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poor sister, as I felt for thro' that feller 'avin' stripped of everythink? MRS. BROWN IN AMERICA.

as 'ad been playin' a game, and reg'lar stuffin' up poor Mrs. ChauxCEY (Continued from our last.)

with them lies about 'is bein' President, as said as she'd’ave trusted 'er

life with that man; “ But," she says, “what I cares for is the way as The next day I was off in good time, but what with them cars

he's been and robbed you ; but,” she says, “ you ehall be paid, for there's a-gettin' stuck with a cart across the tramway, thro' a 'orse a-jibbin',

my sister's property as will be sold and fetch ten thousand dollars the as they calls it, and then me not a-rushin' on board the ferry-boat for to risk my life. I was left behind, and so never got to that City 'All

week after next.” “I says, “'Ow came he to leave 'er that?” “Oh,"

she says, “he ain't no power over all her property, tho' he's got a good till five minutes past twelve, and there wasn't a westment of that

deal-a scoundrel !--as I'll search the world thro' but I'll find 'im, if lawyer wisible. I was vexed, for I didn't know where to find him,

he's above ground." and dins. CHANCEY, she were not able to come with me, so I had my trouble for my pains, as the sayin' is, and 'ad to go 'ome, and in the

1 I don't think as ever I see any one more wexed than that poor hevenin' Mns. CHAUNCEY come in to my room, and said as 'er brother

| woman, as took on so'about me bein' robbed by that feller, and Mrs. in-law had waited 'ours for me and wasted 'is time, tho' he'd paid the

SKIDMORE quite short with 'er, a-sayin' as she wanted 'er board money

| as she promised 'er next week, and said as 'er boxes 'ad things in 'em fees out of 'is own pocket, and wanted me to go the next day and take

tenfold the value of 'er board, as were only two weeks behind, as I five-and-twenty dollars, and indemnify that perliceman as he got 'is

I could speak to, for I'd see silk dresses myself in that box as was worth eye on. I wouldn't be too late the next day, but got there a 'our too soon, as were the same place to meet at. I waited over a 'our, when

pounds, besides a gold chain and ornyments as Mrs. CHAUNCEY said

she didn't wear cos they looked like givin' herself airs as didn't beup come that Mr. Bogisson, and says, “'Ave you got the money, as there ain't a minit to lose

come no widder. Well, she went off with them things under my The Judge is a-waitin' for it.” So I

shawl, as she wore thro' not a-wanting Mrs. SKIDMORE to pry into 'er give 'im the five-and-twenty dollars, leastways thirty, thro' only 'avin' three ten-dollar bills. Off he went like a shot round the corner..

business, as is werry disagreeable we all knows; and as to MRS. SKIDMrs. CHAUNCEY, as 'ad come along with me, she says, “'Ow that

MORE, she were as sulky as a bear for days arter, as Mrs. CHAUNCEY one 'ead 'olds it all I can't make out, for he's got everything on 'is

didn't come back, and I began to feel a little bit fidgety, but no doubt shoulders, as might be President, but it ain't worth 'is while.”

it's right.

I says, “ Not worth 'is while ? What do you mean?” “Why," she says, “it's mean pay as the President gets, as is nearly all spent in drinks,

THE SONG OF "THE SPONGE." thro' 'avin' such lots of parties as he's obligated for to stand treat to." I says, “No doubt, for I' ve 'eard say as the LORD MAYOR ’isself spends

I HAVE a friend, a trusty friend--this is an awful tale, a fortin' in dinners thro' a lot of parties as reg'lar eats 'im up.” I says,

Will make the most audacious cheek immediately pale; “I suppose he'll be back in a minit or two?" "Well,” she says,

And he's become a mystery, a mystery to me, “pre'aps, but he is that busy as he don't sometimes take 'is clothes off

Though further than my neighbours into millstones can see. for weeks." I says, “ So I should think.”

