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DOUBLE ACROSTIC.

No. 10.
Came a pleasant June day,

And it strayed into May,
The pleasance was fragrant with summer :

In the heat of the town

Lo! the trees stoop'd adown
To welcome the sunny new-comer.

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Where hedgerows get fresh verdure from the spring,
_The village children often stray to find it;
The bird sweeps by upon a lusty wing,
And seldom leaves it very long behind it.

2.
Eastward over all the seas,

Where the Trade winds sweep,
Sails the ship before the breeze,

Onward o'er the deep :
Till she sights the harbour-bar,

And the town shows fair;
“Foreign Devils ” from afar
So they call us there.

3.
There was never fairer lady,

And he lowly bent him there,
Where the garden pots were shady,

Till she gazed on his back hair.
And he promised to adore her,

At the granting of a kiss,
While he murmured soft before her

One small word, and it was this.

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It stands afar with fear upon its features,
More frightened than all other horned creatures.

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A HALF MEASURE.

SCENE.Church. Time.—Litany.
Master Tom (who has been promised a penny if he is good during service) :—"I
8AY, MA,-18 IT HALF OVER YET?"

Mamma :-“YB8, DEAR!”
Master Tom :-“THEN GIVE US A HALFPENNY!”

ANSWER TO ACROSTIC No. 8.

Vow
Alkali
Union

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Anne

N Niebuhr SOLUTIONS OF ACROSTIC No. 8, RECEIVED May 8th.- None correct.

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PARIS PENCILLINGS.

Attired thus, I wend my way towards the Louvre. On arriving,

the first thing to do is to look about for a good easel and carpet that BOHEMIA-IN-PARIS.

have been carefully put away by somebody else. If you can't find one, Dear Sir,—According to your wish that I should keep my eye on lay hands on stool, easel, and carpet of some poor wretch who has the British Tourist in Paris, 'I beg to state that I have had only too gone to déjeuner, and bear them off bodily to your place. When, on his many opportunities of studying him. I am at present copying in the return, he finds the whole paraphernalia disappeared, he can't accuse Louvre, where he most doth congregate. He comes in swarms and you, as in all probability he procured them in the same manner. One settles round your easel-stands in your light--criticizes your work plan is to paint your initials in large and conspicuous characters on makes remarks on your attire, &c.—upsets your turpentine and - both easel and stool, but as nearly all the students practise this, some vanishes! You will naturally ask, “Do these people not see you are difficulty might arise as to who was the lawful owner. I will just give English, that they so coolly criticize you? One would think that if they you an idea of a quiet morning's work. 'put this and that together they would not pull you to pieces.” No; Supposing I have just begun in charcoal. Enter to me English the beauty of it is they don't recognise the elegant and refined Potts family—pa, ma, two daughters, and one son. The pa is clerical, in the person of a brigand in a felt hat and Wellington boots! Again, chokery, pompous, portly, and portwiney. The ma, sharp, strict, Sunyou will ask, “Why have you adopted this eccentric costume ?" Sir, day-schoolish, and souptickety. The daughters, pink, proper, booky, it is for the very reason of not wishing to appear eccentric, or to look and bread-and-buttery. The son, fourteen, fat and freckly, with a peculiar, that I have adopted it. Living in the society of Parisian tall hat and short jacket. All crowd round. Pa clears his throat, students it would never do to dress like a rational being. Were I to and commences a long jobation on painting in general, from the early wear my hair a decent length I should be the laughing stock of a ages down to the present time. AỈ listen attentively except puffy son, whole atelier—did they but know I ever combed it, I should be scouted who is staring hard at a stout lady with a fish's tail in one of Rubens' from all Beaux Arts society.

