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Christian churches should ring a welcome to a heathen monarch. The young gentleman, in my humble opinion, is talking nonsenso, but that

doesn't surprise any one. There is no reason why the bells should not BY TIE SAUNTERER IN SOCIITY.

peal for a distinguished Royal visitor as well as for a successful election

or the news of a victory. A peal of bells can scarcely be looked upon E are rapidly approaching as a religious coremony. An objection to the investiture of the Garter

that bourne from which in the Sultan's case would have some foundation of sense, or a logical
every travellor sets out person might with sufficient show of reason press the question how far
for his or her antumn the Christian Times carried out its programme by giving a portrait of
trip. The park is thin the SULTAX, who is not quite one's beau-ideal of a representative
ning. Theopiera is closing. “clergyman of the Christian Church," such as the C. T. promised at
The Houses of Parliament its outset to present to its readers.
will shortly put up their Mr. H. J. MONTAGUE, who is, beyond doubt, one of the best jeunes
figurative shutters, and premiers on the stage, and who shows promise of yet better things,
the dead season will be- / takes his benefit to-day at the Olympic. The bill of fare is a tempting
gin. Well, we have had one indeed :-A new comedy, the Liar, Cool as a Cucumber, the last act
quite a surfeit of novelty, of the Critic, and the farce of the Trumpeter's Daughter. If that does
pleasure and excitement not satisfy a playgoer of more than ordinary assimilative powers, I
in the last few days. So don't know what will. I can only say I hope the public will liberally
let us, by all means, support so earnest and conscientious an actor as ME. MONTAGUE always
have the meditation and shows himself to be.
quiet of the blank season MR. CHARLES WATKINS, of the firm of J. AND C. WATKINS, of

for reflection. We have Parliament-street, has opened a studio at 40, Charing-cross, and is one or two things to reflect upon. We may recall to memory the | about to start in business alone. I have seen some sample cartes which greediness and snobbishness of our Corporation, as exemplified, imprimis, | are turned out with taste, and will, I doubt not, secure extensive by the spectacle of gorging Common Councilmen and hungry guests patronage for a business conducted by a photographer of such long at the Bolgian reception. Then we may chew the cud of bitter fancy practical experience. at the utter breakdown of our boasted police-system before the least extra pressure of an unusual kind, as was shown on every possible occasion during the last fortnight or so. The City police, whom SIR

DOUBLE ACROSTIC. RICHARD MAYNE treated so ungenerously at the time of the arrival of

No. 21. the PRINCESS OF WALES, are avenged. Scotland-yard, which was so nearly swallowing thein bodily, has “bust up," like the veriest bubble

'Tis strange how a prolate in ages gone by, that ever rogistered itself as a joint-stock company. In the last place,

Can rule by his birthday the smiles of tho sky; we may dwell, with what admiration he deserves, on the "rough" who

Can give us fine weather or quite the reverse, has so distinguished himself of late. I mean not only the Whitechapel

With promise for forty days after of worse. rough, or the rough of Seven Dials. I mean the rough who wears cheap gloves and a low-crowned hat; who carries a sixpenny cane, and smokes a three-balspenny cuba ; who makes it impossible for a woman to walk ou: alone, and renders it unsafe for her to travel by

I thought myself a happy man, rail by herself. It is this rough wbo, by example, encourages the

For she was such a lovely creature, rough in corduroy, uctil the result is the disgraceful scene that took

And never since the world began place at Wimbledon after the Sultan's review. And bere permit me

Was greater excellence of feature. to take off my hat and make a low bow to LORD GRANVILLE. His

An economic habit too, minute and a-half's set-to with the ruffian be polished off so nicely

She bad, and did it inost divinely; has cleared the atmosphere considerably. Nobody can chaff our

'Twas pleasant when I wont to woo, hereditary aristocracy very happily wbile the memory of that “one.

