Town Talk.

BY THE SAUNTERER IN SOCIETY.

AST and furious becomes the pace at which the Commons are getting over the Reform Bill. Even the Sheffield disclosures do not make them pause and hesitate in their rapid extension of the franchise. The fact is, that there is a great democratic agent at work, who induces legislators to hasten the bill -to break down all prudential barriers-to go in for universal suffrage if called upon. "Who is this agent?"

No! not MR. BRIGHT. It is the Grouse, that knowing bird! M.P.'s are determined to be in time to meet him, if they don't care about meeting their constituents. So, ere long, we may expect to see those noble chiefs, "the handsome Youngman-Dizzy" (as LONGFELLOW has it) and the Ur-lo-Dar-bee (as FENNIMORE COOPER would write it) dancing their dance of triumph. For they have gone on the war-path, and lifted the scalps of their enemies, and there is consternation in the Whig-wams of their opponents!

THERE has been some pretty rioting of late; St. James's Hall and Birmingham have both been the scenes of violence. Does it ever strike MR. WALPOLE, when he reads of these disturbances, that the taste for displays of physical force was first brought to life by his mismanagement of the Hyde Park affair? It really seems as if since that time the rough element has lost no opportunity of a row. In the St. James's Hall contest it is difficult to say which side behaved worse; but in the Birmingham matter, I must say I think very small potatoes of the Murphyites-and the fact that MR. WHALLEY, who has so long refused to sing at the invitation of the House of Commons, should become the Tyrtæus of fanatical violence does not incline me more favourably towards them. What a pity it is that with all our missions and societies we have no society for the diffusion of gentle-manliness. If that creed had more followers the world would have less bigotryborn rancours, and differences of religious opinion would not beget hatred, or create coolnesses among friends. If any one would but start a mission for "the propagation of gentle-manliness," I'd willingly go round with the hat for it, and head the subscription listwith a quotation :

"Ev'n the poor Pagan's homage to the Sun
I would not harshly scorn, lest even there
I spurned some elements of Christian pray'r--
An aim, tho' erring, at a world ayont'-
Acknowledgment of good, of man's futility-
A sense of need and weakness, and indeed
That very thing so many Christia s want--
Humility!"

I HAVE received from MESSRS. WARNE and COMPANY a most tasteully turned-out volume-The Home Book. In the preface, the editor, BS. VALENTINE, gives a very clear but modest explanation of its aim, ind the book certainly is what it professes to be one that is a guide o amusements, as well as employments, for home. It is comprehensive nough in scope, beginning with directions for making flower-chains nd flower-dolls, and finishing with engraving, wood-carving, and nodelling. Home games, pastimes, and pursuits have all a share; nd gardening and faney work are not forgotten. No more complete ook of the sort has ever appeared. It is, moreover, well got up, and lentifully illustrated by the DALZIEL BROTHERS.

THE Second Exhibition of National Portraits at South Kensington no better than the first, save that the catalogue is not such a disderly bungle as the last one. But the snobbish rule about "cataguing portraits as described by owners" is still adhered to, so that le collection is valueless, for the student has no means of ascertaining hich portraits are authentic and which forgeries. There are some

fine pictures in the gallery, however;-nothing more charming, to my mind, than Gainsborough's portrait of his wife; as fresh as if it had been painted yesterday. When affection inspires genius, the results are imperishable! The gallery is utterly unsuited for pictures-especially old and faded ones. It was just like the Boilers people to turn the Refreshment Rooms of the '62 barn into picture galleries. The windows look out on the Horticultural Gardens, which are quite like an unfinished burial-ground, catacombs included. They look terribly bare and neglected;-the grounds of the Crystal Palace are a Paradise compared with them. Creditable that to the Horticultural Society!

I NEED do no more, I am sure, than draw the attention of my readers to the announcement elsewhere in these columns of a performance for the benefit of the widowed mother of the late Paul Gray, whose graceful pencil has delighted so many in the early volumes of this series. Circumstances have arisen which necessitate a slight change in the programme given last week; but the entertainment will, I feel sure, repay those who "do so much for charity" as to take tickets for the 6th inst.

LOVERS of art should look at the recent numbers of the Chronicle, which contain most interesting papers on "Japanese Fine Art." Verbum sap!

THE PROGRESS OF REFORM.

WHEN the Bill began to pass

GLADSTONE sneer'd at Tory tricks,
Adverse journals sigh'd, "Alas!
Now the Whigs are in a fix."

