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DOUBLE ACROSTIC.

No. 10.
Came a pleasant June day,

And it strayed into May,
The pleasance was fragrant with summer :

În the heat of the town

Lo! the trees stoop'd adown
To welcome the sunny new-comer.

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1.
Where hedgerows get fresh verdure from the spring,

The village children often stray to find it;
The bird sweeps by upon a lusty wing,
And seldom leaves it very long behind it.

2.
Eastward over all the seas,

Where the Trade winds sweep,
Sails the ship before the breeze,

Onward o'er the deep :
Till she sights the harbour-bar,

And the town shows fair;
“Foreign Devils” from afar
So they call us there.

3.
There was never fairer lady,

And he lowly bent him there,
Where the garden pots were shady,

Till she gazed on his back hair.
And he promised to adore her,

At the granting of a kiss,
While he murmured soft before her
One small word, and it was this.

4.
It stands afar with fear upon its features,
More frightened than all other horned creatures.

A HALF-MEASURE.

SCENE.—Church. Time.—Litany.
Master Tom (who has been promised a penny if he is good during service) : _“I
8AY, MA,- -I8 IT HALF OVER YET?"

Mamma :-“YB8, DEAR!"
Master Tom : -"THEN GIVE]U8 A HALFPENNY!”

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PARIS PENCILLINGS.

Attired thus, I wend my way towards the Louvre. On arriving,

the first thing to do is to look about for a good easel and carpet that BOHEMIA-IN-PARIS.

have been carefully put away by somebody else. If you can't find one, DEAR SIR, -According to your wish that I should keep my eye on lay hands on stool, easel, and carpet of some poor wretch who has the British Tourist in Paris, I beg to state that I have had only too gone to déjeuner, and bear them off bodily to your place. When, on his many opportunities of studying him. I am at present copying in the return, he finds the whole paraphernalia disappeared, he can't accuse Louvre, where he most doth congregate. He comes in swarms and you, as in all probability he procured them in the same manner. One settles round your easel—stands in your light--criticizes your work- plan is to paint your initials in large and conspicuous characters on makes remarks on your attire, &c.—upsets your turpentine and both easel and stool, but as nearly all the students practise this, some vanishes! You will naturally ask, “Do these people not see you are difficulty might arise as to who was the lawful owner. I will just give English, that they so coolly criticize you? One would think that if they you an idea of a quiet morning's work. 'put this and that together they would not pull you to pieces.” No; Supposing I have just begun in charcoal. Enter to me English the beauty of it is they don't recognise the elegant and refined Potts family—pa, ma, two daughters, and one son. The pa is clerical, in the person of a brigand in a felt hat and Wellington boots! Again, chokery, pompous, portly, and portwiney. The ma, sharp, strict, Sun. you will ask, “Why have you adopted this eccentric costume ?" Sir, day-schoolish, and souptickety. The daughters, pink, proper, booky, it is for the very reason of not wishing to appear eccentric, or to look and bread-and-buttery: The son, fourteen, fat and freckly, with a peculiar, that I have adopted it. Living in the society of Parisian tall hat and short jacket. All crowd round. Pa clears his throat, students it would never do to dress like a rational being. Were I to and commences a long jobation on painting in general, from the early wear my hair a decent length I should be the laughing stock of a ages down to the present time. All listen attentively except puffy son, whole atelier—did they but know I ever combed it, I should be scouted who is staring hard at a stout lady with a fish's tail in one of Rubens' from all Beaux Arts society.

pictures. He is reprimanded for not paying attention, and pa conMy beard (hem!) I have let grow wherever it will. (Do you laugh tinues. He informs them that this person (meaning me, Sir) is copy. at our beard ?) An immense Rubenesque sombrero hat is stuck jauntily ing a Titian (it being a Rembrandt), “ a painter that was much thonght in my mouth, and a clay pipe is thrown carelessly on the side of my of in his time,” though he (pa) must confess that his (Titian's) colour head. (There is some mistake in the foregoing—please correct.) My always struck him as being earthy." Eldest daughter asks why the coat is seedy on the outside, the lining is dying a natural death on the "person” is “doing it ” all in black (I have just commenced in charinside ; it is torn in several places, for, unlike the old gentleman in coal). Js informed by pa that this is the great fault of the French MILLAI8' picture, my time is not much taken up in “sewing tears." school. They were “ too gritty.Youngest daughter gushingly. deMy boots I wear over my trousers. I have adopted a sort of slangy, clares that seeing pictures always made her die to be an artist. Is reshuffling gait