pictures. He is reprimanded for not paying attention, and pa conMy beard (hem!) I have let grow wherever it will. (Do you laugh tinues. He informs them that this person (meaning me, Sir) is copy. at our beard ?) An immense Rubenesque sombrero hat is stuck jauntily ing a Titian (it being a Rembrandt), “ a painter that was much thought in my mouth, and a clay pipe is thrown carelessly on the side of my of in his time,” though he (pa) must confess that his (Titian's) colour head. (There is some mistake in the foregoing-please correct.) My always struck him as being earthy." Eldest daughter asks why the coat is seedy on the outside, the lining is dying a natural death on the person” is “ doing it" all in black (I have just commenced in char. inside ; it is torn in several places, for, unlike the old gentleman in coal). Js informed by pa that this is the great fault of the French MILLAIS' picture, my time is not much taken up in "sewing tears." school. They were “ too gritty." Youngest daughter gushingly. deMy boots I wear over my trousers. I have adopted a sort of slangy, clares that seeing pictures always made her die to be an artist. Is reshuffling gait. I carry a large wooden paint-box, and I sing popular proved by ma, who says that having had lessons at school, that was melodies when walking in the street, which singing consists of a all “any young lady could desire.” “But, then," argues daughter chronic "yodel” like a hobbledeboy's voice in a transition state. | No. 2; I only did heads and landscapes, and easy things like

thet.” “And quite enough too, HENRIETTA !" is ma's reply. I thought so, too. Puffy son asks why artists “ dress 80 jolly rum " Another long harangue from pa on artists in general, and French ones in particular, together with a novel and highly entertaining description of students and their ways of living.

“Taking this young man as an example," he observes, “I have no doubt but that he is of the lowest extraction. Perchance a mere peasant from the South of France. He comes to Paris—he is thrown into a whirlpool of gaiety and pleasure-he grows careless, and moustachios, and by degrees sinks lower and lower until he can scarcely scrape a few sous together by exercising his profession.”

At this juncture I draw from my pocket a small publication. On unfolding it I display in large letters on the title-page, FUN, and with a sweet smile that is all my own, I fix my cold grey eye on the quartette around me, and sing softly, “Paddle your own canoe.” The effect is miraculous. They fly! and I am left-not alone though, for a newlymarried couple have taken their place; they are being dragged about by a guide. The gentleman gapes the whole time, and the lady, being an amateur artist, is severe in her remarks. I am no sooner released from them than a party of Cook's excursionists come up; and so on throughout the whole day.

I overheard a conversation in the BONAPARTE room the other day. Brown and Jones were gazing with reverence at the cocked hat, &c., of the late emperor. Says SMITH (half speaking to Brown and half to himself), “To think that that hat has been worn on the head of the great NAP!” “Then,” says Brown, interrupting his friend's reverie,

Then I suppose that accounts for the Nap being worn off the great hat, eh!” Feeling unwell, I left.

Yours,

Paint Potts.

A MILL-ODY.
Sweet maid, with regal brow-

And golden hair-
Eyes that the skies with their own blue endow,

Oh, fair-50 fair!
Permit thy poet thus to pen a verse on
Thee-whom the Legislature styles a "person.”
Delight of this fond keart,

Oh, beauty rare !
Worshipped by artfulness as well as Art,

Oh, fair-80 fair!
M. P.'s. as well as painters, anxious be,
Upon their canvases to set down thee!
Speak, empress of my breast,

And tell, oh, tell
Wilt thou accept the love I have confest

Too well-too well ?
Dost thou sufficiently upon me doat
To wed me—and to sacrifice thy vote ?

A New Dodge. The example set by the art-critic of the Daily Telegraph who refused the other day to tell the public anything about the Society of British Artists because he considered there was not a picture worth looking at, is being conscientiously followed. The following paragraph appears in the Little Times, a penny sheet supposed to contain scraps of news :

"La France of to-day furnishes us with a programme of the movements of the Sovereigns. It is too long for our short columns, though no doubt to many of our readers it would be wonderfully interesting.”

Thank you for nothing, most worthy sub-editor of the Little Times. After this we ought not to be surprised at seeing something to the following effect in a newspaper:-“ Yesterday the Judge Ordi. nary was employed in trying one of the most extraordinary divorce cases that has ever come before him, but as it will no doubt be too exciting for our readers we will say no more about it.”