Tories praised it long and loud,
Liberals were stern and sore;
BEALES harangued a gaping crowd,
GLADSTONE only sneer'd the more.
Members throng'd the guilty cave,
To the Tea-room Members came,
And the Government to save
There they playe' a tricksy game.
To Hyde Park Reformers went,
In the train of BEALES, M.A.,
WALPOLE giving sad consent
To the rowdy holiday.
HODGKINSON rose in his place,
With a dire amendment fired;
DIZZY with a smiling face,
Yielded all the House desired.
MILL with gallantry sincere,
Would have giv'n the ladies votes,
Could we to a shell-like ear
Whisper such discordant notes,
As election tricks would need,
With the rough election fun?
Though with logic MILL could plead,
No majority was won.

Now new sleight of hand they try,
While they redistribute seats;
Boroughs rise and Boroughs die,
While they keep official sweets.
Lowe looks on through all the years,
Still democracy's sworn foe.
Draw a veil o'er GLADSTONE's tears,
And the howls of BEALES AND Co.

DOUBLE ACROSTIC.

No. 17.

STRANGE product of our boastful time,

This terrible and secret crime;

And sadden'd every true man feels,

As every day fresh sin reveals.

When such societies hold rule,

To teach men in a sinful school,

To do dark deeds, the Law's strong hand

Should sweep such plague-spots from the land.

1.

You draw to the table with satisfied heart,
And call for the waiter to bring you the carte;
'Mid all the good dishes no entrée you miss,
In French you may sum up the viands in this.

2.

He called with agonizing cry,
But lost his lovely daughter;
And blame him for the rhyme for I
Would never have used "water."
3.

We know him, one of the Abbassides,
Great swells and caliphs, who once lived at ease.

4.

She was fair of course, and stunning,
With a name like classic punning,

And a great prince dared to leave her
For I've school-boy recollections
That she flopp'd her young affections
On a very gay deceiver.

CORRECT SOLUTIONS OF ACROSTIC No. 15, RECEIVED JUNE 26:- Nikn áπтepos; Bumblepuppy; Cerevino; Two Happy Thoughts; Rosa L. B.; H. H. and R. R. H.; Semi-Lunar; Sy: C.; The Select Few; Bitter Beer; Brains, Sir; Clapham Junction; Boooots; A. de M.; Two Cousins; Benhill; Samoth Egatton; Little Woman; Sciatica; Warming Pan; Mattybob; Et plui super unam civitatem; J. H. B.; Old Trafford; E. A. M. F.; H. B.; Leal Robison; Snip; Hurlothrumbo; Dies; W. D., Jockey Club; Y. Y. X., Thames Ditton; Tzatleco; Gyp; Bonetellis, L'pool; Galusheana; The Gov.; O. K., Brighton; A Voice from Bradbourne; Mashed Turnips; A Horned Owl; Jibjobbey; Two Scotchmen; Coombes, Edgbaston; Tifey; Brick Court; Nem; Antonio Pilcher; Cockil; N. P. M. C.; O. and Sons; N. B. and M.; Birdham Mud-Cockle; Bankside; F. M.; Two Gals; Talyllyn; Three Fools; Portobello; Nanny's Pet; Ginger; E. T.; W. C. B. O.; Edie; P. R.; F. W.; C. M. S.; F. J. G. W.; The Scaramouches; T. W. O.; Grophus; Constance; R. W. A.; Sergeant Marksman; Paravassa; No. 155; Right Again; Three Duffers; Singlewell Imperial; D. E. H.; Two Biled Owls; Kizmeus; D. M. D. and M. C.; Lechuza; Snuff box; A Clever Cockroach; Dio dell'or; Tsatlee; Blue-tailed Fly: Ruby; G. J. R. & H. H. R.; Tootle four; Mae and Tommy; Te tane o te Piki; Hamish and Breakside; Fosco; Four Boobies; H. D. B.

"OH, I SEES !"-When the Isis changes its identity, is it by a process of me- -Themes-ychosis?

HERE'S A GO!

"Go!" cries the starter on the course, In accents loud and clear;

Away they scurry, man and horse,
And wildly rings the cheer!

"Go!" cries the gallant to his page,
When he would orders send;
"Go!" cries the victim, in a rage,
To his perfidious friend!

"Ago!-too long ago, alas!"