. I carry a large wooden paint-box, and I sing popular proved by ma, who says that having had lessons at school, that was melodies when walking in the street, which singing consists of a all “any young lady could desire.' “But, then,” argues daughter chronic“yodel" like a hobbledeboy's voice in a transition state. No. 2; "I only did heads and landscapes, and easy things like thet.” “And quite enough too, HENRIETTA !" is ma's reply. I thought

A MILL-ODY. so, too. Puffy son asks why artists “dress so jolly rum ?" Another long harangue from pa on artists in general, and French ones in par

Sweet maid, with regal browticular, together with a novel and highly entertaining description of

And golden hairstudents and their ways of living.

Eyes that the skies with their own blue endow, Taking this young man as an example," he observes, “I have no

Oh, fair-so fair! doubt but that he is of the lowest extraction. Perchance a mere

Permit thy poet thus to pen a verse on peasant from the South of France. He comes to Paris-he is thrown

Thee-whom the Legislature styles a "person." into a whirlpool of gaiety and pleasure-he grows careless, and moustachios, and by degrees sinks lower and lower until he can

Delight of this fond heart, scarcely scrape a few sous together by exercising his profession."

Oh, beauty rare ! At this juncture I draw from my pocket a small publication. On un

Worshipped by artfulness as well as Art, folding it I display in large letters on the title-page, FUN, and with a

Oh, fair-so fair! sweet smile that is all my own, I fix my cold grey eye on the quartette

M. P.'s, as well as painters, anxious be, around me, and sing softly, “ Paddle your own canoe." The effect is

Upon their canvases to set down thee! miraculous. They fly! and I am left-not alone though, for a newlymarried couple have taken their place; they are being dragged about

Speak, empress of my breast,

And tell, oh, tell by a guide. The gentleman gapes the whole time, and the lady, being

Wilt thou accept the love I have confest an amateur artist, is severe in her remarks. I am no sooner released

Too well-too well ? from them than a party of Cook's excursionists come up; and so on

Dost thou sufficiently upon me doat throughout the whole day. I overheard a conversation in the BONAPARTE room the other day.

To wed me—and to sacrifice thy vote ? Brown and Jones were gazing with reverence at the cocked hat, &c., of the late emperor. Says SMITH (half speaking to Brown and half

A New Dodge. to himself), "To think that that hat has been worn on the head of the great Napi" "Then,” says Brown, interrupting his friend's reverie, fused the other day to tell the public anything about the Society of

The example set by the art-critic of the Daily Telegraph who re* Then I suppose that accounts for the Nap being worn off the great British Artists because he considered there was not a picture worth hat, eh!" Feeling unwell, I left.

Yours,

looking at, is being conscientiously followed. The following paragraph PAINT POTTS. appears in the Little Times, a penny sheet supposed to contain scraps

of news : 'TWAS EVER THUS.

La France of to-day furnishes us with a programme of the movements of the

Sovereigns. It is too long for our short columns, though no doubt to many of our I NEVER reared a young gazelle

readers it would be wonderfully interesting." (Because, you see, I never tried);

Thank you for nothing, most worthy sub-editor of the Little But, had it known and loved me well,

Times. After this we ought not to be surprised at seeing something No doubt the creature would have died.

to the following effect in a newspaper :-“ Yesterday the Judge OrdiMy rich and aged uncle JOHN

nary was employed in trying one of the most extraordinary divorce Has known me long and loves me well,

cases that has ever come before him, but as it will no doubt be too exBut still persists in living on

citing for our readers we will say no more about it.”
I would he were a young gazelle !
I never loved a tree or flow'r;

THE MARCH OF INTELLECT, — A Field-day with the “Inns of

Court.".
But, if I had, I beg to say,
The blight, the wind, the sun or show'r,
Would soon have withered it away.