To see it executed finely. two" of his lordship's survives. There can't be very much wrong

2. there can be very little decay and deterioration-when a nobleman, who was--well, considerably more than one-and-twenty on his laat

I went straight down upon my knees, birthday--can polieh off a man as briskly as if he had but yesterday

And dusty was the Brussels carpet, quitted Eton, and was fresh from practice on the copora vilia of bargees.

said, will you be something, please, If anything more is wanted to bring back the, of late, somewhat de

For dear to me you surely are, pet: partod lustre of our peers, it will be found in the polished and splendid speeches which have marked the progress of the Reform Bill through

She granted all I asked, and then, the Upper House. The old boys can talk like the scholars and orators

I wish'd my own canoo I'd paddled; of the past, though they are a little inclined to sleep on their fame. THE TICHBORNE case which has for some time past been winding its

She badn't one of these and when

I tried her brains I found them addled. slow length like a wounded snake along, has latterly raised a collateral issue or two. Not the least interesting side-case was the application touching the publication of some of the affidavits by several doily and

An appetite for these she had, weekly journals, with comments upon them in anticipation of the trial.

And ate them fast in every season; The course was certainly unusual, and more than questionable. It is impossible to avoid a suspicion that this was nothing less than an attempt to influence a case whilo it was yet sub judice. Rumour assigns

Her base restrictions drove mo mad, the origin of the esclandre to a writer who has more than once figured

Just one at night's not out of reason. in similar transactions in the Times and the Corschill, and who has been distinguished rather for brilliance and boldness than for accuracy and

6. impartiality. But I don't blame him so much as the editor who allowed

Her hair as every one con fossed, him to play his fantastic tricks to the injury of the paper's credit.

E'en to this day in colour this is ; I SUPPOSE we shall bear no more about the expenses of the ball at the India House. Somehow, whenever a very flagrant bit of jobbery or injustice crops up, it is sure to be spirited away with a rapidity that

But what I like about her best, would make Robin sigh with envy. But is it not a shame that the

Is what accompanies her kisses. Indian revenues should be taxed for this very agreeable entertainment of a select few? Why should a people which has nothing in common

ANSWER TO ACROSTIC No. 19. with Turkey--whose race and religion are indeed inimical and opposed to those of the SULTAN— be called upon to bleed-by which I mean

B Bec shed their shillings- for that potentate? It is one of the very clearest

E Edgardo

L cases of putting the saddle on the wrong horse that it has ever been

Loam

G Grave my fate to meet with FATHER IGNATIUS, or rather the young gentleman who masquerades

Ingomar inder that title, has been expressing himself about the reception of the

O Chevrons SULTAN. He was pleased to consider it abominable that the belle of Solutions Oy ACRostic No. 19, received 24th July.-None correct.

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AUGUST 3, 1867.)

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SPORTING INTELLIGENCE.

CHOR-1-US AND CURIOUS.
THE ORIENTAL REPOSITORY (LIMITED), HORSELAY DOWX. | Srx,--A good song should always have a chorus. Unfortunately,
NICHOLAS ON A BROTHER Prophet.

| most choruses-the sing-able ones, at least-bave no meaning what.

ever, and no connection with the song they are attached to. But My dear young Friend,-What with my own trip to the Paris Ex

th my own trip to the Paris Ex; nous arons changé tout cela, as we French scholars say-and when I say hibition, and what with the numerous visitations in our own free and nous, I mean myself, “I alone did it. boy!"-meaning, without any happy land, NICHOLAS have not been able of late to consecrate so much I disrespect, that the author of the following " Song-and-chorus " isof his time and of your own valuable space, you never giving me | Your obedient servant,

VACUCS VIATOR.
sufficient room, to the discussion of coming events and to forwarding
The latest rips to his tried supporters, the athletic men of merry, inerry There once was a man at whose birth
England.

The Parca to miseries fated him ;
And yet, Gentlemen, after all it is not much as ye have lost thereby. He had more of misfortune than mirth
The prophetic instinct of the Old Man is still in good form, and equal to Froin the hour when they first “ waccinated " him.
any other sportive writer of the age, bar none;-but there are things.

Chorus-Bang, folderiddle lol whack!
Gentlemen, with which not even NICHOLAS can always be familiar. I

Bang, folderiddle diddle, didum, whack ! know a horse-in point of fact, of course, says you, I know a many

---cinated him ! horses--but what I mean is that I know a horse when I see one, and

Good Fortune deserted him quite, can give you a fuir and a valuable opinion on his merits. But, Sir,

So the World (which I'm told its character is) with all my intimate knowledge of the human heart, I will not pre

Would treat him with scorning and slight, tend to say off-hand whether or no that horse's ownor is a swindler.

