Page images
PDF
EPUB

m

quaintly

hnried in my

door. It was

it is only BRIGUntil

THE CAT-FIEND.

DOUBLE ACROSTIC. (AN ORIGINAL ADAPTATION).

No. 47. On a bleak evening of December I sat alone in my gloomy chambers

A CREATURE idiotic and brooded over the past. I had sought in vain to turn the current

Has been lately apprehended, of my thoughts by plunging into metaphysical researches: Watts on

Since 'twas thought some aid Quixotie the Mind lay open, bat anbeeded, beside me. Never had the apart

For the Fenians ho intended : ment worn so ghostly an aspect. My lamp threw a fitful gleam upon

P'rhaps, in self-congratulation, the sumptuous, but sombre furniture; the fire was expiring, yet I

He considered in a jiffy lacked energy to put on more coals. If I had been expiring myself I

He should cause a conflagration should have hated the man who put coals upon re.

In the Thames if not the Liffey. The chief object of my memories was a young person to whom I bad

But they set him free iostanter formerly been attached. I dwelt fondly, but bitterly, upon the day

As incapable of treason when my LEONORA, accompanied by her vulgar and introsive mother,

A mero harmless bunkum-ranter had brightened my dingy rooms in 's Inn with her presence to

With some fissures in his reason : tea, previous to visiting Drury Lane Theatre. That was all over now;

For 'tis gon'rally admitted LEONORA married into the city and left ne desolate. I am not even

One whose caput lacks a tile-uam, noquainted with her present name; but it fills me with despondency to

For a prison is less fitted think that her graceful form will never again press the velvet lining of

Than an idiot asylum. my quaintly carved arm-chair. While I sat buried in my sad reflections it seemed as thongh there

1. came a soft rapping at my outer door. It was growing so late that I made my mind up to disregard the summons. “It is only BRIGG8," I.

In Lamboth's bound murmured; “if I admit him he will weary me with platitudes until

It will be found the dawn. Or it is POTTER, perchance, advanced in liquor. I will

And also everywhere : none of him."

Take any day

The shortest way At this point the rapping was renewed more loudly. My resolution anddenly changed, and I resolved that I would explore the mystery.

And you will find it there. Making my way to the door I flung it wide open. The landing was in darkness; no voice gave answer to my challenge, and, foeling a little

If you ask him * Who are you?” nervous, I slammed the door and went back to my arm-chair by

Ho'll answer, « Cook-a-doodle-doo!" the fire.

Weird-ghastly-inscrutable—was the apparition that awaited me! Stretched upon the hearth-rug at my feet lay a large cat of ebon

Rather a sell blackness, glaring at me with a pair of wild eyes in which anger was

To use for a shell mingled with an expression of diabolical sarcasm. The blood curdled

A word from the language of old “THEMISTÓCLES ;" in my veins ; I seized the poker and yelled, “ Get out, beast! How

Surely conchology dare you come in here? Go away directly, or--!”

Owes an apology The lips of the animal opened and pronounced slowly and solemnly

Thus for describing what simply are oockles. the words “ Never no more.

My hair stood on end and the poker fell from my grasp.
“Horrible being!" I oried ;-“ fearful and ungrammatical being,

When my brains full were leave me, and return to darkness and the Stygian shore."

Of novels by BULWER, Never no more !" said the brute : “I've come to stay for ever."

My fancy this tickle “Nonsense, monster; you are insane," I shouted.

Did with its mystical “Fact, I assure you," replied my tormentor ;—"they hadn't got no

Words cabalistical. raven handy, and so they sent me. It's about the LEONORA business."

6. " Ah, that name! Tell me, I implore you, tell me-is she a widow yet? May I hope ? Shall I again behold her ?"

To boot, or to hiss, or to bellow and screech, “ Never no more!”,

Is the commonest way of condemning a speech ; This was too much. I ran and threw the door open again--came

But to open your mouth without saying a word, back-firmly grasped the poker, and

Is the worst condemnation of what you have beard. But the beast had sought refuge under the sofa. Thence it retreated beneath my tatle, and thence under the arm-chair. Round and round

ANSWER TO ACROSTIC No. 45. the apartment I chased it vainly. Its demoniac laugh thrilled me with rage and horror.