He lived a very quiet life, it boots not to say where, So we walks up and down for a bit, and then Mrs. CHAUNCEY says, In Gray's Inn or the Temple, or a stucco West-end equare. “Dear me, there's one o'clock, as promised I'd be with my mother by He was the mildest of mankind, devoid of guile and sin, 'arf-past twelve." I says, “Is it far off?” She says, “ Over in Jersey." And calmly smoked his pipe, and took a casual glass of gin. “Nonsense," I says, “ why, that's further than England," but she

He was, indeed, what you might call an intellectual bloke, only meant jest over the water as they calls Jersey, as makes it werry

Likewise he was a merry wag, and dearly loved a joke; confusin' to any one as isn't up to their ways. So off she went, and I waited another 'arf-hour, and then 'ome I

He had a most stentorian voice, and in a pleasing style went with rather a misgivin' as all were not right. MRS. CHAUNCEY

Could take a part in catch or glee, and archly could he smile. she never come 'ome all night, nor yet the next day, as 'ad said she

But now a fearful change has come across his spirit's dream; might be kep' with 'er mother, as she told me were sick. When I

His tongue hath lost its quips and jokes, his eye bath lost its gleam. told Brown, as 'ad been away for near a week, he only said as I'd And he's a man of mystery, for when I go to sup, been doce again, and went off to sleep. So I thought as I would not

I find his oak is sported—and his windows lighted up. be made a fool on, and the next day I goes up to that 'all where I was No answer comes, although I kick; I bang the door in vain, told the Judges was. I asks a party as were a-standin' at the door of I whistle the familiar tune beneath the window pane. one of them rooms which were the Judge, as pi’nted to a party as were I roar, and shout, and execute a war-dance on the ground, a-talkin'. I says, “Go along with your rubbish, as if I didn't know a And then I listen at the door, but never hear a sound. Judge when I sees 'im, as any one can tell in a minit, for his wig and and gownd.” “Oh,” says the man, “we ain't none of that trash

It may be that he loves me not, and looks with anxious eye 'ere." I says, “ What are you a-callin' trash ? as is what I should call

At one peculiar trick I've got of drinking bottles dry. one Judge as I've seen with 'ardly a shoe to 'is foot."

It may be that my presence now upon his spirit jars, So I walks into the room and began a-askin' for the Judge. A

And he remembers how I smoked a score of his cigarg. perliceman as was there told me to be quiet. I says, “Don't you He may be ill and disinclined for company each nightinterfere with me, as don't want you, as knows you well.” So he says, And yet he keeps his windows in a perfect blaze of light. " Clear out, and don't bother.” I says, “I will see the Judge.” Just It may be that society upon his spirit palls, as I were a-talkin' a werry pice gentleman as come up said, “What's And he is weary of the world and kettle drums and balls. the trouble?" So I says, “Sir, I wants to see a Judge as'll see me

It may be he's engaged upon an epic or a tale, righted.” “Well," says he, “I'm a Judge." I says, “Oh, indeed !"

That intellectual labour makes his manly cheek grow pale. for I was took aback, for, tho' quite the gentleman, he wasn't no more

It may be that he shuts his door and sits before his glass, like a Judge, with a short jacket on and a moustache, than me. But he spoke werry kind, and said as I'd been treated sbameful, and if I could

And struts about and postures, an unmitigated ass. ketch that lawyer feller as weren't no lawyer at all. I says, “Escuse

He is a mystery to me, I think I've said before, me, my Lord, but he must be a lawyer, thro' bein' MRS. CHAUNCEY'S His windows flare to every sky, and still he shuts his door. brother-in-law.” “Well," he said, "he's a rascal, and if you bring I'll swear he is a Fenian, and take the Peelers in, 'im in my way I'll punish 'im.”

And, as of old, he'll give me eleemosynary gin. Well, jest as I were a-goin' to speak, I says, “There he is,"

I meet him sometimes in the street, the subject of my rhymes, a-meanin' that perliceman as I'd give the pocket-book to, as just come I see him with a sardine box and Illustrated Times ; up, “I says, “That's the man, my Lord.” “Oh," says the Judge, Some chocolate he carries, too, and makes a lively pun that can't be, he's a officer."' * Yes," I says, “and 'ave got the

He's probably extracted from the current part of Fun. pocket-book." Well, the Judge calls 'im, and up he comes, and reg'lar brazened it out as the pocket-book were full of false money, and as the

And still there is this mystery, this very churlish dog, Judge sided with 'im, I could say no more, 80 out I goes, a-wowin'

He will not let me enter and have my glass of grog.

