Page images
PDF
EPUB

Town Talk.

ing," a clever block by Miss Kate EDWARDS, and an illustration by the vigorous pencil of MR. PASQUIER, to an ingenious and well-told

“Story of a Mail Guard.Good Iords is more than ordinarily good this BY THE SAUNTERER IN SOCIETY.

month. There is a drawing, a charming one, by Walker, and it

illustrates a poem-a real poem-by Miss ISABELLA FYVIE. That's ERY far from de enough for the money, I think, without counting the rest of the

lighted must the number, though it contains a “Guild Court" instalment, with a pic-
LORD MAYOR | ture by PINWELL. The Sunday Magazine keeps up its number of illus-
have felt on the trations—and their excellence. “The Flight of Birds,” by the Duke
first day of his or ARGYLL, is concluded in this number. Tinsley's is good, too, this
dignity. Hiss- month. The editor has got his team well in hand now, and drives
ing, hooting, and them, as he can drive-admirably. “The Detrimental" is capital, and
rotten eggs, the novels swing on well. The “Disadvantages of Convalescence"
were the only has been better done by CHARLES LAMB. Routledge's Magazine for Boys
greetings he re- is quite up to the mark. Le Follet seems on its mettle now that the
ceived. Well, I regular mags. are going in for fashion plates. The Gardener's Magazine
can't say I pity | is full of wintry wisdom, and if it did nothing else, sent me off to
him mich. ‘H CARTER's Nursery, near Sydenham, where a peep into the houses was
saw that Mr. | like getting back into the middle of summer--a very pleasant sensa-
DISRAELI com- tion when one's own garden' has quite put on its winter weeds. So
ing out in the there's an end of the periodicals for this month, I believe, though
new and unex- there's such a lot of them now that as soon as one has run through one
pected rôle of a batch a fresh set begins to accumulate.
reformer was
universally
cheered and

DOUBLE ACROSTIC.
feted; and he

No. 37. appears to have

A GREAT man gone, a leader lost, thought a hum

Whose star untimely sank, ble imitation of

He leaves his country trouble-tost;
the CHANCELLOR

And this reveals his rank.
OF THE EXCHE-
QUER by the
worshipful the

When slangy folks come off the winners,
MAYOR would be

They use this term about the raffle ;
an equal success.

And robbers use it too, the sinners,
And indeed to

When people's vigilance they baffle,
see the leader of

2. the Conservative

Bat respectable persons in language polita party carrying a sweeping measure of reform, was scarcely more

Would describe their luck thus--and of course would be right. startling than to find the chief of the City Corporation trying to do away with tomfoolery and empty show. But the LORD MAYOR was not prepared to go such lengths as his model. A

If you talked about azimuth, nadir, and zero, genius might “ educate his party" right round from one point

To Deerslayer (Cooper's old leather-legged hero) of the political compass to its exact opposite, but the corporate

Of your speech were he apxious the sense to be gleaning, intelligence was not so bold. His worship could give up the man

He'd utter this word, asking " What is your meaning ?” in brass and the wicker giants, but he could not fling over the escort of cavalry, and clung to a few sbreds of the old show. The resultwas

Some said “ Have it out,” a miserable display—too shabby for a procession, too pretentious for

Others, “ Have it stopt !" anything less ceremonious. As touching the great question, “Shall

I say past a doubt the LORD Mayor have a show?" there is as much division as about

If but this were popt · the old question, “Shall Cromwell have a statue ?” If he is to bave

In your hollow tooth, you'd be a show (and there is much to be said for keeping-up ceremonials) for

Soon from all your anguish free. goodness eake let us have something really imposing and in good taste.

5. The greatest argument against his having a show is not that a few

With spectral band, with rapping table, people are checked for a few hours in the too general occupation of

With writing red upon his wrist, money-grabbing, but that the streets are for a time given up to

To summon spirits he is able ruffianism and robbery. If those elements could be eliminated, I don't

I call him this, and clench my fist. see why the LORD MAYOR should not have his show, the sight-seers their treat, and the banner-men, watermen, and other assistants their yearly five shillings and feast.

