phy by our own Tupper. which capital invested in playing Yet the adherents of the ducal tless on the principle "Once bit,

e Scales.

netropolitan boroughs waited on resent a sort of condoling address ins has a sympathy with things

a St. Louis paper, under the heading of "American Tin," says, "The United States are no longer dependent on the Old World for their saucepans;

in Southern Missouri there is tin enough to supply the kitchens for a million years." Why this excitement ? Saucepans may be made of other metal than tin, and to judge from the Alabama correspondence of MR. SEWARD, the American supply of brass does not seem to be in any danger of giving out.

Toole-Liberal!

A MARGATE correspondent informs us that bills have been displayed in that town declaring that "On Monday the Second of September the wellknown comedian MR. J. L. TOOLE will appear at the Theatre for two nights only." We have the highest admiration for MR. TOOLE, but we cannot believe that even his undoubted versatility can contrive to get two nights out of Monday evening!

Bravo!

Ir is stated that both LORD STANLEY and MR. DISRAELI will visit Ireland during the recess. We understand that it is their intention to take the national bull by the horns-Qy. those of a dilemma!

A Tyrant.

A WITNESS was asked the other day

by counsel to describe briefly the character of the prisoner, who was accused of getting drunk and tyrannizing over his wife and family. He answered that he should be inclined to style the accused "a brandy-and-water-Cure."

The Latest from Ireland.

A FRIEND sends us a suggestion, which, if not positively witty, i comparatively funny. He propounds that a young lady who is no yet "out" is very like a schoolboy who is kept in for his Greek Why? Don't you see?-Because she is kept more at Home-er tha she likes!

66

gentleman, than whom I am sure as I have always considered you on of them, though a little too apt for to blow up men as are more tha twice your age. I fancied, Sir, as I could hear the very tones of you familiar voice in that sweet passage where the letter says as I am delusive old vagabond, on whom no reliance can be placed." You ar not the only person which may have said so; but what I am sincerel grateful for is the friendly way in which the communication is mad where you say that if I do not send you some copy you will have m locked up for obtaining of money under false pretences. Nothing, Si could be more frank, nor straightforwarder, nor more calculated for t put NICHOLAS on his mettle.

The truth is that the Prophet have again been basking in the lapse of luxury on the coast of the English Channel, where the good an beautiful of Britain's aristocracy have been hand and glove with hin chorus, then here's a hand, my trusty fere, and here's a hand o' min and we'll drink a cup of kindness yet, for Auld Lang Syne! Many the proud and stately Peer of the Realm with whom I have done s they all being fond of NICHOLAS-whilst the women, Sir, by JUPITER they adore me! To say as I have been doing much execution amon the partridge-birds, Sir, would be entirely useless, as I am sure yo would not believe me, and therefore abstain from telling you a syste matic falsehood;-but I have been winning laurels, so for to speak, i another sphere, and which it is more adapted for the Prophet's presen period of life, not to speak of my future.

I allude, Sir, to the delightful game of Croaky-or, as the Frenc say, Croquet; but I always pronounce it personally in the way whic I have spelled it first.

Had I the pen, Sir, of a CAPTAIN MAYNE ROUTLEDGE, or a Mi EDMUND REID, or of a gentleman to whom SHAKESPEARE alludes a "the melancholy JAQUES," which it strikes the Old Man as bein rather like taking a liberty for to call him so, I would then, Sir, ex patiate on the rules of the game, though what after all is the use o doing so when no two people can be found who play exactly alike; b this is a digression. Full stop.

The Old Man, however, never sparing trouble nor expense when h sees a chance of affording combined amusement and instruction to th readers of your valuable New Serious, will give you a sketch of

CROAKY; AS PLAYED BY NICHOLAS HIMSELF.

1. Get the Marchioness to bring out a chair for you, so as you ma not have to walk about the ground more than what is convenient.

2. Get her for to mix you a glass of cold brandy-and-water. Note.There are some grounds where this is considered low. What's th odds?

3. Say you won't play until the next game, as you like to see th young people enjoying themselves.

4. See the young people enjoying themselves, and drink the col brandy-and-water.

5. Send for another glass. Note.-Some players go to sleep at thi stage of the game, but it is not obligatory for to do so. Suit yoursel 6. Take a weed, and wait till the game is over.

7. Take a mallet, and wait till the game begins.

8. Be particularly careful not to hit your ball through the first hoop 9. Same as No. 8. Note.-The advantage of this plan, which seldom recommended by less experienced authors, is that you can sta close to your chair where the cold brandy-and-water is.

10. Stay close to your chair where the cold brandy-and-water is. 11. A good strong pair of spectacles will help you in watching th darlings when they put their dear little boots--but NICHOLAS NICHOLAS, you have a reputation for morality, my boy! Sustain it. 12. Say you are afraid the grass is getting damp, beg to be excused go indoors, and have some more brandy-and-water.

REMARKS.

It will be seen as this Manwal is free from tedious technicalities and likewise from wrangling discussions about the mere minutiae o the game. It is enough for the young player to learn the genera principles of croaky.

If these brief but well-considered remarks should help to inspir any one with a real affection for the noble game-and if, above all they should tend to wipe away a tear from the cheeks of Innocence whilst alleviating the hardships of the poor, they will have more tha fulfilled the fondest aspirations of NICHOLAS HIMSELF.