saw to laff about me, I can't say, for jist as if there was any harm in feedin' a poor innocent ape.

"Well, as I was a sayin' jist now, Jacko (as I called him) and me got shockin' confidental. I had given him the second pen'orth of chesnuts, and he kept teazin me for more; so I got tew stroken' him on the head and feelin' ov his tail. This I did for a minnit or tew, when I saw him kind a' look at me savagerous, and wink at a baboon; but I thought he was jokin' with me; and jist as I was reachin' over tew git a bit of chesnut which had fallen in the straw, may I go to kingdom come backwards ef he didn't make a dig at me and jerk me by this mole (pointing to his nose), and there held me while he pulled my hair with the other.

Jehosophat! didn't I scream! I thought I felt my nose and face partin' company; and as for my hair, the cussed brute must have taken enough to make a mustach! My hat dropped off, and lookin' around I saw about fifty people all a-laffin at me as hard as they could, includin' that slick chap with the glass, and his lobster-lookin' friend with the mutton-chop whiskers. If ever I felt like the little end of nothin' whittled down tew a pint, I did then. I seized my umbrella, and shovin' it through the bars, determined I'd give the ungrateful varmint a poke anyhow. It jerked, twisted, and then jumped from one side of the cage to the other; then it twisted its chain, and squealed like a stuck pig. This roused up a lot of little monkeys that were huddled back in the cage which I didn't notice; and, bouncin' about, they tew all joined in the squall. Talk about the noise of Niagara falls on the Canada side, it's perfect music to the yell them darn'd critters set up. In five minutes' time every monkey in the room-an' thar wuz about five hundred, counting quick, and judgin' by the squeals-set up their pipes tew, and then I thought the ceilin' would come down. Jist as I made a dig for the big ape, I happened to turn around to see whether the people were skeert, when, may I

never agin see New Hampshire, if the brute didn't jerk the umbrella out of my hand and pull it bang intew the cage! I wish you'd a-heard them snort then; it wuz wus than the squeal of the monkeys. One fat old woman with flounces had to be supported by the slick chap with the glass, and I heard half-a-dozen articles of wearin' apparel crack and snap ef I heard one. It was death to tight trowsers.

"Well, as I saw Mr. Ape wuz a-gittin' the best of the battle, I thought I'd better beat a retreat; but how to git my umbrella I didn't know, and go without it I couldn't. Jist as I wuz lookin' about me, a man--I s'pose the keeper of the cage-come up, and told me I was causin' a great hubbub among the animals. The slick chap stepped up peart-like, and said he'd told me to be keerful, and repeated that I had caused an alarmin' sensation among the monkeys. I eyed him from head to foot, and his friend tew in the red, and said in as cuttin' a tone as I could fetch up, 'Ya-as I have, and among the jackasses tew.' This turned the snigger for a short spell on my sugar-candy friends, and the man having coaxed the ungrateful old ape to give up the umbrella-which it did with a handful of ugly grins -I put it under my arm, and tellin' the crowd I'd hev revenge out of that brute ef it cost me a lawsuit, I went off in the darndest huff I think I ever got intew about a dumb animal.”

"Really that was quite an adventure," said we. Our friend's broad unctuous manner was irresistibly droll, and we interrupted his recital by frequent bursts of laughter. The portion of the story relating to the extensive mole on his nose we could readily realize, as the excrescence formed a perfect handle to the doric formation it surmounted. "You'll never forget the Regent's Park, remarked we, in the utmost solicitude for the safety of an ebony ornament cunningly wrought, which Jonathan had taken from the mantel, and to our horror was searching for his pocket-knife.

"This appears to be all-nation hard wood-beats lignum

vitæ hollow," said he, bending his gaze curiously on it. In another moment he was practically illustrating his remark by an application of the knife to the ebony, which it stoutly resisted.

"Good gracious, Mr. Homebred !" cried we, our fears mounting the shoulders of our politeness; "pray pardon me, but that little memento—”

"I thought it wuz wood."

"It is; and as a keepsake from a valued friend I prize it highly; otherwise you might try your blade on it in welcome."

"Excuse me na-ow, wunt you; but I thought it was a chunk of nigger-lookin' bark. It's keyreous stuff, arn't it? Tarnation good for toothpicks, I reckon."

A considerable weight was removed from our apprehension when Jonathan restored the ornament to its proper place, and again assuming the same easy attitude as when we had opened the conversation, he proceeded to recount another incident of his London experience, to which we felt quite willing to listen.