'TWAS EVER THUS. I NEVER reared a young gazelle

(Because, you see, I never tried); But, had it known and loved me well,

No doubt the creature would have died. My rich and aged uncle JOHN

Has known me long and loves me well, But still persists in living on

I would he were a young gazelle ! I never loved a tree or flow'r;

But, if I had, I beg to say, The blight, the wind, the sun or show'r,

Would soon have withered it away. I've dearly loved my uncle Joux,

From childhood till the present hour And yet he will go living on

I would he were a tree or flow'r!

THE MARCH OF INTELLECT. - A Field-day with the “Inns of Court."

Answers to Correspondents.

A Notification. "A FRIENDLY Lead will shortly be given to JEM WILKINSON, who is at present in trouble, but expects to get his ticket daily. It is hoped all who knew him in brighter days will lend him a helping hand. For tickets, and further particulars, apply to the landlord of the Weathercock Tavern, Printing-house-square.”

Rhyme and Reason. A.CORRESPONDENT, who has so far mistaken his vocation as to send us a copy of verses, says, “I have a cousin (thrice removed) who keeps a shop in Lambeth, which must be my apology for all false quantities.

Home Affairs. The next Bill for a MILL-One for the Misrepresentation of the people.

Married ladies will continue to superintend the private business of the House.

[We cannot return rejected NSS. or sketches unless they are accompanied by a stamped and directed envelope.]

F. W., Bristol. We don't see the point of the communication.
R. T., Liverpool. Was done some weeks ago in Fun.
SOAPSUDS.-Won't wash.
T. J., Wood-green.-But we don't think the public would grin too.

“No. 1, ROUND THE CORNER.”—We suppose the joke is there too, for we can't see it.

E. C., Ipswich-In this instance, despite the old saying, E. C. does not do it.

R. N., Denbigh-street.-We don't see your drift.

A CONSTANT READER.-You will find a similar joke in an early volumu of Fun.

R., Dock Office, Liverpool.-Done in Fun ages ago.
C1_Tn
J. H, C.-We shall see.

C. L.-The paragraph was sent us by another correspondent-without any copy attached.

TEASER.-Not quite, this time.
A Scotch Reader.—Many thanks.
NEW-CROSS.—Thanks for the suggestion, but it is of no use.

A CRIB Biter. Unfortunately we don't see the Bucks Herald, and so were not aware of your article.

COUNTRY COUSIN will find what he requires in our numbers every week.
J. H., Hastings.-Our letter was not attended to.
M. S. P., Montrose. --Too late.
Comet. -Thanks. We did not detect the erratic appearance.
CERBERN will find his rejection in our back numbers.

Declined with thanks—W. P., Wimbledon; Sigma; H. H., Nottinghill; Rodolph; W.O., Liverpool; W. S., Birmingham; E. L., Salisburystreet; Scotchman ; U. Q.,; Adelphi; J. H. T., Dublin ; W. P.T., Wal. lingford; H. R. R., Edinburgh; c.'G. A.; H. W. S.; F. W. H., Belgrave-road; T. M., Dublin; "A man wot suffered;" R. L. P., Darlington; Machinist; L. B. E., City; E. H. R.; H.S.J.; A.B., Manchester; E. W. L.; J. W; A Reformer ; A. H., Newbury'; H. Belgrave-road; M. D.; H.'c., Erith; R. M. O.; É. E. G., Putney ;'A. L. B.; A Devotee; W. G. I., Islington ; R. W., Manchester; Contra ; P. G.,'Junior; X; W. T., Bayswater; D. I., Bridgewater; J. F.; R. F. B., South Belgravia; H. T. M., Waterloo; S. É., Bristol ; “ Veretas;" J. P., Camberwell; R. H., Glasgow; R. B. B., Westminster; J. W. S., Dublin; Tig; W. 'W., Stafford ; J. P., junor, Whitehaven; A. Z.; Daphne.

Mis-reported. It is stated, in the accounts of the recent Royal Academy dinner, that the Chancellor of the Exchequer observed, “I look upon this room as the Mecca of Society.” What he really said was, “ I look upon this banquet as Me-dina."

A Modiste Note. Young ladies, as a rule, look so killing in pork-pie hats that they may be said to be armed cap-à-pie.

Musical. The last novelty in the Ethiopian melody line is “ Black Hide Susan.”

