The Resilient Self: How Survivors of Troubled Families Rise Above AdversityAn informative and inspiring guide to rebounding from childhood hardships to find uncommon strength and courage “The Resilient Self reminds us all of the importance of being aware of and building on the strengths of our young people, whatever their early life experiences. We must work to give them hope and to craft services and programs that are respectful of the resiliencies so thoughtfully characterized by the Wolins. This guide, although based on the experiences of adults, offers extremely useful insights too for those working on behalf of children and adolescents.”—Marian Wright Edelman, president, Children’s Defense Fund “This book offers a strong sense of hope for everyone who has grown up in a troubled family. I salute the authors for their masterful synthesis of research, clinical experiences, and insights gleaned from the voices of poetry. The Wolins’ book cautions the reader that no one emerges from troubled childhood without some scars, but it challenges us to finds ways in which we can transforms pain into joy in our lives.”—Emmy E. Werner, Ph.D., author of Vulnerable But Invincible and Overcoming the Odds “This marvelous book can turn the tide for people injured during their childhoods, not by ignoring the ashes of the past, but by winnowing out the precious elements from which the phoenix can triumphantly rise. It is a book that has been badly needed, and for which many will long be grateful.”—Timmen L. Cermak, M.D., former chairman, National Association for Children of Alcoholics “At last, a compassionate and realistic challenge to abandon the idea that one is a passive object of an unhappy childhood. The Resilient Self encourages readers to recognize and appreciate their strong, insightful, and creative survival.”—Barbara Mathis, author of Between Sisters: Secret Rivals, Intimate Friends “The Resilient Self shows adult children of dysfunctional families that they can escape a painful past and become resilient survivors. It describes the strategies which have been used successfully by those who grew up in troubled homes but who managed to work well, play well, and love well as adults. I recognized myself in this book with a survivor’s pride.”—Anonymous survivor |
Contents
| 1 | |
To Name the Damage Is to Conquer It | 22 |
How to Resist the Victims Trap | 49 |
SEVEN RESILIENCIES | 62 |
A Delicate Negotiation | 88 |
The Search for Love | 111 |
The Pleasure in Problems | 136 |
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Common terms and phrases
abuse adolescence adult Alan Albert Rapp alcoholic answer asked Barbara Berkowitz capacity Challenge Model Chapter child childhood Christina Stead CREATIVITY HUMOR Damage Inventory Damage Model described disengagement Dominique Emmy Werner emotional experience face family's troubles father feel felt friends give growing healthy hurt initiative inside INSIGHT INDEPENDENCE RELATIONSHIPS interviewed James Anthony Janet Jean Piaget Jeffrey Jerome Kagan kids knew Lena Linda Bennett Listen living Lois Murphy looking mirror moral mother never Noreen pain past PATHOLOGIES physical picture play problems protective psychological Psychological Resilience questions recalled reframing Resiliency Mandala resilient children resilient survivors Robert Coles Ruby Bridges Sandra sense Sharon Olds Sigmund Freud Solarz someone story strength Survivor's Pride talk teenager tell therapy things tion told troubled families troubled parents turn Victim's Trap wedge Wolin York young