Love Online: Emotions on the Internet

Front Cover
Cambridge University Press, Jan 19, 2004 - Psychology
Computers have changed not just the way we work but the way we love. Falling in and out of love, flirting, cheating, even having sex online have all become part of the modern way of living and loving. Yet we know very little about these new types of relationship. How is an online affair where the two people involved may never see or meet each other different from an affair in the real world? Is online sex still cheating on your partner? Why do people tell complete strangers their most intimate secrets? What are the rules of engagement? Will online affairs change the monogamous nature of romantic relationships? These are just some of the questions Professor Aaron Ben Ze'ev, distinguished writer and academic, addresses in this book, a full-length study of love online. Accessible, shocking, entertaining, enlightening, this book will change the way you look at cyberspace and love forever.
 

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This book delves into the very new and relevant world of the Internet. The focus here is mainly on relationships conducted solely via text, picture, and live as well as prerecorded video. The ... Read full review

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Contents

The seductive space
1
Cyberlove and cybersex
4
Letter telegraph and telephone
7
Mobile texting
14
The egalitarian space
16
The lure of the Net
18
The risky space
20
Summary
23
Is it worth it?
120
Love and sex
123
Happiness
126
Types of online intimate activities
129
Types of activities involved in cybersex
131
The incomplete nature of online affairs
133
Summary
143
Flirting on and offline
145

The paradoxical nature of online relationships
26
Distance and immediacy
27
Lean and rich communication
30
Anonymity and selfdisclosure
34
Sincerity and deception
42
Continuity and discontinuity
46
Physical and mental investment
49
Distant relationships
51
Summary
55
Emotions on the Net
58
A comparative personal concern
60
Typical characteristics and components
63
Emotional intensity
66
Emotions and intelligence
70
Netiquette
73
Summary
76
Online imagination
78
The reality of online imagination
80
Exciting information
83
The reality of romantic and sexual imagination
86
Dangers of online imagination
88
Regret and online affairs
91
Summary
93
Online privacy and emotional closeness
95
Initial distinctions
96
Types of privacy
97
Privacy emotional closeness and openness
100
Online closeness
102
Online openness
106
Emotional pretense and sexual harassment
108
The transparent society
111
Shame in cyberspace
114
Summary
118
Online affairs as flirting
149
The rules for online dating
152
The formation of online affairs
155
Summary
159
Cyberlove
160
Seeing with your heart
166
Online attraction
169
Love at first chat
175
Availability and effort
177
The exclusivity of cyberlove
181
Online intimacy and commitment
188
Online rejection
192
Gender differences
193
Summary
197
Chatting is sometimes cheating
199
Chatting about sex
202
Casual sex adultery and infidelity
205
The morality of online affairs
208
Cybersex with software
216
The risks and prospects of online affairs
217
Summary
221
The future of romantic relationships
223
The marriage paradox
227
Proclaimed monogamy with clandestine adultery
230
Cohabitation and online affairs
232
Whetting your appetite outside while eating at home
236
Greater romantic flexibility
242
Concluding remarks
246
Notes
249
Bibliography
264
Index
275
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