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having described my person to the keeper of the inn, he asked if he remembered such a gentleman having been at his house on such an evening. He replied to him in the affirmative, adding, “The gentleman came in, sir, while we were at tea, the usual time of which is six o'clock; it might have been a few minutes after, though many it could not have been : he remained in my house the whole of the evening, and, at about ten, retired.' 'Having stated thus much,' said my friend, 'he turned, and called his wife, who, when she appeared, corroborated, in every particular, the statements of her husband.'
“An Alibi was thus satisfactorily proved; as the time stated, that I was discovered in the theatre, was from seven until about ten minutes after. This pleasing information was the same night laid before a meeting, convened for the purpose, and received by every one with unfeigned delight. The next day I pursued my usual labours, although but little fit for my engagements, thankful that I had promptly met the allegation, and that deliverance had been experienced from Him who is 'a very present help in time of trouble,' and who has promised, if we call upon Him, He will deliver us.
Here my friend ceased. A bright tear stood in his eye: he was evidently affected. My own vision was obscured by some drops I could not restrain, which gave evidence that I had not been an inattentive or unaffected listener to his
interesting relation. A variety of reflections passed through my mind, which I forbear to state; leaving it with yourself to furnish such as the importance of the circumstances immediately suggest.
A MODERN ZANTIPPE;
A SKETCH FROM REAL LIFE.
Look now for no enchanting voice, nor fear
“PRAY may I enquire where you are going?” asked Mr. Ohobyholio (for the derivation of his name I profess not to hold myself accountable) of his dear wife, as he perceived her making preparations for leaving the house. “I am going out,” replied her ladyship, coldly and snappishly. Mr. Ohobyholio dreamed not the reply to be an answer to his question, inasmuch as he was aware of the fact stated a priori to his proposing the question; he therefore, in a mild tone, continued, “and pray where are you going to walk ?”
Now would any lady of common sense, or of common anything else, conceive such a simple enquiry either imprudent or improper from a lord and—and—that is, from—the word is so old fashioned and formal, how shall I use it and and yet, use it I must,--and Husband ? Every unmarried lady, I am confident, will be ready to answer “no! If I only had a—" but no matter : the difference between matrimony and celibacy is so great, that words are wanting to express it. -Mrs. Ohobyholio was married, and therefore thought differently. She turned upon her husband with a look—such a look,-one of the furies of Orestes could scarcely have equalled it, and in a tone befiting the look, and with an action suiting the tone, replied, "I am going out; where I am going can be of no consequence to you ; and if it is, it would have been well if you had made your inquiry in some other way, or at some other time: I am going out,” she repeated, and her large grey eyes once more glared horribly upon him as she spoke, and turning upon her heel, she went out with a strut and with a toss of the head, quite militaire.
“Tempora Mutantur !” exclaimed Mr. Ohobyholio, with a sigh, as the door was closed with violence by his better half, which hid her from his sight. There had been a period when he had boasted of his spirit and power, and when he had most heroically resolved (having heard of ladies who had forgotten their solemn engagements at the altar) never to submit to the improper and insolent sway of a woman who might forget herself. (He was then a bachelor.) But he had lighted upon one of those
demoiselles who are a shame to their sex; and had long proved it, much easier to get a wife than to rule a wife.
He had laid down his book for a inoment, which he had been reading, but now resumed it, seeking amidst
Thoughts that breathe, and words that burn," to cool down the warmth of his feelings which had been excited. He had indeed been so long used to such delectabilities, as to have become nearly familiar with them; and yet he could not but feel,-and who that is not either more or less than man, but must have felt?—He resumed his book, and presently stumbled upon a part of his author (Milton),—who, by the by, appears to have possessed a degree of knowledge of untameable espouses, surpassing all the illustrious inainoratos of the present day,—in which, with all the poignancy of smarting experience, he describes, like a master, the character of the frail part of the sex du juste.
“ These are thy wonted arts;