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HOW THEY SERVED POOR PEACE AT THE GENEVA CONFERENCE.

FROM OUR STALL.

Above Parr. The most exciting and poetical of sensation-plays, "Arrah-na- A REMARKABLE case of longevity has come under our notice. It is Pogue,” suffers somewhat from the substitutions attending its on record that “OLD Parr" attained the great age of 152 years nine revival. MR. G. VINING's O'Grady iş only pretty good, and Mr. months. Far be it from us to make light of so venerable a subject, BROUGHAM's was perfect. MR. GRESHAM, & clever actor in heavy still we may not be out of place in stating that this great fact has been business, plays the Sergeant with a terribly coarse kind of humour; completely cast into the shade by an acquaintance of ours—a chandelier the first representative of the character was admirable. Other altera- manufacturer—who has already seen considerably more than thirty tions in the cast have taken place, few of them for the better. Mr. lustres, and, we are happy to add, has every prospect of witnessing as and Mrs. BoUCICAULT have resumed their old parts, and very charm. many more. ingly they play them. MR. DOMINICK MURRAY, who has retouched and intensified Michael Feeny, was called before the curtain two or

Nose-such Thing! three times on the first night of the revival. By the way, the author À LADY advertises in a New York paper for a husband “having a has very judiciously substituted the “Shan Van Voght" for the "Wearin' Roman nose with strong religious tendencies.” Poor thing! She will of the Green." The treason of the former song is comparatively mild, never meet with the object of her desires. A nose with religious tenand therefore less likely to stimulate the Fenians in the gallery to go dencies would of course turn up—which is a feat no nose of the Roman into the streets and commit murder. The pretty and comfortahle Prince of Wales's has been re-opened

type could possibly achieve. with “ Caste," which seemed to have got its second breath and gone in for another “ spurt." MRB. LBIGU MURRAY is now playing the part

Get Along with yer Barry! originally given to Miss LARKIN.

We understand that efforts are being made to refer the great Mr. Cave, the manager of the Marylebone Theatre, has just entered " ronning down" case-Proin . Barry--to arbitration. For the into the command of the Victoria. The house has been thoroughly credit of both parties, we shall be glad to hear that this arrangement cleaned, and everything about it looks very nice. A noticeable change has been carried into effect. has taken place in the behaviour of the "gods," who now listen soberly and sensibly to the pieces, instead of hooting, whistling, and fighting

Ân Artistic Wager. throughout the livelong performance. This improvement has been brougnt about by large placards, pasted against the gallery walls,

The papers state that a large bed of paint of various colours and of which threaten instant expulsion in case of disturbance. We admiré superior quality has just been discovered in Michigan; it is said to be Mr. Cave's vigorous measures; he evidently knows bow to deal with three miles in length. An artist of our acquaintance declares that he a transpontine audience. The pieces at present on the Victoria bills will “lay his palette” there's no truth in the report. are a melodrama called “The Sin of a Life," and the comic drama "Giralda,” which are very respectably played. MR, LEWIS NANTON,

Literary. who seems the favourite, is an actor who will make a name.

Sir Rowland Hill is writing a history of penny postage. We

hear he has got well a-head with it, but we do not know whether it THE PATRON SAINT OF ENTOMOLOGIST8.- Good St. Antennæ.

will be issued in penny numbers, stamped.

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66

VOL. VI.

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PAIN AND TRAVEL.

BY A. C. Sw*NB*RNE.
ERPETUAL swaying of steamers,

Oh, terrible tumble of tides-
More dear than the drowsing of dreamers,

Who ramble by rustic road-sides !
Oh, lips that are pale with the anguish,

Let me see you again and again ;
They are yours when so seasick they languish,

Our Lady of Pain !
I gloat on the grins and the groaning,

The torments that torture—not kill:
And music to me is the moáning

Of travellers terribly ill.
A rapture I cannot unravel,

Their throes set a-thrill in my brain :
These—these are my pleasures of travel,

Our Lady of Pain !
And on landing I lose not the longing,

That mingles my manhood with mud:
For the merry musquitos come thronging,

With lips that laugh blithely in blood :
And fleas, with their

kisses that burn me,
Bite till cruel red mouths show the stain-
Into poesy passionate turn me,

Our Lady of Pain!
And the donkeys Egyptian and spiteful

Shall share in the shame of my hymns,
For the jolting that brands the delightful

Dark bruises on delicate limbs.
And the Alps shall be ranked with the asses

For the fracture, the frostbite, the sprain,
And the mangling of flesh in crevasses,

Our Lady of Pain !
And if-leaving me, though, unshattered-

An accident fell should betide,
And the train that I ride in is scattered

In ruin on every side-
Dislocations and discolourations,

And gush of bright gore, not in vain
Shall awake in me languid sensations,

Our Lady of Pain !
Thus I roam through the universe vasty,

O'er mountain, vale, meadow, and wood;
And I venerate all that is nasty,

And gird against all that is good;
In the mire my delight is to linger,

Although I to the heights might attain :
But you don't catch me scratching my finger,

Our Lady of Pain !

