Inexperienced Boardman:-"I FEEL STARTLED AND PERPLEXED AT BEING CALLED UPON IN CONNECTION WITH THE PRESIDENCY OF THE BOARD," ETC.-Vide MR. BR*GHT's Speech at Fishmongers' Hall.

PENGWYLLIM'S CATASTROPHE.

FUN.

NGWYLLIM AP
TAFFID, of Llan-
bwilliog Creek,
Was as gallant a
Welshman as ever
wore leek.

He was great at
Eisteddfod and
similar gather-
ings

HERE, THERE, AND EVERYWHERE.

253

THE Bird Show at the Crystal Palace was very large, indeed, this year. Of course the chief part of it was taken up with canaries; and as they are judged for plumage in all sorts of fancy varieties and not for song, the general public does not feel much interest in them. Most people purchase a canary for a soft note-not for an oddity of colour that disappears after a few moultings. The show of foreign birds, and other birds, not canaries, was a good one. A yellow parakeet was very pretty, and we should think a great rarity. Some of the parrots were good talkers, but of this it is difficult to judge where there is so great a crowd; parrots, like children, will only exhibit to those who, they know, understand them. We think it a pity that the Palace authorities do not exercise a little supervision to see that birds which are sent in are provided for with care and humanity. One poor parrot, we With his llwn- noticed, was sent-in in a cage with a perch that revolved so that the blgrwllyn-poor thing had constantly to hold on to the wires with its beak. In dwflwerw!* another instance a magpie, exhibited by Mr. ISAACS, was so dirty that he might have passed for a blackbird, and this could have been no fault of his, poor mag, for magpies love a bath, and will wash at every opportunity.

Where he gave rival
harpers remarkable
leatherings.

He had herds of
Welsh rabbits and
wickerwork boats,
Three acres of leeks
and three couple of
goats,

He'd a harp, too,
whose fame had
e'en crossed o'er
the channel,
And he always was
clad in the best of
Welsh flannel,

With his llwnblgrwllyndwflwerw!

He came into England the nation to squelch,
And to teach all the people to talk in good Welsh,
To feed on Welsh mutton, Welsh rabbits, and leeks-
Did PENGWYLLIM AP TAFFID of Llanbwilliog Creeks.
With his llwnblgrwllyndwflwcrw!

But a Scotchman he met on a racecourse one day,
For a Welsher mistook our Welsh friend I should say;
For without "by your leave" he whipt out his skene dhu
And ran poor PENGWYLLIM AP TAFFID clean through-
With his llwnblgrwllyndwflwerw!

And now on his grave in the churchyard is seen
The leek with its foliage of exquisite green:

And the goats rub their backs on the tomb of our friend,
And you see the Welsh rabbits there sit up on end,
With his llwnblgrwllyndwflwcrw!

MODEST REQUIREMENTS.

THE poet has said, "Man wants but little here below." If the poet had seen the following advertisement he would have added a foot-note to explain that he meant the male sex, not genus homo, for woman's wan ts are not so diminutive:

WANTED, an Assistant for a lady who has a large family, a Lady competent to manage six servants and make them do their duty; she should thoroughly understand all kinds of plain needlework, mending, &c., be a very neat plain

white worker, willing to take the growing children out to walk, and in every respect about the house to make herself generally useful; a widow without encumbrance preferred; no one younger than 30 or older than 40 need apply; one competent to prepare the children in their lessons for their masters preferred; terms £12 a year.

The lady wants for twelve pounds per annum-a sum for which one cannot nowadays get a drudge of all work-a Lady who combines the qualifications of housekeeper, dressmaker, general servant, nursemaid, governess, and companion. That is to say, she wants to procure the services of the half-dozen at two pounds a head! We are sorry for her, because we should think she is likely to be disappointed. But we should be infinitely more sorry if such a being could exist for the accomplished lady who would be compelled to take the twelve pounds a year!

Letting another Cat out of the Bag. MR. REVERDY JOHNSON recently jocosely remarked that"The worst use you can put a cat to is to put her in a bag." We may remark, "with one exception." But it may be that Brother Jonathan is as ignorant of the mysteries of the British sausage as the generality of Englishmen are of the good qualities of the canvas-back

Duck.

• If the miserable Saxon likes he can skip the chorus, but we warn him it is the finest passage in the poem.

THE TEA.

BY CARRY BORNWALL.

THE tea! The tea! The beef, beef-tea!
The brew from gravy-beef for me!
Without a doubt, as I'll be bound,

The best for an invalid 'tis found;

It's better than gruel; with sago vies;
Or with the cradled babe's supplies.

I like beef-tea! I like beef-tea,

I'm satisfied, and aye shall be,

With the brew I love, with the brew I know,

And take it wheresoe'er I go.

If the price should rise, or meat be cheap,
No matter? I'll to beef-tea keep.

I love-oh, how I love to guide

The strong beef-tea to its place inside,
When round and round you stir the spoon
Or whistle thereon to cool it soon.
Because one knoweth-or ought to know,
That things get cool whereon you blow.

I never have drunk the dull souchong,

But I for my loved beef-tea did long,
And inly yearned for that bountiful zest,
Like a bird: as a child on that I messed-
And a mother it was and is to me,

For I was weaned on the beef-beef-tea!

Chemist, Fiddler, Statesman, and Buffoon,
Boilers, High Architect at the Sixty-two Exhibition, a devoted servant
Not to mention Head-Gardener at the Horticultural, Art-Elevator at the
At the last meeting of that most dilettante of all the dilettanti societies
of Royalty, and a kind relation. But now he is going to be a General.

the Society of Arts-he expounded his views on "the economy and efficiency of a national army." Ah, well! when our C.B. is made a Field-Marshal, and goes careering about on a charger-not a charger for the national expenditure on Science, Art, and COLES-may we be there to see-that's all! And won't we take our funniest artist with us.

Horrible.

where the stock pot stands is the most suspicious quarter of the CORDON BLEU wishes to know why that part of the kitchen-range lower regions? He also desires us to add-because there's the soupson (soupçon). Nothing but the fact that his cookery is so excellent would induce us to insert his joke.