Away she hurried to Our Lady's Chapel,
Full-handed with two tapers,

And prayed, as she had never prayed before,
To be a bona fide wife once more.

"O Holy Virgin! listen to my prayer!
And for sweet mercy, and thy sex's sake,
Accept the vows and offerings I make:
Others set up one light, but here's a pair !”

Her prayer, it seemed, was heard;
For in three little weeks, exactly reckoned,
As blithe as any bird,

She stood before the Priest with Hans the Second ;-
A fact that made her gratitude so hearty,

To "Unser Frow," and her propitious shrine,

She sent two waxen candles superfine,
Long enough for a Lapland evening party!

Rich was the Wedding Feast and rare ;
What sausages were there!

Of sweets and sours there was a perfect glut:
With plenteous liquors to wash down good cheer;
Brantwein, and Rhum, Kirsch-wasser, and Krug Bier,
And wine so sharp that every one was cut.
Rare was the feast, but rarer was the quality
Of mirth, of smoky-joke, and song, and toast, -
When just in all the middle of their jollity,
With bumpers filled to Hostess and to Host,
And all the unborn branches of their house,
Unwelcome and unasked, like Banquo's Ghost,
In walked the long-lost Spouse!

What pen could ever paint

The hubbub when the Hubs were thus confronted!

The bridesmaids fitfully began to faint;

The bridesmen stared: some whistled, and some grunted:
Fierce Hans the First looked like a boar that's hunted;
Poor Hans the Second like a suckling calf:

Meanwhile, confounded by the double miracle,
The twofold bride sobbed out, with tears hysterical,
"O Holy Virgin! you're too good-by half!"

MORAL.

Ye Coblentz maids, take warning by the rhyme,
And as our Christian laws forbid polygamy,
For fear of bigamy,

Only light up one taper at a time.

DEAR BECKY,

TO REBECCA PAGE.

At long and at last here we be at Coblinse. It's a bewtiful Citty and well sekured all round with fortifide stone walls with eyelet holes to shoot thro, besides being under the purtection. of a grate Castel on the other side of the river, as can batter the town all to bits in a minit. I thoght as well to rite and let you no we have took loggings here for a munth, but by wats to do it will be ni a fortnite afore we are domestically setteld. Missus has hired a Gurmin Maid to assist her name is Catshins witch stands for Kitty and she can talk bad inglish perfickly. As a feller servent she is companionble and good humerd enuff, but dredful slow and dull headed. Wat do you think she did this blessid morning? Why kivered a panful of skalding hot milk with the plate as held the fresh lump, witch in coarse soon run into meltid butter ! But in sich dilemmys she hunches up ony her sholders to her ears and "hish vise nit," and theres an end. Howsumever she 's very obleeging and yuseful to me in my new religun, such as teachin me to cross meself the rite way and wat I'm to do when I'm in a high Mess. I have practist fasting a littel by leaving off lunchis but Lord nose wat I'm to do on the Fish Days for theres nothink but stockfish and cabbel yaw. But won comfort is if it don't come too hi for my pockit the Bishup will sell me a dispensary.

says

Between you and me I am going this evening to Virgen Mary's Chapel for if so be you present a wax candle at her, and pray with all yure hart and sole, they do say yure as shure of a Bo, as if you had him in yure hone pantry. Any hows its wurth the trial; Besides the hole town is chuck full

of officers and milentary agin the Grate Sham Fites and Skrimmages, and as Mirakels don't stick at trifles who nose but I may be Missis Capting? But I hear Missus Bell.

Last nite the Germins being very parshal to dancing I went along with Catshins Cosen to a Grand Ball. There was moor than abuv a hunderd of us in won Assembly room, but am sorry to say smoaking was aloud, witch quite spiled the genteel. Catshins Cosen asked me to dance and seeing several steddy lookin elderly women, jest such sober boddies as our Cook or Housekeeper standing up I made bold to accept, when all at once the music struck up and my Partner ketching me by the waste, willy nilly, away we went on one leg spinning like pegtops and wirligiggin at such a rate I'm shure if my pore brains had been made of cream they would have turned into butter! All I could do was to skreek at the tip-top of my voice, but noboddy minded so I broke loose out of the ring and set meself down on the flore jest like frog in the middle, wile the rest waltzed round and round me steddy elderly boddies and all — but it was sich a constant wirlin and twirlin the very room seemed running round and my head begun to swim so I was obleeged to lay down flat on my back and shut both my eyes. To add to my suffrings, afore going to the Ball I had my hair dressed by a reglar dresser, who drew it up alla Chinese, and tied it so tite atop that after gettin more and more paneful every minit I felt at last like being scollupt by a Tommy Hawkin wild Ingian! Howsumever, when the dance was over, my Partner cum and pickt me up and refreshed me with a glass of sumthing verry nasty, called snaps, but what with the frite and the giddiness and my headake and the snaps and the fumes of the filthy tobacher I was took with a faintness, and afore I could be assisted out of the asembly room, I was as sick saving yure presence as a dog. That spiled me a good gownd allmost new besides loosing my best hankicher in the bussle; but I must n't grudge the xpense, considring us sarvents don't often get a nite's pleasure. Now I must brake off agin but it is n't Missus this time Catshins wanting to teach me my beeds.

but

Catshins sister has jest cum in with her babby. I do wish you could see it—such a littel figger rolled and twistid up like a gipsian mummy! The wust is of sich tite swadling if so be you don't put their pore little lims into the bandages quite strate, it follers to reason they will come out crookid witch I supose is the way theres so many bandy boys about

A CHRYSALIS.

the streets for I never see so menny rickitty objex in my born days. Why its called the Inglish Krankite by the Gurmins is best none to theirselves; but I will say for the Kentish babbies they are well nust and strate in their legs, and whats more a Kentish woman would n't let her littel boys run about all unbuttond behind like so many Giddy Giddy Gouts, just as if they had no mother to look after them.

Catshins sister says there has been a shockin axident this morning in our naberhood. The climing boys in this town are grown up men instead of littel urchings as about Lonnon. Well, one of the men was sent for, to sweep a chimbly built up after the Inglish fashion, when by sum piece of bad luck or

stupid-headness a fire was lited under him and down he came tumbling quite stiffled and sufocated with the smoak. So a Doctor was fetched in a hurry, and the moment he clapt eyes on the pore sutty object, wat in the wurld Becky do you think he said! "O, says he, I can do nothing for him - he 's black in the face!" To be sure a Doctor knows best for my part I never saw a chimbly sweep's face of any other culler!

but

Oh Becky, I've had such a flustration! After asking Missus for an hour or so for going out in the evening I was jest on my road to the chappel I told you of, when afore I knowed where I was I almost ran full butt agin Mr. Frank. What becum of my bewtiful wax candle, wether I chuckt it away or yung Master took it out of my hand, I know no moor then the man in the moon I was in such a quandary. I verily beleave I run all the way home without feeling the ground! As yet Missus has n't said a word; but I think by way of preventive I shall give her warning. My nerves is too quivering to rite furder, xcept luve to all kind frends at Woodlands; I remane, dear Becky, yure luving frend for ever and ever, MARTHA PENNY.

Ι

WORSTORINE.