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MY NATIVE COT.*
Have wandered o'er land-
You'll all understand,
Oh! not one of the many
Fair lands where I've been
Thing like this dear scene:
Yes; yonder's the village,
And there is the glade (It is now under tillage)
In which I have played : And yonder's the spire, it's not altered a jot, Yet, stay! Where, oh, where is my own native cot 2
Its garden is thistles!
And there where it rose,
The luggage train goes :
O'er my cheek there is creeping,
All silent, a tear-
For scenes once so dear!
OUR LIBRARY TABLE. Those who take an interest in caricature and humorous art, will find much to amuse or, at all events, to employ them in the collection of SEYMOCR's Comic Sketches published by MR. HOTTEN. SEYMOUR was one of our early comic draughtsmen, and his proposed series of pictures representing the doings of an absurd club was the peg on which the immortal Pickwick Papers hung originally. The style of the collection under notice is different from that we are accustomed to nowadays in many respects, and we are hardly inclined to think it superior or even equal to it. The drawing is humorous, but the jokes are sometimes dull, and occasionally vulgar. The book is well printed and got up. The preface contains some inaccuracies, amongst which we may point out a passage which states that SEYMOUR illustrated Hood's Comic Annual for 1836, and his Comic Almanacks, of which latter we never heard before.
Messrs. ROUTLEDGE have published a neat collection of The Poems of the late N. P. Willis. Good type and paper and a nice cover make it a presentable volume, and one that should be popular, for WILLIS had the true poetic instinctSome of his Scripture stories are very fine. The same enterprising firm issue also a Ready Reckoner, a very handy and useful Topographical Directory, and a Practical Housekeeper, besides a very charming little Child's Country Book, with capital coloured illustrations, a most suitable gift-book. The cheap edition of LORD KNEBWORTH's novels completes the list. If the firm continues to be as prolific as this, we shall have to invent a new adverb, and say the seeds of the tree of knowledge are sown “Broadway" instead of “ broadcast."
“Putting the Cart before the Horse.” We bave just come upon a notice of the Professors' Soirée at University College, appearing in the papers last month. It invites to that festive gathering “Old Students of the College, who, in consequence of their addresses not being known, may not have received carts of invitation.” We are curious to know what was to be conveyed by the vehicles mentioned. Was the last line of the programme, "carts may be ordered at half-past eleven ?" We congratulate the professors on this display of their cart-and-horse-pitality
A Difficult Operation. An operation far more difficult than the removal of the shoulderblade has recently been performed in the North-or is about to be performed there, and the only notice given to the faculty is to be found in the advertisement inserted by an auctioneer in the Leeds Mercury :
Mr. has instructions to remove A CELLAR of about 127 dozens of WINES from a gentleman in the neighbour
1 hood, and will duly advertise particulars when sale will take place. We have much pleasure in calling the attention of the (risible) faculty to this interesting case.
" Their " You are Again! WHAT in the (Christian World is the editor of that journal about to make the glaring error to be found in his notice which runs as follows:
“The Editor of the Christian World ventures to ask a special personal favour of every reader of this journal-namely, that each one will purchase and examine the first number of Happy Hours,' and show it to their friends.” Surely he must have been “ dreaming the ‘Happy Hours' away," as the poet says, when he asked "one" to show something to “their”, friends.
VERSES ADDRESSED TO A “CERTAIN
To scenes of the times that are past;
And thought our affection would last.
Fanned away those sweet visions, and we
Are friends, and firm friends let us be!
And take fancies up for a while,
They look back upon with a smile.
Our loves may have found their “last ends,"
O why should we never be friends!
Looked as though we should ne'er speak again!
Okolske, Timbuctoo, or Dumblane:
The mountains the desert—the sea,
That was, but is not,-meaning me!
“ My darling," “ my own," and all that!
Or I shouldn't have been such a flat! 'Tis true that I loved you sincerely,
But, alas! you see, what could I do,
And I'd no one to love, dear, but you !
I declare now, to pop out your name!
'Tis however exactly the same.
As “ ror et preterea nil."
And let us be “bons amis" still !
A Question for the Heralds' College. We see it mentioned in the Lady's Own Paper, that slippers may be purchased worked with the Royal Arms. There is a fitness in all things, and heraldic blazons were hardly meant for such a purpose. At any rate, private individuals have no right to the coat armour of Majesty. Those who have the Royal Arms on a slipper, must not be surprised if they put their foot in it.
Seasonable Advice. We recommend our young friends who are anxious to begin the croquet season to wait a little longer. To venture on lawns in the present weather would be to commence an unpleasantly « croaky" season.
