attended, a tea-party at Mrs. Demurrer's, the lawyer's lady. She came home with her head full of the splendour and finery she had witnessed; and I have ever since been bothered to death, with the din of new carpets, new sideboards, new dresses, floating islands, obelisks, and whip-syllabubs. The poor woman has seen more than her husband is worth, and is ready to break her heart because she cannot dash as well as Mrs. Demurrer. In vain do I plead my inability to gratify her. The answer is, 'Run in debt,-go to the bank,—and do as other people do.' Oh, Jeremy! shiver my timbers, old boy, if I would not rather be keel-hauled, than tied to a fashionable wife. Don't, my dear fellow, don't get married in these times, if you value your peace of mind."

Now, Mr. Herald, no one can admire the ladies more than your humble servant; nor can any mortal have higher ideas of the felicity, which might be enjoyed in the marriage state; but, sir, who, that has any reflection, and is not blessed with a large fortune, can have courage to run his head into the noose, with such examples before him as Mrs. Demurrer and Jack Bowline's wife? How can these evils be remedied? As it is idle to hope for reformation in those, who are possessed with the fashionable mania, and as the want of cash seems to be the great obstacle to matrimony, and settlements have vanished, I would beg leave to propose a plan, which may prove beneficial to both sexes. It is not a new one; but has been so long out of date, that it will, at least, possess the charm of novelty.

Let all marriageable girls, (young and old,) be assembled annually at one place. Let them be put up by the auctioneer, one after another. The rich will pay a high price for the handsomest. The money thus received, should be bestowed as a portion on the more homely, whom the auctioneer should present in their turns, asking if any one would accept of such an one with such a

sum.

This plan was practised with great success among the Assyrians, and several other nations of antiquity; and it appears to me to be founded in good policy. The rich will be able to support their bargains, of course; and the second-chop wives will bring something to sup

port their own extravagance; no one being obliged to accept of a damsel, unless she brings money with her.

MR. PRINTER,

[From the same.]

ABOUT two years ago, I addressed to you a letter on the extravagance of the times. You were good enough to honour it with an insertion in your useful and interesting paper; and I afterwards had the satisfaction of seeing it in several other respectable journals. It excited my vanity, and I determined to try another touch. But business, and that diffidence, which attends a beginner in every new branch, have hitherto prevented. The stagnation of commerce, however, has lately offered me some leisure, and I have concluded to devote a part of it to the communicating of such observations and information through the Herald, as my experience and acquaintance with what people call "the world," may furnish, and my judgment deem worthy of publication.

My first letter introduced you to an acquaintance with captain Bowline and his lady, and I will now give the sequel of their story.

Of all competition, that for precedence in dress and style is most ridiculous. Trifling as it is, however, more evil has resulted from it to families, than from any other source. On which sex the imputation of this folly more deservedly falls, is not now worth asking. Suffice it to say, that, of this class of competitors, was Mrs. Bowline. Mrs. Demurrer gave parties, and Mrs. Bowline was invited. Politeness requires a reciprocity of attention. Madame Bowline gave her parties in return. If Mrs. Demurrer had a new carpet, poor Jack Bowline had no peace of his life, until he found credit, to get a better one for his dulcinea. If he opposed her inclinations in any extravagant plan, the woman's ready logic was at hand. "Didn't her father give her a handsome setting out? Wasn't it necessary for her respectability, and that of her children, to maintain their rank in society? Wasn't it the duty of a man to maintain his wife? If he could not maintain her, why did he marry her? She had her choice-that she had; and he little knew how

many good offers she had refused." Against such arguments, backed by floods of tears, what man could stand? Surely not Jack Bowline, whose heart was ever ready to run before his head. The consequence is obvious. Jack ran in debt; and soon gave the sheriff leg bail. The following letters show the result.

"MR. BROADCLOTH,

66 SIR,-I hope you will pardon the liberty I take, in requesting of you a favour for myself and my wretched family. The history of my life you know. My foolish vanity has been the ruin of the best of husbands. Our last dollar has gone to pay sheriffs and lawyers. For months, I have been dependent on my family connexions for bread. They are tired of supporting me; and absolute necessity compels me, in the name of that friendship, which you had for my dear, lost Jack, to tax your goodness. I can say no more. Read the inclosed. Your obedient servant, BETTY BOWLINE." Dec. 5th, 1820.

"MY DEAR BETTY,

"N

"In a few hours I shall be no more. My life is forfeited to the violated laws of my country. Your extravagance involved me in debt, and debt in crime. I am a pirate! I have been taken. I am condemned! It was to maintain your rank in society,' that Jack Bowline has lost his honour and his life. You have a daughter. Teach her Economy-teach her Industry—above all, O teach her Humility! The love of fashion and the desire of keeping up appearances, have ruined more of your sex, than any other propensities. They are the banes of civilized life. But for these, I might now be honest and respected, and you, Betty, and my little ones, comfortable and happy. I forgive you may God. Your lost husband, JACK BOWLINE."