Answers to Correspondents.
I've dearly loved my uncle Joux,

From childhood till the present hour
And yet he will go living on-

[We cannot return rejected MSS. or sketches unless they are decom

panied by a stamped and directed onvelope.] I would he were a tree or flow'r!

F. W., Bristol.-We don't see the point of the communication.

R. T., Liverpool.-Was done some weeks ago in Fun.
A Notification.

SOAPSUDS. - Won't wash.

T. J., Wood-green.-But we don't think the publio would grin too. "A FRIENDLY Lead will shortly be given to JEM WILKINSON, who is “No. 1, ROUND THE CORNER."—We suppose the joke is there too, for at present in trouble, but expects to get his ticket daily. It is hoped we can't see it. all who knew him in brighter days will lend him a helping hand. For E. C., Ipswich-In this instance, despite the old saying, E. C. does not tickets, and further particulars, apply to the landlord of the Weather- do it. cock Tavern, Printing-house-square.”

R. N., Denbigh-street.-We don't see your drift.

A CONSTANT READER.—You will find a similar joke in an early volumu

of Fun. Rhyme and Reason.

R., Dock Office, Liverpool.-Done in Fux ages ago.

J. H, C.-We shall see. A.CORRESPONDENT, who has so far mistaken his vocation as to send us a copy of verses, says, "I have a cousin (thrice removed) who keeps any copy attached.

C. L.—The paragraph was sent us by another correspondent-without a shop in Lambeth, which must be my apology for all false quantities." TEASER.-Not quite, this time.

A SCOTCH READER.--Many thanks.
Home Affairs.

NEW-CBOSS.—Thanks for the suggestion, but it is of no use.

A CRIB BITER.-Unfortunately we don't see the Bucks Herald, and so The next Bill for a Mill-One for the Misrepresentation of the were not aware of your article. people.

COUNTRY COUSIN will find what he requires in our numbers every week. Married ladies will continue to superintend the private business of J. H., Hastings. Our letter was not attended to. the House.

M. S. P., Montroso.—Too late.

COMET. —Thanks. We did not detect the erratic appearance.
Mis-reported.

CERBERN will find his rejection in our back numbers.
It is stated, in the accounts of the recent Royal Academy dinner,

Declined with thanks—W. P., Wimbledon ; Sigma; H. H., Nottingthat the Chancellor of the Exchequer observed, “I look upon this room hill; Rodolph; W.0., Liverpool; W. Ş., Birmingham; E. L., Salisburyas the Mecca of Society.” What he really said was, “ I look upon lingford; 1. R. R., Edinburgh; C.'G. A.; H. W: S.; F. W. H., Bel

street; Scotchman; U. Q., ; Adelphi; J. H. T., Dublin; W. Þ.T., Walthis banquet as Me-dina."

grave-road; T. M., Dublin; "A man wot suffered ;" R. L. P., Darlington;

Machinist; L. B. E.. City; E. H. R.; H. S.J.; A. B., Manchester; A Modiste Note.

E. W. L.; J. W; A Reformer; A. H., Newbury; H. Belgrave-road; Yorxg ladies, as a rule, look so killing in pork-pie hats that they M. D.; H. C., Erith; R. M. O.; É.

E. G., Putney; A. L. B.; A Devotee may be said to be armed cap-à-pie.

W. G. I., Islington ; R. W., Manchester; Contra; P. G., Junior; X;
W. T., Bayswater; D. I., Bridgewater ; J. F.; R. F. B., South Belgravia;

H. T. M., Waterloo; S. F., Bristol ; “ Veretas;" J. P., Camberwell; R.
Musical.

H., Glasgow; R. B. B., Westminster; J. W. S., Dublin; Tig; W. W., The last novelty in the Ethiopian melody line is “Black Hide Susan.” Stafford ; J. P., juror, Whitehaven; A. Z.; Daphne.

