Misadventures at Margate 559. He frown'd, that little vulgar Boy-he deem'd I meant to scoff: And when the little heart is big, a little "sets it off"; He had no little handkerchief to wipe his little nose! "Hark! don't you hear, my little man?—it's striking nine,” I said, "An hour when all good little boys and girls should be in bed. Run home and get your supper, else your Ma' will scold-Oh! fie! It's very wrong indeed for little boys to stand and cry!" The tear-drop in his little eye again began to spring, I haven't got no supper! and I haven't got no Ma'!!— "My father, he is on the seas,-my mother's dead and gone! And I am here, on this here pier, to roam the world alone; I have not had, this live-long day, one drop to cheer my heart, Nor brown' to buy a bit of bread with,-let alone a tart. "If there's a soul will give me food, or find me in employ, By day or night, then blow me tight!" (he was a vulgar Boy); "And now I'm here, from this here pier it is my fixed intent To jump, as Mr. Levi did from off the Monu-ment! "Cheer up! cheer up! my little man-cheer up!" I kindly said. You are a naughty boy to take such things into your head: If you should jump from off the pier, you'd surely break your legs, Perhaps your neck-then Bogey'd have you, sure as eggs are eggs! "Come home with me, my little man, come home with me and sup; My landlady is Mrs. Jones-we must not keep her up There's roast potatoes on the fire,-enough for me and youCome home, you little vulgar Boy-I lodge at Number 2." I took him home to Number 2, the house beside "The Foy," I bade him wipe his dirty shoes,-that little vulgar Boy,And then I said to Mistress Jones, the kindest of her sex, 66 Pray be so good as go and fetch a pint of double X!" But Mrs. Jones was rather cross, she made a little noise, She said she "did not like to wait on little vulgar Boys." She with her apron wiped the plates, and, as she rubb'd the delf, Said I might "go to Jericho, and fetch my beer myself!" I did not go to Jericho I went to Mr. Cobb I changed a shilling-(which in town the people call "a Bob") It was not so much for myself as for that vulgar childAnd I said, "A pint of double X, and please to draw it mild!" When I came back I gazed about-I gazed on stool and chair I could not see my little friend-because he was not there! I could not see my table-spoons-I look'd, but could not see I know 'twas on the mantle-piece when I went out for beer. I could not see my Mackintosh!-it was not to be seen! Nor yet my best white beaver hat, broad-brimm'd and lined with green; My carpet-bag-my cruet-stand, that holds my sauce and soy, My roast potatoes!-all are gone!-and so's that vulgar Boy! Misadventures at Margate 561 I rang the bell for Mrs. Jones, for she was down below, "Oh, Mrs. Jones! what do you think?-ain't this a pretty go? -That horrid little vulgar Boy whom I brought here to night, -He's stolen my things and run away!!"-Says she, "And sarve you right!!" Next morning I was up betimes-I sent the Crier round, I went to "Jarvis' Landing-place," the glory of the town, That sailor-man, he said he'd seen that morning on the shore, A son of-something-'twas a name I'd never heard before, A little "gallows-looking chap"-dear me; what could he mean? With a "carpet-swab " and "muckingtogs," and a hat turned up with green. He spoke about his "precious eyes," and said he'd seen him "sheer," -It's very odd that sailor-men should talk so very queerAnd then he hitch'd his trowsers up, as is, I'm told, their use, -It's very odd that sailor-men should wear those things so loose. I did not understand him well, but think he meant to say He'd seen that little vulgar Boy, that morning swim away In Captain Large's Royal George about an hour before, And they were now, as he supposed, "somewheres" about the Nore. A landsman said, "I twig the chap-he's been upon the Mill— And 'cause he gammons so the flats, ve calls him Veeping Bill!" Ile said "he'd done me wery brown," and "nicely stow'd the swag." -That's French, I fancy, for a hat-or else a carpet-bag. I went and told the constable my property to track; Not knowing what to do, I thought I'd hasten back to town, And beg our own Lord Mayor to catch the Boy who'd "done me brown." His Lordship very kindly said he'd try and find him out, But he "rather thought that there were several vulgar boys about." He sent for Mr. Whithair then, and I described "the swag," My Mackintosh, my sugar-tongs, my spoons, and carpet-bag; He promised that the New Police should all their powers employ; But never to this hour have I beheld that vulgar Boy! MORAL Remember, then, what when a boy I've heard my Grandma' tell, "BE WARN'D IN TIME BY OTHERS' HARM, AND YOU SHALL DO FULL WELL!" Don't link yourself with vulgar folks, who've got no fix'd abode, Tell lies, use naughty words, and say they "wish they may be blow'd!" The Gouty Merchant and the Stranger 563 Don't take too much of double X!-and don't at night go out To fetch your beer yourself, but make the pot-boy bring your stout! And when you go to Margate next, just stop and ring the bell, Give my respects to Mrs. Jones, and say I'm pretty well! Richard Harris Barham. THE GOUTY MERCHANT AND THE STRANGER IN Broad Street Buildings on a winter night, While t'other held beneath his nose The Public Ledger, in whose columns grubbing, Gum, galls, and groceries; ginger, gin, Tar, tallow, turmeric, turpentine, and tin; When lo! a decent personage in black Entered and most politely said: "Your footman, sir, has gone his nightly track To the King's Head, And left your door ajar; which I Observed in passing by, And thought it neighborly to give you notice." "Ten thousand thanks; how very few get, In time of danger, Such kind attentions from a stranger! He knows, too (the unconscionable elf!), He knows that rogues and thieves by scores And see, how easily might one Of these domestic foes, Even beneath your very nose, |