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AN UNOHANGEABLE SPIRIT.
I'd name each constellation too, and what its true condition is,-
Which planet's disagreeable and now in “opposition" is;
I'd like to write an ode on (N)odes (in science verse an aider is),
And analyse the Zenith, and inform you what the Nadir is.
Of "Southing" and of “Solstices” I'd speak in manner cursory,
And touch on both the Ursas in a style to suit a (n) Ursa.ry;
I'd treat of flying Pegasus, a sort of starry merry "gee,
Yea various star phenomena I willingly would mention too, -
They're matters which an Almanac like Fun's should give attention to;
But, lo! our Editor remarks he cannot see the wit of it,
And adds, “he'd take it on if I but understood a bit of it!"
During the first week of October common
etc. ; after this family jars frequently take place.
The twilight of October is well adapted for
dark nor too light.
On vice full ripe and reason rotten, of assassins paid with gold.
Why is this departing individual obviously a perfect gentleman, in spite of his not having paid his bill :- Why, because he is “ doing the Grand," of course !
NOVEMBER AND DECEMBER.
Slugs and snails are very active in November -so are burglars-catch them if you can and destroy them. The rum punch season is usually in good working order at this period of the year, and mayors swear a good deal in the early part of November. About this time croup flourishes freely ; be sure, on getting up in the night, to give your ailing child physic out of the right bottle. Kid reviver, for instance, does not cure croup. The fact of Sagittarius being the sign of November, is no reason for young people drawing the long bow during this month.
Make merry and give alms in December ; if you happen to be a chairman of quarter sessions, have the mendicant who has solicited your charity charged before you, and after he is found guilty sentence him to a year's hard labour and twenty-four strokes with a birch rod, as Mr. Hardman did recently, it will enable you to enjoy your Christmas dinner thoroughly. During this month bargains are
to be picked up, and as no woman ever was All for myself
, and hang the rest. With satire arrows sharp and known to throw away a chance of a bargain, On milk of goats kids may be fed; but give old men good ale rough
and wine, I'd sacrifice my humblest guest to vent my spleen in accents you may expect cartloads of patent mouse-traps, Both sparkling white and rosy red. Gee up, old Bill, I want gruff.
vent-pegs, and toasting-forks, brought home. to dine.
1. To avoid intruders, why not revert to the primitive idea of the river villages ! 2. Or, perhaps, an “Army” circular hung in the hall might be effective. 3. Something might be done with a dummy and some luminous paint. 4. Brown, however, is always well protected-he keeps a pretty cook. 5. See above. 6. Quiverful takes care of his "hostages." 7. How would a few torpedo-crackers answer? 8. Or a judicious arrangement of lawn tennis net and scrapers ? 9. The aesthetic one sleeps calmly; the bull's-eyes in the window scare them.
It may be stated
Or elevated ;
Is wild and dazey
I am not crazy.
Before my vision.
In this my “digging,”
That isn't jigging !
And all its stations
That latest “wrinkle,"
That madly twinkle !
With heart a-sinking
And watch them winking ;
Is simply fated
That blinding futter
And Binks's Butter;
Ere time abolish
Of Pogson's Polish.
This endless throbbing ;
The butter's bobbing,
The fire is winking,
I'll take to drinking!
AL by its
PIL HE PLI qu: ор TIS IS.
ShE.- Why, whatever are you talking of?”. HE.—“ You want us to be partners at lawn tennis—I want us to be partners for life!" ShE.-"Oh 1-Charlie !"
(But she didn't hurry off to the game, though.
VALEDICTORY, FARE you well ! old Eighty-Two, But ere away you feebly stalk,
Bid him cherish and defend It seems we now must part with you; Teach the Yearlet how to walk. Every loved one, every friend;
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