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GREENWICH PARK.

country delight in disporting. There is a hill crowned by one tree

(Arbor sola). Down the sides of this eminence the young people run, BY A REID-ER.

hand-in-hand. The pastime is rough, and not without danger, as is LAND of the whitebait and the punch, I know thee well! _Oft from the case with many of the amusements of savages. At one time an thy green slopes have I gazed upon the Thames, the Father of annual gathering took place here, entitled the Fair, at which the Waters, flowing seaward with his freight of penny steamers and other wildest orgies were the order of the day. It has, however, fallen into craft. Before me lay the Isle of Dogs, from Barking to the Bight of desuetude of late years, owing, possibly, to the spread of missionaries Limehouse. The Isle of Dogs, intersected with kennels—I mean and civilization. canals! Land of the water-rush (Impetus aquaticus) and the quag- Another relic of the past, now consigned to oblivion, is the Penmire, well do I know thee! The pleasant land of Greenwich is sioner (Sal retus) who used to frequent the scene. All the old braves, divided into two districts—the highlands and the lowlands. In the who had defended their country on the sea, were sent to live in a large former the traveller finds that the whitebait (Album beatum) forms building, where they were supplied with wooden legs (and very little the staple of food. With this the inhabitants consume a species of else), and sent into the park, to inspire patriotic sentiments in the fire-water, the general effects of which may be described briefly as a bosoms of the boys of the country. They earned a precarious living headache next morning. Feasts are continually going on at large and an occasional screw of tobacco (Nicotiana fumabilis) by lending out caravanserai overlooking the river. They would seem to form a sort long tubes through which they alleged the visitor could survey the of religious ceremony, the guests sitting down and feeding with great surrounding country, and by telling long and highly-coloured stories solemnity, under the superintendence of grave functionaries, attired in of their experiences. The tales were known locally as “bangers," a the costume of the sacerdotal order. As is the custom with savage word probably derived from a native verb signifying “to make a nations, the ceremony, as a rule, winds up in a wild manner.

report.” In the lowlands the white bait is replaced by a small crustacean, the Land of the brown breaded whitebait and the iced punch, of the g'rimp (Lobsterus parvulus). This is eaten in large quantities with a crisp and to-be-deftly picked s'rimp, and the mild and innocuous tea, beverage formed by the decoction of leaves from a native plant, the I am tolerably well acquainted with thee ! Tardus communis, or common sloe. When prepared, this drink is entitled “ tee,” and is consumed with avidity by the natives. Inscrip

Land of the iced whitebait and brown-breaded punch, of the deftly. tions are frequently met with on the shutters of the houses, and have be-packed tea, mild 'nocuous s'rimp! I have visi—revisited thee, with hospitality to the passer-by-offers ranging from the munificence of tole'bly good speaking trumpets-should say speaking terms, with “ tea and s'rimps may be had here,” to the comparative parsimony of both of you. Hic! "parties supplied with hot water." The presiding genius of the tea and s’rimp house is in most cases an elderly female. These females are seldom beautiful, and their honesty, as is frequently to be observed

Pers(ano)evering. among savages, is not above suspicion.

Why was it that ADMIRAL Persano declined to expose himself to | A green and undulating woodland forms the background of the scene danger at the battle of Lissa? Because he preferred keeping " Mens I have been depicting. In its centre stands a strange building called sana in corpore Per-sano." the Observatory, and described by the natives as the central spot of the world, or “ Latitude Nothing.” This belief in an omphalus of the globe would seem to indicate descent from the Greeks.

9 "FUN" may be obtained in Paris every Wednesday of MBSSRS, On the pleasant sward (Herba viridis) of this region the youth of the KIRKLAND AND Co., No. 27, Rue de Richelieu. London : Printed by JUDD & GLASS, Phænix Works, St. Andrew's Hiu, Doctors' Commons, and Published (for the Proprietor) by W. ALDER, at 80, Flees-street, E.C.

May 18, 1867.

would say,

sherry. When the “old man " visits Sheerness again, let him ignore his ungrateful Отгон,

friend of former days, whose reception so annoyed him, and send in his card to the E. K. A., do. We will gladly introduoe him to a bottle of “Pale" or “Golden." that shall merit a character many degrees above “beastly.". Moreover, we will show him that the Sheerness of the present day is a very different locality to the Sheerness of fifty years ago, and that a very enjoyable day, especially in summer weather, may be spent in strolling along the Sheppy Beach.