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GREEN WICH PARK.

country delight in disporting. There is a hill crowned by one tree

(Arbor sola). Down the sides of this eminence the young people run, BY A RED-ER.

hand-in-hand. The pastime is rough, and not without danger, as is LAND of the whitebait and the punch, I know thee well! Oft from the case with many of the amusements of savages. At one time an thy green slopes have I gazed upon the Thames, the Father of annual gathering took place here, entitled the Fair, at which the Waters, flowing seaward with his freight of peony steamers and other wildest orgies were the order of the day. It has, however, fallen into craft. Before me lay the Isle of Dogs, from Barking to the Bight of desuetude of late years, owing, possibly, to the spread of missionaries Limehouse. The Isle of Dogs, intersected with kennels—I mean and civilization. canals! Land of the water-rush (Impetus aquaticus) and the quag Another relic of the past, now consigned to oblivion, is the Penmire, well do I know thee! The pleasant land of Greenwich is sioner (Sal retus) who used to frequent the scene. All the old braves, divided into two districts—the highlands and the lowlands. In the who had defended their country on the sea, were sent to live in a large former the traveller finds that the whitebait (Album beatum) forms building, where they were supplied with wooden legs (and very little the staple of food. With this the inhabitants consume a species of else), and sent into the park, to inspire patriotic sentiments in the fire-water, the general effects of which may be described briefly as a bosoms of the boys of the country. They earned a precarious living headache next morning. Feasts are continually going on at large and an occasional screw of tobacco (Nicotiana fumabilis) by lending out caravanserai overlooking the river. They would seem to form a sort long tubes through which they alleged the visitor could survey the of religious ceremony, the guests sitting down and feeding with great surrounding country, and by telling long and highly-coloured stories solemnity, under the superintendence of grave functionaries, attired in of their experiences. The tales were known locally as “ bangers," a the costume of the sacerdotal order. As is the custom with savage word probably derived from a native verb signifying “to make a nations, the ceremony, as a rule, winds up in a wild manner.

report." . In the lowlands the whitebait is replaced by a small crustacean, the Land of the brown breaded whitebait and the iced punch, of the 8'rimp (Lobsterus parvulus). This is eaten in large quantities with a crisp and to-be-deftly picked s'rimp, and the mild and innocuous tea, beverage formed by the decoction of leaves from a native plant, the I am tolerably well acquainted with thee! Tardus communis, or common sloe. When prepared, this drink is en. titled “tee,” and is consumed with avidity by the natives. Inscript Land of the iced whitebait and brown-breaded punch, of the deftly. tions are frequently met with on the shutters of the houses, and have he

, and have be-packed tea, mild 'nocuous s'rimp! I have visi-revisited thee, with been translated by eminent scholars. They appear to be offers of view to revisit hospitality to the passer-by-offers ranging from the munificence of tole'bly good speaking trumpets should say speaking terms, with

view t' revisiting-n0, reviving impressions 'bout you. I'm on tol“ tea and s’rimps may be had here,” to the comparative parsimony of

both of you. Hic! “parties supplied with hot water.” The presiding genius of the tea and s’rimp house is in most cases an elderly female. These females are geldom beautiful, and their honesty, as is frequently to be observed

Pers(ano)evering. among savages, is not above suspicion.

Why was it that ADMIRAL Persano declined to expose himself to A green and undulating woodland forms the background of the scene danger at the battle of Lissa? Because he preferred keeping “ Mens I have been depicting. In its centre stands a strange building called sana in corpore Per-sano." the Observatory, and described by the natives as the central spot of the world, or “Latitude Nothing." This belief in an orphalus of the globe would seem to indicato descent from the Greeks.

A "FUN" may be obtained in Paris every Wednesday of MR8SRS, On the pleasant sward (Herba viridis) of this region the youth of the KIRKLAND AND Co., No. 27, Rue de Richelieu.

London : Printed by JUDD & GLASS, Phoenix Worke, St. Andrew's Emili, Doctors' Commons, and Published (for toe Proprietor) by W. ALDER, at 80, Floor-stroet, E.C.

May 18, 1867.

