reverence, and a mighty good kind of young woman, not long come from the Cork convent), with ruddy cheeks, and vigorous arms, a robust waist and antigallican toes. The parties were brought together. The young gentleman stuttered a compliment, the heart of the young lady and her wooden fan were in a flutter; the question was popped. The old people put their heads together. Consideration of the marriage, high blood, and equity of redemption upon one side; and rude health and twenty thousand pounds on the other. The bargain was struck; and to ensure the hymeneal negotiation, nothing remained but that Counsellor Bellew should look over the settlements. Accordingly, a Galway attorney prepared the draft marriage settlement, with a skin for every thousand, and waited on Mr. Bellew. Laying thirty guineas on the table, and thinking that upon the credit of such a fee he might presume to offer his opinion, he commenced with an ejaculation on the fall of the good old families, until Mr. Bellew, after counting the money, cast a Caius Marius look upon him, and awed him into respect. He unrolled the volume of parchment, and the eye of the illustrious conveyancer glistened at the sight of the ancient and venerable name that stood at the head of the indenture. But as he advanced through the labyrinth of limitations, he grew alarmed and disturbed, and on arriving at the words "on the body of the said Judy Mac Gilligan to be begotten," he dropped his pen, and put the settlement away, with something of the look of a Frenchman, when he intimates his perception of an unusually bad smell. It was only after an interval of reflection, and when he had recalled the fiscal philosophy of Vespasian, that he was persuaded to resume his labours, but did not completely recover his tranquillity of mind, until turning the back of his brief, he marked that most harmonious of all monosyllables "paid," at the foot of the consolatory stipend.-Savage's Irish Sketches. LONG STORIES. Capt. George Robert Fitzgerald was one day rattling on in an ordinary, in a small town in Mayo county, when Mr. Garret Dillon, an old story-teller, shouted out: "Captain Fitzgerald, let me ask you this little question; do you intend to pay every man's club present ?" "No, sir," replied H 66 Fitzgerald, "this is an ordinary, and not my private house." Well, then, sir, as you have now for two long hours engrossed the whole talk to yourself, I lay down my watch on the table, and if you attempt to say a word for one hour, I will make it a personal matter with you." George Robert, to the surprise of the company, quietly submitted to the injunction; the hour passed on; Dillon told, as under restraint, some stories in his worst manner; and it was a relief to the company, when Fitzgerald, at the expiration of the injunction, with perfect good humour, commenced to talk as if he had never been interrupted. SMALL SERVICE. An English lady, who lived in the country, and was about to have a large dinner party, was ambitious of making as great a display as her husband's establishment, a tolerably large one, could furnish. So that there might seem to be no lack of servants, a great lad, who had been employed only in farm work, was trimmed and dressed for the occasion, and ordered to take his stand at the back of his mistress' chair, with strict injunctions not to stir from the place, nor do anything, unless she directed him; the lady well knowing, that, although no footman could make a better appearance as a piece of still life, some awkwardness would be inevitable, if he were put in motion. Accordingly, Thomas having thus been duly drilled and repeatedly enjoined, took his post at the head of the table, behind his mistress, and for awhile he found sufficient amusement in looking at the grand set-out, and staring at the guests: when he was weary of this, and of an inaction to which he was so little used, his eyes began to pry about nearer objects. It was at a time when our ladies followed the French fashion of having the back and shoulders under the name of the neck, uncovered much lower than accords either with the English climate, or with old English notions; a time when, as Landor expresses it, the usurped dominion of neck had extended from the ear downwards almost to where mermaids become fish. This lady was in the height, or lowness of that fashion; and between her shoulderblades, in the hollow of the back, not far from the confines where nakedness and clothing met, Thomas espied what Pasquier had seen upon the neck of Mademoiselle des Roches. The guests were too much engaged with the business and the courtesies of the table to see what must have been worth seeing, the transfiguration produced in Thomas's countenance by delight, when he saw so fine an opportunity of showing himself attentive, and making himself useful. The lady was too much occupied with her company to feel the flea; but, to her horror, she felt the great finger and thumb of Thomas upon her back, and, to her greater horror, heard him exclaim in exultation, to the still greater amusement of the party, "A vlea, a vlea! my lady, ecod I've caught 'en!"