Then would I sweetly sail away Unto the Happy Isles, And coast about them day by day, I should not care to go ashore; Beyond the reach of any bore Beyond the newsboys' steady cry About a suicide; Perhaps I'm wrong, but when folks die I want to skirt the Happy Isles I want to steal awhile away And steal and steal and steal all day; UNKNOWN. "THE NIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS." 57 "THE NIGHT AFTER CHRISTMAS." 'Twas the night after Christmas, and all through the house Not a creature was stirring, excepting a mouse. The stockings were flung in haste over the chair, For hopes of St. Nicholas were no longer there. The children were restlessly tossing in bed, For the pie and the candy were heavy as lead, While mamma in her kerchief, and I in my gown, Had just made up our minds that we would not lie down, When out on the lawn there rose such a clatter, I sprang from my chair to see what was the mat ter. Away to the window I went with a dash, Flung open the shutter, and threw up the sash. The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow, Gave a luster of noon-day to objects below, When what to my long-anxious eyes should appear, But a horse and a sleigh, both old-fashioned and queer: With a little old driver, so solemn and slow, I drew in my head, and was turning around, When upstairs came the Doctor, with scarcely a sound. He wore a thick overcoat, made long ago, And the beard on his chin was white with the snow. He spoke a few words, and went straight to his work, He felt all the pulses,-then turned with a jerk, And laying his finger aside of his nose, With a nod of his head, to the chimney he goes,— "A spoonful of oil, ma'am, if you have it handy, No nuts and no raisins; no pies and no candy; These tender young stomachs cannot well digest All the sweets that they get; toys and books are the best. But I know my advice will not find many friends, For the custom of Christmas the other way tends. The fathers and mothers, and Santa Claus, too, Are exceedingly blind. Well, a good-night to you!" And I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight, "These feastings and candies make Doctors' bills right." UNKNOWN. IF YOU WANT A KISS, WHY, TAKE IT. 59 IF YOU WANT A KISS, WHY, TAKE IT. There's a jolly Saxon proverb That is pretty much like this,— If he has a woman's kiss. If you want a kiss, why, take it. Never let another fellow Steal a march on you in this; And the jolly ones who make it Any fool may face a cannon, But a man must win a woman You must find the tree and shake it; If the thing is worth the having, Who would burn upon a desert Who would change his sunny summer UNKNOWN. DARWINISM IN THE KITCHEN. I was takin' off my bonnet One arternoon at three, Then I takes it to the grate, Between the bars to stick it, But I hadn't long to wait Ere it changed into a cricket. Says I, "Surelie my senses When it halters to a frog. |