Your titles would be very far from trumps, The Duke of Draw-well-what a name to dread! ODE TO SIR ANDREW AGNEW, BART.5 "At certain seasons he makes a prodigious clattering with his bill."-SELBY. "The bill is rather long, flat, and tinged with green."-BEWICK. O ANDREW FAIRSERVICE—but I beg pardon, I do not like my Church so very High! When people talk, as talk they will, About your bill, They say, among their other jibes and small jeers, That, if you had your way, You'd make the seventh day As overbearing as the Dey of Algiers. Talk of converting Blacks— By your attacks, You make a thing so horrible of one day, Than your Man Sunday ! So poor men speak, Who, once a week, Perhaps, after weaving artificial flowers, Can snatch a glance of Nature's kinder bowers, And revel in a bloom That is not of the loom, Making the earth, the streams, the skies, the trees, A Chapel of Ease. Whereas, as you would plan it, Walled in with hard Scotch granite, People all day should look to their behaviors;- Zounds! would you have us work at them like paviors? Spontaneous is pure devotion's fire; And in a green wood many a soul has built A new Church, with a fir-tree for its spire, Where Sin has prayed for peace, and wept for guilt, Suppose a poor town-weary sallow elf Milk genuine at Chalk Farm; The innocent intention who would baulk, But there's a sect of Deists, and their creed Yea, all that are not of their saintly level, To send, with an "aroint," Down to that great Fillhellenist, the Devil. Go down to Margate, wisest of law-makers, (Of course the sea will do as it is bid), "This is the Sabbath-let there be no breakers !" Or, seek Dissenters at their mid-day meal, "These are not Chappel's sausages!" Suppose your Act should act up to your will, Yet how will it appear to Mrs. Grundy, To hear you saying of this pious bill, "It works well-on a Sunday!" To knock down apple-stalls is now too late, You might have done some good, and changed our fate, 'Tis useless to prescribe salt-cod and eggs, Or lay post-horses under legal fetters, Consider―Acts of Parliament may bind A man to go where Irvings are discoursing; Remember, as a Scottish legislator, The Scotch Kirk always has a Moderator; Religion one should never overdo: As if to hint unto the sons of men, After creation should come re-creation. ODE TO J. S. BUCKINGHAM, ESQ., M. P.,6 “Then did they fall upon the chat of drinking; and forthwith began Flaggons to go, Goblets to fly, great Bowls to ting, Glasses to ring, draw, reach, fill, mix, give it me without water; so, my Friend, so; whip me off this Glass neatly, bring me hither some Claret, a full weeping Glass till it run over!"-RABELAIS. "Now, seeing that every Vessel was empty, great and small, with not so much at the Bottom as would half befuddle or muddle even a Fly, such as are the Flies of Baieux, I say, seeing this lamentable sight, Gargantua leapt up on one of the Tables, and with Tears in his Eyes as big as Cannon Bullets, did pathetically beseech Pantagruel, as well as he could for the Hiccups and the Drinking Cups, and all sorts of Cups, as he valued his precious Body and Soul, one or both, never to drink more than became a reasonable Man, and not a Hog and a Beast. And the Stint of a reasonably reasonable Man is thus much, to wit, seven Thousand three Hundred and fifty-three Hogsheads, twice as many Kilderkins, thrice as many little Kegs, and as many Flaggons, Bottles, and Tankards as you will, beside. A Christian ought not to drink more. As Gargantua said these Words his Voice grew thick, his Tongue being as it were too huge for his Mouth; and on a sudden he turned dog-sick, and fell off the Table a prodigious Fall, whereby there was a horrible Earthquake, from Paris even unto Turkey in Asia, as is remembered unto this day."-RABELAIS. O, Mr. Buckingham, if I may take I hope will prove both pertinent and pretty: When after (I must say) much Temperance swaggering, That's staggering! Of course you labored without drop or sup, A corkscrew, not a pen, had drawn it up. |