It grows in my garden, as lovely in hue As if the spectacle of a LORD MAYOR, hissed from the City to West

As the eyes of my darling, 80 terderly blue. minster and back, were not enough to make one rub one's eyes and ask

But it comes of the tribe that the cook would produco

If you asked for the stufling that's fittest for goose. Is this the Nineteenth Century P'' here we are, having bread riots, superadded to Fenian conspiracies in St. Giles's, and a general wearing of fire-arms. For this last evil the remedy would seem easy enough

A town in the North let there be a license for fire-arms—not a heavy one-and let all

Which-'tis written-brought forth unlicensed weapons be impounded, when found. Accidents as well as

A recluse world-renowned- an adventurous chap, crimes would be largely prevented, and a man would not care to pay

Vide one who, we know for a license unless he wanted the fire-arms for sporting purposes or as

Is the friend, not de foe a precaution against violent robbery. The boon such an enactment

Of all lads English-born whom you'd count worth a rap. would confer on dwellers in the suburbs would be immense, for they

ANSWER TO ACROSTIC No. 35. would be relieved of the incessant popping-and-banging (Sundays and week-days) which goes on in such neighbourhoods, where roughs and

B Bard idlers loaf about with guns, firing at every flying thing they see, to the

Alibi disturbance, and no less to the peril of the inhabitants. I shall be told

Nunc that the police have sufficient powers now to put a stop to this, but who

Quack ever saw a policeman (especially when he is wanted) in the suburbs ?

U Umpire I have lived a few miles out of London for some time past and the

Exposition N only policeman I have ever seen was one who called at the house and

T Templars S nearly frightened the servants into fits with a large printed handbill, headed “BURGLARY,” and describing the supernatural devices of house

SOLUTIONS OY ACROSTIO No. 35, RECEIVED 13Tu Nov.:-Disorderly Room; D.E.I.:

Holdfast: Trissie Cigarette; A. B., Fifeshire; L. O. A. F. ; Sainted Maria: M. B.. breakers for getting into houses through keyholes and down chimneys.

. Qucen's Coll. ; I. A. E.; Three Carshalton Tools; Nuf; Tiny Ditton; Pat: J. J.; London Society shows well this month with good " Thumbnail Sketch. Pluff ; Frank and Maria; Emsworth.

[graphic]

4.

A
N

[ocr errors]

goes.

MRS. BROWN IN AMERICA.

got oshuns of splendid clothes at 'ome, and won't never put 'em on,

tho' 'is wife, as ’is my own sister, goes down on 'er knees to 'im." I The Ways of New York.

says, “Indeed!” and was glad to 'ear as he were 'er sister's 'usband, I says to MRS. CHAUNCEY as I should feel obliged if she'd go along

for I didn't 'arf fancy 'im, but didn't say nothink, but 'ome I with me and see one of them Justices; as said she would with pleasure,

(To be continued.)
through a-wantin' to go and see MRS. LINKERY's clothes, as weró
for sale. I says, “Whoever's she?” “Why," she says, “ the widder
of our President, as were cruelly murdered of a Good Friday at the
theayter.” “Oh,” I says, “I never knowed as they was open, but,"

A RHYME UPON RHYMES.
I says, “lowever is it as he didn't take care on 'is widder, the same as
PRINCE HALBERT, 'as left 'is'n werry comfortable, but," I says, “poor

“ The sea gives her shells to the shingle," soul, if she's drove to sell 'er clothes, it must be Queer Street with 'er,

Because they're no good to the sea; as were the case with poor Mrs. Pain, as were left total unprovided, and

And I beg to offer a jingle drove to a arms''ouse without even the donkey-cart as poor Pain did

That's not of the least use to me. used to go round with wegetables, and a 'onest man, as I will say, for

Some rhymes I have got on some fly-leaves, that time as I give 'im a 'arf-crown a-thinkin' as it were a penny be

Among the contents of my desk, tween the lights, a-buyin' of some taters for Brown's supper, as is

Which I took, neither with leaves nor by leaves, particular partial to 'em baked with a black pudding, as is pretty eatin'

From some one's burlesque. in cold weather, when you can trust them as sells 'em. So she says as

I have weaved them to-day in a fashion, this poor lady's clothes was for sale in Broadway, and off we went to

Designed all their beauties to show. see 'em, as I nat'rally expected would be 'er crownation robes the

They may put purists into a passion, same as is shown in London at Madam Tussor's as bought 'em 'erself

But that won't be my fault, you know. of QueeN VICTORIA, not as she were drove to it thro' want.

