they'd flock together. Who ever her-heard of a bird being such a f-fool as to g-go into a c-corner and floflock by himself? "I wo-wote you a letter thome That's a lie; he d-didn't wi-wite me time agoa letter. If he had witten me a letter he would have posted it, and I would have g-got it; so, of course, he didn't post it, and then he didn't wite it. Thath's easy. Oh, yeths, I thee: “but I dwopped it into the potht-potht-office forgetting to diwect it." I wonder who the d-dic-dickens got that letter. I wonder if the poth-pothman iths gwoin' awound inquiring for a f-fellow without a name. I wonder if there biths a f-fellow without any name. If there iths any fel-fellow without any name, how doeths he know who he iths himthelf? I-I wonder if thuch a fellow could get mawaid. How could he ask hiths wife to take hiths name if he h-had no name? Thath's one of thothse things no fellow can f-find out. "I have just made a startling dithcovery." Tham's alwayths d-doing thomthing. "I have dithcovered that my mother iths-that m-my mother ith not my m-mother; that a-the old nurse iths my m-mother, and that you are not my b-bwother, and a-tha-that I was changed at my birth." How c-can a fellow be changed at hith b-birth? If he iths not himthelf, who ith he? If Tham's m-mother iths not hith m-mother, and the nurthse iths hith mother, and Tham ithn't my bwother, who am I? That's one of thothse things that no fel-fellow can find out. “I have p-purchased an ethstate som-somewhere——” Dothn't the id-idiot know wh-where h-he has bought it? Oh, yeths: "on the bankths of the M-M-Mithithippi." Wh-who iths M-Mithithippi? I g-gueths ith's Tham's m-mother-in-l-law. Tham's got mawaid. He th-thayths he felt v-vewy ner-nervous. He alwayths wath a lucky fellow getting th-things he didn't want, and hadn't any use for. Thpeaking of mother-in-lawths, I had a fwiend who had a mother in-law, and he didn't like her pwetty well; and she f-felt the thame way towards him; and they went away on a st-steamer acwoths the ocean, and they got wecked, catht away on a waft, and they floated awound with their feet in the water and other amuthements, living on thuch things ath they could pick up-thardinths, ithcweam, owanges, and other c-canned goodths that were floating awound. When that waths all gone, everybody ate everybody else. F-finally only himthelf and hiths m-mother-in-law waths left, and they pl-played a game of c-cards to thee who thould be eaten up-himthelf or hith mother-in-law. A-a-the mother-in-law lotht. H-he treated her handthomely, only he strapped h-her flat on her back, and c-carved her gently. H-h-he thays that waths the f-first time that he ever weally enjoyed a m-mother-in-law.-American Cousin. Ꮓ ZEKLE. JAMES RUSSELL LOWELL. EKLE crep' up, quite unbeknown, An' peeked in thru the winder, Agin' the chimbly crooknecks hung, The ole queen's arm thet gran'ther Young The wannut logs shot sparkles out The very room, coz she was in, An' she looked full ez rosy agin She heerd a foot, an' knowed it, tu, All ways to once her feelin's flew He kin' o' l'itered on the mat, An' yet she gin her cheer a jerk, "You want to see my Pa, I s'pose?" "Wal, no; I come designin' "To see my Ma? She's sprinklin' clo'es Agin to-morrow's i'nin'." He stood a spell on one foot fust, Sez he, "I'd better call agin;" When Ma bimeby upon 'em slips, All kind o' smily round the lips Her blood riz quick, though, like the tide Down to the Bay o' Fundy, An' all I know is, they wuz cried AMONG THE "SPERRETS." ARTEMUS WARD. Y naburs is mourn harf crazy on the new MY fangled idears about Sperrets. Sperretooul Sircles is held nitely & 4 or 5 long hared fellers has settled here and gone into the sperret biznis excloosively. A atemt was made to git Mrs. A. Ward to embark into the Sperret biznis but the atemt faled. 1 of the long hared fellers told her she was a ethereal creeter & wood make a sweet mejium, whareupon she attact him with a mop handle & drove him out of the house. I will hear obsarve that Mrs. Ward is a invalerable womun-the partner of my gois & the shairer of my sorrers. In my absunce she watchis my interests & things with a Eagle Eye & when I return she welcums me in afectionate stile. Trooly it is with us as it was with Mr. & Mrs. INGOMER in the Play, to whit 2 soles with but a single thawt My naburs injooced me to attend a Sperretooul Sircle at Squire Smith's. When I arrove I found the east room chock full, includin all the old maids in the villige & the long hared fellers a4sed. When I went in I was salootid with "hear cums the benited man"-"hear cums the hory-heded unbeleever"— "hear cums the skoffer at trooth," etsettery, etsettery. Sez I, "my frens, it's troo I'm hear, & now bring on your Sperrets." 1 one of the long hared fellers riz up and sed he would state a few remarks. He sed man was a critter of intelleck & was movin on to a Gole. Sum men had bigger intellecks than other men had and they wood git to the Gole the soonerest. Sum men was beests & wood never git into the Gole at all. He sed the Erth was materiel but man was immateriel, and hens man was different from the Erth. The Erth, continnered the speeker, resolves round on its own axeltree onct in 24 hours, but as man haint gut no axeltree he cant resolve. He sed the ethereal essunce of the koordinate branchis of superhuman natur becum metty-morfussed as man progrest in harmonial coexistunce & eventooally anty humanized theirselves & turned into regular sperretuellers. [This was versifferusly applauded by the cumpany, and as I make it a pint to get along as pleasant as possible, I sung out "bully for you, old boy."] The cumpany then drew round the table and the Sircle kommenst to go it. They axed me if thare was anybody in the Sperret land which I wood like to convarse with. I sed if Bill Tompkins, who was onct my partner in the show biznis, was sober, I should like to convarse with him a few periods. "Is the Sperret of William Tompkins present?" sed 1 of the long hared chaps, and there was three knox on the table. Sez I, “William, how goze it, Old Sweetness?" "Pretty ruff, old hoss," he replide. That was a pleasant way we had of addressin each other when he was in the flesh. "Air you in the show biznis, William?" sed I. He sed he was. He sed he & John Bunyan was travelin with a side show in connection with Shakspere, Jonson & Co.'s Circus. He sed old Bun (meaning Mr. Bunyan) stired up the animils & ground the organ while he tended door. Occashunally Mr. Bunyan sung a comic song. The Circus was doin middlin well. Bill Shakspeer had made a grate hit with old Bob Ridley, and Ben Jonson was delitin the peple with his trooly grate ax of |