De win' can blow lak' hurricane, William Henry Drummond. Of finding out, though "lying low," They greased the lead before it fell, A skipper gray, whose eyes were dim, Snug in his bern, at eight o'clock, The watch on deck would now and then One night, 'twas Jotham Marden's watch, The Elderly Gentleman "We're all a set of stupid fools To think the skipper knows by tasting What ground he's on-Nantucket schools Don't teach such stuff, with all their basting!" And so he took the well-greased lead "Where are we now, sir? Please to taste." The skipper stormed and tore his hair, 665 James Thomas Fields. THE ELDERLY GENTLEMAN By the side of murmuring stream an elderly gentleman sat. On the top of his head was a wig, and a-top of his wig was his hat. The wind it blew high and blew strong, as the elderly gentleman sat; And bore from his head in a trice, and plunged in the river his hat. The gentleman then took his cane which lay by his side as he sat; And he dropped in the river his wig, in attempting to get out his hat. . His breast it grew cold with despair, and full in his eye madness sat; So he flung in the river his cane to swim with his wig, and his hat. Cool reflection at last came across while this elderly gentle man sat; So he thought he would follow the stream and look for his cane, wig, and hat. His head being thicker than common, o'er-balanced the rest of his fat; And in plumped this son of a woman to follow his wig, cane, and hat. George Canning. SAYING NOT MEANING Two gentlemen their appetite had fed, "Grow!" cried the other, "yes, they grow, indeed, Or in the Strand!" "Why, sir," returned the irritated other, When at Calcutta He wouldn't utter A lie for love or money, sir; so in This matter you are thoroughly mistaken." Your brother, like his evidence, should be shaken." "Be shaken, sir! let me observe, you are "Sir," said the other, sucking his cigar, "If you will say impossibles are true, You may affirm just anything you please- Saying not Meaning Only you must not force me to believe "Then you force me to say, sir, you're a fool," Return'd the bragger. Language like this no man can suffer cool: It made the listener stagger; So, thunder-stricken, he at once replied, "The traveler lied Who had the impudence to tell it you;" "Zounds! then d'ye mean to swear before my face That anchovies don't grow like cloves and mace?” "I do!" Disputants often after hot debates Leave the contention as they found it-bone, Thinking by strength of artery to atone With pistols, powder, bullets, surgeons, lint, Seconds, and smelling-bottles, and foreboding, 667 When each opines himself, though frighten'd, right, And they did fight: from six full measured paces Ran up, and with a duelistic fear (His ire evanishing like morning vapors), Found him possess'd of one remaining ear, Who in a manner sudden and uncouth, Had given, not lent, the other ear to truth; William Basil Wake. HANS BREITMANN'S PARTY HANS BREITMANN gife a barty; I felled in lofe mit a Merican frau, Und ven dey looket indo mine, Hans Breitmann gife a barty: Und vent shpinnen round und round. Hans Breitmann gife a barty: Und venefer dey knocks de shpicket in De Deutschers gifes a cheer. I dinks dat so vine a barty Nefer coom to a het dis year. Hans Breitmann gife a barty: Und vash der Abendessen down Mit four parrels of Neckarwein. |