Still, the harvest of rhyme to my sickle But as to MRS. LINKERN as is 'er name, 'er clothes was all werry

That falls, though decidedly queer, well, but nothing much to look at, and I should say as she might 'ave

Is just of the right sort to tickle got rid on 'em on the quiet, as won't fetch much except the lace, and

The fine cockney ear. no doubt if she's that bad off as the 'Merrykins as is a noble-'arted lot will make it all right for 'er, and so I told the party as were a-showing

THESE ARE THE RHYMES. 'em, as cut me rather short. So I says to MRS. CHAUNCEY as we'd

I quitted Baden Baden, better go, and so we did, and got downstairs and stood for a moment

Where I left Sir WATER CARDEN, a-talkin' at the door when up comes a perliceman and tells us not to (Whom the Telegraph is hard on), and I journeyed next to Basle. stop the doorway. Well, I moves a little further and was a-restin'

Like a knight of good KING ARTHUR myself agin a iron rail, up comes the perliceman, and says, “You

I thought that I would rather mustn't set 'ere." I says, “I ain't a settin,'” no more I wasn't, but Keep on always going farther; but I called the Kellner, Carl; only a-leanin', as proved too much for them railin's, as were only a

And I said, “In this here quarter a gate as opened with my weight, and if a man 'adn't been comin' up

Are there boats upon the water?". the steps with a basket of oyster-shells on 'is 'ead, I should ’ave gone “ Yes," says he, “but they the sort as you'd not like to sail in far.down back'ards, as made that perliceman grin, and the coloured party

Just then there comes a letter as was a-carryin' them oyster-shells he said as it were lucky as I

From the beautiful RoseTTA didn't bust ’im.

(No marvel that they pet her), who was there with her papa. MRS. CHAUNCEY she were a-starin' in at a shop-winder a-talkin' to a

In London last I'd seen her friend as she'd met with, and she says, “Mrs. Brown, this 'ere is a

And her sister, fair GEORGINA, gentleman as is a lawyer, and ’ave been a judge.” “Oh," I says, ' Whose eyes are somewhat greener, though I fancy she's the star. * indeed! Then,” I says, “pre'aps he can tell me about that 'ere

But their cousin, sprightly SARAH, perliceman as 'ave got that pocket-book.” “Yes,” she says, “and

Than both of them is fairer, he'll see you ’ave your rights thro' a-knowin' them perlice and their | And her style of beauty's rarer, and her eyes were bright as Spa. ways, as is downright tyrants.” So she says, a-turnin' to 'er friend,

But I've flirted much with FLORA, “MR. Bogisson, this is Mrs. Brown," as I made my obedience to 'im,

And have said that I adore her; but was that friendly, as he shook 'ands and said as he'd 'eard a deal Though I told the same to LAURA, which was going much too far. about me, and quite looked on me as a old friend.

And my words to Arabella, He certainly did not look much like a lawyer, let alone a judge;

When my love I dared to tell her. thro' bein' that shabby in 'is clothes, which was reg'lar rags in places,

Were those I spoke to STELLA, who referred me to mamma. with 'is boots as ’adn't seen blackin' for weeks, I should say, with a

As sloops are to a liner shirt as was filthy, and matched ’is face and 'ands, and kep' a-chewin',

Were all those girls to DINAH, and smelt fearful of sperrits, and as pale as death. When he'd 'eard who is infinitely finer than a fairy or a fawn; my story, as he didn't seem arf to listen to, he says, “Ah, the rascal !

And never would I leave her This must be looked into, and I'll make 'im pay; but,” he says," it will

Except perhaps for Eva, cost you money.” “Oh," I says, “I don't want to go to law, as may Whose other name is Cleaver, and who's lovely as the morn. cost me thousands, and end in the work'ouse the same as MRB. LAN

When I'd twice perused the letter BERT, as 'er father left thousands to, as never got 'er rights, tho' at

From the beautiful Rosetta, law over thirty years, and was sent to jail for the costs."

I concluded I had better be off at once from Basle. So he says, “ 'Old up a minnit; you goes ahead too quick.” So I

And, quick as shell from mortar, says, “ Excuse me, but 'ow much will it cost ?“Why," he says,

Before papa had caught a “ ten dollars to-day for me to search the records.” Why," I says, 'Likely husband for his daughter, I had taken leave of Carl. “they surely don't keep the perlice in the records, as will be easy

“I'll go home," said I, “and learn a found thro' me 'aving took 'is number.” He says, “ Let's 'ave it.”

Lesson out of Mary Turner; “ Law," I says, “ what is to be done?” Says the lawyer, “Never The rules of rhyming stern are in the school that I adore. mind; I'll ketch 'im sure. But,” he says, “wait a moment; I must

"And B. is not an author just step round 'ere and see a man; I won't be a minnit.”.