And turn up its sneering olfactories ! All I will say is, that in nine cases out of ten the odds against such

Chorus -Ri tol lol, diddy iddy dol lol ! being the case are by no means the VICEROY or Egypt's cush-box to a

Ri tol lol, diddy dol lol ! bad fourpenny-bit.

-factories ! No, Gentlemen--it is the owners, and the trainers, and the jockeys that one has now to study; and at times I get so sick of this wicked Though, when money he lent people, they world, especially after dropping a little of the ready on a favourite, Ne'er would pay-as they'd solemnly vow it him :that I feel inclined to retire altogether from the pollooted Turf.

To hiin, e'en when paying his way, If me and the Admiral really was to do so, farewell the racing glory

As for credit !--they ne'er did allow it him! of old England!

Chorus-Fal lal, de diddle diddle, Before resolving, however, on a step which might impoverish

Fal lal, de diddle liddle, liddle diddle ! hundreds of families, not to spenk of bringing down the National

-low it hira! Funds, NICHOLAS will introduce ye all to a racing prophet of the new

But at last, seeing nothing at all school.

He by being obliging and hnmble got, This is MR. RICHARD Wood, which he is obviously a scholar and a gentleman, Eor he have a crest, and a very run crest, too. Around a

He grew proud-and, since pride has its full,

He a most undesirable turnble got! lion's head, as is grinning on the top of a crown-by which I mean not five bob, but a diadem-there is this here remarkable inscription,

Chorus-Rum tam, ti tum, tum, ti tum!

Rum tum, ti tum tum, tum tun! " Deus mihi soi." Well, Sir, I thought as it conld nnt be right, so I consulted a friend

ble got! of mine as was once in the Church, zhough now driving a cab owing to Strange things heroes do, I on told, --inine intemperate habits; and which he said as it was utterly ridicolas, Sot singular was-(yet nut plural)---being a jum ble of Latin and French, like, “Non est iuventus encore

For he buited away with a gold-mine plait. il ř

From the mountains, best known as the Urıl! * But Mr. Wood, Sir, he has a “Turf Commission Agency,” like me

(horus-Ri tooral looral, lul looral with my Repository, only he is a deal more definite in his address than

ki, -tooral luoral, la!! what I have hitherto found to be prudent in my own individual case

Ural! personally; he lives-or perhaps he only has his letters left :-at 59,

He was caught-tried-condemned to be hung: Wilson-street, Finsbury-square, London.

But he said to Jack Ketch, " 'Ere thou dunvest tie, It was in the year 1863—when we was most of us four years younger |

Just allow me to say to the youngthan wbat it is our actual lot to be now, just at present that Mr.

The best policy's found but in honesty!" RICHARD Wood discovered "a principle of backing horses by which

Chorus-Sing hey nonny nonny, hey noniao; winning to any ainonnt is reduced to a certainty."

Hey nonny, nonny, nonny, nonny Well, Sir, so have I, only it is rather dangerous. You get all the

-n honesty! money they will give you, from all the fools you can gull; and under pretence of “ backing horses " you put it in your own unmentionables

MORAL. pocket. But there are two objections to this course—and both are Centle reader, you're greatly my debtor, serious. In the first place, it's robbery; but, what is worse, in the For the moral this lay lays before us is, second place, you are decidedly apt to get lynched, like a welsher.

That this new style of song is much better He says, does Mr. Wood, that he "started with $100 capital." I

Than those idiotic old choruses. have no doubt he would-just try him, gentle public, with £100-and

Chorus-Ri tum, tiddy iddy, tiddy iddy, tiddy iddy, he will start, for New York.

Ri tum, tiddy iddy, tiddy iddy Also does Mr. Woon remark, that in 1864 he won £30,000; in

-otic old choruses ! 1865 he won $28,400; in 1866 he won £29,000. Well, Sir, theu all I say is, that he is a greedy old hunks for to want any more. He have won, he says, £88,000 in three years; can't he live upon that? Why,

Dedalus Secundus. of course he can. I could do it myself!

Tule following extraordinary advertisement has appeared in several He is, however, ready to tell anybody the whole secret for £100. daily papers. The advertiser, having little of the estimable quality

Perhaps ye would like to speculate, my dear young Friend ? And himself, wishes to guide and control balloons of “common sense.'' yet I wrong ye. No!

