PARIS PENCILLINGS. BOHEMIA-IN-PARIS. DEAR SIR,-According to your wish that I should keep my eye on the British Tourist in Paris, I beg to state that I have had only too many opportunities of studying him. I am at present copying in the Louvre, where he most doth congregate. He comes in swarms and settles round your easel-stands in your light--criticizes your workmakes remarks on your attire, &c.-upsets your turpentine andvanishes! You will naturally ask, "Do these people not see you are English, that they so coolly criticize you? One would think that if they 'put this and that together' they would not pull you to pieces." No; the beauty of it is they don't recognise the elegant and refined POTTS in the person of a brigand in a felt hat and Wellington boots! Again, you will ask, "Why have you adopted this eccentric costume ?" Sir, it is for the very reason of not wishing to appear eccentric, or to look peculiar, that I have adopted it. Living in the society of Parisian students it would never do to dress like a rational being. Were I to wear my hair a decent length I should be the laughing stock of a whole atelier-did they but know I ever combed it, I should be scouted from all Beaux Arts society. My beard (hem!) I have let grow wherever it will. (Do you laugh at our beard ?) An immense Rubenesque sombrero hat is stuck jauntily in my mouth, and a clay pipe is thrown carelessly on the side of my head. (There is some mistake in the foregoing-please correct.) My coat is seedy on the outside, the lining is dying a natural death on the inside; it is torn in several places, for, unlike the old gentleman in MILLAIS' picture, my time is not much taken up in "sewing tears." My boots I wear over my trousers. I have adopted a sort of slangy, shuffling gait. I carry a large wooden paint-box, and I sing popular melodies when walking in the street, which singing consists of a chronic "yodel" like a hobbledehoy's voice in a transition state. V Vow W Alkali Union N B Ban A Anne N Niebuhr SOLUTIONS OF ACROSTIC No. 8, RECEIVED MAY 8th.-None correct. Attired thus, I wend my way towards the Louvre. On arriving, the first thing to do is to look about for a good easel and carpet that have been carefully put away by somebody else. If you can't find one, lay hands on stool, easel, and carpet of some poor wretch who has gone to déjeuner, and bear them off bodily to your place. When, on his return, he finds the whole paraphernalia disappeared, he can't accuse you, as in all probability he procured them in the same manner. One plan is to paint your initials in large and conspicuous characters on both easel and stool, but as nearly all the students practise this, some difficulty might arise as to who was the lawful owner. I will just give you an idea of a quiet morning's work. Supposing I have just begun in charcoal. Enter to me English family-pa, ma, two daughters, and one son. The pa is clerical, chokery, pompous, portly, and portwiney. The ma, sharp, strict, Sunday-schoolish, and souptickety. The daughters, pink, proper, booky, and bread-and-buttery. The son, fourteen, fat and freckly, with a tall hat and short jacket. All crowd round. Pa clears his throat, and commences a long jobation on painting in general, from the early ages down to the present time. All listen attentively except puffy son, who is staring hard at a stout lady with a fish's tail in one of RUBENS' pictures. He is reprimanded for not paying attention, and pa continues. He informs them that this person (meaning me, Sir) is copying a Titian (it being a Rembrandt), "a painter that was much thought of in his time," though he (pa) must confess that his (Titian's) colour always struck him as being "earthy." Eldest daughter asks why the "person" is "doing it" all in black (I have just commenced in charcoal). Is informed by pa that this is the great fault of the French school. They were "too gritty." Youngest daughter gushingly, declares that seeing pictures always made her die to be an artist. Is reproved by ma, who says that having had lessons at school, that was all "any young lady could desire.' "But, then," argues daughter No. 2; "I only did heads and landscapes, and easy things like thet." "And quite enough too, HENRIETTA!" is ma's reply. I thought so, too. Puffy son asks why artists "dress so jolly rum ?" Another long harangue from pa on artists in general, and French ones in particular, together with a novel and highly entertaining description of students and their ways of living. 