It's gone on now for many weeks, it's quite beyond a joke, wengeance agin that lawyer. That werry night Mrs. CHAUNCEY she come 'ome, and told me as

To cadge for evening stimulants and find a sported oak. that Bogisson 'ad been and deserted 'er sister, and left 'em without a crust, and I thought as she'd 'ave broke 'er 'art a-cryin', a-sayin' as

Reason or Instinct ? 'er poor sister were that bad with a infant only three days old, and not 'ardly a rag to cover 'er, as she says, “I'm come to fetch some of my! A FRIEND of ours possesses a retriever so highly trained that he will, own things for 'er, and must go back at once, for 'er life's in danger; at the word of command, fetch a copy of TUPPER'S “Proverbiai and,” she says, “I shan't get my money till Tuesday, and ’ave give Philosophy" from the nearest bookseller's, but-sensible animal-he my last dollar to my poor dear mother, as I don't expect to see the never attempts to swallow the contents. That dog deserves a testimonial mornin'.” Well, I lent her ten dollars, and my warm shawl for 'er -a boney-fide one.

BAINES CAREW, GENTLEMAN.

OF all the good attorneys who

Have placed their names upon the roll, But few could equal BAINES CAREW

For tenderheartedness and soul.

Whene'er he heard a tale of woe

From client A. or client B.,
His grief would overcome him so

He'd scarce have strength to take his fee.

“She makes me sing, Too whit, too wee!'

And stand upon a rounded stick, And always introduces me

To every one as ‘Pretty Dick'!" “Oh, dear,” said weeping Baines CAREW,

This is the direst case I know”— “I'm grieved,” said BAGG, “at paining you

To Cobb and POTTERTHWAITE I'll go“ To Cobb's cold calculating ear

My gruesome sorrows I'll impart"“No; stop," said BAINES, “I'll dry my tear,

And steel my sympathetic heart!" “She makes nie perch upon a tree,

Rewarding me with, Sweety-nice!' And threatens to exbibit me

With four or five performing mice." “Restrain my tears I wish I could,"

Said BAINES, “I don't know what to do!" Said CAPTAIN Bagg, “ You're very good!”

Oh, not at all,” said BAINES CAREW.

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It laid him up for many days,

When duty led him to distrain,
And serving writs, although it pays,

Gave him excruciating pain.
He made out costs, distrained for rent,

Foreclosed and sued, with moistened eye-
No bill of costs could represent

The value of such sympathy. No charges can approximate

The worth of sympathy with woe ;Although I think I ought to state

He did his best to make them so. Of all the many clients who

Had mustered round his legal flag, No single client of the crew

Was half so dear as Captain Bagg. Now CAPTAIN Bagg had bowed him to

A heavy matrimonial yokeHis wifey had of faults a few

She never could resist a joke. Her chaff at first he meekly bore

Till unendurable it grew. “ To stop this persecution sore

I will consult my friend Cakew. “ And when CAREW's advice I've got

Divorce a mensű I shall try" (A legal separation—not

A vinculo conjugii.) “Oh, BAINES CARBW, my woo I've kept

A seeret, hitherto, you know:"(And Baines CAREW, ESQUIRE, he wept

To hear that Bags had any woe.)

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“ She makes me fire a gun," said Bago,

“And, at a preconcerted word, Climb up a ladder with a flag,

Like any street-performing bird. “She places sugar in my way,

In public places calls me Sweet!' She gives me groundsel every day,

And hard canary seed to eat.' “ Oh woe! Oh sad! Oh dire to tell!”.

(Said Baines,) “ Be good enough to stop"And senseless on the floor he fell

With unpremeditated flop.

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“My case, indeed, is passing sad,

My wife—whom I considered true With brutal conduct drives me mad."

“I am appalled,” said BAINES Carew. “ What! sound the matrimonial knell

Of worthy people such as these ! Why was I an attorney? Well

Go on-the cruelty, sir, please.' “ Domestic bliss has proved my bane,

A harder case you never heard, My wife (in other matters sane)

Pretends that I'm a dicky bird !

Said CAPTAIN Bagg, “ Well, really I

Am grieved to think it pains you so, I thank you for your sympathy,

But, hang it-come-I say, you know!" But Baines lay flat upon the floor,

Convulsed with sympathetic sobThe Captain toddled off next door,

And gave the case to MR. COBB.

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FROM OUR STALL.