J Judaic

Autograph

N Nerissa The cat-fiend still inhabits my gloomy chambers. I have aban

Usurer doned all hope of expelling it. The creature exists without food, so

A Alboni I that the expedient of starvation is impracticable. At all hours of the

R Rout day and night I am haunted by the wild eyes of my hated persecutor: at all hours of the day and night I hear the detested brute murmuring

Y Yesterday with a chuckle that maddens me,

CORRECT SOLUTIONS OF ACROSTIC No. 45, RECEINED JANUARY 22:-Holdfast:

Frank and Maria: Romanelli ; Varney the Y.; Two Clapham Contortionists: H. L.: “ Never no more !"

D.E. H.; E. E.; Lisa and Beppe; Ruby; Shornolitfe; Pluff; A. W. H. Alloa

Betsy H ; Tiny Ditton .
De-port-ment.
TAB Gentleman's Magazine records that a Hamburg merchant, VAN

Sharp Sight. HORN by name, used to frequent the Bull Inn, Bishopagate-street, It has been discovered by the chemists—80 says the Wine Trade where for three and twenty years he every day, with the exception of Review-that wine is frequently spoilt by being bottled in bad glass. two, drank four bottles of port—and began a fifth! He must have An excess of alkali in the manufacture of the glass, renders it liable to been a Van CHAPLIN AND HORNB to carry so much liquor! The the action of the tartaric acid in the wine. What clever fellows editor of the G. M. thus moralises in a note on this capacious HORN. these chemists are:- they can positively see through bad glass.

"It is incredible what pleasure any individual can feel in ench abundant potations in the course of which he resembles more a cellar than a man." It is our private opinion that the landlord of the Bull would have

Light and Fantastic. Faid that Van Horn instead of being a cellar was a buyer, and a good Young ladies will be interested to hear that there is a class of men buyer too. To add to the wonder, this great port-drinker lived to who practice waltzing in the ordinary avocations of daily life. We ninety years of age, so that our HORN was as long-winded as a flourish refer to directors of public companies ; it is hardly possible to take up of trumpets.

a newspaper without reading that some of them "retire by rotation."

[ocr errors]

WHERE is the birch-rod for baby-farming and omnibus nursing ?

THE REAL PHANTOM SAIL.-A moek auction.

[graphic][subsumed][subsumed][merged small]

LITTLE ADDRESSES TO BIG NAMES.

MACAIRE, OTHELLO, HAMLET, OBENREISER— · Be German, Moor, French galley-slave, or Dane; Be all by turns, but heed a good adviser,

And never be a Manager again.
FECHTER, I charge thee, Aling away ambition;

A salary per week, sir, money down,
Is ten times better than the proud position
Of ruling any playhouse in the town.
SMITH is, at present, playing pantomime

Where melodrama once was all the rage;
And one may chant a famous Gallic rhyme
Upon the fall of the Lyceum stage.
Messieurs les étudiants,

Finette a su vous plaire :
Vous aimez le can-can-
A bas ROBERT MACAIRE!

Tour à tour;

C'est la mode du jour.
But as long as I live-
I shall neither forget nor forgive

Your endeavours to mend
The last act of Othello, my friend.

When you come to reflect
On your want, sir, of common respect,

You'll, ot course, have the sense
To be sorry for such an offence.
And now good-day: we've said our say.

Excuse the way in which we've said it.
For friendly views you can't refuse,

At all events, to give us credit.

GREAT WASTE OF EDUCATIONAL LITERATURE!

