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should not have time to fold them properly before turn ng out to drill before

Town Talk.

“ROBINSON CRUSOE" AT THE HAYMARKET. a twopenny-halfpenny increase of pay with the utter lack of care and

decency, which left the poor fellows at Hounslow from morn till night OUR readers will, we feel sure, be glad to learn that the performance without provisions, yet within easy distance of London. Nor is that on the 6th instant was completely successful, and that a handsome sum the only thing. Some one belonging to a crack regiment wrote recently has been realised for Mrs. Gray. Of the merits or demerits of the to the United Service Gazette, and here is a summary of what he burlesque or its actors we cannot of course speak, but we have to says: acknowledge the most kindly recognition of our efforts by the Press “If any vindictive underling will put a man's name down in the Minors' every generally. Fun, as a comic paper; has occasionally to say sharp day, the strange result may be obtained of a good, obedient soldier kept at punishthings about its contemporaries, which might well beget enmities; but

ment-drill all the year round. A towel or blanket with a wrinkle in it, a brush

placed on the wrong side of the boots under the cott-these are samples of the to the honour of journalism in every instance we have met with more

'minor irregularities' which, if reported, subject a man to so much punishment than fairness—with generosity!

drill, or club drill, or third-class drill. The writer has seen a man with twenty Our labour of love over, we have only to express our gratitude to years' service, and four good-conduct badges, at club drill. He has seen men who those who assisted us in it. The idea of a performance was mooted at

had volunteered into the regiment, with seven and eighteen years' service

respectively, at recruits' drill, which consists principally of abuse. Such is the Christmas, but circumstances to which we need not further allude

dread of this martinet system that, we are told, not ten men, on the average, in this interfered; and in the end the burlesque had to be written and pro unhappy regiment, undid their beds at night through a whole winter, for fear they duced in three weeks. Our readers will judge from this how indefatigably MR. ROBERT SOUTAR must have worked as stage manager,

daybreak." and what an amount of labour MR. WALLERSTEIN must have bestowed

My dear Sir John PAKINGTON" if he will allow me to call him on the arrangement of the music. We were—and ever shall be- | $0

so"-we may give all sorts of increase of pay at “our” Court of St. indebted to MR. O'Connor and his assistants for the scenery he painted James's, but as sure as our name is " JOHN S. PAKINGTON," while this for us; the Island was a masterpiece of scenic humour. MESSRs. | neglect and this cruelty are permitted, we may whistle for recruits. May, SIMMONS, and NATHAN must also have our warm thanks for the

The EMPEROR OF THE FRENCH has gilt his gingerbread with infinite gorgeous dresses, and MR.CLARKSON for the miraculous head-gear, trouble, and at no small expense. His gingerbread doll, made in the which gave such grotesque effect to a performance to which Miss

image of Peace and all a-flutter with Dutch metal, must have had a FURTADO 80 charmingly lent the redeeming graces.

good deal of the gilding rubbed off by the news of MAXIMILIAN'S To those members of the theatrical profession who generously gave

death. If ever a man was placed in the midst of a gang of assassins us their services in Our Wife and The Goose with the Golden Eggs, we

and left to be murdered, that man was the late EMPEROR OF Mexico. owe a debt of gratitude for allowing us " to slip our little bit o' | Experiments in civilization are che

Experiments in civilization are charming and interesting, but your nonsense under their honours' kiver," as WINIFRED JENKINS puts it. civilizing chemist when he shuts up his laboratory, should at least be We would also record our sincere acknowledgments of the zealous careful to remove his utensils. The French Emperor with a French co-operation afforded by all connected with the Haymarket, both in

| army placed MAXIMILIAN—who did not seek the Mexican crown-on front of the house and behind the scenes.

the throne of Mexico, and the French Emperor should never have withdrawn the French army without also withdrawing MAXIMILIAN from the false position into which he had seduced him. That is the plain state of the case, I take it!

So " Bart.” is simply a synonym for barter-the." open hand” of

the Baronetcy nothing better than the greedy claw of ambitious BY THE SAUNTERER IN SOCIETY.

snobbism. MR. COLE is to be raised to the Baronetcy-or rather that (in spite of some esclandres) noble order is to be dragged down to him.