AN ADDRESS ON AN ADDRESS. THE production of La Grande Duchesse de Gerolstein at Covent Garden

You wear a legal gown and wig, is an interesting experiment. Half the inhabitants of Paris went mad

You know the way to wield a brief, over the piece; and even in sober London-where nobody is mad

To raise your voice in accents big, enough to go mad about comic operas-its first performance created an

Or make it tremulous with grief; absolute furore. We have no special reason over here, as they have in

You plead a cause, in short, with grace, France, for laughing at an elaborate satire on German military

With fitting gestures, fitting tones :matters. We have no SCHNEIDER and no DUPUIS. Certainly we have

Take up that Deputation's case, no COUDHER, for he died of gout the other day- and we are told by a

My JONE8 ! daily paper that his death was occasioned by the exertion of singing GENERAL Boon's music. Lastly, the English libretto which may or

And teach them plainly what is what; may not be a faithful translation, is far from elegant, and farther from

Point out how very wrong they wentfunny. But the delightful music nearly or quite atones for all these

To fright an office-keeper's not drawbacks. The composer of La Grande Duchesse plagiarizes now and

To overawe a Governmentthen from OFFENBACH, as the composer of Semiramide plagiarized very

That talking through an oaken door often from RoesInI; Buch thefts are easily forgiven. The “sabre"

At Ministers, with hoots and groans, song will be hummed, whistled, and sung about London for ever so

Is silly, tell them I implore, long. GENERAL Boom's parody on “Piff Puff" is an exquisite piece

My JONES! of caricature. Every bar of the music, in short, is charming; and

And show that loudly spouting what nearly all the spoken parts of the opera might be cut out with advantage.

Would be-my language is direct Miss JULIA MATHEWS has a pleasant and flexible voice, but alas ! it is

Rebellion, if it were not rot, not always in tune. Her acting is hardly so humorous as we could wish

Is scarce the way to win respect. it; but the stage of Covent Garden is not the best of all places in the

“Soft words don't butter parsnips”-true! world for trying to be funny in. One might as well make faces in the

But also, “ Big ones break no bones.” centre of Salisbury Plain to amuse the inmates of the surrounding

Pray tell them noise proves nothing,-doy villages. MR. W. HARRISON is a very satisfactory Fritz ; we doubt

My JONES! whether a better one could have been found in England. MR. AYNSLEY Cook is a little too extravagant as the General. He overacted and

In public offices to brawl, oversang in the first act on the opening night; in the second act he was

To hector over servants there, comparatively tame and positively hoarse. It is a terrific part-a part

Then bolt when the police they callfor a bullock to play; and, if it really induces gout, we can only say to

Is no heroie grand affair. MR. Cook in the language of the advertisements, “Look to your

Oh, rate them for that ugly rush, Feet!" "Mr. STOYLE plays and sings like an artist; MR. FRANK

Éach thinking man of them bemoansMATTHEWS plays like an artist, and sings-- ? Out of a tiny part,

For which I feel that you must blush, almost pantomimic, MR. FRED PAYNE makes immense fun, and gets a

My JONES! roar at every entrance and exit. Oh, a thousand pardons, Miss AUGUSTA THOMPSON; we were forgetting you—how could we forget that

Tripping. you act and sing charmingly? The Grande Duchesse is beautifully

A CONTEMPORARY informs us that “The young women of Kenosha, mounted, thanks to MR. AUGUSTUS HARRIS, under whose direction it

| Wisconsin, are to compete for prizes at a dancing tournament." has been brought out. The new Romeo is a very handsome creature. We do not much like

Surely, this is putting the matter on a wrong footing. Tournaments

| were for the display of feats of arms, not of feats of legs. At the Miss VESTVALI's performance, because we consider it too loud; but

| dancing competition the president will be the King of (dancing) Booty, there cannot be two opinions about Miss VestvalI's face and figure. Miss MILLY PALMER plays Juliet with great earnestness and consider

: we suppose, and list slippers will be excluded from the lists. able passion. This young lady deserves a more prominent position than the one she has hitherto occupied on the London stage. MR.

Answers to Correspondents. RYDER declaims sonorously as Friar Lawrence, and Mrs. MARSTON is the very best Nurse we have.