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sherry. When the “old man" visits Sheerness again, let him ignore his ungrateful friend of former days, whose reception so annoyed him, and send in his card to the E. K. A., &c., we will gladly introduce him to a bottle of “Pale” or “Golden,” that shall merit a character many degrees above “beastly.” Moreover, we will show him that the Sheerness of the present day is a very different locality to the Sheerness of fifty years ago, and that a very enjoyable day, especially in summer | weather, may be spent in strolling along the Sheppy Beach.

It appears to us that the reason "a very large section of our fellow-countrymen 1 at a distance " view Sheerness as such a one horse" sort of a place, as a Yankee would say, is to be found in the fact, which we pointed out recently, that no step has ever been taken by the inhabitants to bring its real merits before public notice."

Well, Sir, I dare say as the Sheerness Guardiam is quite right; and though he do not catch me, not at the Prophet's present period, awalking along Shoppy Beach, yet I am glad as he have made things pleasant. But, Sir, there is a old cove in the same paper, which he actually signs hisself “The Writer of the Article on the Luxembourg Question," and than whom a more wicious old public journalist never tried to ruin a humble Prophet. This old cock, Sir, if such he may be ealled, is very angry because I said his literary style was exactly like

mine, which it is, but he do not see the compliment. He imagines as SPORTING INTELLIGENCE.

I said as he was ungrammatical, whereas what I really said was that

he wrote exactly like your Prophet. I ain't ungrammatical, am I? NICHOLAS IN BUSINES FOR HIMSELF.

Just let this wicious old man, however, speak for himself, verbatim et , The ORIENTAL REPOSITORY, HORSELAYDOWN.

literatim. MY DEAR YOUNG FRIEND,—To all those which may have inquired,

" If the contributer to Fun will only get some charity schoolboy to parse for him

the sentence to which be has taken an exception, he will recognise his own ignoOVINO OI LOL muviously, and others in the spirit of a brother man, some of them individuously, and others in the spirit of a brother man,

rance, and perhaps excuse us for syrmising that he writes in the stupid style he has concerning of my present locus in quo you are now in a position to adopted because of is incapacity to use any other." reply that I may be found at the above address, where all the chief Now, look here; I ain't a-going for to stand it! If the “Writer of the periodicals of the day are on sale, and the Times lent to read. I was Article on the Luxembourg Question” will only get some charity schoolabsent from your cheerful columns last week, it is true; but, my dear boy (standing him a drink) to spell for him the sentence wbich I have young Friend, your classic lore will remind you as Rome was not just quoted, he will recognise his own ignorance, and perhaps excuse built in a day, nor yet was the Oriental Repository, which I had to me for surmising that when he spells" contributer" with a "e" take it with some of the old stock, and between ourselves it has got a instead of a “0," and " is" incapacity instead of “his" incapacity, he bad name, or they would not let me have it cheap. Your artist, writes in the stupid style he has adopted because he don't know no however-than whom a more respectable young man for his position better authorgraphy nor yet no better sintacks. There let him lay. I in life, and I wish I had had something better on the premises at the have advertised him gratis, and as he do not seem obliged to me I will moment than half of a bottle of stout which, I am afraid, as it was a little not do so again. Never no more, ye E. K. A. A. S. S. A. F. G. turned with the hot weather-your artist, Sir, will tell you that NICHOLAS, who was once the glass of fashion, the mould of form, and

CHAPTER THE THIRD, The DERBY OF 1867. the cynicrure of neighbouring eyes, is quietly converted into an honest

From the spirited delineation, Sir, given by your Artist, the public British tradesman, ever ready for to sell you a penny Sunday paper,

will see as I had not fallen into a Prophetic Trance, but was a-standing affable to the widow and the orphan, and not unlikely for to witimafelv at my shop door, with all my wits about me, and a leary smile upon Boar into the very loftiest parochial honours.