In the class who third or fourth are, Nor more he wern't, but smelt wuss of liquor than ever. So, when But from the well of Chaucer doth continually draw. he come back, he says, “'Ave you got the money about you ?" I says, “I've got fifteen dollars." He says, “That'll do for to-day. Now," he says, "you meet me to-morrer, at twelve to the minnit, at

Sold Again! the City 'All, as is a large buildin' with a flight of steps up to as is

COMMENTING on gentlemen-rider matches at the late Houghton white marble, leastways would be but for tobaccer juice, as stains

Meeting at Nowmarket, the “ leading journal” says:everythink.” So I says, “I'll be there to the minnit.” He says, “ Bring ten dollars, in case I should want to pay the fees, as is 'eary

"There is rather a rage for gentlemen-rider matches here now, a thing unheard

of in the old Newmarket days--somewhat provincial, we venture to think it, and in sich cases."

derogating from the legitimate form of head-quarters. One of them, between Well, he walks 'isself off all of a 'urry, without sayin' “Good morn Colonel Knox and Mr. Reginald Herbert, wound up the sport of the afternoon, the ing," or anythink. So I says to Mrs. Chauncey as he were werry former, on Shrapnell, squandering his opponent.short. “On," she says, “ bless you, the judges is a-waitin' for 'im, as We have too often heard of people being sold on the turf, but to can't get on without 'im.” “Ah," I says, “I suppose he's got to go “squander his opponent" is about the last act of which we supposed a 'ome and dress.” She says, “ Bless you, no ; That's 'is way, as ’ave gentleman jockey capable.

[graphic][ocr errors][ocr errors][ocr errors][ocr errors]

A NATURAL REFLECTION: Philosophical Damsel (with the peculiar chignon) :-" HOW ABSURD IT SEEMS THAT NATURE SHOULD COMPEL THAT POOR ANIMAL TO WEAR THAT LUMP ON ITS NECK!”

AN OLD LOVE. LINES TO A WIDOW, BY AN ANCIENT FLAME. It is not that I love you less devotedly than when Your summers were but twenty-and your children were not ten. You the queen of this poor bosom in my fancy still I crown, As when your name was PARKER, and before you married Brown. No! I love you still as fondly as I did in days of yore, When I used to call at tea-time, or a little bit before ; When I used to bring the kettle, pour the water in the pot; When I proffered warm affections, and I handed muffins hot. No! I love you still as fondly as I did in ancient days, When we used to go out walking in our sentimental ways; When I handed you politely over stile and over gutter, And my feet were in a puddle and my beart was in a flutter. Then there came a separation, and it cost us sighs and tearsOur paths, they were divided, as you know, for many years. And when at length we met again, the changes were not few! I had taken a drysaltery—and Brown had taken you. But I love you still as fondly as I used to love you then, And could I only wed you, should be happiest of men. But the love of age is wiser than the love of youth by farIt likes its shares at premium and does not care for par. Your wedding Brown I pardon-for they say that he died “warm," And wealth would guild the ravages of time on that dear form,Yet an obstacle arises—but one obstacle—and that's That I'm told that all the money has been settled on the brats!

A Slip “Not.” It is desirable and convenient, when a public writer happens to have a meaning to express, that he should express that meaning, rather than its very opposite. The author of the following sentences, quoted from a leading article in the Daily Telegraph, seems to say something quite contrary to common-sense, and therefore, let us charitably assume, to his own real opinion :

“The personal liberty which we all enjoy could hardly be maintained if the guardians of the streets were not, as a rule, inaccessible to bribery, and not to be hindered by fear or favour from discharging their duty."

“ The personal liberty which we all enjoy” is, in fact, maintained despite the lamentable truth that “the guardians of the streets" are sometimes “hindered by fear or favour from discharging their duty;" and the proposition that, if they were not to be so hindered, there would be a consequently increased difficulty in the maintenance of our personal liberty is merely-a muddle.

Walk your Chalks. A FOXHUNTER is to an Englishman the emblem of goodnature and geniality-one of the “right sort”—and certainly MR. SCRATTON, who hunts a country of very considerable extent, is no exception to the rule. Dining with the gentlemen of the hunt at the Royal Hotel, Southend, he is reported, in Bell's Life, to have said:

“He thanked those who had walked puppies for him.” We cordially endorse MR. Scratron's sentiments, and shall be only too happy to return our hearty thanks to the person who “ walked" å watch for us some time since, if he will have the kindness to return it.

Within a "T." PARISIAN POLICE-Detective. London ditto-Defective.

The Antiquity of Fenianism. FENIANISM dates very much farther back than most people suppose. We would remind our readers that when Herodias's daughter was | living there was a head-sent-her.

[graphic][ocr errors][subsumed][ocr errors][subsumed][subsumed][merged small]

Ch*nc*l*r of Exch“quer :-“WILL YOU OBLIGE ME BY JUST WRITING YOUR NAME ACROSS THIS LITTLE SLIP OF PAPER P_IT IS A MERE MATTER OF FORM.”

« PreviousContinue »