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OUR NATIONAL PORTRAIT GALLERY.-No. 5. BENJAMIN WEBSTER.

Similia Similibus Curantur. An Act has been passed by the Council at Simla declaring all the railway employés to be public servants, and therefore, by the penal code, subject to severe penalties for taking bribes. A mean old screw of our acquaintance says he wishes they would pass a Sim'lar Act in England.

Thereby Hangs a Tail. The Sheffield Telegraph contains a conspicuous advertisement announcing the sale of BROADABAD's carte at a shilling. We would give twenty times the money to see him whipt at its tail.

LITTLE ADDRESSES TO BIG NAMES.

Pooh, nover mind the Times !
Perhaps your supers are a seedy lot;
(And oh! good gracious, WBBSTER, are they not?)
Perhaps your scenery has had its day
(And that was rather distant, I should say);
Perhaps your house does want a little scrubbing;
The critic must be mad who takes to dubbing

Such little matters crimes.
A manager, an author, and an actor ;-

In one so versatile as you, my Ben,
The stage has got a triple benefictor-

And, if you lose your temper now and then
When critically lectured or admonished,
Of course we're sorry, but we're not astonished.

But where is Paul?-
Not singing, surely, at a music-hall ?

I hear he goes
About the country chanting "Jolly Nose!”

And CLARKE and TOOLE ?-
We're not so flush of talent, as a rule,

That we can bear
To waste its sweetness on provincial air.
You've built at Maybury an actor's college,

And paved it, probably, with good intentiods.
The act was noble; but, you must acknowledge,

The money for our poor old players' pensions
Might easily be made by better means
Than those improper Crystal Palace Scenes.

Irish News. We see it reported that recently the usual celebrations commemorating the raising of the siege of Derry were held, and in a fitting and Hibernian manner—by the singing of " Derry Down !

Photographic. M. ADOLPHE BEAU has just published tho first part of the Court Album. Of course it contains portraits of members of the Beau monde only.

Q. E. D. People seem surprised at the recent Fenian outrages. But, considering the numbers of Centres and Circles, it is only natural their conduct should sometimes be out-radius.

Backwards or Forwards. A CORRESPONDENT, who is, he says, a little backward, feels shy about asking for his Fun. He can ask for it a little backward and he will still be all right, for he will get A-NUF for his money either way!

VERY LIKE SENDING COALS TO NEWCASTLE.–Sending Bass's Beer to Malt-a.

When Found, Make a £500 Note of. The escaped Fenians Kelly and Deasy,

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TRIPLE ACROSTIC.

No. 31.
BY TH. SAUNTERER IN SOCIETY.

ENGLISH-born and English-bred :
UST now the Fenian conspiracy

Raise them from their lowly bed!
is becoming a real danger-

Bare-oh, bare the supple knife; but only in as far as it places

Yet, if wiso, you'll spare the life! deadly weapons in the hands

If you love them truly, you
of the ignorant and brutal, and

Will lament they are so few.
renders it possible that any of
us may at any moment be shot

1.
down by a ruffian ho fixes

If you wish to acquiesce
& quarrel on us. The authorities
have a difficult task before

This will do instead of "yes."
them;
they must punish

2.
promptly and severely, buît they

This means acquiescence too -
must be careful not to seem

This instead of "yes" will do.
dealing in the penalties which
Panic pronounces. As regards

3.
the Manchester case, there can

Now female novelists prevail, be no difficulty, however, as

And give us many a harrowing tale ;
regards the principal culprit.

From“ Dennis Donne" and "Birds of Prey,"
ALLEN shot down a policeman,

How pleasant 'tis to turn away,
who was simply doing his

To "Felix Holt” and “Adam Bede' duty; and whether he shot him

They're works of intellect indeed : to liberate COLONBL KELLY

Creations of George Eliot's brain or simple Bill Sukes, hanged he must be for a cowardly murderer.

We read again--and yet again; And although I think' all should be sentenced to death, the punish

This character is one of those ment might be commuted to penal servitude in the cases of those not

The world to that great writer owes. proved to have been seen armed with revolvers. The War Office has already opened its campaign of blunders in

4. connection with the Abyssinian expedition. Four officers have been If you find a dead body the course to pursue with it sent to Constantinople to purchase mules-they might as well have Is to call for an inquest-and then this you do with it. gone to the Eddystone Lighthouse for an elephant! This is the first

5. time the Department has been called upon to do any work of this sort since it was supposed to be entirely re-organised and reformed after

He came and shook his head the Crimean war. At present the bungling is only comical, but when

And very wisely said, the campaign commences, it is to be feared it will assume its old tragic

It was staggers and the case was so extreme aspect. I verily believe that we should save money as well as prestige

That the only proper course if we got our Public Office work done by private enterprise on com

If you wished to save the horse mission. Meanwhile, the mild clerk whô sent those officers out on

Was to bleed it—and at once produced a fleam. the fool's -or mule's—errand is doubtless saying, “Bless my soul! I

6. was under the impression-Ah!” while his fellow-clerks chaff him, and the authorities pen a minute about him, which he need not read

I live in it-you live in it-unless he likes.