So mournful memory cries;

"A go!"-whereby he means a glassThe brandy-drinker sighs.

But when at cribbage twenty-two, In playing, scores your foeYou've only tens-what can you do, But murmur-"There's a go?"

SINGULARITY.

We are but units in the mighty whole
Which aggregates to millions in the sum
Of individual being: yet we come
To none alike! but each, from pole to pole,
As long as earth, or sun, or moon shall roll-
Whether in Heathen-ness or Christendom-
In deepest life; or being's lightest scum,
Ie singular in body and in soul.

But one chief form of singularity
Ever existed underneath the sun-
And will exist as long as man shall be-
For he has ever since was earth begun
Made it a rule of living, constantly

To take the greatest care of NUMBER ONE.

A-MEWS-ING.-What adventure made DICK WHITTINGTON's fortune ?-A purr-adventure.

The Testimonial Mania.

We havo just dropt upon this in an old number of an Arbroath

paper:

"PRESENTATION.-On Monday evening, the workers in the preparing department of Wellgate Mill-MR. DOUGLAS FRASER'S-presented their foreman, MR. RICHARD PROCTER, with two silk handkerchiefs, as a token of their respect and esteem. Ma. PROCTER suitably acknowledged the unexpected compliment."

We cannot help thinking that the solemn manner, in which our Northern contemporary records this, is just a sample of Scotch "wut." Really the testimonial folly has been rampant long enough, and it is time the dodge were blown on, as it is by this grave registering of the two bandannas.

Answers to Correspondents.

[We cannot return rejected MSS. or sketches unless they are accompanied by a stamped and directed envelope.]

F. B. S.-Your joke upon "Poor lean" and "Pauline" is simply dreadful-it is Best-ial!

"FITZ-IVAN WALKS IN"-to the waste-paper basket. HUM!-You are.

W. J. M.-"The Costermonger to his Donkey," is Greek to us-or at all events He-bray-ic.

sifted the dust of ages are of no use to us. "HIGHBURY NEW PARK."-Riddles should be new-those that have

R. C., Rochdale.-Your "indisposed conundrum" is but an ill riddle. A. P. E.-Please explain!

R. L. P., Houghton.-You really Houghton-to do so.

"THE SECRET BY THE SEA" cannot be breathed by us. We are oceantide to secre-sea.

ANON.-Shall be inserted-anon. Not before, that would be too much of

anon-er.

G. A. P.-How could a G. A. P. expect to fill a corner in FUN?

E. K., Cambridge.-Might be inserted were E K-pable of writing comic copy.

J. H., Hampstead.-Very comic-but appeared in FUN some time since. O. S.-The" Dholl" may be an Indian instrument, we only know it as a Derby ornament.

GHOST.-Clearly not the ghost of a joke.

SPES.-Being 'Ope you evidently won't be shut-up.

J. B., Prospect Lodge.-Has no prospect of lodging in our columns. GARÇON.-Which is French for "Weighter"-a little too heavy, but if you will send, the MS. waits you.

W. W.-Illegible.

JOEY BAGSHOT-Be comforted.

M. S. M., Great Portland-street.-A good idea, but too niggardly carried out in the verse.

MANCHESTER X.-If you send us anything good enough. Declined with thanks,-R. B. N., Liverpool; J. E. L., Eton; G. M., Dunkenfield; A Punster; J. R., Commercial-road; X. Y. X., Dublin; M. D., Clerkenwell; A. S. E.; "At your service;" C. J. C., Longdale; S. F. C.; A Reader; H.; Tom Tite, Peckham; R. B., Sloane-street; H. R.'S., Liverpool; Pede; J. S.; H. R., Kilburn Priory; H. E. A.; W. P.; F. H. E.; S. Y., Dublin; O. E. R., Clapham Common; G. B. K.; "Tom-that's me;" R. S., Northampton; D. O. N., Upper Baker-street; F. G. S.

THE PARIS EXHIBITION. WROTE ON A BENCH IN THE JARDINS OF THE PALLIASS ROYAL, PARIS.