-The Doctor. [This reminds one of a story in Miss Hawkins's Countess and Gertrude. A POSER. At Plymouth there is, or was, a small green opposite the Government House, over which no one was permitted to pass. Not a creature was allowed to approach, save the General's cow; and the sentries had particular orders to turn away any one who ventured to cross the forbidden turf. One day old Lady D——, having called at the General's in order to make a short cut, bent her steps across the lawn, when she was arrested by the sentry calling out, and desiring her to return, and go the other road. She remonstrated; the man said he could not disobey his orders, which were to prevent any one crossing that piece of ground. "But," said Lady Dwith a stately air, "do you know who I am?" "I don't know who you be, ma'am," replied the immovable sentry, "but I knows who you b'aint-you b'aint the General's So Lady Dwisely gave up the argument, and went the other way. Cow.' BEAU BRUMMEL. Of all the beaux that ever flourished, exemplary of waistcoat and neckcloth, and having authoritative boots from which there was no appeal, Brummel appears to have been the chief. He was born in 1778, and his father, having grown wealthy by speculating in the funds, sent young George Bryan Brummel, at the proper age, to Eton. There he was a general favourite, but was more distinguished for his love of fun and frolic than for study. Even at this early period he affected a peculiar elegance, and obtained from his schoolfellows the sobriquet of "Buck Brummel," the term dandy not being then in parlance. Contests between the Etonians and the bargemen were frequent. Upon one of these occasions an unlucky bargee fell into the hands of the schoolboys, who, in resentment of their having been roughly handled by him in some previous quarrel, were about to fling him over the bridge into the river, when Brummel saved the poor fellow by exclaiming : My good fellows, don't send him into the river! the man is evidently in a high state of perspiration, and it amounts almost to a certainty that he will catch cold!" 66 From Eton Brummel went to Oriel College, Oxford, where he did not remain long, for he was not much more than sixteen years old, when his father died, and in three months he was gazetted to a cornetcy in the 10th Hussars, then commanded by the Prince of Wales. Brummel had, when an Eton boy, been presented to the Prince on the terrace at Windsor Castle, and was soon received into high favour. Brummel's assurance, at this early date, was sublime. A great law-lord gave a ball, at which a Miss J., one of the beauties of the day, was present; she declined all offers to dance until the young hussar made his appearance, and he, having proffered to lead her out, she acquiesced quietly, to the mortification of the disappointed candidates. In one of the pauses of the dance he found himself next an acquaintance, when he exclaimed, "Ha! you here? Do, my good fellow, tell me who that ugly man is leaning against the chimneypiece?" Why, surely you must know him," replied the other; "'tis the master of the house." "No, indeed," said the cornet, coolly; "how should I? I never was invited." Brummel soon grew weary of a soldier's life. His regiment, being at Brighton, was unexpectedly ordered to Manchester. The news arrived in the evening, and early next day Brummel made his appearance before the Prince of Wales, to whom he apologetically explained: "Why, the fact is, your Royal Highness, I have heard that we are ordered to Manchester. Now, you must be aware how disagreeable this is to me! I really could not go think, your Royal Highness-Manchester ! Besides, you would not be there. I have, therefore, determined, with your Royal Highness' permission, to sell out." The flattery was well-timed, and secured the Prince's acquiescence. A year afterwards Brummel came into possession of his fortune, which had accumulated, during his minority, to thirty thousand pounds. He then took a house in May Fair, 4, Chesterfield-street, in which street George Selwyn resided some forty years previously. Brummel soon became famed for the excellence of his dinners, and the Prince was more than once his guest. Brummel subsequently removed to 22, South-street. He was not a mere coxcomb, but already a man of great shrewdness and observation, and strong satirical spirit. Madame de Stael is said to have stood in awe of him, and considered her having failed to please him as her greatest misfortune; while she placed the Prince of Wales having neglected to call upon her, only as a secondary cause of lamentation. However, Brummel is best known by his excess of affectation, which often resembled humour. An acquaintance, in a morning call, having recently been travelling in the north of England, persisted in crossquestioning Brummel about the Lakes-which did he like best? Tired at length of affected raptures, Brummel turned to his valet, who chanced to be in the room-" Robinson?" "Sir?" "Which of the Lakes do I admire ?" "Windermere, sir," replied the valet, who understood his master's humour. "Ah! yes, Windermere," repeated Brummel; “so it is,-Windermere." The intimacy between Brummel and the Prince lasted some years; the quarrel which led to the estrangement is variously related some said it was owing to Brummel desiring the Prince to ring the bell, an assertion which the Beau stoutly denied. Moore sings: "Neither have I resentments, nor wish there should come ill To cut me, and bring the old King into fashion. Others said the offence arose from the friend's ridicule of the favourite mistress Fitzherbert. Brummel protested that it was he who had cut the Prince, in public, in the following manner :—Riding one day with a friend, who happened to be otherwise regarded, and encountering the Prince, who spoke to the friend, without noticing Brummel, he affected the air of one who waits aloof while a stranger is present; and then, |