It appears to us that the reason “ a very large section of our fellow-countrymen at a distance " view Sheerness as such a "one horse" sort of a place, as a Yankee

is to be found in the fact, which we pointed out recently, that no step has ever been taken by the inhabitants to bring its real merits before public notice."

Well, Sir, I dare say as the Sheerness Guardicom is quite right; and thon, h ho do not catch me, not at the Prophet's present period, awalking along Shoppy Beach, yet I am glad as he have made things pleasant. But, Sir, there is a old cove in the same paper, which he actually signs hisself “The Writer of the Article on the Luxembourg Question," and than whom a more wicious old public journalist never tried to ruin a humble Prophet. This old cock, Sir, if such he may be Galled, is very angry because I said his literary style was exactly like

mine, which it is, but he do not see the compliment. He imagines as SPORTING INTELLIGENCE.

I said as he was ungrammatical, whereas what I really said was that

he wrote exactly like your Prophet. I ain't ungrammatical, am I? NICHOLAS IX BUSINE6S For HIMSELF.

Just let this wicious old man, however, speak for himself, verbatim et The ORIENTAL REPOSITORY, HORSELAYDOWN.

literatim. My Dear Young FRIEND,—To all those which may havo inquired, the sentence to which he has taken an exception, he will recognise his own igno

"If the contributer to Fun will only get some charity schoolboy to parse for him some of them individuously, and others in the spirit of a brother man, rance, and perhaps excuse us for surmising that he writes in the stupid style he has concerning of my present locus in quo you are now in a position to adopted because of is incapacity to use any other." rep!y that I may be found at the abovo address, where all the chief Now, look here; I ain't a-going for to stand it! If the "Writer of the periodicals of the day are on sale, and tho Times lent to read. I was Article on the Luxembourg Question" will only get some charity schoolabsent from your cheerful columns last week, it is true; but, my dear boy (standing him a drink) to spell for him the sentence which I have young Friend, your classic lore will remind you as Rome was not just quoted, he will recognise his own ignorance, and perhaps excuse built in a day, nor yet was the Oriental Repository, which I had to me for surmising that when he spells “contributer" with a "e" take it with some of the old stock, and between ourselves it has got a instead of a “0," and "is” incapacity instead of “his " incapacity, he bad name, or they would not let me have it cheap. Your artist, writes in the stupid style he has adopted because he don't know no however-than whom a more respectable young man for his position better authorgraphy nor yet no better sintacks. There let him lay. I in life, and I wish I had had something better on the premises at the have advertised him gratis, and as he do not seem obliged to me I will moment than half of a bottle of stout which, I am afraid, as it was a little not do so again. Never no more, ye E. K. A. A. S. S. A. F. G. turned with the hot weather—your artist, Sir, will tell you that

CHAPTER THE THIRD. THE DERBY OF 1867. NICHOLAS, who was once the glass of fashion, the mould of form, and the cynicrure of neighbouring eyes, is quietly converted into an honest From the spirited delineation, Sir, given by your Artist, the public British tradesman, ever ready for to sell you a penny Sunday paper, will see as I had not fallen into

a Prophetic

Trance, but was a-standing affable to the widow and the orphan, and not unlikely for to ultimately at my shop door, with all my wits about me, and a leary smile upon soar into the very loftiest parochial honours.

those lineaments which, although at present confined chiefly to the You will naturally ask me where I got my capital

. I got it, my dear neighbourhood of the Oriental Repository (for fiscal reasons), were young Friend, from the quarter where least expected. At a time when once familiar to Britannia's Hope and all the rest of the Aristocracy. my frenzied appeals to you, Sir, for a ten-pound note was treated with It was on one of the few warm days with which we have been favoured. derision-and, between ourselves, you would never have seen the money The Old Man's heart, Sir, was full. The manly conduct of his Relative again if you had been fool enough to lend it !—at that time, Sir, who had touched him a good deal. He had likewise been having a little should come forward but my Řelative, of whom I have frequently rum-and-water with a sea-captain. At such a moment, Sir, it is not spoken in these pages, not always, perhaps, with that warm affection unlikely as the prophetic spirit may have stirred me to my inmost which it is his rightful due, but well he knows as I have always really depths. As usual on such occasions, it took a metrical form, loved him. His words were plain and blunt, which I will transcribe