DEAR 'LIZA,-Me and BoB is parted company since I've been going about in a turban and top-boots, which for baseness I don't know ROBERT's equal, for to chaff me and say I looked like a Turkey rubub merchant as used to be in the Minories, when it was all his fault. Says I, pretty quick, "Well, I ain't a-goin' to be a Turkey sponge, so you go your ways and I'll go mine." It was all through him and his goins' on with that young party as died her hair in the bitter beer bar, which, as I told you, he called her NEKILLINA, and was that sweet upon that one day, when he sees a old indiwiddle a-makin' up to her, ROBERT he behaved improper, a-speaking of the elderly person as a "potterin' old tout," as the gal sets off gigglin', and the party hisself uses language wot the Italians calls sort of vokey. I'm blest if I didn't think I'd seen the old bloke before, and I remimber now as I'd seen him about the ruins down in Farrin'don-street, where the sportin' publicans and that lot used to be a-waitin' for NEWCOME-or else at the place where the bloomin' pork butcher giv the tips, by the name of NICHOLAS; he'd giv an' take the hods for shillin's an' sixpences, but seems to have made a hat-full, or else what brings him here? Well it must ha' been NICHOLAS as revenged hisself by giving the office to the sourjohndevils to make me a marked man, for calling out "Waterloo" in the face of BONYPARTY'S statute. Anyways, I've been obliged to make my lucky for a time, and that disguised for all BOB says it's all rubbish, in a left-off turban as I give a quartern o' rum for to a Zoohalf, and the top boots as I borrowed of a chap as used to be at the horse repository in Barbican, and is now in the Rooshun stables a drinkin' of his beer with his betters. These disguises, with a loose sort of a bedgown, which the French calls a pig-gnaw, and a false beard, as hangs to my ears with a couple of wire hooks, is what I'm come to, and only go out of evenin's for the hair. But law! I'm blest

if I ain't better off than I've been since here I come; for I can git a bit o' vittles now in quiet without havin' to go to that blessed Exhibition every day, as was reg'lar slavery. This Palis Royle bangs it holler I can tell you, as is somethink like the Lowther Arcade put inside of the new park at Kennington, and as for shops, by GEORGE, there's more to see here than there is at the other place, for all as MR.

COLE, Considerable Bumptious may think. As to grub, why there's a place here by the name of Tissot Coffee dell o' Regency they call it, where there's alleymode beef as is as good as ever I eat at WILLIAMS' in the Old Bailey; and as for mussels-a many I've had out of a sarcer in Smithfield when I was a boy, but not to equal these, as I breakfast on reg'lar. The Pallis Royle's the place for my money. as there's lots o' company, a military band, and no end of children with their nussmaids, as they call buns, goodness knows why, except because some of em's so precious crummy. I must have my joke, you know. SAM TROTTLE.

THE SONG OF THE HONEST M.P.

WE change our political fashions,

As ladies change bonnet or dress;
We pander to popular passions,

And feign the sincerest distress,
When ancient Whig leaders turn Tory,
Conservatives chum with the cad,
And mighty reformers gain glory
By sending Reform to the bad.
There's Dizzy, with dodges erratic,
Is going in hot for Reforms;
And BRIGHT growing aristocratic
Against a residuum storms.
The troubles of Redistribution
Will last to the end of July;
Till quite in a state of solution,

With heat, to the moors we shall fly.
We've work on the horrid Committees
They mock us by calling "Select."
Whenever a club crony pities

The Member electors reject,
I sigh for that happy one's freedom
Who envies his senator friends,
With agents to worry and bleed 'em,
And nothing to make them amends.
Men talk of the good of the nation,
And prate of the patriot's work,
It's strange if the queer legislation,
And all the dull duties I shirk,

Conduce to the national honour,
How England the better can be
For duffers thus foisted upon her
By wholesale corruption-like me.

The Dean's English.

WE have been rather amused to read, in a northern paper, an account of the distribution of prizes at the High School of Carlisle. The report winds up thus:

"The proceedings were brought to a close by the usual votes of thanks followed by the singing of the National Anthem, and the customary rounds of cheers. The jury returned a verdict of Accidental Death.'"

We could not understand the incoherency of this until we noticed the phrase "brought to a CLOSE." Of course the well-known Dean inspires the absurdity.

Portugal-lantry.

We see it announced that the KING OF PORTUGAL has started on a tour"having at last obtained the consent of the Cortes to leave the country." Happy King! There are many monarchs who would have no difficulty in obtaining the consent of their people to their leaving the country for any length of time. Still we must say that we do not envy His Majesty who can only get leave for a holiday as an act of Cortes-y.

The Long and Short of it.

SUPPOSING ANAK to be as he is stated the tallest man living, why is he like a daily contemporary?

Because he must have "the largest circulation in the world."

R