Logic "Ventch! Je vous n'entends pas, Monsieur." A palace, lands, and then a wife "But hold! whose funeral's that?" cries John. Je vous n'entends pas."-" What! is he gone? Good night t'ye, Mounseer Nongtongpaw!" 809 Charles Dibdin. LOGICAL ENGLISH I SAID, "This horse, sir, will you shoe?" I said, "This deed, sir, will you do?" I said, "This stick, sir, will you break?" I said, "This coat, sir, will you make?" Unknown. LOGIC I HAVE a copper penny and another copper penny, Unknown. THE CAREFUL PENMAN A PERSIAN penman named Aziz, It is Aziz as is Aziz." Unknown. QUESTIONS WITH ANSWERS WHAT is earth, sexton?-A place to dig graves; Unknown. CONJUGAL CONJUGATIONS DEAR maid, let me speak What I never yet spoke: You have made my heart squeak As it never yet squoke, And for sight of you, both my eyes ache as they ne'er before oak. Conjugal Conjugations With your voice my ears ring, And a sweeter ne'er rung, Like a bird's on the wing When at morn it has wung. 811 And gladness to me it doth bring, such as never voice brung. My feelings I'd write, But they cannot be wrote, And who can indite What was never indote! And my love I hasten to plight-the first that I plote. Yes, you would I choose, As it never yet sose, And ever on you do I muse, as never man mose. The house where you bide Is a blessed abode; Sure, my hopes I can't hide, For they will not be hode, And no person living has sighed, as, darling, I've sode. Your glances they shine As no others have shone, That a man could resone, And surely no other could pine as I lately have pone: And don't you forget You will ne'er be forgot, You never should fret As at times you have frot, I would chase all the cares that beset, if they ever besot. For you I would weave Songs that never were wove, And deeds I'd achieve Which no man yet achove, And for me you never should grieve, as for you I have grove. I'm as worthy a catch As ever was caught. O, your answer I watch As a man never waught, And we'd make the most elegant match as ever was maught. Let my longings not sink; I would die if they sunk. O, I ask you to think As you never have thunk, And our fortunes and lives let us link, as no lives could be lunk. A. W. Bellaw. LOVE'S MOODS AND SENSES SALLY SALTER, she was a young lady who taught, And her friend Charley Church was a preacher who praught! Though his enemies called him a screecher who scraught. His heart when he saw her kept sinking and sunk, He hastened to woo her, and sweetly he wooed, In secret he wanted to speak, and he spoke, To seek with his lips what his heart long had soke; He asked her to ride to the church, and they rode, They so sweetly did glide, that they both thought they glode, And they came to the place to be tied, and were tode. Then, "homeward" he said, "let us drive" and they drove, The Siege of Belgrade The kiss he was dying to steal, then he stole: At the feet where he wanted to kneel, then he knole, So they to each other kept clinging, and clung; The man Sally wanted to catch, and had caught 813 That she wanted from others to snatch, and had snaughtWas the one that she now liked to scratch and she scraught. And Charley's warm love began freezing and froze, The girl he had wished to be squeezing and squoze. "Wretch!" he cried, when she threatened to leave him, and left, "How could you deceive me, as you have deceft?" And she answered, "I promised to cleave, and I've cleft!" Unknown. THE SIEGE OF BELGRADE AN Austrian army, awfully array'd, For fame, for freedom, fight, fierce furious fray. How honors Heav'n heroic hardihood! Infuriate, indiscriminate in ill, Just Jesus, instant innocence instill! Kinsmen kill kinsmen, kindred kindred kill. Labour low levels longest, loftiest lines; Men march 'midst mounds, motes, mountains, murd'rous mines. Now noisy, noxious numbers notice nought, Of outward obstacles o'ercoming ought; |