"Mine," says DIVINITY, "pursue a system of gimcrackery, Called Puseyism, a pack of stuff, and quite as arrant quackery." Says PHYSIC, "Mine have sleep-walkers, pretending through the hide of you, To look, although their eyes are shut, and tell you what's inside of you." "Ah!" says DIVINITY, so mine, with quibbling and with cavil ing, Would have you, ma'am, to blind yourself, to see the road to travel in." Mine," PHYSIC says, "have quite renounced their good old pills and potions, ma'am, For doses of a billionth of a grain, and such wild notions, ma'am.” "So," says DIVINITY, "have mine left wholesome exhortation, ma'am, For credencé-tables, reredoses, rood-lofts, and maceration, ma'am." "But hospitals," says PHYSIC, "my misguided boys are founding, ma'am." "Well," says DIVINITY, "of mine, the chapels are abounding, ma'am." "Mine are trifling with diseases, ma'am," says PHYSIC, "not attacking them." "Mine," says DIVINITY, " instead of curing souls, are quacking them." "Ah, ma'am," says PHYSIC, "I'm to blame, I fear, for these ab surdities." "That's my fear too," DIVINITY Says; "ma'am, upon my word it is." Says PHYSIC, "Fees, not science, have been far too much my wishes, ma'am." "Truth," says DIVINITY, "I've loved much less than loaves and fishes, ma'am." Says each to each, "We're simpletons, or sad deceivers, some of us; And I am sure, ma'am, I don't know whatever will become of us." THE RAILWAY TRAVELER'S FAREWELL TO HIS FAMILY. PUNCH. 'T WAS business call'd a Father to travel by the Rail; His eye was calm, his hand was firm, although his cheek was pale. He took his little boy and girl, and set them on his knee; And their mother hung about his neck, and her tears flowed fast and free. I'm going by the Rail, my dears-ELIZA, love, don't cry- And then, I hope, alive and well, that your Papa you'll see. I'm going by the Rail, my dears, where the engines puff and hiss; cry "Ah!" Sometimes from scandalous neglect, my dears, the sleepers sink, Or there may be a screw loose, a hook, or bolt, or pin- If a policeman's careless, dears, or if not over-bright, Points may be badly managed, as they were the other day, And should your poor Papa escape, my darlings, with his life, May he return on two legs, to his children and his wifeWith both his arms, my little dears, return your fond einbrace, And present to you, unalter'd, every feature of his face. I hope I shall come back, my dears-but, mind, I am insured— PUNCH. A LETTER AND AN ANSWER. THE PRESBYTERS TO PALMERSTON. THE Plague has come among us, Fear and remorse have stung us, We ask the State to fix a day, PALMERSTON TO THE PRESBYTERS. The Plague that comes among you, To effort hath it strung you? Miserable sinners! You ask that all should fast and pray; Sloth and supineness put away, For Plagues, like other evils, Are GoD's and not the Devil's, Miserable sinners! Scourges they are, but in a hand Look round about your city, Arouse to shame and pity, Miserable sinners! Pray but use brush and limewash pail; Fast: but feed those for want who fail : Bow down, gude town, to ask for grace, But bow with cleaner hands and face, Miserable sinners! All Time God's Law hath spoken, That Law may not be broken, Miserable sinners! But he that breaks it must endure The penalty which works the cure. То us, for God's great laws transgressel, Is doomsman Pestilence addressed, Miserable sinners! We can not juggle Heaven, With one day out of seven, Shall any force of fasts atone How expiate with prayer or psalm, Deaf ear, blind eye, and folded palm? Miserable sinners! Let us be up and stirring, Miserable sinners! 'Mong ignorant and erring, Sloth and self-seeking from us cast, For of all prayers prayed 'neath the sun PAPA TO HIS HEIR, A FAST MINOR. My son, a father's warning heed; I think my end is nigh: And then, you dog, you will succeed But, seeing you are not, just yet, Arrived at man's estate, Before you full possession get, You'll have a while to wait. A large allowance I allot You during that delay; And I don't recommend you not To throw it all away. To such advice you'd ne'er attend; Your courses; but, I know, will spend Your money like a fool. I do not ask you to eschew The paths of vice and sin; You'll do as all young boobies, who Are left, as you say, tin. PUNCH. 1 |