A NOVEL WRIT, A TRUE STORY. Before Samuel Wheeler, Justice of the Peace. 66 NEHEMIAH HODGES, ads. JOHN NAYLOR. There were some strange emotions in my mind when I put down in my register the title of that suit; and though many years have rolled away since that time, yet even now I cannot turn to the page where that suit is entered and look at the faded writing without a sigh and a smile. It was my first suit at law; and I was as proud of it as I had been of my first suit of coat and trowsers twenty years before. It was the first opportunity in which Hannibal Manning, attorney at law, was to undertake the cause of his fellow man. In that suit I was to try my new-fledged powers; and, as I fondly hoped, was to show such a knowledge of principles, such familiarity with decisions, such skill in cross-examination, and such eloquence in summing up," as to astonish the opposing counsel, carry the justice's decision by storm, obtain a judgment for my client, and, better than all, spread my fame for legal ability throughout the village of C, and the adjoining country. When, therefore, I had entered the title of this cause on the unsoiled page of my new Register, and had carefully indexed it under letter H, with an accurate reference to page 1, (as though it would be difficult to find it!) I seemed to myself to have taken a very considerable step towards the summit of professional success; and I felt, as divines say, deeply impressed with a sense of my responsibility. True, the suit was not a great matter, as it was brought for the damages done by one of Mr. Hodge's hogs to a few stunted cabbages, which grew in what Mr. Naylor called his garden. But it was enough that it was a suit; and that I was the attorney for the defendant. Since that time I have been engaged in causes involving important principles as well as large amounts of property; but I have never felt my responsibility so heavily as when retained in behalf of Mr. Hodge's trespassing hog. And though, like others, I have, in spite of every effort, lost causes in which I believed, from iny heart, that my clients were in the right, and have suffered all the consequent mortification, which none but the lawyer can feel; yet I have never been so deeply chagrined as when on that same first page of my register, I wrote: "Judgment rendered for the plaintiff, for $6.72 damages, $5.50 costs." The doctor whose first patient has died, and the clergyman whose first audience have snored will understand part of my feelings, but not the whole, as I shall endeavor to show. I had spent my clerkship in a city office, in which a very exten sive law business wae done. On my admission to the bar I had moved to the village of C., a small country town in this state. There I had hired an office, put into it a few chairs and a table, and my small library, and was waiting for clients, like a spider for flies. Over the door, in all the glitter of new gilding, hung a sign, bearing my name and occupation. It was made by a country artist, and of course he had painted all the N.'s (of which there are not a few in my name) in reverse; preferring, unlike a good herald, the bend sinister to the bend dexter. It was in this office that I was quietly sitting one afternoon, when Mr. Hodges entered, a plain, country farmer. Now, thought I, for my first suit, perhaps a cause in equity, which I can bequeath to my children. My hopes fell, however, when I learned that Mr. Hodges had been sued before a justice, for trespasses committed by his hog; and that this was the suit in which he wished my services. But small suits lead to greater; so after spending half an hour in looking over authorities on the subject of tresspass, I took a few books, and set out with Mr. Hodges in his wagon for the justice's house. I had never attended a justice's court, and pleased myself, as we rode, by fancying how gracefully, in these courts, the dignity of the bench must be blended with the courtesies of social life. We found quite a crowd at squire Wheeler's, waiting for the squire, who was in the corn-field. He soon however laid down the hoe, and came in to lay down the law, telling the crowd, as he passed, "Court's going to open, boys." As the parties and the spectators assembled, I saw that the suit arose from spite between the parties, and was brought for annoyance. And a better man to conduct it for that purpose could not be found than squire Hawks, the plaintiff's counsel; a man of some legal learning, more shrewd sense, and an unlimited quantity of impudence; with a fund of dry humor, concealed under an immovable countenance. His word withal, was law to the justice, a stupid, muddle-headed man, not wanting in conceit and obstinacy. The parties were called, and the case opened. Piggy's trespasses were quite clearly proved, and some small value set on the cabbages. I had intended to answer all this by calling the plaintiff's son as a witness, who had, in fact, enticed Piggy with ears of corn into his father's garden, and then had nearly killed the animal in driving it out. But to my utter astonishment, squire Hawk's insisted that it was contrary to every principle of law to make a son testify against his father. It was in vain that I attempted to oppose him. He poured out a torrent of words which overwhelmed the staring open-mouthed justice. "Sir," said he, "has the counsel never read his Bible, that good book, where it says, way over in the back part of it, honor your father and mother,' your honor? And sir, how can a son honor his father and testify against him, sir. No sir. Such doctrines may do for the city, but let not the gentleman bring them into the country, where the birds sing on the trees, and the lambkins shake their woolly tails on the hills, sir." It was too much. I grew vexed. Did he think me a fool, or was he one himself? I lost patience, and of course lost ground. The testimony was rejected. But the counsel had yet a chef-d'œuvre. It may not be known to all my readers, that when a document in the possession of a witness, is needed in court as evidence, the witness is commanded by a writ called subpœna duces tecum, to bring it with him into court. This suggested a brilliant thought to squire Hawks, and he thus continued, "If, your honor, we had this hog, we should make a profert in curiam, which means, produce the critter in court, but as we have not, your honor must issue a writ of subpæna duces tecum por cum, and make the witness on the stand forthwith bring the hog into court." I was thunderstruck, and rose to remonstrate. But it was in vain. He assured the justice that it was a writ of right, provided for in Magna Charta, and authorised by the habeas corpus act. "But squire," said the bewildered justice, " perhaps the hog won't come." "Sir," replied squire Hawks, "Shall hogs trespass in their neighbors' gardens, trampling on all the tender feelings of humanity, and then refuse to come into court. No sir. As Lord Coke says, cessante causa cessat effectus, which for the benefit of my young friend on the opposite side, I will translate; the hog that can come and won't come, must be made to come." "Well squire" rejoined the half-puzzled justice, "if you say so, so it must be; but we'll adjourn to the wood-house, cause my wife would "s'peeny" the hog out of this here room, quicker than I could "s'peeny" it in, a plaguey sight." "I'll be blamed," here exclaimed my client, who by no means relished the proposition of catching his hog. "I'll be blamed, if any body shall touch my hogs with a "dusy stickum," least of all that feller," shaking his fist at the witness, who, it seemed, sided with the plaintiff. "Sir" said squire Hawks to the justice, in his most solemn manner, "I warn the defendant against resisting the law, and I call on the court to protect itself from contempt." 