A PAGE OF EARLY HISTORY.

COMPILED FROM AUTHENTIC SOURCES.

E have much pleasure in placing before
our readers some facts in early English
history, of which we can boast the ex-
clusive possession. They are derived
from certain illuminated MSS. at present
preserved in the Record Office, where
they would seem to have escaped the
researches of the indefatigable MACAULAY,
the laborious KEIGHTLEY, and MRS.
MARKHAM.

From these documents we gather that
KING LUD, founder of the British
Monarchy, was a ruler whose wishes to
advance civilization were unfortunately
thwarted by the mischievous effects of an
ungovernable temper. One of the first
acts of LUD's reign was to enact that all
conversation should be carried on in
decasyllabic couplets, for the encourage-
ment of literature and the refinement of
the public taste. Those who were unable to overcome the difficulties
of versification were compelled to express their wants and wishes in
dumb show. The severity of this restriction is supposed to have given
the first impetus to the conspiracy which ultimately drove LUD from
the throne. Such was the unpoetic character of the Early Briton.
Lub had one lovely and accomplished daughter, the PRINCESS
FLOSALBA. She was an extremely beautiful girl, and sang with great
taste and execution the popular melodies
of the period. Her chief charm con-
sisted in the quantity and quality of
her golden locks. Her dresses, in
short, were not so long as her tresses.
Her dancing was considered exquisite.

the

LUD, though a proud and affectionate parent, was, as we have hinted, afflicted with a hasty temper. So long as its ebullitions were confined to the kicking and cuffing of the Court and attendants they were pardonablevery pardonable indeed, for courtiers and retainers were endowed with a superlative stupidity that at once gave the lie to the speculations of phrenology; since their heads being abnormally large gave promise, according to that art, of considerable intellectual capacities.

Unfortunately, LUD and his only child had some differences of opinion as to the eligibility of the suitors who presented themselves to the Princess; and His Majesty displayed his temper very decidedly, and refused to argue the point in choice decasyllabic couplets. When the poor girl attempted to move him by singing an appeal to the air of "Goody, please to moderate," he became so incensed that he seized her by the wrist, and dragged her about the room, between the verses. The cause of the quarrel was this: His Majesty wished FLOSALBA to marry an old friend and schoolfellow of his, the Duke of Dodderdaddy, alleging that His Grace's age and experience were calculated to benefit and advance the interests of the nation. The Princess naturally objected to a husband who was as old as her father. She had, in fact, bestowed her affections on a young prince-PRINCE PRETTIKIN, son of a neighbouring potentate. It is, of course, impossible at this distance of time, to pronounce on the merits of the difference between LUD

and his daughter; but the king would appear not to have been entirely unreasonable in his objections to PRINCE PRETTIKIN. That was decidedly of effeminate appearance, and was passionately fond of fine clothes. He wore his hair long, and bound up

young man

He wore his

in a knob behind, resembling the modern chignon.
tunic shortish, to display a very symmetrical and shapely leg of a
ladylike description, and his voice was silvery and girl-like. He was
not, perhaps, the man whom a prudent monarch would have chosen
as his successor on the throne of a semi-barbarous nation.
The prince and FLOSALBA found frequent opportunities of meeting
and singing duets-a somewhat rash amusement at a clandestine
rencontre, and one which accounts for the frequent interruption of their
tête-à-têtes by the infuriated monarch and his senile friend the Duke
of Dodderdaddy, upon whom, in revenge, the Princess assisted by
PRETTIKIN, played off the most heartless practical jokes.

LUD, driven to desperation by his daughter's conduct, called together
his Cabinet, to consult them as to the course he should pursue. His
Cabinet contained men with the biggest heads in the kingdom, but as
the utterance of their wisdom consisted of hollow mumblings of
te-rum te-rum te-rum te-rum! te-rum!
te-rum te-rum te-rum te-rum! te-RUM!

it is scarcely to be wondered at that His Majesty lost his temperwiped his enormous pen on the Chancellor's nose, dipped the Lord Treasurer's head in the inkstand, and laid his sceptre vigorously about the heads of the rest. At last he determined to hold a tournament, the prize of which was to be his daughter's hand. He probably adopted this means of deciding the question because he concluded from PRETTIKIN's effeminate appearance that he was no warrior. The Duke of Dodderdaddy, by the king's advice, sought the aid of a noted witch residing in the neighbourhood of Whitechapel, from whom he proeured a magic sword w rranted by an eminent firm at Sheffield to conquer its owner's foes.

On the day of the tournament crowds of suitors arrived, but were vanquished one after the other by PRETTIKIN, who, to the astonishment of everyone, turned out to be an accomplished swordsman. At length the Duke of Dodderdaddy entered the lists mounted on his fiery hobby-horse, and challenged the prince to single combat. PRINCE PRETTIKIN had received information about the magic sword from a lady who was driving an opposition trade to the Whitechapel witch. He, therefore, contrived, while he and the Duke were salut

ing the Princess, to exchange blades. The result was that after a terrific struggle the Duke was overthrown, and PRETTIKIN claimed the Princess's hand. LUD, forgetting that a monarch's word should be his bond, refused, and declaring the tournament at an end, retired to the palace with his daughter, followed by the Court The Whitechapel witch having been in the crowd at the lists detected the cause of the Duke's defeat. Mixing, unobserved, with the retinue she entered the palace, and explained to the King and the Duke the reason of PRETTIKIN's success. LUD immediately ordered the Prince to be executed, and gave the hand of the reluctant FLOSALBA to the Duke.

But the tyrant's career was at an end. The insurrection that had long been smouldering burst out suddenly, and the tables were turned on King and Duke, while the Prince and Princess were victorious. The documents are somewhat obscure and difficult of interpretation just here, but it would seem that the royal palace was undermined, and that just as PRETTIKIN was ordered for execution the walls fell, and revealed to the astonished monarch the insurrectionary forces. The women seem to have been at the head of the movement. Clad in short skirts of book muslin, they advanced with threatening actions-some suspended in air, others waist deep in the translucent Thames, which was lit up by the glare of torches of various colours.

But little remains to be told. PRINCE PRETTIKIN assumed the habit and title of regent. The title seems to have been EARL O'KIN, while the habit was a close-fitting one covered with triangles of all sorts of colours, and plenteously spangled. FLOSALBA, thenceforth known as COLUMBINE, gave up her singing, as ladies generally do after marriage, but devoted herself more than ever to dancing. LUD escaped by painting his face, and assuming the simple white and red dress of a peasant or clown. He wandered through the kingdom, supporting himself by pilfering and all sorts of dishonesty. He was perpetually at war with the constituted authorities, and gave great trouble to the police of the period. The Duke accompanied him in his wanderings with a faithful, if imbecile, friendship that was ill-requited by the torments and tortures the King heaped on him. He became, in short, the thing SHAKESPEARE alludes to as "the lean and slippered pantaloon."

"CHAR-LIE was a cle-ver boy. He got up a pant-o-mime in the nur-se-ry. But it was very wick-ed to paint ba-by's face like the Tox Dor Clown at Dru-ry Lane last year;-and so his ma-ma would not li-cense the per-form-ance."