All return, alack, to it; The Cornhill this month is welcome for its charming drawings by

We tread it under foot each minute, WALKE—now, alas, far too seldom met with on the wood. M188

But origin trace back to it! Edwards's picture is charming, and the number, on the whole, less ponderous than usual. “Our Rosalinds” will, I fear, scarcely per

ANSWER TO ACROSTIC No. 29. suade the public to the belief its writer holds of Mrs. Scott-Siddons's

P Puff F powers. The new magazine, St. Paul's, is very unattractive quoad

A Amo wrapper, but the contents seem good, of the Curnhill class. Belgravia

Y Youthful L is good, though some of the pictures are very poor—" Lusignan” is a

N Nail L clever Doresque bit, though. C. S. C. (the initials are well enough known to be those of Mr. Calverley) contributes some smart vers de

E Eastry Y societe; MR. THORNBURY, Mr. Sala, and MR. MORTIMER COLLINS are

CORRECT SOLUTIONS OF ACROSTIC No. 29, RECEIVED 2ND OCTOBER :- Ada M.; The pleasant reading. Mr. Scorpern's "Memoir of Faraday” is inferior. Sixty-Eight; Happy Isle; Ruby ; Trotty. F, Sebrach; Fanny B.; "For Johnc."; A propos of the inags., i see that Cassell's announces a new novel with

Bol; Cigarette; Uyterlimmage; Dignall; Sparkie ; Four Brokers ; K. P.; Boxley;

Breakside and H.; F. H.; J. D. P.; Old Trafford; Two B. C.; V. J. R.; Chumpkin; a very telling title—“Poor Humanity.”

A. A. ; Tosh; Painfully; M. B. P.; Betsy H.; Valentine; Tiny Ditton; D. M. Y.; I am sorry to see the name of Messrs. Metzler AND Co. to a

Pal o' Mine; Timber; Mike; S. and K.; Bunnie P.; C. N. W.; Dot; The Don; collection of comic songs, of the most worthless Music Hall style, and

Coombes; Erin go Bragh; Brummagem B.; Little B.; Doodles ; N. N. N.; Varney

the V.; Elton; Canterbury; Hedxehog; W. E. W.; L. M. H.; Nemo; Gwallia ; called (no, I shall not advertise her gratis) “Miss -'s Comic | A Clever Boy;' A 'Cute Youth; Froggy, Cecil; Neptune 22; D. E. H. Nobody's Song Book.” I believe the respectable publishers I nume were not aware

Child; Engineers Out of Work; Holdfast; W. H. T.; Epton ; Gyp Amieus; of the improper practices resorted to in the book. In the first place, a

2 Moreton Owls; Fanny; W. A. W.; B.; Scantine; A Little D.; Anna L.; Ixion;

Chang; Juwhit; Bowa; J. R. W. L.; E. S. K.; Edgely; R. O. Y.; T. M. H.; puffing preface is signed G. A. S, with the obvious intention of leading Scarle; A. G.; É. L. O.; Keg Meg; A Dark-F.yed Hussy; Emgy; Bondellis B.B.; people to suppose it is by a well-known writer. In the second place, Emma's H ; Stockenstrasse ; Mr. M.'s Twins; J. E. A.; P.A. Due Foscari several pages are devoted to quotations of the opinions of the press on

Hookey W.; Long J.; C. M. S.; F. W.; Polar; Knurr and Spell; Little Woman; the singer-and if Mr. HOLLINGSHEAD wants anything to give dramatic L; Two Clapham Contortionists; Philofun,

0. K.; Blinkbonry; A. J. R.; H. T.; Joyful Bufums; Darling Fluffy; Lolliquer criticisms a knock-down blow, I commend these pages to him. Among these notices appears the following :

Readers-and Rea ers. HALL BY THE SEA, MARGATE.-If Mad moiselle wishes to cultivate a fascinating style of singing, she should imitate .... Miss

."-Fun.

LOOKING over the daily and weekly journals, a sub-editor of our This contains two misrepresentations. First of all, by heading the be, they most of them were in dire need of one reader more-the

acquaintance was led to remark that, whatever their circulation might paragraph “Hall by the Sea," as the others are headed “Weston's,'' &c., it implies that Miss

printer's reader! has sung at the Hall, which she has not. And finally, the sentence quoted in a garbled form originally

Right He Was1 ran, “should imitate MADAME LEMMENS SHERRINGTON rather than M188 --” If this way of getting a favourable criticism is

An old Indian officer, on hearing that European as well as native honest, I should like to know

what is dishonest. I am not an opponent troops would be employed in the Abyssinian expedition, exclaimed, of the Music Hall, which I believe to be capable of good ; but the “ O, si Sikh omnia !sooner it gets rid of that awful thing, “the Comic Songstress,” the better for it and the sex.

In Triple Acrostics three words have to be discovered, the second being shown by the middle letters of the words, whose initials and finals show the first and third.

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