No one except the Widow ever really got at the straight of Bud's conduct, but it appeared that he left home to get a few Indian scalps, and that he came back for a little bacon and corn pone.

I simply mention the Widow in passing as an example of the fact that the time to do your worrying is when a thing is all over, and that the way to do it is to leave it to the neighbors. I sail for home to-morrow.

Your affectionate father,

JOHN GRAHAM.

FAREWELL

Provoked by Calverley's "Forever"

BY BERT LESTON TAYLOR

"Farewell!" Another gloomy word
As ever into language crept.
'Tis often written, never heard,
Except

In playhouse. Ere the hero flits—

In handcuffs-from our pitying view. "Farewell!" he murmurs, then exits R. U.

When, warned by chanticleer, you go From her to whom you owe devoir, "Say not 'good-by'," she laughs, “but 'Au Revoir!"

Thus from the garden are you sped;

And Juliet were the first to tell You, you were silly if you said "Farewell!"

"Farewell," meant long ago, before It crept, tear-spattered, into song, "Safe voyage!" "Pleasant journey!" or "So long!"

But gone its cheery, old-time ring;

The poets made it rhyme with knellJoined it became a dismal thing"Farewell!"

"Farewell!" into the lover's soul

You see Fate plunge the fatal iron.
All poets use it. It's the whole
Of Byron.

"I only feel-farewell!" said he;

And always fearful was the telling-
Lord Byron was eternally
Farewelling.

"Farewell!" A dismal word, 'tis true

(And why not tell the truth about it!); But what on earth would poets do

Without it?

MY RUTHERS

BY JAMES WHITCOMB RILEY

[Writ durin' State Fair at Indanoplis, whilse visitin' a Soninlaw then residin' thare, who has sence got back to the country whare he says a man that's raised thare ort to a-stayed in the first place.]

I tell you what I'd ruther do-
Ef I only had my ruthers,-
I'd ruther work when I wanted to
Than be bossed round by others;-
I'd ruther kindo' git the swing
O' what was needed, first, I jing!
Afore I swet at anything!-
Ef I only had my ruthers;-

In fact I'd aim to be the same

With all men as my brothers;
And they'd all be the same with me-
Ef I only had my ruthers.

I wouldn't likely know it all—

Ef I only had my ruthers;

I'd know some sense, and some base-ball-
Some old jokes, and-some others:

I'd know some politics, and 'low
Some tarif-speeches same as now,
Then go hear Nye on "Branes and How
To Detect Theyr Presence." T'others,
That stayed away, I'd let 'em stay-

All my dissentin' brothers

Could chuse as shore a kill er cuore,
Ef I only had my ruthers.

Vol. 5-12

The pore 'ud git theyr dues sometimes-
Ef I only had my ruthers,-
And be paid dollars 'stid o' dimes,

Fer childern, wives and mothers:

Theyr boy that slaves; theyr girl that sews—
Fer others—not herself, God knows!—
The grave's her only change of clothes!
Ef I only had my ruthers,

They'd all have "stuff" and time enugh
To answer one-another's
Appealin' prayer fer "lovin' care❞—
Ef I only had my ruthers.

They'd be few folks 'ud ast fer trust,
Ef I only had my ruthers,

And blame few business-men to bu'st
Theyrselves, er harts of others:

Big Guns that come here durin' Fair
Week could put up jest anywhare,
And find a full-and-plenty thare,

Ef I only had my ruthers:
The rich and great 'ud 'sociate

With all theyr lowly brothers, Feelin' we done the honorunEf I only had my ruthers.