as thick as Tewksbury mustard; there's no
more conceit in him than is in a mallet.

Dol. Why does the prince love him so, then?
Fal. Because their legs are both of a bigness; and

a' plays at quoits well; and eats conger and
fennel; and drinks off candles' ends for flap-
dragons; and rides the wild-mare with the boys;
and jumps upon joined-stools; and swears with 260
a good grace; and wears his boots very smooth,
like unto the sign of the leg; and breeds no
bate with telling of discreet stories; and such
other gambol faculties a' has, that show a weak
mind and an able body, for the which the prince
admits him: for the prince himself is such an-
other; the weight of a hair will turn the scales
between their avoirdupois.

Prince. Would not this nave of a wheel have his ears
cut off?

Poins. Let's beat him before his whore.

Prince. Look, whether the withered elder hath not his poll clawed like a parrot.

Poins. Is it not strange that desire should so many years outlive performance?

Fal. Kiss me, Doll.

Prince. Saturn and Venus this year in conjunction! what says the almanac to that?

Poins. And, look, whether the fiery Trigon, his man,

270

be not lisping to his master's old tables, his 280 note-book, his counsel-keeper.

Fal. Thou dost give me flattering busses.

Dol. By my troth, I kiss thee with a most constant

heart.

Fal. I am old, I am old.

Dol. I love thee better than I love e'er a scurvy young boy of them all.

Fal. What stuff wilt have a kirtle of? I shall receive money o' Thursday: shalt have a cap to-morrow. A merry song, come: it grows late; we'll 290 to bed. Thou 'lt forget me when I am gone. Dol. By my troth, thou 'lt set me a-weeping, an thou sayest so: prove that ever I dress myself handsome till thy return: well, hearken at the end. Fal. Some sack, Francis.

Prince.

}

Poins.

Anon, anon, sir.

[Coming forward.

Fal. Ha! a bastard son of the king's? And art not thou Poins his brother?

Prince. Why, thou globe of sinful continents, what a life dost thou lead!

Fal. A better than thou: I am a gentleman; thou art a drawer.

Prince. Very true, sir; and I come to draw you out by the ears.

Host. O, the Lord preserve thy good grace! by my troth, welcome to London. Now, the Lord bless that sweet face of thine! O Jesu, art you come from Wales?

300

Fal. Thou whoreson mad compound of majesty, by this light flesh and corrupt blood, thou art 310 welcome.

Dol. How, you fat fool! I scorn you.

Poins. My lord, he will drive you out of your revenge and turn all to a merriment, if you take not the heat.

Prince. You whoreson candle-mine, you, how vilely

did you speak of me even now before this honest,
virtuous, civil gentlewoman!

'Host. God's blessing of your good heart! and so she
is, by my troth.

Fal. Didst thou hear me?

Prince. Yea, and you knew me, as you did when you

ran away by Gadshill: you knew I was at your
back, and spoke it on purpose to try my pa-
tience.

Fal. No, no, no; not so; I did not think thou wast
within hearing.

Prince. I shall drive you then to confess the wilful abuse; and then I know how to handle you.

Fal. No abuse, Hal, o' mine honour; no abuse. Prince. Not to dispraise me, and call me pantler and bread-chipper and I know not what?

Fal. No abuse, Hal.

Poins. No abuse?

320

330

Fal. No abuse, Ned, i' the world; honest Ned, none. I dispraised him before the wicked, that the wicked might not fall in love with him; in which doing, I have done the part of a careful friend and a true subject, and thy father is to give me thanks for it. No abuse, Hal: none, Ned, none: 340 no, faith, boys, none.

Prince. See now, whether pure fear and entire cowardice doth not make thee wrong this virtuous gentlewoman to close with us. Is she of the wicked? is thine hostess here of the wicked? or is thy boy of the wicked? or honest Bardolph, whose zeal burns in his nose, of the wicked?