"SPARE MY FELINES." [But he couldn't net (to the reluctant P*k*ng n):-"OH, DON'T TAKE AWAY MY FAVOURITE CAT GET ON WITHOUT THE PET!" ld be so entirely unlike each b has an attribute of its own, and its it be for the philosopher (if certain extent, denominational; and a humbug) to take down his Encycloaccount for the broad lines of distinc-pædia Britannica, which, in about erent clubs. But that some members forty volumes, is staring him in the dissimilar in temper, tone, style, and face as he writes, and indite thereer members of the same club is a con- from (from the article called "Books"), a long catalogue of the obscure works ect upon the philosopher. It fills him e ramifications of metropolitan society upon which his friend in the margin lls him with vexation of spirit, for he is always ready to expatiate. But the set himself in this chapter is rather too C. P. is not a well-read man, and he scorns to convey, directly or indirectly, he has by this time accustomed himbull by the horns to such an unlimited the impression that he is anything of success, that he has come to look upon the kind. ster of that embarrassing but attractive orthy match for it. It is true, that the railway carriages and on steam-boats, how that Mankind at Large is not orting this opinion; but then when was remarked, however, that the objectors have wens in their back-hair. There e-a big, blue-eyed, soft, golden-haired, y, spoke to the C. P. of himself, as a e individual was whom she had the e appeared surprised when she saw two e inner corners of the philosopher's fine armed when she perceived that his manly sobs. IF this should catch the eye of but no matter! The reader is probably E,"But what in the world has this to do nestly acknowledges that it has nothing ut he was for the moment unmanned. He -tmanteaus, the travelling for six hours ng for apartments in the West of England, ng of personal baggage on a very hot ad a tight boot, are the very best preparawrite a chapter of "Men we Meet," then umph of literary and artistic excellence. these considerations are admitted to be mbarrassed style, then, by so much as they chapter be taken as intellectually inferior zeded it. The C. P. is not well, and he ritten and posted this article. Now for firm ally of the clergyman of his village; a The and fishery laws; and he always drinks" cloth is removed, even though he be dining by may be taken as a fair type of the Athenæum, um is susceptible of typification. (The C. P. ly understood that he does not believe that any acquainted is really susceptible of anything of This active, eager, busy, energetic man, is a member of the Reform Club. He is probably a gentleman, although a careless one, aud h does not carry his Liberal views to the extent of becoming a downright Radical; but he is to be avoided, nevertheless, as an awful type of a Either a man has Man with a Grievance. There is always something wrong. been hanged without having gone through the trying ordeal of shaking hands with the executioner; or a secretaryship has been created at four hundred a-year, the duties of which might be performed by a clerk at fifty; or a nigger too many has been killed; or a white man too few; or a railway train is five minutes late; or his cabman has overcharged him. If an account arrives that KING TOMMY, of Borria-Bungalee-Boo, has fried five hundred of his subjects, he has stories about the treatment of the mild Hindoo by the East India Company, which, by comparison, place KING TOMMY'S behaviour in the light of a mere amiable eccentricity. On the left, is a member of the Carlton-a quiet, steady-going country gentleman, with a good eye for a horse. He is a good does a little, still, across country; is a fair fisherman; and, tv years ago, was a good oar, and a first-rate bat. He is a C Magistrate, with the a taste for punishing poachers; and he is, generally, too hard upon vagrants and petty criminals. It is a fault of his education-but it is a fault, notwithstanding. On the right, is a fair type of Guards' Club. The C. P. really does not know how to describe this gentleman. The only typical Guardsman who is susceptible of much special