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Erin (to Mercy):-"SURE IT'S MIGHTY KIND OF MY SISTER ENGLAND-BUT I HOPE IT'S NOT ALL SHE'S GOING TO DO FOR ME!" [And perhaps if England would do her Justice, we should hear no more of disaffection.

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Fun (to Sir John P*k*ngt n):-" COME, SIR, THE VOLUNTEERS WERE NOT INTENDED AS TOYS FOR

POLITICAL PARTIES. HADN'T YOU BETTER TEAR UP THAT CIRCULAR OF YOURS ?"

THE ANTIPODES.

ACT I. SCENE 1.-Mrs. Murray Seymour's Fête Champêtre on the Thames. Enter CAPTAIN MOWBRAY DARCUS.

CAPT. DARCUS.-I am a Polished Scoundrel, and I get my living by betting against Derby favourites and then hocussing them. When passing under the name of Goodge I tried it on with Flying Scud, but failed. Here comes my minion, Duck-fingered Joe.

Enter DUCK-FINGERED JOE, very ragged. DARCUS.-You are called Duck-fingered because your first and second fingers of both hands are joined by a web.

ness.

Enter CLINCH.

CLINCH. I came out here to take up Darcus for attempting to hocus a horse. I'm not quite clear about the law on the subject, and it certainly don't seem quite worth while-but (nerving himself) this is weak[Exit CLINCH. Enter MADELINE. MADELINE.-I came out here with Mr. Seymour, my supposed [Exit MADELINE. Re-Enter All the Characters. ALL THE CHARACTERS (to each other).-YOU here!!! GENERAL. Then Madeline must be my daughter!

father.

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Joe.-Ha! How knew you this? (With all his fingers very wide (Detective flies to the other side of the Continent to mature his plans against

apart.)

DARCUS. No matter. Have you hocussed the next Derby favourite? JOE. I have! [Points with both his forefingers. DARCUS. Then go into that summer-house. (Exit DUCK-FINGERED JOE into summer-house, holding cigar between first and second fingers.)

Enter HON. SAM STRANGEWAYS, and MISKIN, his groom, in a page's hat. SAM.-Darcus, I am your accomplice.

DARCUS.-You are, Honourable Sam. The horse is hocussed. SAM.-It has just occurred to me that it is hardly fair to hocus a horse against which you have laid heavy odds.

gyurl

DARCUS (curling all over with sneers).-Milk-faced SAM (mildly, but firmly).-Darcus, I am no gyurl. DARCUS.-Pshaw! I will go into the summer-house and eat pie with Duck-fingered Joe.

SAM. This shall to the executive.

[Does so.

Enter GENERAL MONTHERMER and CLINCH, a detective. SAM.-General, your horse has been hocussed, and the villains are concealed in that summer-house. GEN.-Ha! Have at them?

[Is about to rush into summer-house. CLINCH (Detective).-Hush. Not so. What would you do? GEN.-I would give the villains into custody! CLINCH.-Ha! ha! No, no, sir-that's not the way to do it. I'll show you how to catch 'em. Away, away with me, two or three counties off!

(They away together and of course CAPTAIN DARCUS escapes from the summer-house immediately.) DARCUS.-Discovered! But I have a skiff handy, on the Thames, and I will now to Canvas Town, with a distant view of Melbourne. [Gets into skiff and rows to Australia. Enter MR. SEYMOUR and the GENERAL. SEYMOUR.-My name is really C. Moore. I was a convict once, but made a pot of money in Australia.

GEN.-I have just been appointed to an important post in Canvas Town, with a distant view of Melbourne, and must start at once. [Exit to Canvas Town. Enter DUCK-FINGERED JOE from summer-house. JOE.-Now to escape to Canvas Town. [Interlaces his fingers. SEYMOUR.-Ha, I perceive that you are duck-fingered. (Mournfully) I had a son who was duck fingered! JOE.-Then I am he. [They embrace. Enter MRS. SEYMOUR and MADELINE, and guests. SEYMOUR.-Behold our son! By the way, I forgot to mention that I have just lost my colossal fortune, so there is nothing for it but to go back to Canvas Town, with a distant view of Melbourne, and make MRS. SEYMOUR.-Away to Canvas Town, with a distant view of

another.