Awake, Prophetic Harp! In Sixty-five a few of them: “If left without any assistance whatever, you will

You sent them Gladiateur, who's still alive ; probably take to Crime; and, although you have treated your best

In Sixty-six was Nicholas a dolt, friends with scandalous ingratitude, they have no desire to see you in

Sending Lord Lyon and the Bribery Colt ? a felon's cell. You shall have another chance. You are not absolutely

Gents, get your money ready, fair and free, a fool; and with common care and attention you may pick up a decent While the Old Man proclaims One, Two, and Three ! living in the periodical line. Stick to business ; keep yourself sobor ; So, you see, I begin it as cocky as possible—though between ourselves and all may yet be well." Very plainly put, Sir, was it not ? and so I cannot hope to be successful every year. here is my relative's jolly good health, in a bumper! And yours, Sir!

First in the line of sight appears Vauban, And we will let the bumper pass, whilst we'll fill another glass, to the

One of the boldest as has ever ran; athletie men of merry, merry England !

Yes, just as I have written long ago, " The Oriental Repository,” Sir, it is a namo, or rather an appellation, which I have invented it all out of my own head, on account of

Look, the “Rake's Progress" has resulted so. Horselaydown being in the East.

I've pledged myself to eat him should he win,

But didn't say when feeding would begin;
CHAPTER THE SECOND.

And it would prove, Sir, an unpleasant dinner
A PARTING WORD WITH THE E. K. A. A. S. S. A. F. G.

For to devour a real "dead" Derby winner! LOOKING over some of the old stock, Sir, what should I see but a If D'Estournel his temper keep, no horse East Kent Advertiser and Sheerness, Sittingbourne, and Faversham Guar

Can match him on the trying Epsom course. dian, which well-known print have recently been having words

Van Amburgh, too, will earn a lasting fame, or with me. To my delight, I find that the East Kent, &c., &c., &c., can

Not be described as a Lord Lyon-tamer ! at last seo a joke. Give him a conspicious, position, Messrs. JUDD

Say, say! is Hermit always in the dark ? AND Glass, for the Prophet is old enough, and strong enough, and wise

Or will the Marksman never hit the mark ? enough for to forgive, thanks be! The Sheerness Guardian, if he will

Will mighty Julius struggle still in vain ? look in at the Oriental Repository, I will say nothing about back num

Nor Plaudit come unto the front again ? bers, but gladly pledge him in the rosy wine.

Perpend these hints; their hidden meaning scan, « TER SHEERNESS GUARDIAN. After all, it appears that "Nicholas " must have

And, if ye win, send stamps to the Old Man; visited Sheerness, and we beg pardon of the old man honourable,” for having

The minimum it will be half-a-crown, insinuated that he came amongst us only in spirit, we had better, perhaps, say

At the Oriental Repository, Horselaydown! in imagination, or he may take the reference to "spirit” as a personal reflection.

NICHOLAS. From his recent reverses, he is evidently somewhat out of spirits. We wish him better luck in bis Derby vaticination. One thing we admire in the old man's"

P.S.--Do pot forget, “The Oriental Repository,” Horselaydown. conduet, is the sensible course which he took in purchasing a current copy of the All works on Knurr and Spell kept in stock. Soda-water sold. The East Rent Advertiser, and Sheerness, Sittingbourne, and Paversham Guardian, | East Kent Advertiser, and Sheerness, Sittingbourne, and Faversham during his stay. Had he done this before he complained of the “sherry," a reference to our advertising columns would have put bim in possession of information

Guardian lent to read-charge, seven-and-sixpence every quarter of which would have obviated his complaint by directing him where to get some good

an hour.

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DOUBLE ACROSTIC.

No. 11.
The manhood of all England here
Is gather'd; for the sport is dear,
And ever and anon the cheer,

Rings gaily on the air:
The smooth sward runneth fresh and green,
The charging clamorous crowds between,
And not another stirring scene,

With this one can compare..