See what he says: But if you will trust him with £10, he promises you £60; if you will I OCOMOTION IN AIR.- Means having been devised and proved for effectually trust him with £50, he promises £700.

U controlling and guiding balloons on a principle of common sense, being pressure Now then, men of England, than whom, I am sure, a more specu

produced by their motion, the author will confor with a representative of any lative set, but not quite such fools as Mr. Wood seems to think, here's

association or joint-stock company formed to promote their rise. Desiring no

undue or unfair advaniage if failing in this last endeavour to engage attention of a chance for ye; but do not, oh, do not, all speak at once!

his countrymen, it will be offered to foreigners. “It is as vain tu try to check the NICHOLAS. progress of art as it were to attempt to stay the course of nature."--H. H., Author's

Agent, &c., &c., &c.
An Anecdote.

A principle of common sense being pressure produced by their HOPKINS was dining with Popkins the other day. Popkins fell motion” is good-very good indeed ; and we can only hopo the adver. a-talking to Hopkins about his cigars, which, he said, were of a tiser will get up his company. He may be an excellent aeronaut; but, peculiar brand. Hopkins wished to know if Popkins got his wipe at I us regards English composition, he "air a naughty man!" the same place where he bought his cigars, since he noticed it was

brandied" too. Mopkins, who chanced to be present, laughed: but THE GREATEST ATTRACTIOX IX HYDE PARK.—The "Ladie-s' Mile," Popkins didn't see the point. Do you ?

1 of course!

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THE LAST GUEST OF ENGLAND.

Minis-tear-ial. Dear Fun-Some hours after the Serapis had set sail from our HOWEVER lightly Government may treat the claims of woman to rainy shores with its load of soaked Belgians, I happened to be passing the rights of the franchise, it is an indisputable fact that when that through Leicester Square and there came across the last Belgian. He important event-an appeal to the country-occurs, a thoroughly had evidently been left behind. He looked utterly wretched and dis- feminine trait is displayed in the Ministerial character-they invaconsolate, but was singing. I managed to catch the words of his song, | riably get up “a good cry." We have no doubt that the Right Hon. and here it is :

Gentleman, the Ex-Home SECRETARY, will fully corroborate our asser-
I'm the last guest of England

tion,
Left wandering alone,
All my martial companions

For Building Purposes.
Have left me and gone.

We read in a contemporary that it is the custom in Nevada to throw
No soldiers of Belgium

silver bricks on the stage when a favourite actress plays. We suppose To walk with remain,

a mistake has arisen in the translation of bric-d-brac, ihough doubtless And they've given up cheering

few actresses would object to laying the foundation of their fame and And standing champagne!

fortune with the building materials in question.
I'll not rest here, thou London,

Broaching & Queer Subject.
To pine in my togs,

This is curious :-
In thy climate unlovely

LOST, on the streets of Glasgow, yesterday, a Silver-mounted Pebble Brooch. By
And partial to fogs.

returning it to Mr. S., Druggist, — Road, they will be rewarded.
'Tis useless to flatter,

The streets, it appears, are to be rewarded if “they” return the lost
Thou art triste and a bore,
Now my mates of dear Brussels

property. But we fear the offer, like the brooch, will be lost on

them.
Have sailed from thy shore.
So soon let me follow,

The Fete-al Mistake.
What reason to wait ?

We believe there is no truth in the report that next year the orga-
Thy theatres vex me,

nisers of the Dramatic Fête will supplement the Music Hall attractions Thy Sundays I hate.

by a “ Judge and Jury” booth. A rumour that they would be proWhen balls, fêtes, and concerts,

ceeded against under LORD CAMPBELL'S Act for the sale of certain And dinners are done,

photographs is also without foundation. But we do believe that there Oh! who would inhabit

will be no Dramatic Fête at all next year. This London alone? Not a bad parody!

A HINT FROM DR. CUMMING TO LADIES ABOUT TO MARRY.-BeeEAVESDROPPER. | master.

Yours,

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A NEEDED REBUKE. Britannia :-"NOW, YOU THREE, I HOPE, NEXT TIME WE HAVE VISITORS, YOU WILL BEHAVE BETTER– NO MORE GUILDHALL GREEDINESS- NO MORE POLICE INCAPACITY-NO MORE WIMBLEDON ROUGH-RIOTS !”

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