The Publisher's Circular is said to have just passed into new hands. Can it be the new editor who has signalised his accession to power by the wonderful feats of grammar which we observe in a number just received. “Never " says the gentleman (whoever he may be) “perhaps, at any former period did the customary educational number of the P.C. make its appearance with equal claims to the attention of all.” Why, we ask " at any former period ?” Could that high-spirited journal possibly have taken time so by the forelock as to have already made its appearance at some future period ? And, pondering again on the above marvellous sentence, may we not ask “equal” to what? Ha! we have it now. He does not mean equal to anything. He must mean that at some time or other his journal had equal claims to the attention of everybody; and that, before that, it had only unequal claims to the attention of everybody; or perhaps equal claims to the attention of somebody. But why didn't he tell us before when? "Amongst the thousand diversities of opinion,” he continues, “on almost every public, social or political question there is one on which all parties are agreed.” Can it be possible that there is one diversity of opinion on which all parties are agreed ? “The impetus " he further observes "communicated to all departments of educational literature is yet in its infancy; & future is before it so immense" &c.—An impetus in its infancy is a thing not often heard of; but think of an impetus with a future before it! And then we are told that this “ impetus " (minů, with a future before it) “will call forth all the energies of our publishers, both as men of business and intelligence, to supply.” Is it possible that all this flood of educational literature has been insufficient to teach the fact that the verb “to supply" requires some object? Of course we can guess what the gentleman means! but then how can you supply an impetus with educational books ?

What commercial occupation would best suit the French Consors of the Press 2—Muslin' Printing.

“ILL WEEDS Grow A PACE"-on Baby Farms

[graphic][ocr errors][ocr errors][subsumed]

THE TRUE RELIEVING OFFICER ! DEDICATED WITHOUT PERMISSION TO THE POOR LAW BOARD.

[graphic]

THE SPITEFUL LETTER.

Never mind! utter thy wild common-places ;

Yawp them loudly, shrilly; EVERYBODY has been asking everybody "Who sent the spiteful

Silence with shrill noise the lisps of the foo-foos. letter to ALFRED TENNYBON ?" If anybody did-and nobody doubts

Answer, in precise terms of barbaric vagueness, that it was really somebody-everybody ought to know all about it. | Impelled by such considerations, FUN has addressed a circular to

| The question that the Fun editor huth sparked through Atlantio Cable

| To W** W**TM**n, the speaker of the pass-word primeval; : everybody who is anybody in the round of rhyme, putting the direct | The signaller of the signal of democracy:

question-Was it you, you, or you? Down to the latest moment of The seer and hearer of things in general: | our thinking about making up our minds on the subject of going to the poet translucent: fleshy, disorderly, sensually inclined; i press, the following answers -- which, if they had not been lisped in

Each tag and part of whom is a miracle-

Each ta | numbers, might have been found to be more numerous- had been received :

(Thirteen pages of MS. relating to Mr. W**T W**T**** are here From G***** MED***D.

omitted.)

Rhapsodically state the fact that is and is not;
ONCE I was a llad,

That is not, being past; that is, being eternal;
Oime!
Scribbling verses bad,

If indeed it ever was, which is exactly the point in question.
Oime !

** The fast, rhapsodically stated, oceupies twenty-six more pages Grand, majestic, splendid

of Ms., but is left in as much doubt at the end as it was in at the Seemed whate'er I then did.

beginning. -Ed. Fun.
Ome! Oime!
Soon I grew up tall;

FROM OUR STALL.
Oimè

Tre revival of Used Up at the Olympic has given us a chance of
Strong as castle-wall;
Oime!

seeing CHARLES MATHEWS (hang it, we cannot call him Mister) Clad with ivy meekness,

play again in one of his best parts. Twenty-four years ago he first Then I learnt my weakness.

played Sir Charles Coldstream at the Haymarket; on that occasion he

was, perhaps, five years younger than at present certainly not more. Dime! Oime!

The piece is not altogether a legitimate one; the first act is high Shall I sink again

comedy, and the second is broad farce. Mr. MATHEWS (hang it, we Dime!!

don't know him well enough to call him CHARLES !) is perfection in the Into boyhood vais

first; in the second he is not sufficiently a ploughboy. He may tell us Oime !

that an opulent and blasé baronet would scarcely play such a character Shall I grudge another

to the life; but we shall tell him that the aforesaid baronet would Due of elder brother P

hardly assume that particular character as a disguise without a pretty Oime ! Oime!

