilot an express! Literature needs an apprenticeship like anything The hand that the tiniest holds.
else. It is the most amusing thing in the world to a man who works Their hair slines anew when your fingers
hærd at the literary profession to bear an amateur talking about the Put straight what the breezes have blown,
novel he knooked off while he was shaving, or the comedy he wrote And someone, though walking still lingers
over a cigar after dinner! However, ito return to the magazine ; unTo watch you, unknown.
less there be a great improvement on these first two mumbers, it is not
likely to take a place in the world of magazines. The anonymous Very often the hoops that they trundle,
Committee, moreover, will do well to give a better guarantee of the Take CLAUDE off and KATEY unkempt,
careful and competent reading it promises than an anonymous Editor, And Guy, who is only a bundle,
who wants a little reading himself-witness the elegance of the senTo follow makes frequent attempt.
tence, "One or two repetitions of the formula completely disheartens It is then that I feel I am plucky,
I love to see the morn break o'er the hill,
The breaking mists adown some forest glade,
The water-breaks upon a headlong rin,
Or breaking light through stormy dlands atrayed.
The break in some long range of mountain-peaks
That gives a glimpse of loveliness beyond-
The break-how brief-of lovers that bespeaks
The future reconciliation fond.
But of all breakages that I have mot-
And I have seen a little in that line-
The one that I have ne'er experienced yet-
The sight which I shall never dlaim as mine
The sight that never will be beaten-no!
The man who breaks, yet pays what he doth owe.
Let Right be done,
And give a flourishing Midland-Counties town of world-wide repu-
tation its due. It is but just to state that, at the late election When love-well, with loveliness blends,
Burton was not in a state of ferment.
That we should refuse to be friends.
A VERY one-horse affair.-The taking of Troy.
Answers to Correspondents.
[We cannot return unaccepted MSS. or Sketches, unloss they are accomIn Picture Fables (ROUTLEDGE & SONS) OTTO SPECTER gives us some
panied by a stamped and directed envelope; and we do not hold ourselves of his wonderful pictures of animale, full of truth and individuality, responsible for loss.] small though they be. They are engraved by the MESNES. DALZIEL most
G. Ox.-Well, if we had said G, we should have named another gos
druped. faithfully, and afford a complete answer to the growlers who assert
D. (Luton) must not get D-lutin' good jokes like that. that modern wood-engraving is mechanical. A“ mechanism” which OXYGEN (Veterinary Colloge).-You mean hossygen, we gas. gives not the idiosyncrasy of the cutter, but the touch of the artist, has G. C. C.-(Cavendish-square). We did not care for them. too much sympathy with art to be very distinct from it. The colour- J. W.8.-We do not see how your picture of a blind beggar led by a dog printing is satisfactory because not too brilliant, although as the book is an illustration of "out of sight, ont of mind.” Is the second clause a is a cheap one it is not to be compared with too lofty standards. It is delicate allusion to the artist ? as good as—if not better than-the Illustrated Almanack, which is often W. W. (Bermondsey).—The joke is not worth a tanner, being also unquoted as an example. The German fables are fairly enough trang-worthy of one. lated, and the book as a whole is one that we can recommend as a gift
H. J.-We cannot insert an old joke-even to oblige an elderly gentleman. for the young:
HYACINTH.-Not up to the mark :-one doesn't expect bulbs to be up Although literature may not be laid under any great obligation by the
just yet. appearance of the Amateur Authors' Magazine, we fancy Editors will market" you had better stop. Or try the drug-market, it might go there.
J. R. J. B. (Bedalo).-If that was your "first venture in the jokehave some reasons to be grateful to it, for absorbing MSS. which B. (Leeds). -Your "ghost story" hasn't a ghost of a chance, for there is might otherwise attack them. It is started by an Amateur Authors' not the shade of a departed joke even in it. Association,” which is under the management of a “ proprietary FAG says that “izzard " is not in the Dictionary. Izzard it? Then it committee.” We dare say the committee will make it answer, for human ought to be. Look under the letter S. vanity and the ambition for print will pay up all the fees set forth in 4. T. W. (Stalybridge).-Thanks :- perhaps more abon. the prospectus, whereas the contributions to the magazine boing
Declined with tbanks :-K.; W., Brighion; T., Hertford; W. D., "paid
for according to merit” will not put them to a great outlay. Regent'a-perk; X;; H. E. 1., Brighton ; A. A. s. ;F. W. B., B adford; One of the regulations” is that MSS. submitted to the Association, Needham Market; Don' Hilaro; M., Coogleton; J. J.; J. K.,
W.J. C., Leeds ; J. B.; Ywd, Stirling; 6. S., Handsworth ; W.; J. B., will be transmitted, if approved, to such editors or publishers as are road; R., Liverpool ; Nobody's Great Grandmother; Next but One; Dra. coneidered likely to accept the same. One would like to know a little matico; X., Southampton ; R. S., Cheltenham ; Jivins ; Nemo; The Party more about the Association, in connection with which not a single as Done it ; L. M.; s., Bristol; T. T.; V., Yeovil; Ugly Mog; Popley's name appears, as that would enable one to estimate the value and Dog; T. Ü., Islington; R., Hull; G., Ashton; Romeo; Cannibal K.; weight of this agency. For our part, we fancy MSS. so forwarded Q. in the Cornet ; F. v. ; Letsby; I. J., Merthyr.
A TANKBB VIEW OF THE CLASSICS.
DOUBLE ACROSTIC.-No. 96.
W. have had them as long as this child can remember,
It will last for some time,
And we'll say—just for rhyme-
1.-It's an ancient institution;
But a recent distribution
In its working may effect.
A reform that's quite correct.