64 Rather hard work, I thought to myself, but I found it was useless to say anything. The writ was duly made out and signed, commanding the witness to bring with him into court a certain four-legged animal, or quadruped, commonly called a hog, or pig, of a white color, with three notches in the left ear." "But squire Hawks" said the witness, "how am I to catch the cussed critter?" "What!" answered the squire with apparent astonishment, "have you been constable, and don't know how to make an arrest? Put your hand on him and read over the writ; and if he resists call the posse comitatus. And now, your honor, I move that the court adjourn to help the witness to catch the hog." 66 Off we went, justice, parties, counsel, witness and spectators; my client grumbling that he'd rather have paid for all the darned cabbages, than to have 'em chase his best hog with a dusy stickum;" myself, crest fallen and quite ridden over by the authoritative language of squire Hawks; and this last person with a coun tenance as composed and grave as if he were attending the execution of a criminal. I was utterly at a loss to know what to think of him. 66 The hog-yard of Mr. Hodges was not so large as to discourage the attempt to catch the animal, nor so small as to render it an easy task. When I arrived there, the witness had commenced operations. With his coat off and the subpana carefully held aloft in his left hand, he was in full chase around the yard after the porker. Once having caught the animal by the tail, he tried to sarve the s'peeny;" but his hold was not firm, and before he could read a word, Piggy was off; apparently not liking a “seizin in tail." The ground was slippery, and four legs were better than two; still by a desperate effort he was at last able to seize the squealing animal by the ear. In this position, hog and witness, both at full speed, he began to read the writ; disjointed fragments of which reached our ears with a running accompaniment of grunts and squeals; "by authority"-"commanded"—" bring with you." But it was an unlucky day for the witness. Piggy finding that he was in the hand of the law, determined to surrender, and therefore came at once to a stand. This sudden submission however was what our witness was not prepared for. The opposing forces of his speed and Piggy's firmness, produced a rapid circular motion of which Piggy's ear was the centre; and, added to the slipperiness of the mud, brought him to the ground, just at the words "a certain four-legged animal." The scene was ludicrous beyond description. I laughed in spite of my vexation, and farmer Hodges, whose anger had been rising higher every moment, at this invasion of his piggery burst into a hearty roar of laughter which banished half his ill will against neighbor Naylor. But squire Hawks did not even smile. Not the least twinkle of the eye, not the slightest curl of the lip showed that he saw any thing laughable in the performance. Even when the witness, slowly picking himself up from the ground, wiped off the mud from his face, and from the "s'peeny," and with a piteous and imploring look said, "squire, don't you think we want the posse com/artus?" even then, with the same unmoved face, the squire coolly replied that he thought they did. But I will not weary the reader with an account of the subsequent means taken to "sarve the s'peeny :" it is enough to say that when, about an hour after, the court re-opened, Piggy was brought in by four men, under the direction of the witness, surrounded by all the neighborhood, whom the noise had drawn together to see this new judicial proceeding. Piggy, though overthrown (they carried him by his legs) was not conquered, and protested by frequent struggles and constant squeals against this invasion of his personal rights. But force carried the day, and the "dusy stickum" had to be obeyed. The witness again took the stand, and testified (as well as he could with Piggy's interruptions) that this was the identical animal which broke into Mr. Naylor's garden and destroyed his cab bages. Squire Hawks then said that he would submit the case without argument: "the justice himself”— squeal —“ could see" -squeal" what devastation and destruction". squesquesquesque-e-e-al-" such an unruly"-a violent kicking from Piggy-(hold him still, Jim, mind the "dusy-stickum") "animal would make." I rose to reply. I was indignant and vexed, vexed at squire Hawks for his conduct, and at myself for having been betrayed into laughing at the performances. I was determined to hold up his course to the scorn which it deserved, and teach him to respect the dignity of the law. I would show the court that though the case was small, principles were great. I commenced in a strain corresponding to these feelings; and making myself heard as well as I could, insisted that the animal should be turned out of the room. Whether Piggy's struggles at this point become unrestrainable, or whether there was some understanding among his guardians, I cannot say, but just then, in the midst of one of my finest periods, he broke loose and darted for the door. Unfortunately I stood in the way; and before I could avoid him, I found myself flat upon the ground with my hard extended upwards in a most eloquent gesture. Solventur risu tabulæ. I did not resume my speech, but hurried from the house, vowing that I never would appear before a country justice again, where there was a hog in the case. This was all many years ago; but I have never been able to learn from Hawks, in our many hearty laughs over that day's doings, (for he can laugh and heartily too) whether I am indebted to his waggery for my overthrow. He always evades the question. TO JESSY, ON COMPLETING HER FIRST YEAR. BY C. M. N. I. A year hath fled since first thine eyes And fields of pure, unfading green, As bright and beautiful as now! Will set its seal upon that brow, |