correct notion of its necessities. MATHEWS (hang it, we cannot call him either Mister or CHARLES !) is tob well-spoken a gentleman for

farm labourer. We ought, perhaps, to have made this objection when From POBT Ou***

the piece was first played; but at that remote period we were cutting A NOTR from you, sir, under Tuesday's dato,

our teeth, and neither pot-hooks nor hangers were known to us. The Refers to what have been in circulation;

principal figure in Used Up is well supported by MR. VINCENT as IronConcerning which, I feel it due to state,

brace, and Mr. R. SOUTAR as Sir Adonis Leech. Miss E. FARREN The rumour is without the least Foundation.

plays Mary very prettily, and Mrs. St. HENRY is an overwhelming

Lady Clutterbuck.
A Spiteful Letter, by some Ohap or Chaps,

At the Queen's, a burlesque on La Figlia del Reggimento, by Mr. W.
Was wrote to One, in envy of his pelf-

S. GILBERT, has achieved a complete success. Its couplets are written A Poet Laureate, than whom, perhaps,

with peculiar smartness, its characters are well sustained, and its None more so in the World, except myself.

dresses and scenery leave nothing to be desired. MR. GILBERT has run The Muse, just now, finds business very bad

riot with DONIZETTI'S libretto, and introduced a nondescript individual

into the plot who resembles the Count Rodolpho in MR. BYRON'S And Wealth, alas ! forsakes your Poet's coffer.

burlesque of La Sonnambula ; not to mention a party of British tourists A small amount would make his Bosom glad

who are behaving themselves as British tourists usually do behave Most welcome will be anything you offer.

themselves when abroad. The burlesque is briskly played by MBBSRS.

Tools and BROUGH, and M18BE8 FANNY ADDISON, MARKHAM, and FROM A******* S********

HENRIETTA HODson. Although the entertainments at this house last

until a late hour, a large proportion of the audience waited in order to Sick of the perfume of praise, and faint with the fervid caresses,

summon Mr. GILBERT and the leading actors of his burlesque before Flushing his face with a flame that is fair, like the blood on a dove;

thie curtain on the first night of its performance. We cannot close our Weary of pangs that have pleased him, the poet refrains and confesses

tiny notice of this trifle without a special word of praise for MR. BROUGH'S Shrinks from the rapture of death, and the lips and the languors

comic dancing; his acting is funny enough, but his dancing ib: of love;

absolutely delicious.
The rootless rose of delight, and the love that lasts only to blossom,
Blossom and die without fruit, as the kisses that feed and not fill;
Famishing pleasure, dry-lipped, with the sting and the stain on her

Important Turf Note. bosom,

| For the benefit of our sporting readers we beg to announce that we And all of a sin that is good, and all of a good that is ill!

are in treaty with PROFESSOR TAYLOR for an analysis of the Two (This explicit language of MR. S*******E's will, we are sure, be Thousand Guineas, Derby, and important Spring Handicap. At the satisfactory to all our readers. No explanation could make his reply earliest possible moment we shall place before our readers the results clearer and more readily intelligible.-Ed. Fun.)

of the learned Professor's researches-certainly not later than June

next. From W*** W* *T***N.

General Intelligence. (An American, one of the roughs, a kosmos.) Nature, continuous ME!

THB Hon. Member for Peterborough, MR. WHALLEY, enjoys his Saltness, and vigorous, never-torpid yeast of Me!

usual good health, and will take his accustomed place on the assembling Florid, unceasing, for ever expansive;

of Parliament. Not schooled, not dizened, not washed and powdered ;

A specimen of the Singsing has been added to the collection of Strait-laced not at all ; far otherwise than polite;

the Royal Zoological Society, Regent's-park.
Not modest, nor immodest;
Divinely tanned and freckled ; gloriously unkempt;
Ultimate yet unceasing ; capricious though determined ;

Let Burgoynes be Burgoynes. Speak as thou listest, and tell the askers that which they seek to Now that the veteran, Sir John, has received a tardy recognition of know.

his seventy years of servive, we hope never again to hear-exoept as a Thy speech to them will be not quite intelligible.

| high compliment of anyone playing the "old soldier."

« PreviousContinue »