SIM. May I be fo bold to fay fo, fir?
FAL. Ay, fir Tike; who more bold?

SIM. I thank your worship: I fhall make my mafter glad with these tidings. [Exit SIMPLE. Host. Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, fir John : Was there a wife woman with thee?

FAL. Ay, that there was, mine hoft; one, that hath taught me more wit than ever I learn'd before in my life: and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my learning.

Enter BARDOLPH.

BARD. Out, alas, fir! cozenage! meer cozenage! HOST. Where be my horfes? fpeak well of them, varletto. BARD. Run away with the cozeners: for fo foon as I came beyond Eton, they threw me off, from behind one of them, in a flough of mire; and fet fpurs, and away, like three German devils, three Doctor Faustuses.

HOST. They are gone but to meet the duke, villain : do not fay, they be fled; Germans are honest men. Enter Sir HUGH EVANS.

EVA. Where is mine hoft?

HOST. What is the matter, fir?

EVA. Have a care of your entertainments: there is a friend of mine come to town, tells me, there is three couzin germans, that has cozen'd all the hosts of Readings, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and money. I tell I tell you for good-will, look you you are wife, and full of gibes and vlouting-ftogs; and 'tis not convenient you fhould be cozen'd: Fare you well.

Enter CAIUS.

CAIUS. Vere is mine Hoft de farterre.

[Exit.

HOST. Here, mafter doctor, in perplexity, and doubt.

ful dilemma.

CAIUS. I cannot tell vat is dat : But it is tell-a me, dat you make grand preparation for a duke de Farmany: by my trot, dere is no duke, dat the court is know to come: I tell you for good vill: adieu. [Exit. HOST. Hue and cry, villain, go:-affist me, knight; I am undone :-fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I am undone! [Exeunt Host and BARDOLPH. FAL. I would, all the world might be cozen'd; for I have been cozen'd, and beaten too. If it fhould come to the ear of the court, how I have been transform'd, and how my transformation hath been wash'd and cudgel'd, they would melt me out of my fat, drop by drop, and liquor fishermen's boots with me; I warrant, they would whip me with their fine wits, till I were as crestfallen as a dried pear. I never profper'd fince I forefwore myself at Primero. Well, if my wind were but long enough to fay my prayers, I would repent.—

Enter Mrs. QUICKLY.

Now! whence come you?

QUICK. From the two parties, forfooth.

FAL. The devil take one party, and his dam the other, and fo they shall be both bestow'd! I have fuffer'd more for their fakes, more, than the villainous inconftancy of man's difpofition is able to bear.

QUICK. And have not they suffer'd? Yes, I warrant ; fpeciously one of them; mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten black and blue, that you cannot fee a white spot

about her.

FAL. What tell'ft thou me of black and blue? I was beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow; and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brentford; but that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the action of an old woman, deliver'd me,

the

knave constable had fet me i' the ftocks, i' the common ftocks, for a witch.

QUICK. Sir, let me fpeak with you in your chamber: you shall hear how things go; and I warrant, to your content. Here is a letter will fay fomewhat. Good hearts, what ado here is to bring you together! Sure, one of you does not ferve heaven well, that you are fo crofs'd.

FAL. Come up into my chamber.

[Exeunt.

SCENE VI. Another Room in the Garter Inn.

Enter FENTON and HOST.

HOST. Mafter Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy, I will give over all.

FENT. Yet hear me fpeak: Affift me in my purpose, And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee

A hundred pound in gold, more than your lofs.

HOST. I will hear you, mafter Fenton; and I will, at the least, keep your counsel.

FENT. From time to time I have acquainted you
With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page;
Who, mutually, hath anfwer'd my affection
(So far forth as herself might be her choofer,)
Even to my wifh: I have a letter from her
Of fuch contents as you will wonder at;
The mirth whereof fo larded with my matter,
That neither, fingly, can be manifefted,
Without the fhow of both;-wherein fat Falstaff
Hath a great scene: the image of the jest

[Showing the letter.
I'll fhow you here at large. Hark, good mine host:
To-night at Herne's oak, juft 'twixt twelve and one,
Muft my sweet Nan prefent the fairy queen;

The purpose why, is here; in which disguise,
While other jefts are fomething rank on foot,
Her father hath commanded her to flip
Away with Slender, and with him at Eton
Immediately to marry: fhe hath confented:
Now, fir,

Her mother, even strong against that match,
And firm for Doctor Caius, hath appointed
That he shall likewife fhuffle her away,
While other sports are tasking of their minds,
And at the deanery, where a priest attends,
Straight marry her to this her mother's plot
She, feemingly obedient, likewife hath
Made promise to the doctor :-Now, thus it refts;
Her father means fhe fhall be all in white;
And in that habit, when Slender fees his time
To take her by the hand, and bid her go,

She shall go with him :-her mother hath intended,
The better to denote her to the doctor,

(For they must all be mafk'd and vizarded,)
That, quaint in green, fhe fhall be loose enrob'd,
With ribbands pendant, flaring 'bout her head;
And when the doctor fpies his vantage ripe,
To pinch her by the hand, and, on that token,
The maid hath given confent to go with him.

HOST. Which means the to deceive? father or mother? FENT. Both, my good hoft, to go along with me: And here it refts,-that you'll procure the vicar To stay for me at church, 'twixt twelve and one, And, in the lawful name of marrying,

To give our hearts united ceremony.

HOST. Well, husband your device; I'll to the vicar: Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest.

FENT. So fhall I evermore be bound to thee;

Befides, I'll make a prefent recompence.

ACT V.

SCENE I. A Room in the Garter Inn.
Enter FALSTAFF and Mrs. QUICKLY.

[Exeunt.

I'll hold :

FAL. Pr'ythee, no more prattling ;—go. This is the third time; I hope, good luck lies in odd numbers. Away, go; they fay, there is divinity in odd numbers, either in nativity, chance, or death.-Away.

QUICK. I'll provide you a chain; and I'll do what I can to get you a pair of horns.

FAL. Away, I fay; time wears: hold up your head, and mince. [Exit Mrs. QUICKLY.

Enter FORD.

How now, mafter Brook? Master Brook, the matter will be known to-night, or never. Be you in the park about midnight, at Herne's oak, and you fhall fee wonders.

FORD. Went you not to her yesterday, fir, as you told me you had appointed.

FAL. I went to her, mafter Brook, as you fee, like a poor old man: but I came from her, master Brook, like a poor old woman. That fame knave, Ford her hufband, hath the finest mad devil of jealousy in him, mafter Brook, that ever govern'd frenzy. I will tell you.He beat me grievously, in the shape of a woman; for in the shape of man, master Brook, I fear not Goliah with a weaver's beam; because I know alfo, life is a fhuttle. I am in hafte; go along with me; I'll tell you all, mafter Brook. Since I plucked geefe, played truant, and whipped top, I knew not what it was to be beaten, till lately. Follow me: I'll tell you ftrange things of this