in that way for? It was a tornado-a regular cyclone-and it struck her and jammed her against the lightning-rod on the Baptist church-steeple; and there she stuck-stuck on that spire about eight hundred feet up in the air, and looked as if she had come there to stay."

"You may get just as mad as you like," said Mrs. Fogg, "but I am positively certain that steeple's not an inch over ninety-five feet.”

"Maria, I wish to gracious you'd go upstairs and look after the children.-Well, about half a minute after she struck, out stepped that tomcat onto the weathercock. It made Green sick. And just then the hurricane reached the weathercock, and it began to revolve six hundred or seven hundred times a minute, the cat howling until you couldn't hear yourself speak. Now, Maria, you've had your put; you keep quiet. That cat stayed on the weathercock

"Mr. Fog, that's an awful story; it only happened last Tuesday."

"Never mind her," said Mr. Fogg, confidentially. "And on Sunday the way that cat carried on and yowled, with its tail pointing due east, was so awful that they couldn't have church. And Sunday afternoon the preacher told Bradley if he didn't get that cat down he'd sue him for one million dollars damages. So Bradley got a gun and shot at the cat fourteen hundred times.-Now you didn't count 'em, Maria, and I did.-And he banged the top of the steeple all to splinters, and at last fetched down the cat, shot to rags; and in her stomach he found his thermometer. She'd ate it on her way up, and it stood at eleven hundred degrees, so old

"No thermometer ever stood at such a figure as that," exclaimed Mrs. Fogg.

"Oh, well," shouted Mr. Fogg, indignantly, “if you think you can tell the story better than I can, why

don't you tell it? You're enough to worry the life out of a man."

Then Fogg slammed the door and went out, and I left. I don't know whether Bradley got the stakes or not.

-Anon.

UPWARD AND ONWARD.

PAUL H. HAYNE.

IS the part of a coward to brood

TIS

O'er the past that is withered and dead;

What though the heart's roses are ashes and dust?

What though the heart's music be fled?

Still shine the grand heavens o'erhead,

When the voice of an angel thrills clear on the soul, "Gird about thee thine armor, press on to the goal!"

If the faults or the crimes of thy youth
Are a burden too heavy to bear,

What hope can rebloom on the desolate waste

Of a jealous and craven despair?

Down, down with the fetters of fear!

In the strength of thy valor and manhood arise, With the faith that illumes and the will that defies.

"Too late!" through God's infinite word,

From his throne to life's nethermost fires

"Too late!" is a phantom that flies at the dawn

Of the soul that repents and aspires.

If pure thou hast made thy desires,

There's no height the strong wings of immortals may

gain

Which in striving to reach thou shalt strive for in

vain.

Then up to the contest with fate,

Unbound by the past which is dead!

What though the heart's roses are ashes and dust?
What though the heart's music be fled?

Still shine the fair heavens o'erhead;

And sublime as the angel who rules in the sun

Beams the promise of peace when the conflict is won!

PETER SORGHUM IN LOVE.

ON

ALF. BURNETT.

NE day Sall fooled me; she heated the poker awful hot, then asked me to stir the fire. I seized hold of it mighty quick to oblige her, and dropped it quicker to oblige myself. Well, after the poker scrape, me and Sall only got on middlin' well for some time, till I made up my mind to pop the question, for I loved her harder every day, and I had an idee she loved me or had a sneaking kindness for me. But how to do the thing up nice and rite pestered me orful. I bought some love books, and read how the fellers git down onter their knees and talk like poets, and how the girls would gentlylike fall in love with them. But somehow or other that way didn't kinder suit my notion. I asked mam how she and dad courted, but she said it had been so long she had forgotten all about it. Uncle Jo said mam did all the courting.

