MRS. BROWN IN AMERICA.

THE WAYS OF NEW YORK.

I SAYS to MRS. CHAUNCEY as I should feel obliged if she'd go along with me and see one of them Justices; as said she would with pleasure, through a wantin' to go and see MRS. LINKERN's clothes, as were for sale. I says, "Whoever's she?" "Why," she says, 66 the widder of our President, as were cruelly murdered of a Good Friday at the theayter." Oh," I says, "I never knowed as they was open, but," I says, "owever is it as he didn't take care on 'is widder, the same as PRINCE HALBERT, 'as left 'is'n werry comfortable, but," I says, "poor soul, if she's drove to sell 'er clothes, it must be Queer Street with 'er, as were the case with poor MRS. PAIN, as were left total unprovided, and drove to a arms' 'ouse without even the donkey-cart as poor PAIN did used to go round with wegetables, and a 'onest man, as I will say, for that time as I give 'im a 'arf-crown a-thinkin' as it were a penny between the lights, a buyin' of some taters for BROWN's supper, as is particular partial to 'em baked with a black pudding, as is pretty eatin' in cold weather, when you can trust them as sells 'em. So she says as this poor lady's clothes was for sale in Broadway, and off we went to see 'em, as I nat'rally expected would be 'er crownation robes the same as is shown in London at MADAM TUSSOR's as bought 'em 'erself of QUEEN VICTORIA, not as she were drove to it thro' want.

got oshuns of splendid clothes at 'ome, and won't never put 'em on,
tho' 'is wife, as 'is my own sister, goes down on 'er knees to 'im." I
says, "Indeed!" and was glad to ear as he were 'er sister's 'usband,
for I didn't 'arf fancy 'im, but didn't say nothink, but 'ome I
goes.
(To be continued.)

A RHYME UPON RHYMES.
"THE sea gives her shells to the shingle,"-
Because they're no good to the sea;
And I beg to offer a jingle

That's not of the least use to me.
Some rhymes I have got on some fly-leaves,
Among the contents of my desk,
Which I took, neither with leaves nor by leaves,
From some one's burlesque.

I have weaved them to-day in a fashion,
Designed all their beauties to show.
They may put purists into a passion,

But that won't be my fault, you know.
Still, the harvest of rhyme to my sickle
That falls, though decidedly queer,
Is just of the right sort to tickle
The fine cockney ear.

THESE ARE THE RHYMES.

I quitted Baden Baden,
Where I left SIR WATER CARDEN,

But as to MRS. LINKERN as is 'er name, 'er clothes was all werry well, but nothing much to look at, and I should say as she might 'ave got rid on 'em on the quiet, as won't fetch much except the lace, and no doubt if she's that bad off as the 'Merrykins as is a noble-'arted lot will make it all right for 'er, and so I told the party as were a-showing 'em, as cut me rather short. So I says to MRS. CHAUNCEY as we'd better go, and so we did, and got downstairs and stood for a moment a-talkin' at the door when up comes a perliceman and tells us not to (Whom the Telegraph is hard on), and I journeyed next to Basle. stop the doorway. Well, I moves a little further and was a-restin' myself agin a iron rail, up comes the perliceman, and says, mustn't set 'ere." I says, "I ain't a settin,'" no more I wasn't, but Keep on always going farther; but I called the Kellner, Carl; only a-leanin', as proved too much for them railin's, as were only a a gate as opened with my weight, and if a man 'adn't been comin' up the steps with a basket of oyster-shells on 'is 'ead, I should 'ave gone down back'ards, as made that perliceman grin, and the coloured party as was a-carryin' them oyster-shells he said as it were lucky as I didn't bust 'im.

"You

Like a knight of good KING ARTHUR

I thought that I would rather

And I said, "In this here quarter
Are there boats upon the water?"
"Yes," says he, "but they the sort as you'd not like to sail in far."
Just then there comes a letter
From the beautiful ROSETTA

(No marvel that they pet her), who was there with her papa.
In London last I'd seen her
And her sister, fair GEORGINA,

But their cousin, sprightly SARAH,
Than both of them is fairer,

MRS. CHAUNCEY she were a-starin' in at a shop-winder a-talkin' to a friend as she'd met with, and she says, "MRS. BROWN, this 'ere is a gentleman as is a lawyer, and 'ave been a judge." "Oh," I says, Whose eyes are somewhat greener, though I fancy she's the star. indeed! Then," I says, "pre'aps he can tell me about that 'ere perliceman as 'ave got that pocket-book." "Yes," she says, "and he'll see you 'ave your rights thro' a-knowin' them perlice and their And her style of beauty's rarer, and her eyes were bright as Spa. ways, as is downright tyrants." So she says, a-turnin' to 'er friend, "MR. BOGISSON, this is MRS. BROWN," as I made my obedience to 'im, but was that friendly, as he shook 'ands and said as he'd 'eard a deal Though I told the same to LAURA, which was going much too far. about me, and quite looked on me as a old friend.