I those lineaments which, although at present confined chiefly to the You will naturally ask me where I got my capital. I got it, my dear

neighbourhood of the Oriental Repository (for fiscal reasons), were young Friend, from the quarter where least expected. At a time when

once familiar to Britannia's Hope and all the rest of the Aristocracy. my frenzied appeals to you, Şir, for a ten-pound note was treated with

It was on one of the few warm days with which we have been favoured. derision-and, between ourselves, you would never have seen the money

The Old Man's heart, Sir, was full. The manly conduct of his Relative again if you had been fool enough to lend it !-at that time, Sir, who

had touched him a good deal. He had likewise been having a little should come forward but my Relative, of whom I have frequently rum-and-water with a sea-captain. At such a moment, Sir, it is not spoken in these pages, not always, perhaps, with that warm affection unlikely as the prophetic spirit may have stirred me to my inmost which it is his rightful due, but well he knows as I have always really depths. As usual on such occasions, it took a metrical form. loved him. His words were plain and blunt, which I will transcribe

Awake, Prophetic Harp! In Sixty-five a few of them: “If left without any assistance whatever, you will

You sent them Gladiateur, who's still alive; probably take to Crime; and, although you have treated your best

In Sixty-six was NICHOLAS a dolt, friends with scandalous ingratitude, they have no desire to see you in

Sending Lord Lyon and the Bribery Colt ? a felon's cell. You shall have another chance. You are not absolutely

Gents, get your money ready, fair and free, a fool; and with common care and attention you may pick up a decent

While the Old Man proclaims One, Two, and Three! living in the periodical line. Stick to business; keep yourself sober ; So, you see, I begin it as cocky as possible—though between ourselves and all may yet be well.” Very plainly put, Sir, was it not ? and so I cannot hope to be successful every year. here is my relative's jolly good health, in a bumper! Add yours, Sir!

First in the line of sight appears Vauban, And we will let the bumper pass, whilst we'll fill another glass, to the

One of the boldest as has ever ran; athletic men of merry, merry England !

Yes, just as I have written long ago, ... "The Oriental Repository," Sir, it is a namo, or rather an appella

Look, the “Rake's Progress" has resulted so. tion, which I have invented it all out of my own head, on account of

I've pledged myself to eat him should he win,
Horselaydown being in the East.

But didn't say when feeding would begin;
CHAPTER THE SECOND,

And it would prove, Sir, an unpleasant dinner
A PARTING WORD WITH THE E. K. A. A. S. S. A. F. G.

For to devour a real “ dead” Derby winner! LOOKING over some of the old stock, Sir, what should I see but a

If D'Estournel his temper keep, no horse East Kent Advertiser and Sheerness, Sittingbourne, and Faversham Grar

Can match him on the trying Epsom course. dian, which well-known print have recently been having words

Van Amburgh, too, will earn a lasting fame, or with me. To my delight, I find that the East Kent, &c., &c., &c., can

Not be described as a Lord Lyon-tamer! at last see a joke. Give him a conspicious, position, Messrs. JUDD

Say, say! is Hermit always in the dark ? AND Glass, for the Prophet is old enough, and strong enough, and wise

Or will the Marksman never hit the mark ? enough for to forgive, thanks be! The Sheerness Guardian, if he will

Will mighty Julius struggle still in vain ? : look in at the Oriental Repository, I will say nothing about back num

Nor Plaudit come unto the front again ? bers, but gladly pledge him in the rosy wine.

Perpend these hints; their hidden meaning scan, THR SHEERNESS GUARDIAN.-After all, it appears that "Niebolas" must have

And, if ye win, send stamps to the Old Man; visited Sheerness, and we beg pardon of "the old man honourable," for having

The minimum it will be half-a-crown, insinuated that he came amongst us only in spirit, we had better, perhaps, say

At the Oriental Repository, Horselaydown! Nourie in imagination, or he may take the reference to " spirit” as a personal reflection. from his recent reverses, he is evidently somewhat out of spirits. We wish him better luck in bis Derby vaticination. One thing we admire in the "old man's"

P.S.-Do not forget, “The Oriental Repository," Horselaydown.

The East Kent Advertiser, and Sheerness, Sittingbourne, and Farersham Guardian, UEL, the sensible course which he took in purchasing a current copy of the All works on Knurr and Spell kept in stock. Soda-water sold.