[We cannot return rejected MSS. or Sketches unless they are accompanied Ar the St. James's Theatre, MORTON's School of Reform has been bu a stamped and directed envelope. We can take no notice of communicarevived. The performance of MR. J. S. CLARKE in the part of Tykel tions with illegible signatures or monograms.] is artistic in the highest degree. Whether he speaks the Yorkshire

J. R. (Tonbridge.)-Your “ Lament from the Poultry" is ill-we will dialect properly we confess ourselves unable to decide; we will content

not say, foully-done. Amend thy ways; thy letter describes thee as one ourselves with saying that he quite made us laugh and nearly made us who “almost wants his dinner;" and, indeed, thou showest signs of empticry. It is no small merit in Mr. CLARKE to have achieved so thorough

it in Mr. CLARKE to have achieved so thoroughness, and that not of stomach only! a success, when surrounded by all the difficulties of a scratch company. A DISAPPOINTED PARTY:-Doomed to another disappointment-declined Miss Bupton and MR. IRVING are the only two performers worth with thanks. looking at or listening to in all that company.

TYRO ETONIENSIS. If you did but know how we tire-o' the double ALL people who like to laugh till they cry should see the Christy's | acrostics sent us, after our repeated notice that we don't want them! Minstrels in their imitation of the Beni-Zoug-Zoug Arabs. It is the

H. M. (Craven-street.)– We hear on good authority that Mr. Rimmell drollest thing imaginable, and as complete in its way as the serious

intends to prosecute the next person who perpetrates the worn-out joke of musical part of the performance. The counter-tenor of Mr. RAWLINSON

calling him a head-scenter. We are glad to hear it, and we shall send him

your name and address at once. and the bones of MR. G. W. MOORE are as well worth hearing as ever.

W. X.-See last answer. We are glad to note that a new pianiste, M188 AMY COYNE, the

G. W. Y.-We don't do that sort of thing. daughter of the well-known littérateur and dramatist, MR. STERLING A. B. (Baxter-road) asks, “ Are the inclosed good for anything?" No; COYNE, made a successful débût last week at the Crystal Palace Con- I Good for nothing. certs. Miss COYNE has been studying in Germany, under HILLER, Q. C. S.-We don't " want your address to send you a cheque." You the accomplished master of many accomplished pupils.

must be content with a check instead.

THE AUTHOR OF “NEOROBIONCOPALEEN," &c., has not forwarded a

stamped envelope for the return of his sketches. From the Heart-ic Regions.

HUMBUG.-Look back and you will find your answer.

T. HAWKINS.—Your communication was answered as H. M. You wrote The Hull whalers have had a bad time of it last season, many of your St. Mark so like H. Mark, that we thought it was your name. them returning to port comparatively “clean.” Strange sights abound A SOLDIER.- We do not see the journal to which you refer. in those little-frequented latitudes, yet everything that came under the S. W. (Parliament-street).-Drawing of no use to us. notice of the crews was so very unlike a whale that it almost had the G. R. S.-Notion not bad, but workmanship very feeble. effect of making the men themselves “blubber.”

MABEL.--The sketches, we regret to say, aro valueless.

Declined with thanks.-J. A, Exeter; N. W. J.; Literate; I. L. A.,

Sheffield; Manx; C. H. W., Somerset House; Tim, Glasgow ; Alpha, Not so Black as they Seem.

Middlesex ; J. A.D., Glasgow; F. F.; H., Dublin'; M., Glasgow; A. c. c.; Many lessons may be learnt by “civilized” nations from the savage.

Laius; No Egg; J. C., Edenderry; Good Gracious ; Juvenilis; Sky

Blue;' Tom; 11.' w., Grove-place; F. W., Ludgate-hüll; H., Dublin; We speak within the bills of mortality when we assert that pocket

Blanch; “Off to Pastors New;" T. S., Chester-crescent; A. W., Cam

Blas picking is an offence absolutely unknown among the aborigines of bridge :'R. L.; F. W., Howard-street; Joryst B.; A. L. G.; Digby; Australia. This speaks volumes not only for their honesty but for Query; E. P. J.; The 'o'00; C. B., Notting-hill; AN; J. W. H. Fentheir simplicity of costume.

church-street; Fin; E. T. B., Newark.