Talk of your BRIGHT8 and BEALESES who want to degrade the arisNAVAL REVIEW Great | tocracy of which we are all at heart proud, though we may grumble Invasion of Belgian Volun

| at times; they do not-cannot inflict on it one title of the harm that teers, a Sultan, “with which is

is done when toadyism gets promoted in this way. Lord Mayors who incorporated" an unprecedented |

terd do infinitely better things than the Beadle of the Boilers, have to be display of fireworks at the Co.

contented with a knighthood. Would not an upper footman's place at
Crystal Palace, with I should Buckingham Palace have met the case ?
be afraid to say how many
more brilliant dissipations con-
nected with each and all of

ODE TO THE COUNTRY:
these! I rather fancy this is
enough to finish up the season

BY A COMIC WRITER.
with brilliancy, not to mention

For pensive bards it's very well that we have a Tory Govern

To sing of wooded hill and dell, ment passing a Reform Bill of

The corpland's scarlet poppy,
such wildly democratic tenden-

The hedgerow elm, the trusting trees
cies that the advanced Liberals
are all shaking in their shoes.

The prattling brook-but then you see
Such times may well be he-

It isn't comic copy.
ralded by portents, and no one,

You praise the serious poet's words it is to be presumed under the

When in his lay the song of birds circumstances, turned grey in a

He tenderly rehearses. single night upon hearing that the gigantic s o , I mean, firm of

The soaring warbler, who the dark Peto, BETTs, and others, has kindly consented to allow itself to be

Disperses, is not quite the lark conducted through the Court of Bankruptcy by a body of friends.

You want in comic verses.
The bankrupts' solicitor set the ball rolling. MEEBRE. COLEMAN,
TURQUAND, and Co. are accountants in the matter-it being a con-

His muse can chant the moos of cows, venience, of course, that MR. COLEMAN is one of the auditors of the

As in the pasture-land they browse, L. C. and D R. The official assignee is Mr. E. W. EDWARD8—late

And give you deep enjoyment. director of the L. C. and D. R. The first meeting of creditors will be

Though cattle-language low may be, held in Commissioner HOLROYD's Court-a MR. G. F. HOLROYD, said

It's not low comedy, you see, to be the Commissioner's son, being also lato director of the L. C. and

And that is my employment. D. R. The bankrupts evidently desire to act in accordance with the old maxim, which directs people not to wash their dirty linen in

The country may be very well, public. Whether the creditors of the firm will be as well satisfied

And suit your grand, poetic swell, that this very private and select laundry will “wash" is a thing that

But if by cruel fate you're remains to be seen.

A comic writer driven to be --A ROYAL warrant is always a pleasant study for lovers of the English

No joke, I fancy, will you see language. There has just been issued such a document touching In

In poking fun at outure. crease of Pay in the Army.” It is given at “onr" Court of St. James's, and signed, “ John S. Pakington.” It deals minutely with 43. 4d. and 29. 94d., and 2s. 08. It treats discursively of troop corporal

Hai-reemarkably Good ! major, and kettle drummer, saddler corporal, and shoeing smith. It is The Sultan has made a joke! Passing the shop of a well-known altogether a diffuse and delightful document. But when one reads it, coiffeur, where chignons were exposed for sale, he inquired if it was a parallel passages will suggest themselves. One cannot help contrasting | Lair-'em.

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DOUBLE ACROSTIC.

ANOTHER new magazine, Tinsley's Magasine, is announced. It is to

open with a story by Dr. Ruedeli, and a story by Mr. Yates, who, we No. 19.

believe, is to be editor. If he conducts it as well as he has Temple THEY come with gleeful faces,

Bar, the proprietor will not have to complain of want of popularity. And with military graces,

The writers whose names are mentioned in connection with the new From an independent country o'er the foam ;

venture are another guarantee of excellence. It is announced that And our welcome must be hearty,

Faskion and work plates will be given with it to propitiate the ladies

a bold experiment. Good literature has never been tried with these To this stalwart little party, And we'll send them back rejoicing to their home.

supplements, the magazines which supply such feminine requisites being as a rule contemptible from a literary point of view.

" Bowled, Sir, bowled !" "Hit, Sir-oh, finely hit, Sir!" 1.