MOTTO FOR BILLIARD PLAYERS. —"To the Rest-cue!”
• It was stated in a literary journal the other day that the present age could produce no poets because all the themes of poetry had been exhausted. I rather flatter myself I have struck out a new line.-N.C.P.
ing their ideas. He is a man whom you can't possibly insult—if yol MEN WE MEET.
could, he would have ceased to haunt studios ages ago. He rummage
among your life studies, brushes his BY THE COMIC PHYSIOGNOMIST.
coat over your colours, expectorates over
your parquet flooring, chaffs your models, CONCERNING SOME Bores.
criticises your work in a strain of
offensive candour, pokes at you, aster
the discovery of a neat and epigram leaving you to defend yourself with your
| are good-natured in their way), and the philosopher
undertake their exposition. A peculiarity of this Notwithstanding that the impossibility of framing an unimpeachable shallow-pated nuisance is, that in the course of his epigrammatic definition is fully before his eyes, yet, being this morn arguments he contrives to convert and pervert himing in a rather reckless mood, and being in the habit of purposely self over and over again. He will start with a proallowing himself to be influenced by the mood in which he finds him position, and talk it over in his slip-slop way until self when he writes these papers, he goes the following cropper :
he convinces himself that his original view was Bores are of four kinds :
utterly wrong, and goes on to defend his new con1. Those who neither amuse nor instruct.
til he ends by returning to the opinion 2. Those who amuse without instructing.
with which he started. He is a literary critic in 3. Those who instruct without amusing.
his way; that is to say, he reads the reviews on 4. Those who profess to combine amusement with instruction. new books, and expresses, as his own, the opinions
It will be objected that these four classes comprehend every intel. he derives from them — although he was never lectual and unintellectual variety of the human race, and that the known to read a book through in his life. He inference that the C. P. wishes his readers to draw is, that All Men has ready-made views on every subject you are Bores. But this is not so. A careful analysis of the four different like to start, and don't hesitate to express heads under which the philosopher has classified the genus Bore, will them, as though they were the result of the satisfy the discriminating reader that one very important class has study of a lifetime. He has a profound conbeen excluded—those who unintentionally combine instruction with tempt for everything that is amusing, and an amusement. The C. P. will not enter at greater length into the equally profound admiration for everything that matter, for fear that his definitions should, on closer inspection, meet is solidly dull. the fate of all other definitions, and prove to be utterly untenable. Here are two very opposite forms of Bores. The one on the left is Ho throws them out
a statistican, with a devout belief in per-centages, and an utter confor the consideration
tempt for units. He is always on the look-out to nail somebody who of his disciples, to be
will weakly listen to him and when he has got taken for what they
him, he will pour into his unhappy victim's ear such are worth.
a tirade of decimals as will have the effect of conHere is a specimen
vincing him of the truth of any proposition his of a loafing Bore who
tormentor chooses to is to be met in great
start. It is impossible force about this time,
to beat him in arguin the studios of in
ment—he has figures tending Royal Aca
for everything in his demy exhibitors. He
red, shining, knobby has no ostensible oc
skull — you might as cupation of his own,
well attempt to punch and the object of his
the head of a knight in life appears to be to
complete armour. The interfere with every
other, on the right, is body who has. He
one of those amiable talks very loudly
young fools who haunt about matters that
stage-doors and theatri. he don't understand,
cal taverns, and who and expresses a great
are the pride and glory contempt for the
of small actors, and the technical expressions B
unspeakable pest of in which artists are a
2 great ones. He is very in the habit of cloth. S
7 harmless in his way, Bab
FREE EXHIBITIONS OF LONDON:-BOW STREET. ing the torso of a dirty HERCULES through the rents of a shirt so tat.
This interesting place of entertainment is situated in the immediate tered that it is a wonder it holds together at all. He has been induced
| horse by its forelegs and set its hoofs on his shoulders (a fact)! Like
sells apples, having fallen out with Miss FLORA O'RAPFERTY, who
vends flowers, has flown at that lady, torn her bonnet, and aspersed
should “prove her words"—meaning, of course (the lady is Irish),
O'F. is discursive and aggressive, and the dialogue would (if it passed
The visitor to Bow-street Court may study science as well as
on account of the peculiar readiness with which they are convertible
The highly respectable female in the dock has swallowed two flat-irons
-in a liquid form—the said flat-irons unfortunately belonging to a
known costumier, whose shop is hard by. The mise en scène is simple,
that he is not a polico magistrate.
NOTICE.—Now ready, the Eleventh Half-Yearly Volume of FUN, being
THE FOURTH VOLUME OF THE NEW SERIES.