At last I made up my mind to go it blind, for this thing was farely consumin' my mind; so I goes over to her dad's, and when I got there I sot like a fool, thinkin' how to begin. Sall seed somethin' was troublin' me, so she said, says she, "Ain't you sick, Peter?" She said this mity soft-like. "Yes! No!" sez I; "that is, I ain't zackly well; I thought I'd come over to-night," sez I. I tho't that was a mity purty beginnin'; so I tried agin. "Sall," sez I-and by this time I felt kinder faintly about the stommuck, and shaky about the knees-"Sall," sez I. "What?" sez she. "Sall," sez I agin. "What?" sez she. I'll get to it arter a while at this rate, thinks 1. "Peter," says she, "there's suthin' troublin' you; 'tis mighty wrong for you to keep it from a body, for an inard sorrer is a consumin' fire." She said this,

she did, the sly critter. She knowed what was the matter all the time mighty well, and was only tryin' to fish it out, but I was so far gone I couldn't see the point. At last I sorter gulped down the big lump a risin' in my throat, and sez I, sez I, “Sall, do you love anybody?" "Well," sez she, "there's dad and mam," and a countin' of her fingers all the time, with her eyes sorter shet like a fellar shootin' off a gun, "and there's old Pide (that were their old cow), and I can't think of anybody else just now," says she. Now, this was orful for a feller ded in love; so arter a while I tried another shute. Sez I, "Sall," sez I, "I'm powerful lonesome at home, and sometimes think if I only had a nice pretty wife, to love and talk to, move, and have my bein' with, I'd be a tremendous feller." Sez I, "Sall, do you know any gal would keer for me?" With that she begins, and names over all the gals for five miles around, and never once came nigh naming of herself, and sed I oughter git one of them. This sorter got my dander up, so I hitched my cheer up close to her, and shet my eyes and sed, "Sal, you are the very gal I've been hankering arter for a long time. I luv you all over, from the sole of your head to the crown of your foot, and I don't care who nos it, and if you say so we'll be jined together in the holy bonds of hemlock, Epluribusunum, world without end amen!" sez I; and then I felt like I'd throwed up an alligator, I felt so relieved. With that she fetched a sorter screem, and arter a while sez, sez she, "Peter!" "What, Sally?" sez I. "Yes!" sez she, a hidin' of her face behind her hands. You bet a heap I felt good. "Glory! glory!" sez I, “I must holler, Sall, or I shall bust. Hooray for hooray! I can jump over a ten-rail fence!" With that I sot rite down by her and clinched the bargain with a kiss. Talk about your blackberry jam; talk about your sugar and mellasses; you wouldn't a got me nigh 'em-they

would all a been sour arter that. Oh, these gals! how good and bad, how high and low they do make a feller feel! If Sall's daddy hadn't sung out 'twas time all honest folks was abed, I'd a sot there two hours longer. You oughter have seen me when I got home! I pulled dad out of bed and hugged him! I pulled mam out of bed and hugged her! I pulled aunt Jane out of bed and hugged her. I larfed and hollered, crowed like a rooster, danced round there, and cut up more capers than you ever heerd tell on, till dad thought I was crazy, and got a rope to tie me with. "Dad," sez I, "I'm goin' to be married!" "Married!" bawled dad. "Married!" squalled mam. "Married!" screamed aunt Jane. "Yes, married," sez I; "married all over, married for sure, married like a flash-joined in wedlock, hooked on for life, for worser or for better, for life and for death-to Sall! I am that very thing—me! Peter Sorghum, Esquire!"

With that I ups and tells 'em all about it from Alfer to Ermeger! They was all mighty well pleased, and I went to bed as proud as a young rooster with his first spurs.

GETTING READY FOR MEETIN'.

WHE

SARAH MCLEAN GREENE.

HEN the ancient couple made their appearance, I remarked silently, in regard to Grandma Keeler's hair, what proved afterward to be its usual holiday morning arrangement. It was confined in six infinitesimal braids, which appeared to be sprouting out perpendicularly in all directions from her head. The effect of redundancy and expansiveness thus heightened and increased on Grandma's features was striking in the extreme.