In eighteen sixty-nine,
And this among the lot
Will be done away: we've got
Such splendid education now we get,
And ÁR. BRIGHT thinks if you do-
There'd be a row, I do suppose !
CORRECT SOLUTIONS OY ACROSTIO No. 94, RECRIVED Dec. 30th :-
DREADFUL DISFIGUREMENT. If ALGERNON DE WINTON will smoke those horrid pipes in the street, he must take the consequences of the foreshortened meerschaum.
A SPLIT RING.-The P. R.
Making Assurance Doubly Sure.
pests of the farm-rabbits—that he not only kills them on every opSIR,—I observe that the following paragraph is going the rounds— portunity, but smothers 'em afterwards — in onion sauce. In the Nautical Almanac 105 new planets are entered. There is now a difficulty in finding names for them. Taking into consideration the amount of benefit accruing to the public
Musical. from the large sum I contribute to the revenue in the shape of income-tax, duties on alcoholic liquors, tobacco, &c., I put it to you
The Musical Times says that the lowering of the musical pitch in whether it would be anything more than an act of common courtesy to England is about to assume a practical form. We are glad to hear it, name one of these lesser luminaries after
for there is a great deal of musical pitch which defiles those who touch Your humble servant,
it. It would not be a bad beginning of the movement to abolish the
per-contage to singers. The next best step would be to abolish those John SMITH. critics who have been tarred with the same brush as-well, never
mind. A Patent Fact. We notice the following in the list of patents on which the Stamp
Seeing is Believing. Daty of $100 has recently been paid :
Yes! and members of the prize-ring will not credit anything that "J. D. Napier, Glasgow, improvement in breaks; December 6th, 1861.”
is not a knockular demonstration. Look to your laurels, ME88RS. POOLE, PETERs, and John ROBERTS !
NOTICE.—On Wednesday next, January the 13th, will appear, The day of the week.—Pay-day.
THE PANTOMIME NUMBER OF FUN. A VERY fishy neighbourhood. Bream's buildings.
Sixteen pages, profusely illustrated. Price One Penny.
OVER COATS, 21s. TO
IN STOOR POB IMMEDIATE USR, OR MADE TO MEASURE.
SAMUEL BROTHERS, 50, LUDGATE
Printod by JUDD & GLASB, Phants Works, St. Andrew's FM, Dootors' Commons, and published (for the Propriotor) at 80, Moot-stroot, E.C. -London : JANUARY 2, 1 869.
THE POWER OF PANTOMIME.
BLANCHARD, E. L., as of old, is his oracle
Annual oracle, never grow old
Sent years ago in a classical coracle,
Fancy to fashion, and fun to unfold.
Ministers faithful are found for his cabinet,
CHATTERTON, HARRIS, and SHEPHERD, and Smith,
Pantomime's politics ! Surely they're dab in it.
Subjects ? the public, its kin and its kith.
Worthy old Pantomime monarch, we bow to you,
Never a moment our loyalty fear,
Rule us we humbly entreat you; and now to you
Wish all success and a happy next year!
HERE, THERE, AND EVERYWHERF:
OUR notice of the Pantomimes and Christmas performances will be in a fog
found elsewhere in our columns. At such a season even criticism is Prophecy's bosh when not above indulging in a jig, and our remarks have, for diversity's sake,
your fat physi- broken into rhyme. There are, however, two places which cater for ognomy
the juveniles, to whom the holidays are especially devoted, and which, Tells us you're jolly therefore, although they do not strictly belong to the round of the as ever, old dog.
theatres, must not be overlooked.
At the Crystal Palace we have, with a host of other amusements too Let the world cynical long to enumerate, a very capital pantomime entitled Harlequin Little
be and censorious, Boy Blue and Little Bo Peep. The story is intelligible enough, but it is Pulling tradition
surrounded by a number of extraneous details, which, however, are so and memories
amusing that they could be ill dispensed with. Little Boy Blue down.
develops into a sort of miniature St. George who destroys the dragon, Argument's out of your by whose aid the wicked squire has run away with Boy Blue's sweet
way, it's notorious heart, Little Bo Peep. The opening scene, in which the fairies of the Better reply cannot twelve hours step out of a gigantic dial-plate, is pretty and fanciful,
be than a Clown! and the procession of months and days is telling, while the transforBlasé old fellows to mation scene is one of the most brilliant the Palace has ever displayed.
laughter inimical, It is poetical justice that in the opening of this essentially juvenile Often pay dear for pantomime the honours should be carried off easily
by Percy ROSELLE their crabbed and his sister. The comic business is brisk and bustling, and the grimace,
clowning is good. Satire is best when
At the Holborn Amphitheatre the performances of the CARRÉ it's happy and troupe have been supplemented by a novelty, of which the scientific mimical
title of The Marvels of Electricity does not give an adequate idea, for it
Pantaloon surely gets is full of grotesqueness and comicality.
slapped in the
A Touching Case.
A Youth of respectable appearance was found the other morning in
an exhausted state outside our office. On inquiry, it transpired that Harlequin changes the scene with his wand !
he had been engaged in a severe struggle with a difficult pun, which Bachelor lives very many must gloty in,
he was anxious to lick into shape. After the usual custom of such Tilting at love with a blundering lance,
puns, it had taken the form of a riddle—“Why is an actor who has Pantomime's show there's a fanciful story in
just joined the Prince of Wales's company likely to increase the Columbine tells us of love in a dance !
popularity of that theatre ? Because he's an Addison-al attraction !"
It is to be hoped the young man's friends will shortly reclaim him.
Sprites and hobgoblins and fairies in turn,
A MASTER OF WIND INSTRUMENTS.—The man who can play on the