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THE

NEW MONTHLY

MAGAZINE

AND

Humorist.

1844.

PART THE THIRD.

LONDON:

HENRY COLBURN, GREAT MARLBOROUGH ST.

SOLD BY ALL BOOKSELLERS.

C. WHITING, BEAUFORT HOUSE, STRAND.

THE

NEW MONTHLY MAGAZINE.

SOCIAL PIRACY;

OR, THE ROVINGS, ROAMINGS, MOTIONS, LOCOMOTIONS, PEREGRINATIONS, POUNCINGS, MANŒUVRES, AND MARAUDINGS, GREAT LARCENIES AND PETTY LARCENIES, OF MR. AND MRS. HAWKE AND THE YOUNG HAWKES.

Our flag's the sceptre all who meet obey.

THE CORSAIR.

CHAP. I.

On Land Pirates in General.

THERE is a piracy not of the high seas, and many a Paul Jones, and many a Lambro, who never boarded a prize or drew a cutlass. These are the corsairs of terra firma-of what the gentlemen of the fourth estate call the "social circle." What family has not felt the grievance of some marauding acquaintance or connexion, if not the heavier visitation of a storming-party of country cousins? In the spirit and morality of the piratical vocation, it makes no difference whatsoever whether it be prosecuted by water, or by land; on the waves of the Mediterranean, or in the squares of London. That of the Algerine is the less formidable of the two. The law of nations is with us, and we can send out an Exmouth with a squadron to bombard and destroy the hold of the robbers. But there is no law, statute or common, to put down cousins! There is no Algerine act to suppress the freebooters who pounce on our dinnertables, and the brigands that infest our bed-chambers. With reference to enemies of this description, it cannot be said with any pretension to truth, that

although the assertion,

Britannia wants no bulwarks,

Her home is on the deep,

is powerfully supported by the frequent occurrence of spunges (a marine production) in the various comfortable strata of English society. At least, if our homes are not " on the deep," full many a time have we cause to wish that they were so happily located. The land-pirates could not assail us there, however we might be exposed to the attacks of the "sea-attor neys." The captain of an English ship afloat sits down to dine in his cabin without the fear of any M. De Mangenville before his eyes. No unbidden and unwelcome guests make his brig or sloop "their own," and when he "turns in" for an hour's repose, he finds no impudent relation snoring in his hammock. Contrast the bliss of this state of security with the perils and dangers of the land, where, instead of living, we Sept.-VOL. LXXII. NO. CCLXXXV.

B

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