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1.
A curious concourse of bards,

All singing in barbarous speech,
While the king of the circle awards
The prizes to all and to each.

2.
“A dirge for her the doubly dead,

In that she died so young,'
With wild eyes flush'd, and noble head,
So the strange poet sung.

3.
In loveliness she stands confest,
And, oh! what anguish wrings her breast,
For on this merry morn of May
Her hero lover rides away.

4.
MICHAEL DRAYTON as we're told,
In heraldic pages old,
Carried this in splendour bright
On his scutcheon like a knight.

5.
The “auri sacra fames " made this dear,
To guess it bring the dictionary hero.

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ANSWER TO ACROSTIO No. 9.

T Tabards
A Abbot
I Iser

Lorelei
Oak

K
R Runnymede E
CORRECT SOLUTIONS OF ACROSTIC No. 9, RECEIVED 15TH MAY:-
Lazy bones; Brick Court; Two Phettid Phoozles;

Birkenhead;
Georgie; Ruby; M. T. Aldershot; Pigbead; A. D. H. T.; Fosco;
Bumblepuppy; Deepthought; R. O. T. B.; Chosé and Mamie;
Petlein; 'Sheernasty; Nanny's Pet; T. D. H.

Ruby, Dublin, we cannot now ascertain.

POPKINS IN PARIS.
Popkins to Cheffonier :-"HULLO, Hı! Guy Faux !”
Chef. :-"COMMENT, M'SIBU ?”
P.:-"LO88 M'war-C'NYOU TELL M' BHORST CUT TO ALGIT PUMP p"
Chef.:

:-"JE NE VOUS COMPRENDE PAS, M'SIBU !” P.:-"THANKY-GOON NI, Guy Faux!”

(MORAL:—Let the British Excursionist beware of French Brandy.

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THE ANCHORITE.

A For-Lorne State of Affairs.
SPEAK, anchorite! Why dost thou thus avoid

Had the Trip to the Tropics of LORD LORNE been as widely read as
All human converse in this grotto lonely?

it deserves to be, we feel assured that the public would not have so With life's enjoyments has thy soul been cloyed,

readily laughed at the Jamaica Committee and its stories of the atroOr disappointed only?

cities perpetrated in the island. What will our readers say to such Why seek this solitude, this frugal fare,

a combination of butchery and brewery as is shadowed forth in the Remote from human ties, and human features ?

following quotation? Oh, self-involved, how is it thou dost dare

“My informant has seen little flogging on the estate on which he was engaged. To shun thy fellow-creatures ?

When they flogged, however, it was laid on pretty tight; the lash, a long flaxen

thong, being so vigorously applied, that blood was drawn freely. Six hundred and Not in this cell, afar from all mankind,

forty hogsheads were made on the estate." Thy fitting residence—thy destined place is !

We cannot quite reconcile his lordship’s statement about the small Speak! Say, if banished from thy selfish mind

amount of flogging with the idea of the six hundred and forty hogsheads All interest in thy race is !

of blood made on the estate. Either the Jamaica planter behaves very Replied the anchorite, when thus addressed,

badly to his African, or LORD LORNE treats his English with ignorance, All interest in my race ? Alas! poor sinner,

that fruitful source of barbarity.
Once in a race I took great interest
But didn't back the winner!"

Turf Note.

The ignorance of the black-leg is proverbial. The fraternity, it is Moral Reflection.

well known, have mistaken the meaning of the famous spelling-book Before the day is over how many a youth will discover that one of description of the horse. They read it the horse is a nobble animal." the edged tools with which it is not advisable to play for fear of cut

Our Better Halves. fingers, is a high-mettled racer.

War do ladies prefer to lay wagers in gloves.-Because they like to

have a hand in the betting. Why should fish always be the last course of a dinner ?-Because they are the finnish by nature.

Why ought an aquatic Palestine be like one of FORTNUM AND A DERBY CHORU8.—"Rum tiddy doll !"

Mason's hampers ?—Because it ought to have a Lobster-Saladin.

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