CHAPTER III.

JONATHAN'S DONKEY-RIDE ON HAMPSTEAD HEATH.

"HA! ha! ha!

"I allers laugh when I think of it; and if I live tew be as old as Methusalah-and he was so old, they dew say, he couldn't recollect when he was born-I shall never forgit the day I happened to go donkey-ridin' at Hampstead Heath. It's a wicked. thing to say, but if I wuz in 'piscopalan meetin', and I should see myself straddlin' that dratted donk, I du b'leve to Jerico I'd hev to snort!

"You see when I kem away from hum, thar wùz a good deal

of bellowin' and cryin' 'mong the wimmen-folks about my crossin' the sea. Polly Peabody-a half-cousin to my adopted uncle's mother-in-law, who lived at our house, like tew broke her heart. Polly's got a heart as soft as a pullet's egg; and bein' a good hand at doin' little things abeout house, I took a heap of notice of her, and used tew buy her spools of yaller cotton and blue ribbuns every spell. As soon as she got wind of my goin', she tied up her head in a red-speckled handkerchief, and went round the farm makin' the tarnalist noises pr'aps you ever heard. She said that I'd get wrecked, she know'd I would, and cast away on some des'late island tew be food for varmints! She dreamt I would, and Polly Peabody's dreams were looked up tu as monstrous true things,' no matter what Deacon Helve said tew the contrary. I told her-sez I—' Poll, there's no use of yeour snifflin' abeout and makin' a walkin' mizry of yourself. I'm goin' if it busts yeour gall—thar!' Yeou see I had to be sharp, bekase if I'd ever caved in once, she'd never been satisfied till she'd druv the notion out of my head. Yeou know what women are! When she found that go I would, and could see 'trip' written on my kountenance, she kind o' pulled up the stakes of her sorrow, an' reduced herself to somethin' of a state of settlins. Poor thing! I kin see her ne-ow, goin' abeout the house with her eyes as red as geranums, and swelled up so you could jest see the shiny spots set in little flesh hills of misery! Bime-by these went down, and a day or or two before I started she had conkered everything 'cept a cut-glass bottle of smellin' salts that Aaron Crane gave her when she was bridesmaid for Hester Mullet. Thinks I, old Grief isn't a-going to hev a second crop; so I vent'ered to ask her tew take a walk with me in the corn-field, and I'd tell her somethin' she'd p'raps like tu hear. She was all up at oncelike a milk-weed, thinkin' I might hev changed my notion abeout goin' to England; and not havin' filosophy enough to keep the feelin' dark, her eyes got tew churnin' at once. 'There,' said I,

'there yeou go agin! Ne-ow, Polly, what in the name of all that's useful is the good of goin' on like this? If ye-ow don't stop it, I won't tell ye-ou what I wuz a-goin' tew.' You see I had to du it, or she'd a-headed me off! Women are sich keyurious critters! In five minutes her eyes were as dry as wheatbins agin, and puttin' her arms round my neck, with the feelins of true love gushing threw her very fingers, she said she knew she wuz a p-a-owerful weak creeter, but she meant it all for my good. Thar! What could I say? for though a man may be as hard as a grindstone, when sich talk as that is put tew him, he has to crumble like old cheese.

"Well, we took a walk through the corn-field; and I begun to talk around the subject sum'mat, bekase I knew if I come bang tew the pint another shower of tears would set in as sure as thar wuz any eye-water left. At last said I, in jist as keerless a manner as I could git together, havin' a passal of corn-leaves in my hand, which I switched around abeout to keep the fles away, sez I -Na-ow, Polly, you know I think a pizen sight of yeou, and ef you'll name anything you want in London, within reason, I'll fetch it tew you, ef its in the power of money tew git it."

"This kind o' took her down, and brighten'en up like a May mornin', every cloud rolled off of her face, and I swar to mankind ef she didn't jump up tew my face and kiss me. 'Jonathan !' she roared, 'You're tew good for this wicked world !'

"I know that,' sez I; 'but what can I dew?' and dog my cats if she didn't kiss me agin.

"Hold on!' sez I. 'Polly, you're a-goin' it a leetle tu strong ef you are a relation, and then she stopped short, and wanted to know what she should have.

"Anything yon like, Polly,' said I.

"Dear me, what shall I hev?' said she.

"Jist whatever your fancy lights on,' said I.

"Well, I wunt hev a bead reticule,' said she, all in a quiver of gladness. Hetty Rose has got one, and I don't want to be like