And Do not, as soon as you see my hand-writing, begin to reprove me for doing a forbidden thing, as I intend to write but little; only I cannot help indulging the desire I feel just to send you a few lines. inasmuch as I suppose you would like to know how I have been, how I am, and how I am likely to be, I intend to indulge your curiosity, and to make myself the burden of my song. In the first place, then, after you left me on Tuesday, I was so cheered by the delightful retrospection of the days which your society had rendered happy, that I was enabled to think of your departure without tears, and to maintain a tolerably calm frame of mind through the remainder of that and the whole of the following day. But on the Thursday I began to flag, either in body or mind, I know not which, but perhaps in both, as they commonly act in unison, and continued very unwell for several days. These feelings were followed by a revival, and that was succeeded by a period of more indisposition than I have had for some time; in which way I commenced this week, suffering much from head-ach and great languor at intervals. But yesterday I again felt on a sudden uncommonly well. From these details, my dearest I leave you to form your own opinion concerning me. I feel I quite ashamed at having said so much about myself, but I know it is your wish that I should be circumstantial; and it is to gratify your kind anxiety, that I have been thus minute on a subject worthy least of all to be dwelt upon. I do not feel at all solicitous about my recovery, perhaps not so much as it is my duty to feel. We must use the means, and leave the event to our heavenly Father, who 'doeth all things well.' Your dear letter acted like a cordial on me, I have been craving permission to write to you, and have at last obtained leave to make use of my pen for a short time. To-day I have been charmingly; the lovely weather has quite exhilarated me. I hope you were satisfied with the account I gave of myself on Saturday, although you must have thought me a complete egotist. I took a most delightful ride this morning the air clear and salubrious; nature lovely and enchanting; it was health to gaze on its beauties. Remember I have Mr. B.'s sanction for riding out, so do not be alarmed. 'Who shall decide when doctors disagree?' By the by, I have a message from mamma; she sends her kind love, and asks, what is to be done with the tar-water?' She has made two 6 quarts of this delicious beverage, and it lies on one side as a useless commodity. Do, dear nurse, direct us how to act in this emergency." * * 6 "To one who is enduring chastisement, it is delightful to know that this is one of the means, adopted by our heavenly Father, for the spiritual growth of his children. It is only for the present that 'it seemeth to be grievous,' but, afterward, it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness in them that are exercised thereby.' And ought we not to rejoice at any dispensation which is designed to effect the glorious result of producing in us the fruits of the Spirit?' 'Yea; and we will rejoice.' Oh that the purpose for which God visits his chosen with affliction may be fully answered in me; that I may come out of the furnace as gold seven times purified; that I may be more assimilated to the holy character of Him who did no sin,' and whose word is, 'Be ye holy, for I am holy!' How much is done to make me happy! Oh! I wish I could feel more thankful, more filled with love to the Author of all our mercies; that I could say with greater ardour of gratitude, 'Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits.' Mamma sends her kindest love, and hopes you will not fail to come. Fix your own time, I promise to * * be open-armed to receive you. You will consider me much better in some respects. I am stronger, and now and then mischievous (an infallible symptom of improvement). I love my little room; you know I am fond of retirement; yet the visits of my friends are an agreeable change. 'I praise the Frenchman; his remark was shrewd, But grant me just a friend in my retreat, "I often think of you, and love to remember that I too am present in your thoughts. Yes, we WILL love one another, and by this shall it be known that we are His disciples, who hath himself loved and redeemed us. Let us often commend each other to his care; then shall we be safe and happy. 'Blessed are they that do his commandments, that they may have right to the tree of life, and may enter in, through the gates, into the city." * * * * * * As an extension of the cord draws a knot the tighter, so does every separation render you increasingly dear to me. Your beloved image has been before me a thousand times since we parted, and every fresh recollection is sweeter than the former. we are in being so dear to each other! How happy Is it not a 6 delightful employment to look back on the hours we have spent together? Yet there is something even better than these retrospections. Far more delightful is it to indulge in anticipation of the enjoyment that awaits us in a union that will be eternal. Oh blissful thought, to meet and part no more! and to meet in heaven, in the mansions prepared by our Father! This is the height of our blessedness, to dwell in the presence of our Redeemer, and see him 'face to face,' ascribing for ever, honour, and glory, and power,' 'unto him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood.' O my beloved friend, it requires grace to enable us patiently to wait for the realization of such glorious hopes. But patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit, and it will be given us. I am as gay as a lark this morning, but in sad disgrace with my doctor for venturing out last week. He fancies I have a degree of inflammation in the wind-pipe, and has prescribed leeches as a remedy. This perhaps is done just to frighten me into obedience; nevertheless to the leeches I must pay my devoirs this evening, and be less refractory in future. 'Tis such a consolation to think that, in my last ride, you were my companion." * * * * "My dear M TO MISS B. "Halesworth, Nov. 2nd, 1836. What pleasure I feel in being able to renew a correspondence which indisposition has interrupted! |