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THE WALRUS.

hunting the Kangaroo and the Walrus, as they came with the summer

guns across the Persian Gulf to seek the golden nutmegs of the illimit. BY OUR OWN OLD SHEKARRY.

able West. “This animal" said I “is amphibious, and therefore can It is delightful to the hardy hunter for whom the toils of the chase

stand on its hind legs! How marvellous the strength and activity are over to contemplate the brute creation in their subjection to the

with which it swings its huge bulk into the top of the feathery palms, power of man. He has so often been made painfully aware of the

there to seek with its fleshy antennæ the Corus valvulus, or leathery exact opposite when toiling under the heat of a tropical sun, he has

whelk; how often have I tracked you (I was apostrophising the destriven in vain to subjugate the morose mosquito or by the frozen flood

jected walrus) by the spoor that your vast flippers have left in the of the foaming Frith has stood for hours in the deep disappointment,

otherwise pathless gum groves of the Guinea Gulf. How your sire which mocked his efforts to hook the hardy haddock and drag the

and dam"-"I beg you pardon, Sir," said the attendant respectfully, dripping dab from its lymphatic lair ; that as he sits cross-legged and

“but he ain't accustomed to such language as those; and I ask you, Sir, gloats with semi-savage glee over the imprisonment of the mild hyæna

as is, I'm told, a old Shekarry,—an' you knows best what that means, – and the degradation of the King of Beasts; he not inexcusably ex

how you'd like it yourself ?" periences a thrill of pride and laughs aloud as he interprets for himself

The rebuke was just. I have had a brotherly feeling for the walrus the inarticulate eloquence which is expressed from a hundred hairy

from my boyhood. muzzles. Still greater will be his inward satisfaction if to the memory of the

Certified Chronometers. perils of the chase, he adds that scientific knowledge without which

“ The Channel squadron having put into Plymouth, leave was given to the the hunter, to say nothing of the Shekarry—is lost in the vast

watches to go on shore till the morning, and one only remained unaccounted for." wilderness of difficulty and doubt; and will probably fall a prey to the -Speech of the First Lord, at Guildhall. white ant, the gallynipper, the jigger of the western slopes, or the

BLITHE CORRY, disclaiming the epithet slow, voracious bugaboo of the boundless prairie. And yet how few of our

A feat of Whitehall regulation can show; rising generation really know anything of the nature and habitat of

For watches, ashore with alacrity popped, those strange creations which nature is for ever consigning to our

Kept excellent time, and but one of 'em stopped. shores. Alas, political economy and the rights of labour are now taught in our schools where once the stickleback and the cockchafer held a place; so that even the spoilt children of society, the effeminate idlers

The Beery Barometer. of salons and the loungers upon the gilded couches of corrupt civilization

A CONTEMPORARY observes, “ A tolerably fair barometer of the true remain in ignorance even of the monsters which inhabit the beverages

| state of the barley harvest may generally be read at this season of the that they consume; and seldom reflect upon the strange and struggling

year in the price of Burton Ales.” The peculiarity of this barometer forms of brute life which animate the sausage of commerce or the vol au vent of daily consumption. I was watching one of these votaries of

consists-if it is a Fair expression- in its proneness to stand at Very fashion, these soft-handed feather-bed dundies only on last Sunday as

Dry so long as Change lasts, after which it generally veers round to

Stormy. I stood by the den to which the latest Zoological animal has been consigned. I had been reflecting on the ignorance which distinguishes mankind from the ape of the bosky Himalayas or from the Seal of the

NOTICE.Now Ready, price Twopence, Labrador reaches, and memory aided by the profound studies and un

FUN ALMANAC, tiring observations of years of hardy enterprise, had carried one back Sixteen pages, Toned Paper, with numerous Illustrations, engraved by to the time when I was alone in the Great Tartaric Acid Steppes the DALZIBL BROTHERS.

Printed by JUDD & GLAS8, Phænis Works, St. Andrew's Hm, Doctors' Commons, and Published (for the Proprietor) by TIIOVAS BAKER, at 80, Fleet-street, .C.

LONDON : November 30, 1867.

years ago, when she had recently entered Parliament as member for the Hundreds of Chiltern. The Church is not what it used to be. Parliament is not what it used to be. Everything is not what it used to be. I am not what I used to be.

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DOUBLE ACROSTIC.

No. 39.
Now Christmas is coming, in spite of fine weather,
From all parts of England they'll gather together :
By men, like themselves, rather fat and full-bodied,
They'll soon have their sides felt, and punched at and

prodded:
And all, whether honoured by medal or card,
Will be led to their fate in a blood-boltered yard.
But don't let the notion occasion you pain-
At dinner by Christmas you'll meet them again.