description is the lisping, haw-haw, lardy-dardy Guardsman whom we meet stage, and no where else. The gentleman whom the C. P. ha is, of course, a brave man; of course, an honourable man (sa matter of tradesmen, who don't count); a cool hand in m difficulty; gentlemanly, distant, and reserved; unembar manner; and conversationally equal to any emergency. O will marry when he comes into his father's estates; leave th and take a Field-Officer's commission in his county Militia R SPORTING INTELLIGENCE. NICHOLAS MEANDERS. "Now, Sporting Muse, draw in the flowing reins, John Gay. "Rural Sports," Canto II. "Would you preserve a numerous finny race! John Gay. "Rural Sports," Canto I. BELGRAVIA. MY DEAR YOUNG FRIEND,-You will see as me and my Gentleman of the Press have made it up again, he having behaved, I am free to own, in a most gentlemanly manner considering his station in life, and explained that MR. SPENSER, whose rather offensive lines I quoted last week, have long been dead, which if I had known such I would never have said a word that could have given a pang to his surviving friends, and have little doubt as he was a very worthy man, though rather too ready with his gab. The remarks made by MR. JOHN GAY, in the present number of the New Serious, strike me as in much better taste and altogether more suited to the occasion and subject, though I do not quite go along with him where he talks of "the gin" betraying my "roving steps,' THE PENSIONED POETS. Which troubled his brief repose, From the lips of the pensioned poet YOUNG, THE POET YOUNG. THE harp of ould Erin I strike with effulgence, Whilst Liberty marshals her Orange battalions, From the Wicklow mountains all round to the sea! Awake, ye bold Loyalists, and down with his Holiness, Kathleen mavourneen, ohone, ohone! May the LORD LIEUTENANT display greater boldness, Then, croppies lie down, and arise Londonderry! So down with intimidation and bribery, THE POET CLOSE. HAIL, Votive DERBY, whose magnific ray, Awakens the tuneful lyre in humble life; Such being my own position, I am free to say, And my only object is to maintain my wife. May fortune smile upon the COUNTESS D.! hope your good lady may continue well, Whatever her poor poet's lot should be, Though Poverty should ring his knell. If half-a-crown were by your bounty flung, I should regard it remarkable well-timedI have said as many verses now as YOUNG, And I consider as they are better rhymed! The EARL, so he dreamt, arose, With angry words on his tongue, And he shouted with lip and lung, "May the Deuce fly away with the poet CLOSE, And eke with the poet YOUNG!" and speaks of me as "scaly," and alludes to "hostile jaw." Gin is a condiment which I very rarely touch, and what he calls "roving steps," attributing such to spirits-and-water, shows how harsh we may be in our judgments, NICHOLAS often suffering from rheumatism in the lower extremities as may give him a rambling gait when he have really had very little indeed to drink, not to speak of; "scaly" is an epithet which I indignantly repudiate; and as for "hostile jaw," my enemies may say what they please. I don't care! My salary is paid regular, and my bosom full of honest pride. In coming to matters more immediately Sportive, the Prophet labours under what his French friends call "un embargo de riches," there being so many topics for consideration, but will take them as they rise, one down the other come on. I have always been of opinion that your paper, though otherwise well managed, do not give me enough space. First and foremost, then, Sir, I am glad to see that noble animal the horse, than whom I am sure none more so, is now spoke of with proper respect, as you will see in the following extract, where it is put quite like a Court Circular, such as "HER MAJESTY took a walk on the slopes," or "the PRINCE OF WALES rode on horseback" (as if, by-the-bye, H.R.H. occasionally rode on a donkey, which he do not do so, his only other vehicle being a fire-engine, along with the DUKE OF SUTHERLAND and NICHOLAS and a few other chums), or "the PRINCESS BEATRICE drove," which I must say as it is rather early for to trust her with the