CHA P. XXVIII.

THE DEBATE OF MARRIAGE CONTINUED.

TH

HE good of the whole, fays Raffelas, is the fame with the good of all its parts. If marriage be beft for mankind it must be evidently best for individuals, or a permanent and neceffary duty must be the cause of evil, and some must be inevitably facrificed to the convenience of others. the estimate which you have made of the two ftates, it appears that the incommodities of a single life are, in a great measure, neceffary and certain, but those of the conjugal ftate accidental and avoidable.

In

"I cannot forbear to flatter myself, that prudence and benevolence will make

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make marriage happy. The general folly of mankind is the cause of general complaint. What can be expected but disappointment and repentance from a choice made in the immaturity of youth, in the ardour of defire, without judgment, without forefight, without inquiry after conformity of opinions, fimilarity of manners, rectitude of judgment, or purity of fentiment.

"Such is the common procefs of marriage. A youth or maiden meeting by chance, or brought together by artifice, exchange glances, reciprocate civilities, go home, and dream of one another. Having little to divert attention, or diverfify thought, they find themselves uneafy when they are apart, and therefore conclude that they fhall be happy together. They marry, and discover what nothing but voluntary blindness

before

before had concealed; they wear out life in altercations, and charge nature with cruelty.

"From thofe early marriages proceeds likewife the rivalry of parents and children the fon is eager to enjoy the world before the father is willing to forfake it, and there is hardly room at once for two generations. The daughter be, gins to bloom before the mother can be content to fade, and neither can forbear to wish for the absence of the other.

Surely all these evils may be avoided by that deliberation and delay which prudence prescribes to irrevocable choice. In the variety and jollity of youthful pleasures life may be well enough fupported without the help of a partner. Longer time will increase experience, and wider views will allow better opportunities of inquiry and felection: I 3

one

one advantage, at leaft, will be certain; the parents will be visibly older than their children."

"What reafon cannot collect, faid Nekayah, and what experiment has not yet taught, can be known only from the report of others. I have been told that late marriages are not eminently happy. This is a queftion too important to be neglected, and I have often proposed it to thofe, whofe accuracy of remark, and comprehensiveness of knowledge, made their fuffrages worthy of regard. They have generally determined, that it is dangerous for a man and woman to fufpend their fate upon each other, at a time when opinions are fixed, and habits are established; when friendships have been contracted on both fides, when life has been planned into method, and the mind has long

enjoyed

enjoyed the contemplation of its own prospects.

"It is fcarcely poffible that two travelling through the world under the conduct of chance, fhould have been both directed to the fame path, and it will not often happen that either will quit the track which custom has made pleafing. When the defultory levity of youth has fettled into regularity, it is foon fucceeded by pride afhamed to yield, or obftinacy delighting to contend. And even though mutual esteem produces mutual defire to please, time itself, as it modifies unchangeably the external mien, determines likewise the direction of the paffions, and gives an inflexible rigidity to the manners. Long customs are not easily broken: he that attempts to change the courfe of his own life, very often labours in vain;