But I've flirted much with FLORA,
And have said that I adore her;

And my words to ARABELLA,
When my love I dared to tell her.

As sloops are to a liner
Were all those girls to DINAH,

He certainly did not look much like a lawyer, let alone a judge,
thro' bein' that shabby in 'is clothes, which was reg'lar rags in places, Were those I spoke to STELLA, who referred me to mamma.
with 'is boots as 'adn't seen blackin' for weeks, I should say, with a
shirt as was filthy, and matched 'is face and 'ands, and kep' a-chewin',
and smelt fearful of sperrits, and as pale as death. When he'd 'eard Who is infinitely finer than a fairy or a fawn;
my story, as he didn't seem arf to listen to, he says, "Ah, the rascal!
This must be looked into, and I'll make 'im pay; but," he says, "it will
cost you money." "Oh," I says, "I don't want to go to law, as may Whose other name is CLEAVER, and who's lovely as the morn.
cost me thousands, and end in the work'ouse the same as MRS. LAM-
BERT, as 'er father left thousands to, as never got 'er rights, tho' at
law over thirty years, and was sent to jail for the costs."

says,

So I

And never would I leave her
Except perhaps for EVA,

When I'd twice perused the letter
From the beautiful ROSETTA,

I concluded I had better be off at once from Basle.

And, quick as shell from mortar,
Before papa had caught a

"I'll go home," said I, "and learn a
Lesson out of Mary Turner;

So he says, "Old up a minnit; you goes ahead too quick." "Excuse me, but 'ow much will it cost?" "Why," he says, "ten dollars to-day for me to search the records." "Why," I says, Likely husband for his daughter, I had taken leave of Carl. "they surely don't keep the perlice in the records, as will be easy found thro' me 'aving took 'is number." "Law," I says, "what is to be done?" Says the lawyer, "Never The rules of rhyming stern are in the school that I adore. mind; I'll ketch 'im sure. But," he says, "wait a moment; I must just step round 'ere and see a man; I won't be a minnit."

He says,

"Let's 'ave it."

And B. is not an author
In the class who third or fourth are,

Nor more he wern't, but smelt wuss of liquor than ever. So, when But from the well of CHAUCER doth continually draw.
he come back, he says, "'Ave you got the money about you?" I
says, "I've got fifteen dollars." He says, “That'll do for to-day.
Now," he says, "you meet me to-morrer, at twelve to the minnit, at
the City 'All, as is a large buildin' with a flight of steps up to as is
white marble, least ways would be but for tobaccer juice, as stains
everythink." So I says, "I'll be there to the minnit." He says,
Bring ten dollars, in case I should want to pay the fees, as is 'eavy
in sich cases."

Well, he walks 'isself off all of a 'urry, without sayin' "Good morning," or anythink. So I says to MRS. CHAUNCEY as he were werry short. "Oh," she says, "bless you, the judges is a-waitin' for 'im, as can't get on without 'im." "Ah," I says, "I suppose he's got to go 'ome and dress." She says, "Bless you, no; that's 'is way, as 'ave

Sold Again!
Meeting at Newmarket, the "leading journal” says:—
COMMENTING on gentlemen-rider matches at the late Houghton

of in the old Newmarket days-somewhat provincial, we venture to think it, and
derogating from the legitimate form of head-quarters. One of them, between
Colonel Knox and Mr. Reginald Herbert, wound up the sport of the afternoon, the
former, on Shrapnell, squandering his opponent."

"There is rather a rage for gentlemen-rider matches here now, a thing unheard

We have too often heard of people being sold on the turf, but to "squander his opponent" is about the last act of which we supposed a gentleman jockey capable.

Ch*nc*ll*r of Exch*qu*r :-" WILL YOU OBLIGE ME BY JUST WRITING YOUR NAME ACROSS THIS LITTLE SLIP OF PAPER ?-IT IS A MERE MATTER OF FORM."