"Fielded !" . Does the reader recollect these war-cries of Eton and BILLY, the Norman, who licked us we know,

Harrow contending on the classic arena of Lord's? If not, he has At Hastings some hundreds of summers ago;

missed, during all that has yet elapsed of his shockingly incomplete Had a soul above war and did good in his time,

and uncultivated existence, one of the prettiest sights that England Where, as here, they owed to him the pleasant kirk-chime.

has to show him. If, however, like a sensible man and an honest

cricketer, he has gone up to the School Match every year, he will be 2.

glad to hear of a pleasantly gossipping little book on the subject. DUPREZ we know first sang this part,

“The Public School Matches and Those we Meet There" is published That since has thrilled and moved each heart;

by Messrs. RouTLEDGE. The author, “An Old Wykebamist,” preA Scottish author shares the fame,

fers to be anonymous; but ho gives his initials, “F. G.," and those That brightens the musician's name.

who are specially interested in the matter may easily hunt him down

by looking at the list of Wykehamist elevens some six-and-twenty 3.

years ago. To less ardent inquirers after truth, we may simply say I hate and detest agricultural toil

that the book is one of the pleasantest of its kind that has been pubThough it's pleasant to work in so fruitful a soil.

lished for many a day. Its humour is genial, unforced, and eminently 4.

sympathetic; the author's thorough knowledge of the grand old

gare is shown by incidental touches much more effectively than by Surely an object for much contemplation,

any formal or pedantic preachments; and no good cricketer will like Here come the people of every nation.

it the less because the author gushes into Latin verses at the end. Say you confuse both your grammar and tenges,

Cricketing and scholarship have gone well together in many other This in an editor's eyes the offence is.

cascs than that of “F. G." A better book for those glorious old 6.

country parsons who come up to Town to see the Bohool Match could A swell barbaric in an ancient play,

hardly be desired ; and as there can scarcely be less than three thouWho was brought over in a curious way,

Band British parsons present at Lord's on the great days, the mere To all the joys of educated life,

clerical circulation of the book should be something onormous. Apart

from its cricketing chapters, there are some sketches of school-life at And, happy chieftain, also got a wife.

Winchester in the old days which are eminently bright, fresh, and 6.

readable. In a word, the book is one by a clever and genial geatleA herald's scroll unfold,

man on an unhackneyed and most interesting there.
And these things you see there,
Of argent or of gold,

COVENT-GARDEN,
Of azure or of vair.

BY A LOVER OF PoE-ETRY.
ANSWER TO Acrostic No. 17.

A GARDEN of gardens, it teaches
M Menu

The bard, over blatant, to bless
U Ullin

The pumpkins, the plums, and the peaches,
R Rahdi

The salads not easy to dress;
D Dido

Pears, pumpkies, and pulpiest peaches,
E Even

Camellia, and cabbage, and cross,
R Reels

The pumpkins, the pippins, the peaches,
SOLUTIONS OF ACROSTIC No. 17, received 10th July.-Nonc correct.

Cut cabbage, and crisply-curled cress !

Oh, of luscious luxurious lunches,
OUR LIBRARY TABLE.

The poet loves one lunch, and that's
THERE is not a more charming book in its way than Boswell's Life

Of bananas in bountiful bunches, of Johnson. It is not a book to sit down and read through, but a

And melons as big as your hats, "companion volume," one to keep on your bedroom table, where you

Black currants, bananas in bunches, can take it up for an odd half-hour, or during that mauvais quart

And cocoa-nuts, mothers of matsd'heure, when sleep will not come at your call. To say nothing of the

For of science if you are a lover interest one takes in reading about the literary society of the times, and

You'll know they're the mothers of mats, the wonderful tyranny the Doctor exercised over his circle, there is

That the cocoa-nut's cortical cover something peculiarly attractive for the student of character, in the part

Machinery makes into inats, BOSWELL plays. No writer ever won such suicidal immortality as Bozzy

Into fuscous and fibre-fringed mats. Few would gibbet themselves as fools in order to ensure posthumous recognition would rather be kicked by posterity than allowed to paes unnoticed. And Boswell's Johnson being such a book as we have de.

Painful Nonsense. scribed, we are glad to see that a cheap edition of it has been issued by

Ar the opening of the Alexandra Orphanage, we read that after the Messrs. ROUTLEDGE and Sons. More than five hundred pages, good

déjeuner : type, capital paper, neat binding, and illustrations-and all for the small charge of three-and-sixpence! The same firm also publishes a

