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A LAY OF THE LAW.
At the Court of Common Pleas,
Of a band of tried Q.C.'s.
For to let their wigs to grow
To which the law would go.
And nolle prosequis,
Their number's a surprise !
Processit, nisi prius,
And they–went on to try us.
Our danger. Then "our trust is,"
Than equity and justice !"
Found our petitions bore bim,
And had him up before him.
Over twenty years, but when
They hanged those wicked men-
And all of the Q.C.'s ten.
And between you and me little barn would
it be If they hanged a few more now and then.
A STEED OF A DIFFERENT COMPLEXION. Urchin :-“PLEASE, SIR, TOMMY's A-CRYIN' TO GO TO SCHOOL!”
Venerable Party :-“ VERY CREDITABLE TO HIM, INDEED, AND SHOWS A VERY PROPER DESIRE FOR LEARNING; BUT WHAT 18 IT THAT PREVENTS HIS GOING ?"
Urchin :—“OH, SIR, PLEASE, HE AIN'T A-CRYIN' C08 HB WANTS TO GO, BUT cos he don't waNT TO GO !"
Anything but a Truc-ulent Bemark. INSTANCES frequently occur of unnecessary suffering being inflicted on cattle during their transit by rail
. Surely the “Truck Act" must contain provisions to meet these cases.
We trust that the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals will give the subject their early consideration.
FROM OUR STALL.
and far between, and M188 Amy SHERIDAN looks very tall and pretty We shall find it a difficult thing-the general tone of our theatrical and well dressed. The dialogue of the piece is as dull as any ditchcriticism taken into consideration—to speak of M188 ADA WEBB's water, and the three acts must undergo a considerable cutting before acting in sufficiently enthusiastic terms. Her performance in the they can be made thoroughly palatable to average audiences. The Grasshopper is already placed beside M188 Cushman's Meg Merrilees on of The Grasshopper is Miss ADA WEBB. An occasional sinking of the
scenery is pretty and the dresses are picturesque; but the life and soul the chimney-piece of our dramatic memories. We have heard at least voice-which sometimes goes to the extent of rendering her words half a dozen objections from the wiseacres who infest theatres on first almost inaudible is the only
fault we have to find in this young lady's nights. Number One, with a preternatural shrewdness, discovers that the lady has an American "twang"; seeing that she comes from admirable performance. The piece was received with enthusiasm on America we regard that fact as no particular
miracle and no particular the night of its production, and there was more than the ordinary drawback. Number Two, generous creature, admits the merit of the amount of “calls” and bouquets. lady's Fanchon, but he suspects that she can play nothing else, and consequently begs us to suspend our admiration. We shall do nothing
" Ass You Was !" of the kind; it would be a shame to deny the talent of MR. SOTHERN'S Dundreary on the ground of his having played nothing half so well
We were rather startled the other day on taking up a Scarborough since. Number Three, the most absurd of all, objects to the want of paper to come upon the following extraordinary paragraph; we of repose in Miss WBBB's acting. Now, Miss WEBB's character gives
course suppress the names for obvious reasons :the title to the play, and the title implies either something or nothing.
DONKEYS. From our own limited experience of grasshoppers, we have arrived at
Best agricultural donkey, Mr. M Hackness. the conviction that they are intensely fond of hopping about. Miss
Best hackney donkey, Mr. E. P-, Scarbro'. Ada WEBB hops about also, and not only justifies the name of the We immediately sat down and wrote a long and forcible essay on the piece, but makes us acquainted with a very symmetrical pair of license of the press and the defects of the law of libel. We have, extremities by this Terpsichorean peculiarity. Joking apart, we however, determined not to print it, more especially as a little further regard this young actress as one of the finest performers that our examination of the paper convinced us that the paragraph which do American cousins have sent us. Of her sister, Miss Exna WEBB, we astounded us was part of the prize list at an agricultural show. But cannot speak so highly; her part is an arduous one, and the young surely
our provincial contemporary might have found some less dubious lady plays it creditably—but she seems out of her element in the way of putting it! character. The other parts are played up to the usual Olympic standard; MR. WIGAN makes up admirably, MR. CLAYTON is a rather “The ANGEL” at Highgate.-M188 BORDETT COUTTS. cold lover, MR. D. MURRAY makes the most of points which are few THE LAND FOR THE Blasés.-New ZBAL-land.