ribands. But here, Sir, is the extract. Judge for yourself: "Count F. de Lagrange's Fille de l'Air has left Dangu and gone on a visit to Gladiateur. "On the 16th inst., at the Haras de Vineuil, near Chantilly, Audacieuse, a colt foal, by Monarque." There is a chastened delicacy about these illusions, my dear young Friend, which is quite in the vein of NICHOLAS himself. Then, Sir, there is the Epsom Spring Meeting, which I see as you did not think it worth while to print my tip for the City and Little Muphit has been bursting for the last three-quarters of an hour to declare himself; but the unaccountable restiveness of Miss Spoonington's horse has frustrated each attempt. At length in desperation :-"HI! DEAREST MISS SPOONINGTON, YOU THERE, I ADORE YOU-SAY OH, OH, SAY, YOU WILL BE MI-INE!" Though, bless you, this is nothing compared to the good things I have still in store for you! Next, Sir, there is an Eleven of Aboriginal Australian Savage Indigines coming over to England to play at Cricket, and which your Old Man will be all there. Then, Sir, there is the Railway Strike, which prevented me from getting down to Epsom in good time, and I daresay as this was the reason why you did not print my prophecy for the City and Suburban; and there is the Rowing Matches at Paris; and there is Putney, which you have already told the public how it will end; and there is-in fact, there is such a heap of things that NICHOLAS is compelled to exclaim with the poet, though altering of him a little, "Ye unborn races, crowd not on my soul!" NICHOLAS. P.S.-I have found a chapter or two of my "Knurr and Spell," just the rough draft, so to speak. Perhaps we had better print even this than seem to break faith with the public? Not as the public would hesitate to break faith with you or me. I know the public, my dear young Friend! Ingratitude. THE ingratitude of the human race! Look here:то be SOLD, a very superior INVALID CARRIAGE. Cost, within six months, £12. To be sold for four guineas.-Apply to, etc. A carriage bought within six months for twelve pounds, has, it seems, been unexpectedly laid-up, and has become a confirmed invalid. Although, doubtless, it did good service, it is at once got rid of at an alarming sacrifice. Will no charitable person buy it, if only to send it to some hospital? Answers to Correspondents. [We cannot return rejected MSS. or sketches unless they are accompanied by a stamped and directed envelope.] because he has had a similar catch. We won't trouble him. "THE JUDICIOUS HOOKER" must really not claim other people's fish P. G. F., Brighton, must not bring mathematical rules to bear upon folly, or he will waste his time. H. E. V. D.-Perhaps the lines were, as you say, sui generis, on account of the porkity of ideas in them. T. W. B., Gales-row, Greenwich.-We have no intention of assisting you to publish a libel. If we can find out who A. T. S. is, we will hand him your letter. J. Y., Wood-street. We don't think-candidly-that you are a poet. warded. Your bookseller must be a muff. SAMBO.-Send thirteen stamps to this office and the book will be for cool donkey would be a better term. COLD MONKEY sends us a recent joke so calmly cribbed, that we think J. R. G., Hastings.-"Lady Florian's Secret" wants keeping, and is therefore rejected by our hanging committee. BUTCH isn't worth butch, to speak influenza-lly. in the spirit of your article. Declined with thanks-A. W. B., Liverpool; J. S., Chester; C. P. C.; O. W. D.; P. C., Enniskillen; T. A., Liverpool; E. C., Ipswich; Duo; C. H. M., Danes Inn; C. R.; J. M., Lauriston; J. H., Rochford; C. H. B., Bristol; R. J. W., West-square; O. Y. G.; Tam o'Shanter; Luton; J. H. C., Moorgate-street; Cap and Bells. 1. F. M.; C. B. Y., Dick; P. C. J., Tottenham; F. C., St. Leonard's; R. P. U.; J. H., Edinburgh; A. W. H., New-cross; J. R.; S. B.; The Statue; H. C. H., Albion-street; W. S. E.; J. N. T., Bruges; C. W.; Rycharde; A. H., Helensburgh; Slidrig; Z. F.; F. W.; Loyalty; J. E. A.; Vicious; Box; W. T. B., Dalston; H. H. R., Poet's-corner; W. M. M.; J. R.; J. F., Richmond; E. A. M., Manchester; Phoebe; Ginger; J. D., Croydon; W. E. H., Gloster; Prosy. |