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Miniver Cheevy

MINIVER CHEEVY

MINIVER CHEEVY, child of scorn,

Grew lean while he assailed the seasons;

He wept that he was ever born,

And he had reasons.

Miniver loved the days of old

When swords were bright and steeds were prancing; The vision of a warrior bold

Would set him dancing.

Miniver sighed for what was not,

And dreamed and rested from his labors; He dreamed of Thebes and Camelot

And Priam's neighbors.

Miniver mourned the ripe renown

That made so many a name so fragrant; He mourned Romance, now on the town, And Art, a vagrant.

Miniver loved the Medici,

Albeit he had never seen one; He would have sinned incessantly Could he have been one.

Miniver cursed the commonplace,

And eyed a khaki suit with loathing; He missed the mediæval grace

Of iron clothing.

Miniver scorned the gold he sought,
But sore annoyed he was without it;
Miniver thought and thought and thought
And thought about it.

Miniver Cheevy, born too late,

Scratched his head and kept on thinking; Miniver coughed, and called it fate,

And kept on drinking.

Edwin Arlington Robinson.

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Wan-two!

Wan-two!

Ye monkey-faced divil, I'll jolly ye through!

Wan-two!

Time! Mark!

Ye march like the aigle in Cintheral Parrk!"

Sez Corporal Madden to Private McFadden:
"A saint it ud sadden

To dhrill such a mug!

Eyes front!-ye baboon, ye!

Chin up!-ye gossoon, ye!

Ye've jaws like a goat

Halt! ye leather-lipped loon, ye!
Wan-two!

Wan-two!

Ye whiskered orang-outang, I'll fix you!

Wan-two!

Time!

Mark!

Ye've eyes like a bat!-can ye see in the dark?"

Sez Corporal Madden to Private McFadden:
"Yer figger wants padd'n'—
Sure, man, ye've no shape!
Behind ye yer shoulders
Stick out like two boulders;

The Recruit

231

Yer shins is as thin

As a pair of pen-holders!

Wan-two!

Wan-two!

Yer belly belongs on yer back, ye Jew!

Wan-two!

Time! Mark!

I'm dhry as a dog-I can't shpake but I bark!"

Sez Corporal Madden to Private McFadden:

"Me heart it ud gladden
To blacken your eye.

Ye're gettin' too bold, ye
Compel me to scold ye,-
"Tis halt! that I say,—

Will ye heed what I told ye?

Wan-two!

Wan-two!

Be jabers, I'm dhryer than Brian Boru!

Wan-two!

Time!

Mark!

What's wur-ruk for chickens is sport for the lark!"

Sez Corporal Madden to Private McFadden :

"I'll not stay a gaddin',

Wid dagoes like you!
I'll travel no farther,
I'm dyin' for-wather;-

Come on, if ye like,

Can ye loan me a quather?

Ya-as, you-
What,-two?

And ye'll pay the potheen? Ye're a daisy! Whurroo!

You'll do!

Whist! Mark!

The Rigiment's flattered to own ye, me spark!"

Robert W. Chambers.

OFFICER BRADY

THE MODERN RECRUIT

I

SEZ Alderman Grady
To Officer Brady:
"G'wan! Ye're no lady!

Luk here what ye've done:
Ye've run in Red Hogan,
Ye've pulled Paddy Grogan,
Ye've fanned Misther Brogan
An' called him a 'gun'!

"Way up in Tammany Hall They's a gintleman layin' f'r ou!

'An' what,' sez he, 't' 'ell,' sez he, 'Does the villyun mane to do?

Lock up the ass in his shtall!

He'll rue the day I rue,

F'r he's pulled the dive that kapes me alive, An' he'll go to the goats! Whurroo!""

II

Sez Alderman Grady

To Officer Brady:

"Ye pinched young Mullady

F'r crackin' a safe!

An' Sinitor Moran
An' Alderman Doran

Is inside, a-roarin'

F'r justice, ye thafe!

"'Way up in Tammany Hall

They's a gintleman layin' f'r you! 'What's this,' sez he, 'I hear?' sez heAn' the air, bedad, grew blue!

Officer Brady

'Well, I nivver did hear av such gall!

But if phwat ye say is thrue,

He's pulled a fri'nd av a fri'nd av me fri'nd,
An' he'll go to the goats! Whurroo!"

III

Sez Alderman Grady
To Officer Brady:
"Here's Sullivan's lady
Cavoortin' an' riled;

She lifted a locket

From Casey's coat pocket,
An' it goes to the docket,
An' Sullivan's wild!

233

""Way up in Tammany Hall

They's a gintleman layin' f'r you!

"Tis a shame,' sez he, 'f'r to blame,' sez he, 'A lady so fair an' thrue,

An' so divinely tall'

'Tis po'ms he talked, ye Jew!

An' ye've cooked yer goose, an' now ye're loose
F'r to folly the goats! Whurroo!"

IV

Sez Alderman Grady

To Officer Brady:

"Where's Katie Macready,

The Confidence Queen?

She's niece to O'Lafferty's
Cousins, the Caffertys-
Sinitor Rafferty's

Steady colleen!

""Way up in Tammany Hall

They's a gintleman layin' f'r you!

'He's pinched,' sez he, 'an' cinched,' sez he, 'A lady tray comme eel foo!

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