"Other toasts were given and speeches made. Mr. Tite, the honorary architect,

and Judge Payne, were among the speakers--the latter proposing "The Ladies,' and sixpenny edition of Uncle Tom's Cabin, and Mr. MIECHI's Farın Balance reciting one of the humorous rhymes of which he has, on similar occasions, comSheets and Lectures, as one of their “ books for the country," and a most posed and delivered more than two thousand.” useful one, too, to those who are agriculturally inclined. But it con- Really the Humane Society, or the Society for the Prevention of tains a good deal of sound sense, and so its perusal will benefit those Cruelty to Animals, ought to prosecute such a bad Judge as he must who are not on agriculture bent. Of Mrs. Brown's Visit to the Paris | be who has so often inflicted PAYNE on his fellow-creatures! Exhibition what need we say more than that that estimable lady is as pleasantly communicative as ever, and quite as prone to buy experience in the dearest market and sell it in the cheapest. In Miss Tomkins's

A Chip. Intended, Mr. SKETCHLEY strikes out a new line, in which he succeeds It is a well-known fact that in America the greatest amount of admirably, telling a story with quiet humour, heightened here and drunkenness prevails in those States where the Maine Liquor Law is there with homely pathos in a way that will commend the book to all in force. This is doubtless owing to the number of unlicensed “whitreaders.

Itlers” there.

20

City Intelligence.

To Arms. We see that there are to be great “ Fes”-tivities in Guildhall on the The Court Journal states that weight of the senior Generals of occasion of the Sultan's visit. We do not believe, however, that it is our army aro bedridden-three speechless, all well past eighty.” the intention of his Highness, as has been rumoured, to present the What does that matter? If the old boys were called on they would Lord Mayor with the Order of the “Turkish Bath !”

appear “ in arms,”—it's their second childhood with them.

Jedburgh Justice.

JEDBURGH has been doing justice to the good which Sabbatarianism and the Forbes-Mackenzie Act have done in Scotland. A meeting has been held there to consider what steps can be taken to repress the immorality of the young people of the town. It was stated there, over and over again, that boys mere lads-were seen reeling about the streets on Sunday in a horrible state of intoxication, and using the worst language. One speaker, who was, by the way, the most sensible and practical man at the meeting, said that the im. morality in Jedburgh was very bad, but he did not think it was worse than other towns! This is a charming admission for an “unco' guid" country like Scotland! Are all Scotch boys carboys of whiskey

The Tale of a

Tub. We read that the REVEREND MORLEY PUNSHON has Bucceeded in raising within the last five years £10,000 towards building new chapels at favourite wateringplaces. He is clearly a punshon that doesn't want a head, for he is sharp enough to select a pleasant sphere for his labours. We should have fancied that there were lots of places in greater need of spiritual aid than watering-places.

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French Leave.

MASTER FREDDY, being directed the other morning to go and study the French language, was detected immediately afterwards at the strawberry bed. His excuse was that he wished to pick up & few fraise-es.

Latest from the

Lords. It is believed that the Peers will reject the lodger franchise when the Reform Bill comes before them. If so, they will have a difficulty with John Bull, who is the lodger—of many complaints against them already.

Et tu, Brute-ey.

AFTER the late speech made by a « learned professor" at Exeter Hall, we suppose the manners and customs of the Sheffield savages may be described in the old fashion-viz., that they have no manners, and “their customs is BEESLEY!

Really Wanted.

To judge from recent disclosures, we should think that Railway Companies might copy theatrical companies, and insert, with the difference in one syllable only, an advertisement often seen in the Era. They should advertise, “ Wanted, Principles.”

Alteration of

Name. Some members of the Reform League who have lately visited the Paris Exhibition, and also the Jardin de Mabille, propose that the Lon. don Parks shall be henceforth called by all Reformers, Jardins de M.-A.-Beales.

AN EYE TO BUSINESS.
Painter (addressing fellow-visitor to the Zoo"):-“LOR, BILL, WHAT A STUNNER HE'D BE
TO DO DOWN THE SIDE OF A 'OUSE!”

A WORD FOR A Blow.-- Half-a-crown -to Sheerness and back.

UN PAIT ACCOMPLI: | The Dramatic Fête.

Vich must be Perfection. MESSRS. VBITCH AND Sons, the well-known Chelsea nurserymen, have introduced a new pea this season. In recognition of the eminent services of our well-beloved COLE AND Co., and to preserve a name the world would not willingly let die, they have named their new variety THE BROMPTON BOILERB.

The Game of Goose. THE Minister of Agriculture has addressed a circular to the mayors of France, enjoining them to punish all people caught destroying small birds. He is quite right. The sparrow-clubs have no defence for their destructiveness. They cannot even plead that the anserines (for a sparrow-club is but a goose-club) prey upon small birds.

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THE RIGHT FORM FOR RECEIVING A FRIENDLY INVASION.

"RIFLEMEN, FORM!".

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