A BORN GENIUS.
You find not in the songs I sing
A solitary touch of toil;
Suggestive of the midnight oil.
For grace, for wisdom, or for wit,
Poeta nascitur, non fit.
My sojourn in the world began;
(A bard ere yet I was a man).
In meditative mood I sit,
Poeta nascitur, non fit.
Are guiltless of the "spark divine”
And coruscates in every line!
Or self-important-not a bit;
Poeta nascitur, non fit.
Ode to an Eminent M.P. SING WHALLEY !-pardon me, I do not
The phrase to you
As noisy members do,
To sing your name
And little game!
She says she can't
Quite sure, is "shan't.”
Yet vows she tries
“ It may be for Years ! ”
Answers to Correspondents. We have received a copy of a Shrewsbury paper, in which we read that, at a late Foresters' Fête held in the neighbourhood
(We cannot return rejected MSS. or sketches unless they are accom“After several other toasts and songs the members and their friends joined in a
panied by a stamped and directed envelope.] dance, and kept it up with great spirit for some years."
WE have to acknowledge the receipt of copies of the Porcupine from We have placed ourselves in communication with the postmaster of several. Liverpool correspondents, who draw attention to gross plagiarisms Shrewsbury, with a view to posting off a special reporter if the state of ": Nicholas” contained in that journal. We thank them, but the best ment we quote should prove true. We can quite understand that a punishment for such ignorance or dishonesty is the contempt of the public,
. caper of such length would be carried on with spirits, not to say BRIAN Boroo.-From the fact that the “ Paddy Shaw” and “ Dick ghosts, for such a dance of St. Vitus would prove a dance of death. Tatur" jokes are venerable and well-known ones, we conclude that the plain It appears probable that the hop was kept up for a couple of hours, but English for your name is Brian Borrow. that the Shrewsbury reporter, having two long years running in his
SCISSORS.--You can cut. head, wrote down the wrong word.
Gas.--We are compelled to turn you off.
COOMRES.- Thanks; we will consider it. " Murder as a Fine Art."
W. R. (Mile-end.) We don't care for feeble copies of poor Artemus
Ward. A LARGE poster, announcing a féte at Swinton, near Sheffield, the Oulkpov.--Your little-o'd is under consideration. It wants polishing. other day, held out as an inducement to visitors the fact that "MR.
AN ADMIRER -OP FUN (Monaghan).-The paper has not reached us. WILLIAM BROADHEAD, of Sheffield, is expected on the ground each PIETRO ARETINO is wrong about the artist; there are two!! day.” We suppose “MR. WILLIAM BROADHEAD, of Sheffield,” will F. T. (Cheltenham) didi not enclose a stamp as stated. Our regulation appear as a public entertainer next. The blowing-up of a non- maya" a stamped directed envelope." We wish our correspondents would Unionist's house, with a bouquet of rockets, would be a telling finale attend to it. to a lecture on “Safe Methods of Murder, with Illustrations,” in which W. B. D. (Upminster.) You have not observed our rules, but, as the the learned lecturer will be assisted by MR. OROOKES.
sketches are not your own, we keep them for you to rectify your oversight.
DRAMA.-We meant. Wednesday, but the advertisement appeared on
Thursday or Friday.
Declined with thanks :-Astragalus ; Roseville, Isle of Wight; Tilda ;
Tom B.'s.; Fun-Admirer, Birmingham; Miss B., Norwich; Aurora; L. E.,
Brighton; F. A., Downham-road ; P. D.; E. H. O'N., Islington; SubWith a still tongue, and though at times he founder,
fcriber; Reporter ; J. E.; W. D. S., Glasgow; J. A., Hulme; D. A. S., A fool will live where daring thiakers founder,
City; J. N. Ma, Taunton; 1. L.; Mios W., Edinburgh; E. C. D., Will live out storms (which faighted sages throttle)
Gopoall-street; lota; S.Si., Park; G..P., Bagwaro-road; J. de C.; Like a close-corked, obsequious, empty bottle !
A. L. B., Brigbton.