Old MRS. PETER soon began
To see the failure of his plan,
And then resolved (I quote the Bard)
To "hoist him with his own petard."

Old PETER Woke next day and dressed, Put on his coat, and shoes, and vest, His shirt and stock; but could not find His only pair of never mind!

Old PETER was a decent man,

And though he twigged his lady's plan, Yet, hearing her approaching, he Resumed invisibility.

"Dear MRS. P., my only joy,"
Exclaimed the horrified old boy,
"Now, give them up, I beg of you-
You know what I'm referring to!"

But no; the cross old lady swore She'd keep his-what I said beforeTo make him publicly absurd;

And MRS. PETER kept her word.

The poor old fellow had no rest;
His coat, his stock, his shoes, his vest,
Were all that now met mortal eye—

The rest, invisibility!

"Now, madam, give them up, I beg-
I've bad rheumatics in my leg;
Besides, until you do, it's plain
I cannot come to sight again!

"For though some mirth it might afford
To see my clothes without their lord,
Yet there would rise indignant oaths
If he were seen without his clothes!"

But no; resolved to have her quiz,
The lady held her own-and his—
And PETER left his humble cot
To find a pair of you know what.

But here's the worst of the affair-
Whene'er he came across a pair
Already placed for him to don,
He was too stout to get them on!

So he resolved at once to train,

And walked and walked with all his main; For years he paced this mortal earth,

To bring himself to decent girth.

At night, when all around is still,
You'll find him pounding up a hill;
And shrieking peasants whom he meets,
Fall down in terror on the peats!

Old PETER walks through wind and rain,
Resolved to train, and train, and train,
Until he weighs twelve stone or so-
And when he does, I'll let you know.

THE MYSTIC SELVAGEE.

PERHAPS

APS already you may know
SIR BLENNERHASSET PORTICO ?

A Captain in the Navy, he

A Baronet and K.C.B.

You do? I thought so!

It was that Captain's favourite whim
(A notion not confined to him)
That RODNEY was the greatest tar

Who ever wielded capstan-bar.

He had been taught so.

"BENBOW! CORNWALLIS! HOOD!-Belay ! Compared with RODNEY" he would say

"No other tar is worth a rap!

The great LORD RODNEY was the chap

The French to polish!

"Though, mind you, I respect LORD HOOD; CORNWALLIS, too, was rather good; BENBOW Could enemies repel,

LORD NELSON, too, was pretty well

That is, tol-lol-ish!"

SIR BLENNERHASSET spent his days

In learning RODNEY'S little ways,
And closely imitated, too,

His mode of talking to his crew

His port and paces.

An ancient tar he tried to catch

Who'd served in RODNEY'S famous batch;
But since his time long years have fled,

And RODNEY's tars are mostly dead:

Eheu fugaces!

But after searching near and far,

At last he found an ancient tar

Who served with RODNEY and his crew

Against the French in 'Eighty-two,

(That gained the peerage).

He gave him fifty pounds a year,
His rum, his baccy, and his beer;
And had a comfortable den

Rigged up in what, by merchantmen,

Is called the steerage.

"Now, JASPER

-'t was that sailor's name

"Don't fear that you'll incur my blame

By saying, when it seems to you,

That there is anything I do

That RODNEY wouldn't."