66 Taking this young man as an example," he observes, "I have no doubt but that he is of the lowest extraction. Perchance a mere peasant from the South of France. He comes to Paris-he is thrown into a whirlpool of gaiety and pleasure-he grows careless, and moustachios, and by degrees sinks lower and lower until he can scarcely scrape a few sous together by exercising his profession." At this juncture I draw from my pocket a small publication. On unfolding it I display in large letters on the title-page, FUN, and with a sweet smile that is all my own, I fix my cold grey eye on the quartette around me, and sing softly, "Paddle your own canoe." The effect is miraculous. They fly! and I am left-not alone though, for a newlymarried couple have taken their place; they are being dragged about by a guide. The gentleman gapes the whole time, and the lady, being an amateur artist, is severe in her remarks. I am no sooner released from them than a party of Cook's excursionists come up; and so on throughout the whole day. I overheard a conversation in the BONAPARTE room the other day. BROWN and JONES were gazing with reverence at the cocked hat, &c., of the late emperor. Says SMITH (half speaking to BROWN and half to himself), "To think that that hat has been worn on the head of the great NAP!" "Then," says BROWN, interrupting his friend's reverie, Then I suppose that accounts for the Nap being worn off the great hat, eh!" Feeling unwell, I left. Yours, 'TWAS EVER THUS. I NEVER reared a young gazelle No doubt the creature would have died. My rich and aged uncle JOHN Has known me long and loves me well, But still persists in living on I would he were a young gazelle ! I never loved a tree or flow'r; But, if I had, I beg to say, The blight, the wind, the sun or show'r, I've dearly loved my uncle JoHN, And yet he will go living on I would he were a tree or flow'r! A Notification. PAINT POTTS. A Modiste Note. THE example set by the art-critic of the Daily Telegraph who refused the other day to tell the public anything about the Society of British Artists because he considered there was not a picture worth looking at, is being conscientiously followed. The following paragraph appears in the Little Times, a penny sheet supposed to contain scraps of news: "La France of to-day furnishes us with a programme of the movements of the Sovereigns. It is too long for our short columns, though no doubt to many of our readers it would be wonderfully interesting." Thank you for nothing, most worthy sub-editor of the Little Times. After this we ought not to be surprised at seeing something to the following effect in a newspaper:-" Yesterday the Judge Ordinary was employed in trying one of the most extraordinary divorce cases that has ever come before him, but as it will no doubt be too exciting for our readers we will say no more about it." THE MARCH OF INTELLECT.-A Field-day with the "Inns of Court." Answers to Correspondents. [We cannot return rejected MSS. or sketches unless they are accompanied by a stamped and directed envelope.] F. W., Bristol.-We don't see the point of the communication. T. J., Wood-green.-But we don't think the public would grin too. "No. 1, ROUND THE CORNER."-We suppose the joke is there too, for we can't see it. E. C., Ipswich-In this instance, despite the old saying, E. C. does not TEASER.-Not quite, this time. A SCOTCH READER.-Many thanks. NEW-CROSS.-Thanks for the suggestion, but it is of no use. A CRIB BITER.-Unfortunately we don't see the Bucks Herald, and so were not aware of your article. COUNTRY COUSIN will find what he requires in our numbers every week. J. H., Hastings.-Our letter was not attended to. M. S. P., Montrose.-Too late. COMET. Thanks. We did not detect the erratic appearance. hill; Rodolph; W. O., Liverpool; W. S., Birmingham; E. L., SalisburyDeclined with thanks-W. P., Wimbledon; Sigma; H. H., Nottingstreet; Scotchman; U. Q.,; Adelphi; J. H. T., Dublin; W. P. T., Wallingford; H. R. R., Edinburgh; C. G. A.; H. W. S.; F. W. H., Belgrave-road; T. M., Dublin; "A man wot suffered;" R. L. P., Darlington; Machinist; L. B. E.. City; E. H. R.; H. S. J.; A. B., Manchester; E. W. L.; J. W; A Reformer; A. H., Newbury; H. Belgrave-road; YOUNG ladies, as a rule, look so killing in pork-pie hats that they M. D.; H. C., Erith; R. M. O.; E. E. G., Putney; A. L. B.; A Devotee; may be said to be armed cap-à-pie. Musical. W. G. I, Islington; R. W., Manchester; Contra; P. G., Junior; X; THE last novelty in the Ethiopian melody line is "Black Hide Susan." Stafford; J. P., junor, Whitehaven; A. Z.; Daphne. LAND of the whitebait and the punch, I know thee well! Oft from thy green slopes have I gazed upon the Thames, the Father of Waters, flowing seaward with his freight of penny steamers and other craft. Before me lay the Isle of Dogs, from Barking to the Bight of Limehouse. The Isle of