There was a king in Thule

(As Goethe has observed),
Who took his liquor duly-

From that he never swerved :
But what he flung in the sea ono day
Was a thing too good to be thrown away!

2.
If you've e'er read The Curse of Kehama

(You probably haven't, I wis),
You'll know that believers in Brahma
Are constantly watching for this.

3.
The bare has many friends—see Gar-

Moreover, it has some relations,
And this is one that's found, they say,

In South American plantations.

A month (from this not very far)
In the old Jewish Calendar.

5.

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THE LICENSED VICTUALLERS' TEA TRADE.

The fiend, who was set to twist cables of sand, SCENB:—The exterior of the Chequers." Enter Mrs. BOUNCBR from door C,

He failed in making a rope therewithwiping her lips.

He probably had not the dexterous hand

That graces our OwEN MEREDITH.
Mrs. B.:-“'ORRID FORGETFUL THAT MR. Potts 18 ! I ORDBRED A POUND O' Though how out of Sand he wove his story,
TEA THIS MORNIN', AND I'VE POSITIVBLY 'AD TO CALL FIVE TIMES TO REMIND 'IM

Is something that scarcely redounds to his glory!
OF IT; AND WHEN 'E did SEND IT, IF IT WASN'T A 'ALF-POUND INSTEAD OF A
POUND-80, YB SEE, I'VB JEBT BTBPT OVER AND CHANGED IT!”

A hide that's dried and scarifiod,

And those who have it wish they'd not it!
NOTES BY AN ELDERLY GENTLEMAN UNBORN.

But when the critic's lash is plied,

Your wretched scribblers wish they'd got it. COMMUNICATED THROUGH A YOUTHFUL ANCESTOR. It is worthy remark, as at least a curious coincidence-whether or not any cause

ANSWER TO ACROSTIO No. 37. may be assigned to such a fact—that three successive Speakers of the House of Commons, including the present functionary, should have been operative shoe

Swag makers. Some crafts, more than others, would seem to possess the fortunate

Prize peculiarity of getting largely represented in the House of Commons; while there

Anan are trades which unaccountably keep aloof from the Legislature of the United

N Nervine Kingdom. Two members of the present Cabinet, three Government supporters,

Impostor R and seven of the Opposition, are bricklayers; but there is not one chimney sweep on

Salvia either side the House. Nor are there any bakers, I believe, in Parliament. On the

Hull other hand, butchers, glass-blowers, tallow-melters, tinmen, bird-catchers, book. SOLUTIONS OP ACROBTIC No. 37. RECEIVED 27TH Nov.:-Kilt; Lo binders, stokers, cokers, brokers, gardeners, firemen, watermen, gasmen, carpet Tengo; Encyclopædia ; Royal Hill: 89th ; Lisa and Beppe; Pluff ; beaters, boot-closers, drivers, and divers others to boot, have seats in the Legislature.

Hampshire to Wit; Ruby; Zubs. Why is this? I have long puzzled my mind, in vain, to account for the discrepancy.

Musical Note. An oyster was caught one day last week, near Colchester. This is the second that has been seen in England, within the space of five or six years; but the other

An eminent authority on musical antiquities assures one was a poor and almost doubtful specimen. I am told that this is a fine, well

| us that he has the best possible reason to believe that

the violin on which TARTINI composed his remarkable grown mollusc, exhibiting much docility and intelligence. It has been sent to the Zoological Gardens, where a glass tank will be speedily prepared for its use,

Rêverie du Diable was the only real and original and two attendants appointed to keep alternate watch by day and night over the

fiddle-de-Dinteresting stranger. Barriers to prevent the crowd teasing this rare and sensitive

A Note with "a bitch" in it. object of public curiosity are already being erected round the space in the middle of which the tank is to stand. For the first week of the extraordinary attraction, an

An actor may be said to resemble a sailor ;-each is increased charge of admission will be made.

distinguished by his particular rôle. The Rev. MRS. BROADBAND, who is spoken of as the new Bishop of Berwick-uponTweed, is the second daughter of a lady I remember to have met at dinner some Vers DE SOCIÉTÉ.-—“The Glass of Fashion.”

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