East Kent Advertiser, and Sheerness, Sittingbourne, and Faversham auring his stay. Had he done this before he complained of the “sherry." a reference to our advertising columns would have put bim in possession of information

Guardian lent to read-charge, seven-and-sixpence every quarter of hich would have obviated his eomplaint by directing him where to get somo good an hour.

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A curious concourse of bards,

All singing in barbarous speech, 'While the king of the circle awards The prizes to all and to each.

2.
A dirge for her the doubly dead,

In that she died so young,"
With wild eyes flush'd, and noble head,
So the strange poet sung.

3.
In loveliness she stands confest,
And, oh! what anguish wrings her breast,
For on this merry morn of May
Her hero lover rides away.

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4.

MICHAEL DRAYTON as we're told,
In heraldic pages old,
Carried this in splendour bright
On his scutcheon like a knight.

5. The“ auri sacra fames" made this dear, To guess it bring the dictionary here.

ANSWER TO ACROSTIO No. 9.

Tabards
A Abbot

Iser
Lorelei

Oak

R Runnymede E CORRECT SOLUTIONS OF ACROSTIC No. 9, RECEIVED 15TH MAY :Lazy bones : Buick Court; Two Phettid Phoozles; Birkenhead: Georgie: Ruby : M. T. Aldershot; Pighead; A. D. H. T.; Fosco : Bumblepuppy; Deepthought; R. O. T. B.; Chosé and 'Mamie; Petlein; Sheernasty; Nanny's Pet; T. D. H.

Ruby, Dublin, we cannot now ascertain.

POPKINS IN PARIS. Popkins to Cheffonier :-"Hullo, Hi! Guy Faux !” Chef. :-"COMMENT, M'sieu ?” P. :-“Loss M'WAY-O'NYOU TELL M'SHORST CUT TO Algit PUMP ?". Chef. :-“JB NB vous COMPRENDS PAS, M'SIEU !” P.:-"THANKY—Goon Ni, Guy Faux!

[MORAL:— Let the British Excursionist beware of French Brandy.

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THE ANCHORITE. SPEAK,' anchorite! Why dost thou thus avoid

All human converse in this grotto lonely? With life's enjoyments has thy soul been cloyed,

Or disappointed only?
Why seek this solitude, this frugal fare,

Remote from human ties, and human features ? Oh, self-involved, how is it thou dost dare

To shun thy fellow-creatures ?
Not in this cell, afar from all mankind,

Thy fitting residence—thy destined place is ! Speak! Say, if banished from thy selfish mind

All interest in thy race is !
Replied the anchorite, when thus addressed,
“ All interest in my race ? Alas! poor sinner,
Once in a race I took great interest

But didn't back the winner!"

A For-Lorne State of Affairs. Had the Trip to the Tropics of LORD LORNE been as widely read as it deserves to be, we feel assured that the public would not have so readily laughed at the Jamaica Committee and its stories of the atrocities perpetrated in the island. What will our readers say to such a combination of butchery and brewery as is shadowed forth in the following quotation ?

“My informant has seen little flogging on the estate on which he was engaged, When they flogged, however, it was laid on pretty tight; the lash, a long flaxen thong, being so vigorously applied, that blood was drawn freely. Six hundred and forty hogsheads were made on the estate." We cannot quite reconcile his lordship's statement about the small amount of flogging with the idea of the six hundred and forty hogsheads of blood made on the estate. Either the Jamaica planter behaves very badly to his African, or LORD LORNE treats his English with ignorance, that fruitful source of barbarity.

Turf Note. The ignorance of the black-leg is proverbial. The fraternity, it is well known, have mistaken the meaning of the famous spelling-book description of the horse. They read it the horse is a nobble animal.”

Moral Reflection. BEFORE the day is over how many a youth will discover that one of the edged tools with which it is not advisable to play for fear of cut fingers, is a high-mettled racer.

Why should fish always be the last course of a dinner ?-Because they are the finnish by nature.

A DERBY CHORU8.—“Rum tiddy doll !

Our Better Halves. War do ladies prefer to lay wagers in gloves.—Because they like to have a hand in the betting.

Why ought an aquatic Palestine be like one of FORTNUM AND Mason's hampers ?-Because it ought to have a Lobster-Saladin.

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