Dogs, intersected with kennels-I mean canals! Land of the water-rush (Impetus aquaticus) and the quagmire, well do I know thee! The pleasant land of Greenwich is divided into two districts-the highlands and the lowlands. In the former the traveller finds that the whitebait (Album beatum) forms the staple of food. With this the inhabitants consume a species of fire-water, the general effects of which may be described briefly as a headache next morning. Feasts are continually going on at large caravanserai overlooking the river. They would seem to form a sort of religious ceremony, the guests sitting down and feeding with great solemnity, under the superintendence of grave functionaries, attired in the costume of the sacerdotal order. As is the custom with savage nations, the ceremony, as a rule, winds up in a wild manner. In the lowlands the whitebait is replaced by a small crustacean, the s'rimp (Lobsterus parvulus). This is eaten in large quantities with a beverage formed by the decoction of leaves from a native plant, the Tardus communis, or common sloe. When prepared, this drink is entitled "tee," and is consumed with avidity by the natives. Inscriptions are frequently met with on the shutters of the houses, and have been translated by eminent scholars. They appear to be offers of hospitality to the passer-by-offers ranging from the munificence of "tea and s'rimps may be had here," to the comparative parsimony of "parties supplied with hot water." The presiding genius of the tea and s'rimp house is in most cases an elderly female. These females are seldom beautiful, and their honesty, as is frequently to be observed among savages, is not above suspicion. A green and undulating woodland forms the background of the scene I have been depicting. In its centre stands a strange building called the Observatory, and described by the natives as the central spot of the world, or "Latitude Nothing." This belief in an omphalus of the globe would seem to indicate descent from the Greeks. On the pleasant sward (Herba viridis) of this region the youth of the country delight in disporting. There is a hill crowned by one tree (Arbor sola). Down the sides of this eminence the young people run, hand-in-hand. The pastime is rough, and not without danger, as is the case with many of the amusements of savages. At one time an annual gathering took place here, entitled the Fair, at which the wildest orgies were the order of the day. It has, however, fallen into desuetude of late years, owing, possibly, to the spread of missionaries and civilization. Another relic of the past, now consigned to oblivion, is the Pensioner (Sal vetus) who used to frequent the scene. All the old braves, who had defended their country on the sea, were sent to live in a large building, where they were supplied with wooden legs (and very little else), and sent into the park, to inspire patriotic sentiments in the bosoms of the boys of the country. They earned a precarious living and an occasional screw of tobacco (Nicotiana fumabilis) by lending out long tubes through which they alleged the visitor could survey the surrounding country, and by telling long and highly-coloured stories of their experiences. The tales were known locally as "bangers," a word probably derived from a native verb signifying "to make a report." Land of the brown breaded whitebait and the iced punch, of the crisp and to-be-deftly picked s'rimp, and the mild and innocuous tea, I am tolerably well acquainted with thee! Land of the iced whitebait and brown-breaded punch, of the deftlybe-packed tea, mild 'nocuous s'rimp! I have visi-revisited thee, with view t' revisiting-no, reviving impressions 'bout you. I'm on toltole'bly good speaking trumpets should say speaking terms, with both of you. Hic! Pers(ano)evering. WHY was it that ADMIRAL PERSANO declined to expose himself to danger at the battle of Lissa? Because he preferred keeping " Mens sana in corpore Per-sano." "FUN" may be obtained in Paris every Wednesday of MASSES. KIRKLAND AND Co., No. 27, Rue de Richelieu. London: Printed by JUDD & GLASS, Phoenix Works, St. Andrew's Hill, Doctors' Commons, and Published (for the Proprietor) by W. ALDER, at 80, Fleet-street, E.C.May 18, 1867. TELLIGENCE. ESS FOR HIMSELF. L REPOSITORY, HORSELAYDOWN. ll those which may have inquired, mers in the spirit of a brother man, uo you are now in a position to bove address, where all the chief and the Times lent to read. I was ast week, it is true; but, my dear ill remind you as Rome was not Hental Repository, which I had to and between ourselves it has got a me have it cheap. Your artist, ctable young man for his position hing better on the premises at the which, I am afraid, as it was a little Our artist, Sir, will tell you that of fashion, the mould of form, and , is quietly converted into an honest to sell you a penny Sunday paper, , and not unlikely for to ultimately I got my capital. I got it, my dear ere least expected. At a time when - a ten-pound note was treated with ou would never have seen the money to lend it!