An hourly glass with him was play,
He'd swallow that with phlegm;
Judge what he'd M T in a day,
"X PD Herculem."
Of virtue none to sots, I trow,
With F EK C prate;
And 0 of N R G could now
From A B M N 8.
Who on strong liquor badly dote,
Soon poverty must know;
Thus A B in a CD coat
Was shortly forced to go.
From poverty D C T he caught,
And cheated not A FU,
For what he purchased paying 0,
Or but an "I O U."
So lost did I 6 now A P R,
That said his wife, said she,
"F U act so, your fate quite clear Is for 1 2 4 C."
His inside soon was out and out
More fiery than K N;
And while his state was thereabout
A cough CVR came.
He IP KQ NA tried,
And linseed T and rue;
But 0 could save him, so he died
As every 1 must 2.
Poor wight! till black in' the face he raved,
'Twas P T S 2 C
His latest spirit "spirit" craved-
His last words, “O D V."
I'll not SA to preach and prate,
But tell U if U do
Drink O D V at such R 8,
Death will 4 stall U 2.
OU then who A Y Z have,
Shun O D V as a wraith,
For 'tis a bonus to the grave,
An S A unto death.
A MAN of words and not of deeds,
Is like a garden full of weeds;
And when the weeds begin to grow,
It's like a garden full of snow;
And when the snow begins to fall,
It's like a bird upon the wall;
And when the bird away does fly,
It's like an eagle in the sky;
And when the sky begins to roar,
It's like a lion at the door;
And when the door begins to crack,
It's like a stick across your back;
And when your back begins to smart,
It's like a penknife in your heart;
And when your heart begins to bleed,
You're dead, and dead, and dead indeed.
As wet as a fish-as dry as a bone;
As live as a bird-as dead as a stone;
As plump as a partridge-as poor as a rat;
As strong as a horse-as weak as a cat;
As hard as a flint-as soft as a mole;
As white as a lily-as black as a coal;
As plain as a pike-staff-as rough as a bear;
As light as a drum-as free as the air;
As heavy as lead-as light as a feather;
As steady as time-uncertain as weather;
As hot as an oven-as cold as a frog;
As gay as a lark—as sick as a dog;
As slow as the tortoise-as swift as the wind;
As true as the Gospel-as false as mankind;
As thin as a herring-as fat as a pig;
As proud as a peacock-as blithe as a grig;
As savage as tigers-as mild as a dove;
As stiff as a poker-as limp as a glove;
As blind as a bat-as deaf as a post;
As cool as a cucumber-as warm as a toast;
As flat as a flounder-as round as a ball;
As blunt as a hammer-as sharp as an awl;
As red as a ferret-as safe as the stocks;
As bold as a thief-as sly as a fox;
As straight as an arrow-as crook'd as a bow;
As yellow as saffron-as black as a sloe;
As brittle as glass-as tough as gristle;
As neat as my nail-as clean as a whistle;
As good as a feast-as bad as a witch;
As light as is day-as dark as is pitch;
As brisk as a bee-as dull as an ass;
As full as a tick-as solid as brass.
No sun-no moon!
No morn-no noon
No dawn-no dusk-no proper time of day—
No sky-no earthly view-
No distance looking blue
No road-no street-no "t'other side the way"-
No end to any Row-
No indications where the Crescents go-
No top to any steeple-
No recognitions of familiar people
No courtesies for showing 'em-
No knowing 'em!
No travelling at all-no locomotion,
No inkling of the way-no notion-
"No go"-by land or ocean-
No mail-no post-
No news from any foreign coast
No park-no ring-no afternoon gentility-
No company-no nobility—
No warmth, no cheerfulness, no healthful ease,
No comfortable feel in any member-
No shade, no shine, no butterflies, no bees,
No fruits, no flowers, no leaves, no birds,
YOUNG Ben he was a nice young man,
A carpenter by trade;
And he fell in love with Sally Brown,
That was a lady's maid.
But as they fetched a walk one day,
They met a press-gang crew;
And Sally she did faint away,
Whilst Ben he was brought to.
Faithless Sally Brown
The boatswain swore with wicked words,
Enough to shock a saint,
That though she did seem in a fit,
'Twas nothing but a feint.
"Come, girl," said he, "hold up your head,
He'll be as good as me;
For when your swain is in our boat,
A boatswain he will be."
So when they'd made their game of her,
And taken off her elf,
She roused, and found she only was
A coming to herself.
"And is he gone, and is he gone?"
She cried, and wept outright:
"Then I will to the water side,
And see him out of sight."
A waterman came up to her,-
"Now, young woman," said he,
"If you weep on so, you will make
Eye-water in the sea."
"Alas! they've taken my beau, Ben,
To sail with old Benbow;"
And her woe began to run afresh,
As if she'd said, "Gee woe!"
Says he, "They've only taken him
To the Tender-ship, you see;"
"The Tender-ship," cried Sally Brown,
"What a hard-ship that must be!
"O! would I were a mermaid now,
For then I'd follow him;
But, O!-I'm not a fish-woman,
And so I cannot swim.
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