May the fate of poor Jack and his fashionable wife prove a salutary warning to some of our present gentry.

[From the same.]

"Villiam Vyx, I tell you how,

That vee must do as other people do."

THERE is no greater folly, than the desire of equalling our neighbours and acquaintances in external appearances. None is more common, nor has any been the subject of more general reprobation. Yet, few persons, even of the soundest understanding, have sufficient independence or energy, to overcome a weakness so palpable and so ridiculous. Philosophy, reason, and even

the most imperious duty, cannot enable us to resist the force of custom. The "dull excuse for doing silly things," has more weight than any law. It justifies every extravagance, and even palliates vice. We need only observe the fashions of the day, to be convinced of this fact, and to be satisfied of the unhappy consequences resulting from the propensity to which I have alluded. But as example is more effectual than precept, I will illustrate my ideas on the subject, by submitting to the reader the following letter, which I received a few days -ago.

"MR. BROADCLOTH,

"As you seem disposed to treat of the follies and vices of the times, and have taken up your pen with the good intention of correcting the errors and mending the morals of your fellows; I presume to lay a case (of some domestic importance) before you; hoping that it may meet that consideration, which it merits.

6

"You must know, sir, that I am married. After having lived to the age of forty-six, in a comfortable state of celibacy, and amassed a decent livelihood, I thought it a duty to enter into the more holy state of matrimony. I will not tire you with a transcript of all the various and delightful phantasies which crowded my imagination, after I had screwed my courage to the sticking-place,' and resolved to wed. You are too well acquainted with the town, and its commerce of every description, to doubt my veracity, when I tell you, that a man of my age, with $15,000 in his pocket, found no obstacle, other than his inclination or fancy, to hinder him in such a speculation. Money is not to be found every day; and few women, however beautiful, will object to an establishment. I soon got spliced. My wife, who is some years younger than your humble servant, was, during the honey-moon, all that I could wish. We received wedding visits, and returned them. People that I never saw before in my life, called with my friends, and drank my wine. I laughed with them; and possibly they laughed at me; but that was all well enough, because it is the custom. I knew these ceremonies would soon be over, when I hoped to sit down in quiet and happiness with my lady, unmolested by intruders and impertinent visiters. But, alas ! what a thing this matrimony is! My lady was a great belle. She had numerous acquaintances! and though she did not bring me any thing but her beauty, she insists on the right of moving in respectable society. There is hardly a night, (when she is at home,) but we are honoured with a visit by some of her respectable acquaintances. About once a week, we must have a party. These grievances I bore for some months without complaining. At length, I ventured to

tell her ladyship,,' that these parties, and their appendages, furniture, dress, servants, &c. &c. would, in a short time, not only eat up my income, but swallow down my capital; that I had married her, and not her society; that we could live very comfortably ourselves, but that my means were not competent to the support of her friends and acquaintances. I should be always glad to see them, but I was unable always to feed them.' I knew that she had the character of being an economist, and therefore expected, that after such an explanation of my views and circumstances, she would of course give some evidence, that her reputation was not unmerited. She did. But it was evidence of such economy as would kill me to practice. Law! my dear,' said she, 'you cannot accuse me of extravagance. If we do have a party now and then, what is the expense of a little cake, a few servants, a little wine, and an occasional change of old furniture for new? What are all these, I say, in comparison with the advantage you derive from moving in a respectable sphere. Do not all our friends and acquaintances give parties too, and have new furniture into the bargain? Would you resign your station in society, and mope for ever at home? If you must retrench, I can show you how, without detracting from your respectability. Curtail the expenses of your kitchen. What do we want with fresh meat every day? Live as my father did. A pound of salt pork every other day for dinner, with a little bread and cheese by way of change, will do very well, and will not cost much. This is the way in which Mrs. Demurrer lives. And what a dash her husband cuts, with half your means, my love!'

"Now, Mr. Broadcloth, imagine, if you can, what must be the feelings of a man, who has been accustomed to good living all his days, and who knows, by experience, that without it, there is no such thing as good health, on being assailed with such economy. My wife insists that I shall starve myself, to feed her friends and acquaintances! This is not all, sir. She has actually put in force her starving economy; and from being a portly, healthy man, I have become as poor as a June shad, and as weak as a kitten. It is by such economy, I find, that half our 'great folks' maintain their respectability, and keep up appearances. Many who live in style, are not fed so well as day labourers. In pity to suffering humanity, Mr. Broadcloth, I pray you apply a remedy to this evil, and lash every fashionable female economist' in the city. What is the gratification of doing as other people do,' at the expense of health and comfort? With great respect, sir, I have the honour to be your very obedient and half-starved servant,

TIMOTHY BUCKRAM."

"P. S. Do have this published, that Mrs. Buckram may reap the benefit of reading it; and if she is not dead to all the