-at that time, Sir, who elative, of whom I have frequently , perhaps, with that warm affection ell he knows as I have always really and blunt, which I will transcribe - any assistance whatever, you will hough you have treated your best e, they have no desire to see you in ther chance. You are not absolutely 1 attention you may pick up a decent k to business; keep yourself sober; plainly put, Sir, was it not? and so Sir! alth, in a bumper! And yours, whilst we'll fill another glass, to the land! 1 honours. , it is a name, or rather an appellaout of my own head, on account of THE SECOND. HE E. K. A. a. S. S. λ. F. G. stock, Sir, what should I see but a =s, Sittingbourne, and Faversham Guarhave recently been having words that the East Kent, &c., &c., &c., can conspicious, position, MESSRS. JUDD enough, and strong enough, and wise ! The Sheerness Guardian, if he will y, I will say nothing about back nume rosy wine. all, it appears that "Nicholas" must have n of "the old man honourable," for having only in spirit, we had better, perhaps, say eference to "spirit" as a personal reflection. ly somewhat out of spirits. We wish him One thing we admire in the "old man's" a he took in purchasing a current copy of the =, Sittingbourne, and Faversham Guardian, sherry," a referfore he complained of the " d have put him in possession of information aint by directing him where to get some good K would say, is to be has ever been taken by the inhabitants to bring its real Well, Sir, I dare say as the Sheerness Guardian is quite right; and though he do not catch me, not at the Prophet's present period, awalking along Sheppy Beach, yet I am glad as he have made things pleasant. But, Sir, there is a old cove in the same paper, which he actually signs hisself "The Writer of the Article on the Luxembourg Question," and than whom a more wicious old public journalist never tried to ruin a humble Prophet. This old cock, Sir, if such he may be called, is very angry because I said his literary style was exactly like mine, which it is, but he do not see the compliment. He imagines as I said as he was ungrammatical, whereas what I really said was that he wrote exactly like your Prophet. I ain't ungrammatical, am I? Just let this wicious old man, however, speak for himself, verbatim et literatim. "If the contributer to Fun will only get some charity schoolboy to parse for him Now, look here; I ain't a-going for to stand it! If the "Writer of the CHAPTER THE THIRD. FROM the spirited delineation, Sir, given by your Artist, the public You sent them Gladiateur, who's still alive; Sending Lord Lyon and the Bribery Colt? While the Old Man proclaims One, Two, and Three! First in the line of sight appears Vauban, At the Oriental Repository, Horselaydown! NICHOLAS. The P.S.-Do not forget, "The Oriental Repository," Horselaydown. T Tabards A Abbot Iser Lorelei Runnymede E CORRECT SOLUTIONS OF ACROSTIC No. 9, RECEIVED 15TH MAY:- A For-Lorne State of Affairs. HAD the Trip to the Tropics of LORD LORNE been as widely read as it deserves to be, we feel assured that the public would not have so readily laughed at the Jamaica Committee and its stories of the atrocities perpetrated in the island. What will our readers say to such a combination of butchery and brewery as is shadowed forth in the following quotation ? "My informant has seen little flogging on the estate on which he was engaged. When they flogged, however, it was laid on pretty tight; the lash, a long flaxen thong, being so vigorously applied, that blood was drawn freely. Six hundred and forty hogsheads were made on the estate." We cannot quite reconcile his lordship's statement about the small amount of flogging with the idea of the six hundred and forty hogsheads of blood made on the estate. Either the Jamaica planter behaves very badly to his African, or LORD LORNE treats his English with ignorance, that fruitful source of barbarity. Turf Note. THE ignorance of the black-leg is proverbial. The fraternity, it is well known, have mistaken the meaning of the famous spelling-book description of the horse. They read it "the horse is a nobble animal." Our Better Halves. WHY do ladies prefer to lay wagers in gloves.-Because they like to have a hand in the betting. WHY ought an aquatic Palestine be like one of FORTNUM AND |