Melbourne.

away!

MADELINE.-To Canvas Town with a distant view of Melbourne, (Guests cheer, and imply, in pantomime, that they are prepared to accompany SEYMOUR to the uttermost ends of the earth. Tableau.) ACT II. SCENE 1.-Canvas Town; with a distant view of Melbourne. Enter the GENERAL.

GENERAL.-I have come to take up my appointment at Canvas Town with a distant view of Melbourne. [Exit GENERAL. Enter MISKIN. MISKIN.-I have left the Hon. Sam's service and have engaged [Exit MISKIN.

with the General. That's how I'm here.

Enter CAPTAIN DARCUS. DARCUS.-I came out here to get out of the way of Clinch. [Exit DARCUS. Enter MR. SEYMOUR. SEYMOUR.-I came out here to make more money.

[Exit MR. SEYMOUR. Enter DUCK-FINGERED JOE. (Pointing with forefingers.) JOE.-I came out here with my new-found father. [Exit JOE. Enter HON. SAM STRANGEWAYS. HON. SAM.-I came out here because I lost money on the last Derby. [Exit SAM STRANGEWAYS.

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Enter some diggers.

DIGGERS. Give him up!
SAM.-Never!

ALL.-Then away to Dead Man's Gully!

SCENE THE LAST.-Dead Man's Gully. Enter All the Characters. ALL THE CHARACTERS (to each other).-YOU here!!! CLINCH.-The moment has at length arrived! (to DARCUS) Villain, you are my prey! DARCUS.-Never.

[Pitches him into a waterfall (Everybody discharges pistols. General engagement. Defeat of both sides. and concluding tableau suggestive of the TRIUMPH OF PHYSICAL, SUPERIORITY. Curtain.

OURSELVES.-Disconnected nonsense, made up of Never Too Late to Mend, Flying Scud, and the tossing halfpenny from Box and Cox. Very well played by MR. EMERY, but he should remember that he is duckfingered; nicely by MR. E. PRICE, pleasantly by MISS E. TERRYpoor MISS SAUNDERS, the cleverest lady-low-comedian on the stage, has nothing to do. Piece very handsomely mounted, and scenery all good.

Iron-ical.

A FRIEND of ours has been reading the prospectus which was wrapped round his bottle of Diastatized Iron. In it he has found it stated that the preparation in question is produced by making a certain vegetable seed absorb a solution of iron prepared in such a manner that the iron is made organic-become vitalized by the diastasis of the germinating grain. Struck by the novelty and simplicity of the operation, he has sown some of the preparation in his garden and is looking forward to a crop of nails or a growth of fire-irons.

Put that in your Pipe!

poisonous flies in Transylvania, and stated that the farmers have to THE Advertiser the other day gave an account of the appearance of keep their beasts shut up, with large fires burning round their sheds to keep off the winged pests. It added:-"The men in charge of the fires have the greatest difficulty in saving themselves from the venemous will DEAN CLOSE say to that? Perhaps the discovery may convert attacks of these insects, and find tobacco the best preservative." What him. We should like to see "a wreath "-of smoke" so gracefully curl" around his head-and no flies!

A Suggestion.

There

IN these days of realistic dramas, we think it would not be a bad "sensation" for the proprietor of the Holborn Theatre to arrange the performance of the Antipodes so that the actors should walk about inhabitants of the Antipodes are doing so at this very moment, as we head-downwards, à la OLMAR. There can be no difficulty, as the should see if we could look through the globe beneath us. would be nothing in this that the audience could object to, since they do not know, owing to the confused construction of the piece, whether they are standing on their heads or their heels. We gladly place the suggestion at the disposal of MR. TOM TAYLOR, who, it is notorious, is always ready to take a hint or anything else he can get-from any one (foreigners not excepted) for his "original" dramas.

VERY APPROPRIATELY.-If Greece and Rome are represented at the French Exhibition, might not their productions be appropriately ranged in "class six"?