London : Printed by JUDD & GLASS, Phønix Works, St. Andrew's Hill, Doctors' Commons, and Published (for the Proprietor) by W. ALDER, at 80, Fleet-street, E.C.
March 23, 1867.
DERBY the Earl would make a peer;
Joining the two would be rather queer ;
Little would yet be changed, I think,
And the comic voice, and the playful wink!
What, the title was clear in view,
Seemed to imply the news was true;-
For the pottery town of Stoke-on-Trent,
You turned aside from the offer sent ?
When, BERESFORD Hope, what use, they will say,
And will get into CAVENDISH Bentisch's way?
If a coronet still awaits your head, .
In the new House come in the old one's stead!
“BEDGEBURY" isn't a pretty name,
From the Saturday's lips of love it came!
Little of labour and much of state,
Dozes away through a dull debate.
So many days been abused in the Times-
Chaffod so often in Cockney rhymes ;-—-
That you still refuse, Sir, puzzles me :-
What on earth do you want to be ?
THE BILL NO ONE WILL HONOUR.-A sham Reform Bill.
FROM OUR STALL.
MR. AND MRS. GERMAN Reed have produced a new entertainment
by MR. ROBERTSON, entitled a Dream in Venice. The Dream itself is MORE mines and miners! MR. Watts Phillips's Lost in London good, but the introduction is a little tedious, as must always be the drags us again into the bowels of the earth on an expedition in search
case where the author has at any cost to provide “character illustraof the picturesque. However, the drama was manufactured so long tions" for the performers. It appears to be a sine qua non at the Gallery ago-as the announcements took very good care to tell us—that no of Illustration that all entertainments should open with MR. and body can accuse MR. PHILLIPS of putting forward a second-hand MRS. German Reed travelling in search of novelty; and Mr. ROBERTsensation. The greatest fault of this piece (and of most pieces nowa BON has adhered to the harmless fiction, turning it, indeed, to good days) lies in the comparative weakness of the last act. The situation
account in the nightmare (or night-gondola, or whatever the equivalent at the close of the preceding one is highly effective, and the remainder
may be in a city where there is nothing equine) under which MR. REED of the play comes as an anti-climax. There is a heroine to be disposed la'sours. The scenery is really magnificent. 'MR. O'Connor, of the of, and there is a low-comedy couple to be married. Of course, the Haymarket, has seldom been seen to better advantage, while MR. heroine dies, according to the infallible remedy prescribed by DR. Tellin, perhaps, surpasses all his former successes with a view of the GOLDSMITH for cases in which lovely woman stoops to folly. She Piazza of Saint Mark. John PARRY, inimitable Joux PABRY, winds might as well have died at the end of the second act; in the second up the treat with The Wedding Breakfast at Mrs. Roseleaf's-one of act, also, the low-comedy people might easily have been made man and those things of which we can never tire. wife. What the drama requires-or did require on the night of its production—is a good deal of judicious carving with a large knife and fork. The writing of Lost in London is full of cleverness; Mr. Watts
6 The Times are out of Joint." PHILLIPS never disappoints us in the quality of his dialogue. Here THERE's no accounting for tastes! A young lady, in particular, and there, perhaps, the slightest possible tendency towards clap-trap must be permitted to have odd fancies. Here's an instance :may be discovered; but, after all, the folks in the gallery pay their shil. A YOUNG LADY is desirous of an ENGAGEMENT as Book-keeper in a butcher's lings, and most of the miserable critics are on the free list. The piece is a business.-Apply by letter, etc. well acted, especially in the parts given to MR. HENRY NEVILLE, DIR. We must own that it rather takes our breath a way to read this. “A TOOLE, and MRS. MELLON. MR. ASHLEY shall be included if he will | YOUNG LADY" quite so, bless her—" is desirous of an ENGAGEMENT"only promise to leave off singing, and playing on the pianoforte. To exactly, and matrimonial, of course—but no! an engagement as bookbetray & confiding woman is wicked enough, in all conscience; to keeper to a butcher. We should as soon expect to hear of a duchess make her listen to your songs (if you happen to sing like—some people) wanting to turn dairymaid, or of a countess who would be a cheeseis to add insult to injury. The drama has been well put on the stage; monger. A butcher's business is not exactly a pleasant employment in fact, the scenery surpasses anything that we have seen at the Adelphi for a refined and delicate mind, and we cannot conceive the reason for lately. This may look like extravagant praise to people who never such a choice; unless, indeed, the young lady was on the look out for a visit the Adelphi.
I joint, sure.