LOVELILTS

THINE eyes, dear one, dot dot, are like, dash, what?
They, pure as sacred oils, bless and anoint

My sin-swamped soul which at thy feet sobs out,
O exclamation point, O point, O point!

Ah, had I words, blank blank, which, dot, I've not, I'd swoon in songs which should'st illume the dark With light of thee. Ah, God (it's strong to swear) Why, why, interrogation mark, why, mark?

Dot dot dot dot. And so, dash, yet, but nay!

My tongue takes pause; some words must not be said, For fear the world, cold hyphen-eyed, austere, Should'st shake thee by the throat till reason fled.

One hour of love we've had. Dost thou recall
Dot dot dash blank interrogation mark?

The night was ours, blue heaven over all

Dash, God! dot stars, keep thou our secret dark!

Marion Hill,

JOCOSA LYRA

IN our hearts is the Great One of Avon

Engraven,

And we climb the cold summits once built on
By Milton.

But at times not the air that is rarest
Is fairest,

And we long in the valley to follow

Apollo.

Then we drop from the heights atmospheric
To Herrick,

Or we pour the Greek honey, grown blander,
Of Landor;

To a Thesaurus

Or our cosiest nook in the shade is
Where Praed is,

Or we toss the light bells of the mocker
With Locker.

Oh, the song where not one of the Graces
Tight-laces,-

Where we woo the sweet Muses not starchly
But archly,-

Where the verse, like a piper a-Maying,
Comes playing,—

And the rhyme is as gay as a dancer
In answer,-

It will last till men weary of pleasure
In measure!

It will last till men weary of laughter
And after!

825

Austin Dobson.

TO A THESAURUS

O PRECIOUS code, volume, tome,
Book, writing, compilation, work
Attend the while I pen a pome,

A jest, a jape, a quip, a quirk.

For I would pen, engross, indite,
Transcribe, set forth, compose, address,
Record, submit-yea, even write

An ode, an elegy to bless

To bless, set store by, celebrate,

Approve, esteem, endow with soul,

Commend, acclaim, appreciate,

Immortalize, laud, praise, extol.

Thy merit, goodness, value, worth,
Experience, utility-

O manna, honey, salt of earth,
I sing, I chant, I worship thee!

How could I manage, live, exist,
Obtain, produce, be real, prevail,
Be present in the flesh, subsist,

Have place, become, breathe or inhale.

Without thy help, recruit, support,
Opitulation, furtherance,
Assistance, rescue, aid, resort,
Favour, sustention and advance?

Alack! Alack! and well-a-day!

My case would then be dour and sad,
Likewise distressing, dismal, gray,
Pathetic, mournful, dreary, bad.

Though I could keep this up all day,
This lyric, elegiac, song,

Meseems hath come the time to say

Farewell! Adieu! Good-by! So long!

Franklin P. Adams.

THE FUTURE OF THE CLASSICS

No longer, O scholars, shall Plautus

Be taught us.

No more shall professors be partial

To Martial.

No ninny

Will stop playing "shinney "
For Pliny.

Not even the veriest Mexican Greaser

Will stop to read Cæsar.

No true son of Erin will leave his potato
To list to the love-lore of Ovid or Plato.

The Future of the Classics

Old Homer,

That hapless old roamer,

Will ne'er find a rest 'neath collegiate dome or
Anywhere else. As to Seneca,
Any cur

Safely may snub him, or urge ill

Effects from the reading of Virgil.
Cornelius Nepos

Wont keep us

Much longer from pleasure's light errands-
Nor Terence.

The irreverent now may all scoff in ease
At the shade of poor old Aristophanes.
And moderns it now doth behoove in all
Ways to despise poor old Juvenal;
And to chivvy

Livy.

The class-room hereafter will miss a row
Of eager young students of Cicero.
The 'longshoreman-yes, and the dock-rat, he's
Down upon Socrates.

And what'll

Induce us to read Aristotle?

We shall fail in

Our duty to Galen.

No tutor henceforward shall rack us
To construe old Horatius Flaccus.
We have but a wretched opinion

Of Mr. Justinian.

In our classical pabulum mix we've no wee sop
Of Æsop.

Our balance of intellect asks for no ballast
From Sallust.

With feminine scorn no fair Vassar-bred lass at us
Shall smile if we own that we cannot read Tacitus.
No admirer shall ever now wreathe with begonias
The bust of Suetonius.

And so, if you follow me,

We'll have to cut Ptolemy.

Besides, it would just be considered facetious
To look at Lucretius.

827

And you can

Not go in Society if you read Lucan,
And we cannot have any fun
Out of Xenophon.

Unknown.

CAUTIONARY VERSES

My little dears, who learn to read, pray early, learn to shun That very silly thing indeed which people call a pun;

Read Entick's rules, and 'twill be found how simple an

offence

It is to make the selfsame sound afford a double sense.

For instance, ale may make you ail, your aunt an ant may

kill,

You in a vale may buy a veil and Bill may pay the bill.
Or if to France your bark you steer, at Dover it may be
A peer appears upon the pier, who blind, still goes to sea.

Thus, one might say, when, to a treat, good friends accept our

greeting,

'Tis meet that men who meet to eat should eat their meat when meeting;

Brawn on the board's no bore indeed, although from boar prepared;

Nor can the fowl on which we feed, foul feeding be declared.

Thus one ripe fruit may be a pear, and yet be pared again,
And still be one, which seemeth rare until we do explain.
It therefore should be all your aim to speak with ample care,
For who, however fond of game, would choose to swallow
hair?

A fat man's gait may make us smile, who have no gate to

close;

The farmer sitting on his stile no stylish person knows. Perfumers men of scents must be; some Scilly men are

bright;

A brown man oft deep read we see, a black a wicked wight