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Jan:-"WEATHER'S TURNED MILD, TOM. I HEERD THE GOOKOO YES' DAY!" 1 Tom:-"GIT 'LONG! A TWO-LEGGED GOOKOO, I RECK'N!" Jan:-"NoA, "TWASN'T. "TWAS A PROPER GOOKOO, I'LL ZWEAR!"

OUR LIBRARY TABLE.

GENIUS never dies! Like the Brahma of Hindoo fable, it may seem to perish, but it only migrates, to manifest itself-not always, it is true, with the same intensity-in new forms. In the bard of "100,000 welcomes" we catch a glimpse of the avatar of PYE; and the now forgotten author of an extinct book called The Season, was a little-not a TOM LITTLE, but a very little-replica of the obscure bard who first brought fame to Holywell-street.

The book which suggests these observations is entitled Patriotic Part Songs, arranged and adapted by JAMES TILLEARD. It contains many fine songs and some good music. "Gaudeamus," "The March of the Men of Harlech," "God Save the Queen"-with other popular lays-may well make up a good book of music, and MR. TILLEARD seems to have done his part carefully and well. But, though we can recommend the publication for these reasons, they are not the only grounds on which it earns our good word. We have long looked-and looked in vain-for a successor to the genius of STERNHOLD and HOPKINS-of TAIT and BRADY. For a long time we feared that the mantle-it was of fustian-which belonged to those great writers had not fallen upon anybody in our time. We are glad to hail MR. F. T. PALGRAVE as the intellectual heir of the two brace of bards we have named-he is TAIT and BRADY-he is STERNHOLD and HOPKINS, or rather those "two single gentlemen rolled into one," as our readers, we feel sure, will at once admit when they read his "poems" in the publication under notice. Some of the peculiarities of the old bards live again in these stirring lyrics. We trace their direct inspiration over and over again-when, as in "The Island" our poet speaks of " unfurling a light"- -a figure which genius alone could suggest or when, with that lofty disregard for grammar which distinguished the ancient writers, he tells us in "England's Heroes," of people whose "life and death was glory" and "who conquered not though slain" as he tells us in another verse, which is an original thought! "Dead men tell no tales" is an old saw-" Dead men win no battles" is a modern instance. In another poem, "a National Song," we have England thus apostrophised :

"Ark of Freedom! Glory's Dwelling!
Let thy heart be strong in thee,
God is with thee, wrong repelling;
He alone thy champion be."

A minor genius, untramelled by the necessities of rhyme, would have been tempted to say "thy champion is." But STERNHOLD, HOPKINS, TAIT, BRADY, and PALGRAVE know better than that! They scorn the fetters rhyme would impose on inferior poets, who would never think of soaring as does the last-named of that glorious quintette-to such a sublimity as :"We sing the glorious morning,

When France and Spain at dawning." Ordinary people would have hesitated to strike this glorious blow for freedom from the tyranny of rhyme. The author of "Trafalgar " rushes in where they fear to tread. Genius solves the difficulty-prothe shades of STERNHOLD and BRADY, TAIT and HOPKINS smile on the nounce "dawning as if spelt "dorning" and the thing is done, and triumph of their intellectual offspring. The same artifice meets us in "Wellington," where "afar" and "hurrah" are wedded together, as if their marriage had been made in heaven instead of Cockaigne! We will close our notice with a quotation from " Wellington," which will exemplify the smoothness of MR. PALGRAVE'S versification as well as to the loftiness of his thoughts and style:

"But his battle fields are over, and Peace crown'd his life:
'Twas her cause that he fought for, why sing then of strife?
For Peace and for England: her sons and her king:
For us 'twas he conquer'd: his glories we sing.
Yuheirasasa: shout his praises afar:

The hero of heroes: we hail him: hurrah!"

To be serious :-it would be too severe, perhaps, to insist that all who slay fat cattle should themselves be fat, but it is not too much to demand that no man should be considered qualified to mutilate the poems of great writers by omitting verses that are " rather ingenious than poetical," until he has proved that he has a sufficient acquaintance with the simplest rules of versification to preserve him from writing such despicable doggrel as CATNACH Would blush to be accused of, and Seven Dials would hasten to repudiate.

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